Listen To Your Dad, Son
I'd mind the wife you choose, son, for here, great care is needed,
As many have paid the price when such counsel they’ve not heeded.
It’s far from a little matter who you choose to be your wife,
Therefore, watch that youthful passion, lest pain soon engulf your life.
It’s far better to stay single than to make a big mistake
By marrying a woman that God wouldn’t want you to take.
Plus, God will not bless a union that runs counter to His will,
A union that you seem set on, despite Him warning it’ll bring ill.
It’s been said that love is blind, and so often that has proved true,
So give this lots of thought, lest you end up with someone you’ll rue.
You wouldn't be the first, son, and you'll certainly not be the last
To set your eyes and heart upon, one whom your arms should never clasp.
And the same goes for a woman, lest she too, make a mistake,
By taking for a husband, one God wouldn’t want her to take.
Both Christian men and women, should trust and wait upon the Lord,
Who when the right time is ready, that trust in Him will reward.
Yes, have faith in your Creator, who knows who will suit you best,
For those who let the Lord lead them, with the right one will be blest.
To ignore what God has said, via His Word or those He has sent,
Could well mean that in the future, your foolish choice you’ll lament.
Please listen to your father, son, for I’m a male just like you,
I know the way you’re feeling, for I have felt the same way too.
But one must be objective when one is thinking of a wife,
Lest the physical, or emotional, wrongly affect your future life.
Yes, listen to your father, son, for I’ve learnt a thing or two,
Having seen so many men tumble, once unchecked desire grew.
For some it’s been adultery, for others, 'twas simply lust,
But somewhere, we all come unstuck, when in God we cease to trust.
Loving wisdom fills the pages of that guide book God has sent,
Which much pain, many could have spared, who contrary to it went.
For by putting trust in self, rather than in the saving Word,
We soon find that what we thought best, simply future problems stirred.
You may be tired of hearing things that I state to spare you ill,
But such you should consider, son, if you wish that all go well.
Many fathers when they were younger such advice chose to spurn,
And now, are warning their own sons, lest they too, the hard way learn.
Yes, fathers are human too, son, but good fathers try their best
To spare their children sadness found in many a marital nest.
Therefore, take that time that is needed to ensure that your choice
Will meet the Lord’s approval, for that way, you will soon rejoice.
It’s okay to be single, son, though a partner most would love,
But leave that big decision in the hands of the Lord above.
Yes, keep your mind upon Him, and live according to His Word,
And He will do the scouting, for your wish He has clearly heard.
She’s simply just one woman, son, there are many more worldwide,
So, let the Lord who knows each one, the right one for you provide.
It’s the same regarding men, for there are many of them too,
That God picks for faithful women, and I’ve hoped one might be you.
By Lance Landall
Dating
Do you realize that dating, as we know it today, is not a biblical concept?
Let’s look at why dating is not appropriate for the Christian —
God’s Word counsels the married person to please their partner, but
counsels the single person to concentrate on pleasing the Lord (1 Cor
7:32-34). That’s where God wants a single persons energy
directed. With dating, the attention of the young man and woman
is directed toward each other. Thus their focus is taken away from God
and the duties He wants them to perform on His behalf while they’re
free to do so — in other words, not tied down with the additional
responsibilities of marriage. It’s by dedicating our single years
to God that we receive His wisdom regarding a life partner (Prov
19:14). Such wisdom enables us to establish the strong
foundations necessary for a successful and happy marriage. It’s
God who knows best who would be right for us, and when that
relationship should take place.
The motive behind dating is one of getting, not giving. Getting, in
this realm, is more in keeping with lust. Love, on the other
hand, seeks to give, without expecting anything in return (1 Cor
13:4-7). The motive behind dating is personal pleasure.
