...if you haven't been, and how LOVE would see things.
We're talking THOUGHTFULNESS, etiquette.
And all why the Good Word says:
"Treat others the same way you want them to treat you" (Luke 6:31, NASB).
Introduction:
When I go about my daily
rounds, I come across people that I (and many others) would be
reluctant to invite home.
So what makes the difference between those that I (and many others) would or wouldn't invite home?
In a nutshell: Upbringing.
At the end of the day, it largely comes down to TRAINING, which should start very early in a child's life. It's been said that the first word a baby learns to say is "No," which isn't too far off the mark.
A little story:
I read about a few orphaned, adolescent bull elephants at a national park that had been on a rampage killing rhinos, uprooting trees, and upsetting other animals-cum-making a real nuisance of themselves.
Despite the attempts of park rangers to figure out why and bring a stop to such behaviour, the problem just continued on until they brought in a number of older bull elephants that modelled acceptable elephant etiquette.
What was learned from this, was that the orphaned, adolescent bull elephants had missed out on the example (training) of the normal elephant group. In other words, they having had no mature role models.
This is where parents come in, and why the early years are so critical.
When children don’t have that secure sense of belonging, nor good role models to follow, they're not likely to behave well either, nor display acceptable human etiquette.
Things You Should've Been Taught:
1)
Don’t visit, shake hands, or hug someone when you’ve got a cold or the flue, nor attend the likes of unimportant meetings or social gatherings. Hopefully, Covid 19 has taught us something.
2)
If you call on someone, don’t continue talking at their open front or back door when they’re trying to keep their house warm.
3)
When visiting someone, don’t help yourself to their things without asking first, nor just wander through their home, and bear in mind that some people are very fussy when it comes to their things (perhaps because they've had to struggle to get what they have and can't afford repairs or replacements).
4)
When visiting someone, remember that in their home their rules apply. If you don’t like those rules, don’t visit, but if you have to call in on people, make sure that you keep those rules. And should you take your children with you, make sure that they behave and not upset, which surely would be the case if they’ve been raised correctly — in other words, been disciplined at home and taught thoughtfulness. If your children are allowed to jump all over the furniture at home, say, they'll think that it's alright to do the very same thing at someone else's house.
5)
Wipe your shoes on a mat provided or take them off before entering someone’s home.
6)
Wash your hands before handling food, before a meal, after attending the toilet, and after using your cell phone should it ring during a meal, and also if you need to blow your nose. And don't put dirty things on someone's clean tablecloth meant for food only (cell phones and notebooks for example).
7)
Don’t talk when you’ve food in your mouth, don't eat with your mouth open, don't pick at your teeth, don't lick your fingers, don't lick your knife, nor use that same main meal knife to butter your bread, say.
8)
Don’t use the spoon or fork that you’ve been eating off to help yourself to more of something that’s been provided for others to use too. Such is not only unhealthy but disgusting.
9)
If you can’t brush your teeth after a meal, remove any food that’s clinging to your front teeth, as such can be rather off-putting.
10)
If you drop food or crumbs on the floor, sweep them up straight away. Likewise, if you've left hairs on the bathroon floor. After all, a home is not a chicken coop, nor a monkey cage.
11)
Remember that the arms of chairs are not for sitting on and can be weakened by such.
12)
Mind you don't talk or laugh too loud because some people have sensitive hearing. And if someone has difficulty hearing, talk slowly, clearly, and at a volume more suited to their need. Ask.
13)
Don’t wait for someone to say, “Come and visit,” but ask if you can, lest they think that you’re not interested in visiting them.
14)
Restrain your dog so that it doesn’t run at or jump all over visitors, or those you pass when out walking. If you've a dog, and you invite visitors for a meal, don't pat your dog and prepare or serve food without washing your hands (for their sake, that is. You may not be worried, but be respectful of their thoughts on the matter, which you may not know). Always have a seperate towel for visitors too.
And by the way, a dog's life is only as good as its owner. Thus should you mistreat your pet, much it will say of you.
15)
If your cell phone rings when you’re in the middle of a conversation, either kill the ringing or ask those who you’re conversing with if they would mind if you take the call. And don't be long. They'll probably say that that's okay, but it’s even more thoughtful and preferable when you tell the caller that you’ll ring them back.
16)
If you agree to meet someone at a certain time, or tell someone that you'll get back to them by a certain time, make sure that you do.
