Dizzy Heights
Though high heel shoes look attractive (and are common today),
I don’t know why they’re worn, for it’s clear such doesn’t pay.
I guess it’s just the fashion, but one that’s very risky
Given all that wobbling, and those shrieks, incidentally.
Yes, I’ve seen a few tumble after a left and right lurch,
And then, for the offending item, franticly search.
Once found, it’s back on their foot, and it’s here we go again,
Seesawing and lurching, much to the amusement of men.
I’m embarrassed to say it, but I’ve even tried some on,
Not that I’m encouraging men to such perilous shoes don.
No, I simply experimented — curiosity —
And how women can wear such footwear, truly failed to see.
Talk about uncomfortable! Don’t even think about it, men,
And let me tell you this: It’s like trying to walk again.
In fact, it seems like a form of punishment — torture, maybe,
And why never again will you see such unsafe stilts on me.
They come in all shapes and sizes, and various heights too,
Some are so high they’re like a footstool, rather than a shoe.
And there are those narrow heels, just begging for holes and cracks,
That send limbs in all directions, twist necks, and put out backs.
Believe it or not, I’ve seen women run in them, truly,
It’s hard enough just walking in them, but running, dear me!
However, I’ve got to hand it to them, for that’s quite a feat,
But oh my, have you seen them hobbling, those blisters on their feet?
No, give me normal shoes any day, shoes we’re meant to wear,
For I’d rather feel secure, not be lurching here and there.
Our feet are flush with the ground, therefore, footwear should be too,
Lest we find ourselves waiting in a fracture clinic queue.
By Lance Landall