Earthlings
Earthlings are most intriguing — yes, it’s amusing what they do,
And the following examples show my sentiments are true.
To begin: They’ll buy a ladder, and then stand on chairs and stools,
Or they will ask for a hot drink, and then wait until it cools.
See what I mean? However, there is so much more to this scene.
They don’t watch where they’re going, thus they constantly slip or trip,
They linger in the bathroom, leave the lights on, or let taps drip.
They pull such funny faces, and make some funny gestures too,
And for reasons that are unknown, they scare folk by saying, “Boo!”
They will chat away to creatures who can’t understand a word,
Or they will natter to themselves, which seems even more absurd.
And I’ve even heard it said that some will answer themselves back,
While others simply stand around all day and yackety-yak.
They're noisy when they slumber, they wriggle about in their bed,
And they’re often heard to mutter, yet, deny the things they’ve said.
They nod off when they are reading, they poke fingers in their ears,
And they pretend to be asleep, or they cry crocodile tears.
They usually scratch their head when they’re confused or thinking,
And there is a need for caution when you see any winking.
They like to tease and tickle, and they play practical jokes too,
But when the tables are turned, oh dear, what a hullabaloo.
They eat until they feel too full, they fry themselves in sunshine,
They won’t wear raincoats when it’s wet, but wear gumboots when it’s fine.
They put holes in their body, they say that they’re fat when they’re thin,
And what's worse, put the jug in the fridge and try to plug the milk in.
Yes, they’re a strange lot, I must say, a very confusing race,
For they do the oddest of things, at anytime, and anyplace.
I wonder what makes them tick, why it is that they’re like they are?
Yes, it’s really got me puzzled, for it all seems quite bizarre.
By Lance Landall