17)
Though spitting is a disagreeable habit, if you feel you have to spit for some legitimate reason, don't do it where it can be seen, nor where it's an obvious health hazard. Likewise with chewing gum: Keep your mouth closed while chewing it and dispose of it thoughtfully and healthily.
18)
If you pass someone you know who's chatting to someone else, just say a quick "Hello" and continue on rather than breaking up their conversation, and lest it annoy one or both of them.
19)
If you have to sneeze, don't sneeze into your hand, nor right by others, food, chattels or towels. Always keep a hanky or tissue in your pocket.
20)
If you're at the checkout in a supermarket with a loaded trolly, and someone behind you only has two items, say, let them go first.
21)
Hold back rather than hurrying onto a crossing lest you force cars to quickly brake, or cause just a single car or two to pointlessly stop. The latter different if it's raining, perhaps.
22)
If you have been invited to someone's place for a meal, and their custom is to use both knife and fork, when in Rome do as the Roman's do, thus showing respect.
23)
If you're really too busy to respond to emails from someone, let them know that, or that you won't always be able to respond, rather than not emailing them back, or not bothering to respond at some stage.
24)
If someone leaves a message on your answer machine, make sure that you get back to them as soon as possible.
25)
If you visit someone in their home who's a Christian, show respect by refraining from swearing and not wearing the likes of a T-shirt that has an image (or words) that may offend them. This can apply to other religions too.
26)
When someone loans you a book to read, make sure that you get onto it and get it back to them as soon as possible. Such is showing thoughtfulness given that it was not only good of them to think of you, but that it is their property after all. There’s no bigger insult to them, when, after they say to you, “Have you read that book yet?" you say, “No, I haven’t had time.” So don’t hang onto it for months. If you can't get onto it quickly and get it back to them in good time, best you turn the book down.
27)
If someone offers you a lift in their car, don’t slam the door as you get in. Such is not only thoughtless, but bad for door catches. Mind your shoes aren't muddy, nor tar spotted, and don’t go opening a window or eating something without checking first.
28)
If you want to visit someone, don’t turn up on or near a meal time. Such not only can give the impression that you’re hoping they’ll ask you to join them for lunch or whatever, but makes them feel they’d better, and such they may resent underneath, especially if it doesn't really suit.
29)
When you visit someone in hospital, don’t stay too long (unless they really want such), because not only can hospital patients find such tiring, but how many other visitors have they had? And them asking all the same questions!
30)
If someone helps you out in some way (minds your child for an hour or two, say), don't just take such for granted, as it were, but show your gratitude by some thoughful response. And most certainly where they help you out more than once.
31)
If you wish to visit someone, ring them first lest you call at an inconvenient time (they acting pleasant whilst agitated underneath and hoping that you won't be too long, which surely isn't the way you'd want it).
32)
If you want to have a party, show your neighbours that you're a person who thinks of others. Let them know when the party will be. Mind that the party dosen't go too late, that such parties aren't too often, and that any music isn't too loud. Back off that thumping bass too. And this in general, by the way, loud and thumping music having caused no end of trouble in neighbourhoods. I feel sorry for young children and pets in such homes.
33)
When giving someone a lift in your car, don't freak them out or put them at risk in any way (driving too fast, too close, or under the influence of anything), and minding that volume on your radio, whether any open windows may bother, and so on.
34)
If you own or are renting a flat or house, keep it clean and tidy inside and out. When you don't, it suggests the following:
That you don't really appreciate what you have, or don't really care about what belongs to someone else.
That you don't take pride in your surroundings.
That you're not very responsible.
That you don't care about how your neighbours feel, nor your guests.
That you're rough.
That you're lacking prudence.
35)
Restrain your children from booting or batting balls around your section lest those potential missiles go through a neighbour's window sending glass into someone's face with all the horrific consequences.
36)
Mind you don't jiggle your foot up and down or back and forth when in company, because such suggests boredom or impatience and may offend.
37)
If you're a tradesman, don't automatically assume that it's okay to play your boom box while working on someone's property or house. Ask them if they mind, because many do, their quality of life affected, that music interfering with their pleasures, and your music possibly not to their liking. Also mind that you don't spread your tools over their stove or sink.