Most people realize and accept that dating is a temporary
romantic relationship. Thus dating encourages the selfish and
destructive ‘try before you buy’ mentality, which leaves many hurt and
misused in its wake [path]
(1 Thess 4:3-8). For most, dating invariably leads to intimate
behaviour that is reserved for marriage alone (2 Cor 11:2; 1 Cor
7:1,2,9; 6:18; 1 Thess 4:3-8; Heb 13:4; Prov 11:16; 7:4,5; 5:3-5; Matt
5:28).
Therefore, let’s look at the risks and common destructive results of dating —
Sexual temptation; wrong sexual expectations and demands; sexual abuse;
date rape; unwanted pregnancies; fatherless children; epidemic sexual
diseases; wounded hearts; hurting parents; damaged relationships and
futures; guilt; unfair expectations and demands in general; loss of
dignity and self respect; angry accusations; jealousy; suicide; the
possible burden of child maintenance; friends taking sides; wasted
opportunities, etc, etc. Is it any wonder then, that dating often
forms the basis for conflicts in marriage. Ask yourself the
following: How would you feel walking past someone in the street that
you know your spouse previously was sexually intimate with? Would
your relationship feel quite so special? Would you feel cheated?
Would your spouse still have feelings for that person? Might they
turn to them for sympathy during a rocky patch in your marriage?
How would you feel about someone who, having previously been intimate
with you, passed the details around, and derogatorily so? Or
about your spouse, if it had been them? How would you feel about
your spouse comparing you [either openly or in their thoughts]
with previous sexual encounters that they had had? Would you feel
secure? Could you settle easily into a lifelong relationship,
after having had a variety of intimate experiences with others?
Could your spouse, if it was them? How would you feel if you were
the cause of your spouse suffering a sexual disease because of your
past promiscuity? How would you feel about someone, as a result
of your previous sexual activity, turning up at your doorstep claiming
to be your child? Given where dating leads, how responsible,
intelligent or loving is such a concept, especially where younger
people are involved. How can we expect young people to have the
depth of maturity needed for such a potential mine-field as dating. At
the age most young people date, their hearts are ruled more by their
hormones than good sense. Hence the early marriages that end
disastrously. Is it any wonder then that we are faced with the
serious problems that dating has created. When we accept, allow,
encourage or expect our youth to date, what else can we expect?
So if dating is not appropriate for the Christian, what should the
Christian do?
Here I would like to recomend the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris.
Otherwise, one can apply the principles of
courtship. Let’s look at the how and why of courtship —
When courting, the couple do not go out alone as they would when
dating. This helps to prevent the many pitfalls and hidden
agendas that can occur when regularly spending time alone with someone
of the opposite sex. Courtship is carried out in the company of
the families involved. This is achieved via planned activities. This
way they are both able to learn what each other is truly like, because
no one knows them better than their parents, siblings or
relations. In such a setting, with all the interaction that takes
place, their character traits and general behaviour are more easily
observed. Thus a more correct picture can be formed, allowing them to
make a better judgment. It’s very common for someone to hide
things about themselves that they don’t want the other person to
know. Good behavior can be feigned. With family members around,
that is less likely. The family members can also guide them in their
judgment. There’s nothing like collective wisdom or the wisdom
that comes from many years of personal experience. Such, helps to
protect them from unsuitable partners. This is how the Lord can
guide them in their choice of a lifetime partner (Matt 19:5,6; Rom
7:2-4; 2 Cor 11:2; Mal 2:14-16; Prov 2:17). And the best partner
is the one that God leads us to. Courtship helps to keep them
morally pure in their thoughts and actions until the time when they tie
the knot with the right life long partner (Eccl 11:9; Job 31:1; 1 Thess
4:3-8; 2 Cor 11:2). Have you ever had a sneaky look at your Christmas
present before Christmas. When you finally get to open it, it
just doesn’t have that same zing does it? It’s like that when we
play around before marriage. There’s nothing more special, more
deeper, than having an intimate lifelong relationship with someone, who
like you, has never had such a relationship with anyone else, nor
intends to. God wants us to have that kind of relationship with
Him. He’s a jealous God, and rightly so.