38)
When you drive out of a driveway, where due to high fences, you can't see any pedestrians, bike riders, scooter or skateboard users, stop, toot and inch your way out, and never backing out. This way you not only prevent possible damage to your car but prevent possible injury to those who might well be going too fast to stop (and hey, who on a noisy skateboard can hear a quiet car?). And then there are those who're deaf.
39)
Always respect someone else's right to their opinion. If you don't like it, you don't have to accept it, but at least let them have their say without you responding poorly.
Added to, or tweaked, on 11 November 2022.
So what makes the difference between those that I (and many others) would or wouldn't invite home?
In a nutshell: Upbringing.
At the end of the day, it largely comes down to TRAINING, which should start very early in a child's life. It's been said that the first word a baby learns to say is "No," which isn't too far off the mark.
A little story:
I read about a few orphaned, adolescent bull elephants at a national park that had been on a rampage killing rhinos, uprooting trees, and upsetting other animals-cum-making a real nuisance of themselves.
Despite the attempts of park rangers to figure out why and bring a stop to such behaviour, the problem just continued on until they brought in a number of older bull elephants that modelled acceptable elephant etiquette.
What was learned from this, was that the orphaned, adolescent bull elephants had missed out on the example (training) of the normal elephant group. In other words, they having had no mature role models.
This is where parents come in, and why the early years are so critical.
When children don’t have that secure sense of belonging, nor good role models to follow, they're not likely to behave well either, nor display acceptable human etiquette.
“The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home.”
Confucius (551 BC-479 BC)
"A good example has twice the value of good advice."
Author unknown
"Today's parent shapes tomorrow's child."
The poet, author
"What's planted in the child determines the adult."
The poet, author
"Manners will become important to children only if they are important to their parents."
Thomas Lickona
“A child who is allowed to be disrespectful to his parents will not have true respect for anyone.”
Billy Graham
“A man’s manners are a mirror in which he shows his portrait.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)
And all why the Good Word also says:
"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it"
(Prov 22:6, RSV).
Confucius (551 BC-479 BC)
"A good example has twice the value of good advice."
Author unknown
"Today's parent shapes tomorrow's child."
The poet, author
"What's planted in the child determines the adult."
The poet, author
"Manners will become important to children only if they are important to their parents."
Thomas Lickona
“A child who is allowed to be disrespectful to his parents will not have true respect for anyone.”
Billy Graham
“A man’s manners are a mirror in which he shows his portrait.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)
And all why the Good Word also says:
"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it"
(Prov 22:6, RSV).
Things You Should've Been Taught:
"Wisdom says and sense
does."
The poet, author
"Ethics is knowing the difference between what you have a right to do and what is right to do."
Potter Stewart
The poet, author
"Ethics is knowing the difference between what you have a right to do and what is right to do."
Potter Stewart
1)
Don’t visit, shake hands, or hug someone when you’ve got a cold or the flue, nor attend the likes of unimportant meetings or social gatherings. Hopefully, Covid 19 has taught us something.
2)
If you call on someone, don’t continue talking at their open front or back door when they’re trying to keep their house warm.
3)
When visiting someone, don’t help yourself to their things without asking first, nor just wander through their home, and bear in mind that some people are very fussy when it comes to their things (perhaps because they've had to struggle to get what they have and can't afford repairs or replacements).
4)
When visiting someone, remember that in their home their rules apply. If you don’t like those rules, don’t visit, but if you have to call in on people, make sure that you keep those rules. And should you take your children with you, make sure that they behave and not upset, which surely would be the case if they’ve been raised correctly — in other words, been disciplined at home and taught thoughtfulness. If your children are allowed to jump all over the furniture at home, say, they'll think that it's alright to do the very same thing at someone else's house.
5)
Wipe your shoes on a mat provided or take them off before entering someone’s home.
6)
Wash your hands before handling food, before a meal, after attending the toilet, and after using your cell phone should it ring during a meal, and also if you need to blow your nose. And don't put dirty things on someone's clean tablecloth meant for food only (cell phones and notebooks for example).
7)
Don’t talk when you’ve food in your mouth, don't eat with your mouth open, don't pick at your teeth, don't lick your fingers, don't lick your knife, nor use that same main meal knife to butter your bread, say.
8)
Don’t use the spoon or fork that you’ve been eating off to help yourself to more of something that’s been provided for others to use too. Such is not only unhealthy but disgusting.
9)
If you can’t brush your teeth after a meal, remove any food that’s clinging to your front teeth, as such can be rather off-putting.
10)
If you drop food or crumbs on the floor, sweep them up straight away. Likewise, if you've left hairs on the bathroon floor. After all, a home is not a chicken coop, nor a monkey cage.
11)
Remember that the arms of chairs are not for sitting on and can be weakened by such.
12)
Mind you don't talk or laugh too loud because some people have sensitive hearing. And if someone has difficulty hearing, talk slowly, clearly, and at a volume more suited to their need. Ask.
13)
Don’t wait for someone to say, “Come and visit,” but ask if you can, lest they think that you’re not interested in visiting them.
14)
Restrain your dog so that it doesn’t run at or jump all over visitors, or those you pass when out walking. If you've a dog, and you invite visitors for a meal, don't pat your dog and prepare or serve food without washing your hands (for their sake, that is. You may not be worried, but be respectful of their thoughts on the matter, which you may not know). Always have a seperate towel for visitors too.
And by the way, a dog's life is only as good as its owner. Thus should you mistreat your pet, much it will say of you.
15)
If your cell phone rings when you’re in the middle of a conversation, either kill the ringing or ask those who you’re conversing with if they would mind if you take the call. And don't be long. They'll probably say that that's okay, but it’s even more thoughtful and preferable when you tell the caller that you’ll ring them back.
16)
If you agree to meet someone at a certain time, or tell someone that you'll get back to them by a certain time, make sure that you do.
17)
Though spitting is a disagreeable habit, if you feel you have to spit for some legitimate reason, don't do it where it can be seen, nor where it's an obvious health hazard. Likewise with chewing gum: Keep your mouth closed while chewing it and dispose of it thoughtfully and healthily.
18)
If you pass someone you know who's chatting to someone else, just say a quick "Hello" and continue on rather than breaking up their conversation, and lest it annoy one or both of them.
19)
If you have to sneeze, don't sneeze into your hand, nor right by others, food, chattels or towels. Always keep a hanky or tissue in your pocket.
20)
If you're at the checkout in a supermarket with a loaded trolly, and someone behind you only has two items, say, let them go first.
21)
Hold back rather than hurrying onto a crossing lest you force cars to quickly brake, or cause just a single car or two to pointlessly stop. The latter different if it's raining, perhaps.
22)
If you have been invited to someone's place for a meal, and their custom is to use both knife and fork, when in Rome do as the Roman's do, thus showing respect.
23)
If you're really too busy to respond to emails from someone, let them know that, or that you won't always be able to respond, rather than not emailing them back, or not bothering to respond at some stage.
24)
If someone leaves a message on your answer machine, make sure that you get back to them as soon as possible.
25)
If you visit someone in their home who's a Christian, show respect by refraining from swearing and not wearing the likes of a T-shirt that has an image (or words) that may offend them. This can apply to other religions too.
26)
When someone loans you a book to read, make sure that you get onto it and get it back to them as soon as possible. Such is showing thoughtfulness given that it was not only good of them to think of you, but that it is their property after all. There’s no bigger insult to them, when, after they say to you, “Have you read that book yet?" you say, “No, I haven’t had time.” So don’t hang onto it for months. If you can't get onto it quickly and get it back to them in good time, best you turn the book down.
27)
If someone offers you a lift in their car, don’t slam the door as you get in. Such is not only thoughtless, but bad for door catches. Mind your shoes aren't muddy, nor tar spotted, and don’t go opening a window or eating something without checking first.
28)
If you want to visit someone, don’t turn up on or near a meal time. Such not only can give the impression that you’re hoping they’ll ask you to join them for lunch or whatever, but makes them feel they’d better, and such they may resent underneath, especially if it doesn't really suit.
29)
When you visit someone in hospital, don’t stay too long (unless they really want such), because not only can hospital patients find such tiring, but how many other visitors have they had? And them asking all the same questions!
30)
If someone helps you out in some way (minds your child for an hour or two, say), don't just take such for granted, as it were, but show your gratitude by some thoughful response. And most certainly where they help you out more than once.
31)
If you wish to visit someone, ring them first lest you call at an inconvenient time (they acting pleasant whilst agitated underneath and hoping that you won't be too long, which surely isn't the way you'd want it).
32)
If you want to have a party, show your neighbours that you're a person who thinks of others. Let them know when the party will be. Mind that the party dosen't go too late, that such parties aren't too often, and that any music isn't too loud. Back off that thumping bass too. And this in general, by the way, loud and thumping music having caused no end of trouble in neighbourhoods. I feel sorry for young children and pets in such homes.
33)
When giving someone a lift in your car, don't freak them out or put them at risk in any way (driving too fast, too close, or under the influence of anything), and minding that volume on your radio, whether any open windows may bother, and so on.
34)
If you own or are renting a flat or house, keep it clean and tidy inside and out. When you don't, it suggests the following:
That you don't really appreciate what you have, or don't really care about what belongs to someone else.
That you don't take pride in your surroundings.
That you're not very responsible.
That you don't care about how your neighbours feel, nor your guests.
That you're rough.
That you're lacking prudence.
35)
Restrain your children from booting or batting balls around your section lest those potential missiles go through a neighbour's window sending glass into someone's face with all the horrific consequences.
36)
Mind you don't jiggle your foot up and down or back and forth when in company, because such suggests boredom or impatience and may offend.
37)
If you're a tradesman, don't automatically assume that it's okay to play your boom box while working on someone's property or house. Ask them if they mind, because many do, their quality of life affected, that music interfering with their pleasures, and your music possibly not to their liking. Also mind that you don't spread your tools over their stove or sink.
38)
When you drive out of a driveway, where due to high fences, you can't see any pedestrians, bike riders, scooter or skateboard users, stop, toot and inch your way out, and never backing out. This way you not only prevent possible damage to your car but prevent possible injury to those who might well be going too fast to stop (and hey, who on a noisy skateboard can hear a quiet car?). And then there are those who're deaf.
39)
Always respect someone else's right to their opinion. If you don't like it, you don't have to accept it, but at least let them have their say without you responding poorly.
Added to, or tweaked, on 11 November 2022.
What some people might like to place
on a wall in their home:
OUR PLACE IS OUR PLACE, SO
PLEASE DON'T TREAT IT LIKE YOUR
PLACE,
UNLESS YOU'RE AS PARTICULAR AS WE ARE.
OUR FUSSINESS IS HOW WE SHOW OUR GRATEFULNESS FOR WHAT WE HAVE.
IT ALSO SAVES US MONEY THAT WE CAN'T AFFORD TO SPEND,
LEAVES OUR THINGS WORTHY OF PASSING ON SO THAT OTHERS MAY BENEFIT,
AND SETS AN EXAMPLE FOR ONES CHILDREN TO FOLLOW.
When your parents have advised you to discipline your children, and you haven't, or barely so, why should they
be subjected to that naughtiness when being visited? And why should you be offended by their disapointment or anoyance given its their grandchildren, of whom they should be able to take pride in. Your parent's home is their
home, and their rules are their rules, and your children should've been trained to adapt to different settings.
"Where softer words and gentle ways are not heeded, louder words
and firmer ways are often needed."
The poet, author
The following are rather old poems of mine that I decided I would
place on this page too given that they speak on the same subject.
Conversations.
1.
Conversations
There is something that I would like to say that I feel I need to mention,
And that is, when someone’s talking to you, please give them your full attention.
Why? Because what someone is saying to you may mean a great deal to them,
And thus insensitive inattention here, one could rightfully condemn.
You see, when we don't give our full attention to whatever is being said,
It can leave the other person feeling hurt, bothered, even seeing red,
'Cause such simply conveys disinterest, or shows a lack of thought and care,
Which leaves them feeling that you haven’t heard all that they wanted you to hear.
Therefore, don’t let your eyes wander from anyone who is speaking to you,
And don’t let yourself become distracted by anything around you too,
And don’t go fidgeting with things — yes, leave off whatever you were doing,
Otherwise, such insensitive behaviour, they’ll soon be misconstruing.
While they're there, leave your house phone off the hook, or tell your callers to ring back,
And switch that annoying cell phone off as well, lest that moment it attack,
And should anyone call in to see you, let them know that this time’s not right,
Lest your inattention, or any distraction, someone's time with you blight.
Far too often these days, people aren’t shown the courtesy that they are due
Regarding any one on one conversation that they've sought to pursue.
Yes, far too frequently, a conversation is halted or interrupted,
In other words, seriously inhibited or thoughtlessly disrupted.
Even though everyone should know better than to interrupt a chat,
Such frequently seems to happen, and when we let such, things often go flat.
Yes, even though people should know better, they still let things get in the way,
Thus leaving some person who wants to chat heaving and sighing with dismay.
Hence why we should be much more thoughtful regarding any conversation,
Lest it mean a lot to that person, who, is due such consideration.
And let us watch for those warning signs that may very well show frustration,
'Cause there are times when folk have good reason for feeling some agitation.
By Lance Landall
Passing on bugs.
Please don’t shake another person's hand should it be that you've contracted the flu,
Or if you have come down with a cold, 'cause such wouldn't be a fair thing to do.
Yes, spare some thought for those people that you greet, and refrain from shaking their hands,
'Cause shaking another person's hand when poorly, a cold or the flu simply fans.
Many poorly people will greet another by proceeding to shake their hands,
Which, sad to say, sooner or later, that unfortunate person in bed lands.
If only they had kindly warned those people that they had a cold or the flu,
Then some of those that they thoughtlessly shook hands with, may not have suffered such too.
Far to often, it seems, someone will greet you, and then extend their hand to you,
Only informing you after having done so that they’ve a cold or the flu.
And that is when you inwardly groan, 'cause you know that there’s a very good chance
That their cold or their influenza, soon within your own body may advance.
And we've a right to be upset, 'cause so much misery viruses can cause
When some person, this very thing I've expressed here, very thoughtlessly ignores.
However, so many people just aren’t thinking when they've a cold or the flu,
Hence why they will still shake hands with you, when that is the last thing that they should do.
Therefore, the next time someone shakes your hand, and says that they’ve a cold or the flu,
Let them know that you are very unhappy that they've not shown due thought for you.
And should they inform you beforehand that they have a nasty cold or the flu,
Thank them for that, and tell them you won't shake their hands, lest their bug inside you brew.
Yes, it's time that we stopped this merry-go-round that’s just compounding misery,
Via those thoughtless and unnecessary handshakes that are seen too frequently.
Therefore, if you are suffering from a cold, or are suffering from the flu,
Remember that shaking another person's hand is not something you should do.
And, let me add, should you shake another’s hand when you have a cold or the flu,
Not only might that poor person suffer, but whoever that person meets too,
'Cause the next hand that they shake upon greeting might receive what they have just caught,
Which is why via this poem of mine (designed to spare), your attention I have sought.
Oh, by the way,
Before you prepare any food for another person to consume and enjoy,
Or, whenever you have just used the toilet, please some soap and water employ.
Otherwise, who knows what you may come down with, or what might be passed on via you
To some unfortunate person, who then, may well pass such onto others too.
Some people who are very unhygienic, do not appear to suffer ill,
But others that they have thoughtlessly infected, do not always fare as well.
Thus, it seems most unfair to me, that many suffer via such lack of hygiene,
That within our society, and even homes, far too regularly is seen.
Therefore, if you are a wise and truly thoughtful person, you will always be
Concerned about good hygiene, and others, and will thus act appropriately.
Yes, you’ll take any action that's needed in order to stop or minimize
Any nasty bacteria that a thoughtless lack of hygiene thus supplies.
By Lance Landall
Cell phones.
Light-hearted.
Something odd is going on that is occurring everywhere,
For people are holding a hand close to their right or left ear.
They appear to be talking, but to whom, I have no idea,
For there is nobody in range that their mutterings can hear.
Some get quite animated, and some folk raise their voice as well,
In fact, some folk even yell, or chat away for quite a spell.
But to whom’s a mystery, for there’s nobody around,
Which seems to beg the question, “Are these people really quite sound?”
Is their ear giving trouble, could it be that they’re in pain?
Have they been given a clout, suffered injury to the brain?
Perhaps they have an earache, or there is something in their ear.
Yes, there could well be some insect that's dancing around in there.
But when you try to talk to them, to enquire if they’re alright,
They’re inclined to glare at you, turn away, act impolite.
You’re only trying to help, but it seems that that’s a mistake,
For they act like they’re upset, and vigorously, their head shake.
Sometimes when you approach them, they look puzzled, and shake their head,
Or they act like they’ve not heard you, nor understood what you’ve said.
Most don’t stop what they’re doing, as if their hand and head are glued,
And you’re left with that feeling that you have acted somewhat rude.
Yes, they have something in their hand that is pressed against their head,
And I don’t think it’s a bandage, although sometimes it glows red.
Occasionally this object is pulled away from their ear,
But only to be looked at, stabbed at, and then be placed back there.
It really has me puzzled why these folk act this way they do,
And the odd thing about it all, is, that all-sorts do it too.
I really can’t help feeling that there is something most askew
About this thing that they’re doing, which seems cell-y, phoney too.
By Lance Landall
"The nasal obsession with cell phones has led to injury, deaths, loss of productivity,
rudeness, detachment and strained relationships."
The poet, author
Cell phones.
Those cell phone calls that abruptly end conversations can annoy,
And some moments that should never be interrupted can destroy.
Thus it’s time that those who're bothered by such, protested assertively,
And it's time that receivers of such calls acted more thoughtfully.
And as for those ring tones, most are another aggravation,
Such often loud, jarring, infantile — not worthy of toleration.
Yes, more noise pollution that assaults the ear, delivers a blow,
Thereby causing one to grimace, turn away, and exclaim, “Oh, no!”
And even more so when they erupt within a church (a no-no),
'Cause a total lack of respect and reverence such goes to show.
Yes, a church is no place for cell phones, nor many ring tones one hears,
That distract the speakers and listeners, and that interrupt prayers.
And you know,
One purpose of cell phones is for contacting someone urgently,
And another's for contacting someone wherever they may be.
But often one can’t 'cause their cell phone's in their car, needs charging, or
There’s some other reason which sees some stewing and pacing the floor.
Despite all those brain tumour warnings, they’re seldom away from ears,
Most seemingly unconcerned, and shouting too, thus everyone hears.
Though people don't need to shout, it seems that most think that they have to,
Be those people in a hospital, library, or in some queue.
Yes, all those cell phone users should show some manners — etiquette — and
Where it is needed, more should state their disapproval, make a stand,
'Cause tolerating such poor behaviour simply aids and abets,
And thereby a precedent for more inconsiderateness sets.
An example, you ask? Emails! 'Cause here, thoughtlessness prevails too,
Given that some just don’t reply, or take ages to get back to you.
Courtesy always goes a long way, and here, it should be seen too,
Lest a business deal, an appointment, or some friendship, go askew.
If you’re busy, tell people, and that you’ll get back to them, and,
Make sure you do, 'cause saying and not doing, most people can’t stand.
Yes, don’t get people wondering, nor leave them hanging in the air,
But rather, act more thoughtfully, acknowledge them, thus acting fair.
Even answer phones are often abused (hidden behind, as it were),
Some messages not being answered, which suspicion or upset can stir.
And sometimes all one ever seems to get is someone’s answer phone,
Or an ear piecing fax machine that injures ears and sees one groan.
Yes, it’s purely a people problem, so don’t blame technology,
'Cause it’s simply how, when and where such is used, inevitably.
All of which something that's positive or negative will convey,
And which those at the receiving end will either delight or dismay.
By Lance Landall
This poem was upgraded on 17 February 2022.
"When kids traded in their flip phones for smartphones and got onto social media, particularly
Instagram and Snapchat, we began to see a collapse in teenage girls' mental health all across
the English-speaking world,"
Zach Rausch.
Unrestrained dogs.
I, like you, perhaps, am fond of dogs (even though I do not have one),
'Cause they’re lovely pets, great company, even protective, lots of fun.
But unless they’re well trained, and their owners thoughtful, dogs can cause upset;
In other words, irritate or frighten others, who’ll resent your pet.
So, when people visit, keep your dog away from them (unless they don’t mind),
'Cause such is the behaviour of owners who’re more thoughtful and refined.
They don't let their dog rush the door, jump all over people, bark away,
'Cause they’re owners who have good manners, and disciplined pets that obey.
Should they visit someone, they keep their dog in their car, or leave it at home,
Not letting their uninvited pet unceremoniously roam,
Nor letting it leave little parcels scattered over one’s property
(And nor for that matter, up and down streets, fouling one’s town or city).
Such owners are well aware that some aren’t keen on dogs and will shy away,
So they act appropriately, sensitively, and keep their dog at bay.
And when it comes to hygiene, they don’t stroke their pet and then handle food,
'Cause they’re well aware of the health risks, and also have the right attitude.
Yes, I’m fond of dogs, but they've their time and place, which owners need to face,
And, let me add, dogs shouldn’t be selfishly confined to some little space.
By selfish I mean, for one’s gratification, 'cause dogs one shouldn’t own
If most of the day they’re claustrophobically confined, left alone.
Far too many who don’t have the time or space that’s required for such pets
Thoughtlessly purchase one, and wonder why its constant barking upsets.
Such is irresponsible and cruel, and genuine love doesn’t display,
'Cause if they truly cared, they’d go without, rather than treat a dog that way.
So mind that dog lest you cause upset, or cause misery for your pet,
And you, an unpleasant reaction from someone invariably get.
And when it comes to hygiene, bear such in mind also, otherwise
Injurious consequences for both you and others may arise.
By Lance Landall
This poem was upgraded on 17 February 2022.
Interrupting conversations.
Someone greets you, or you greet them, and you both stand and chat,
Then, during that conversation, things suddenly go flat.
Someone else has come by, they greeting who you’re talking to,
And a new conversation has proceeded without you.
Or maybe you’re included in this new conversation,
But you’re still far from happy you’ve had this visitation.
However, you bear with it, though wishing that it weren’t so,
And feel guilty that you’re hoping they will very soon go.
All should approach with care those having a conversation,
Lest they act somewhat rudely and cause some irritation.
Who knows whether it’s private, and how much that chat might mean
To either of those chatting when we chance upon that scene.
Unless it's very clear that they’re welcoming us their way,
We shouldn’t interrupt them lest their chatting go astray.
Just give them a quick greeting, and then continue walking,
'Cause we shouldn’t try to join two people who are talking.
And those who're busy chatting should sometimes gently convey
That our greeting them is fine if we don’t intend to stay.
But if we act correctly, they won’t need to say a thing,
'Cause we'll simply greet them and then thoughtfully elsewhere swing.
Perhaps one of those greeted might be happy if we stay,
But what about the other? Do they also feel that way?
And hence that need of prudence when we see people talking,
And why it's better to say “Hi” and continue walking.
Yes, a little thought’s needed in case we disturb a chat,
As either of those we greet may not appreciate that.
Imagine how you might feel if such a visitation
Spoilt or put an end to your own deep conversation.
By Lance Landall
This poem was upgraded on 17 February 2022.
Promises.
“I’ll be there at three o’clock,” or at least that is what they say,
But when three o’clock comes around, there is reason for dismay.
'Cause they either haven’t turned up or are running very late,
And you hear all those excuses that you tolerate but hate.
If we are unreliable, who will take us at our word?
'Cause some adverse thing about us may very well soon be heard.
Our “Yes” should always mean “Yes,” and our “No” should always mean “No,”
Otherwise, just seeds of distrust in another’s mind will grow.
Yes, so many turn up late, or they don’t turn up as stated,
Causing others much frustration who quite some time have waited.
If we say that we will be there at a certain time or place,
Our lateness, or non-appearance, others shouldn’t have to face.
We've effectively misled if we haven't done as we said,
Not deliberately, I hope, but indirectly we've misled,
'Cause we clearly broke a promise, as we stated as a fact
Something that we said we would do, that our actions never backed.
Sometimes others are left thinking they’ve been wrongly misled,
When something beyond our control stops us doing what we’ve said.
And even when we tell them it was no fault of our own,
Some still remain most unhappy and strongly complain or groan.
However, whenever such happens, at least our conscience is clear,
'Cause we haven't acted wrongly, and no culpability share.
But though unforeseen things can happen, we must still take great care,
Lest it seem we’re unconcerned, and doubts in someone's mind appear.
It doesn’t say a lot for us when we say and then don’t do,
Or if we act in a way that somebody can misconstrue.
So let us all take more care, and make sure that we keep our word,
Lest any promises we break, amongst others soon be heard.
By Lance Landall
This poem was upgraded on 17 February 2022.
Intimacy in public.
A love that is truly selfless, thoughtful and genuine,
Will always exercise maturity and discipline.
It won’t indulge in sexual activity publicly,
And it won’t display affection inappropriately.
It can wait, and it does, not acting embarrassingly,
Nor making others feel bad (who love wise, mightn't be lucky).
Yes, love that is truly selfless, thoughtful and genuine
Is more focused on the heart and mind rather than the skin.
It isn’t hung up on sex, and leaves dignity intact,
Choosing not to reduce sex to just an animal act.
It keeps such in the bedroom — yes, smooching and kissing too,
And can wait until marriage where such it doesn’t overdo.
Like everything, there’s a time and place, and so there should be,
And much more so when it comes to acting intimately.
After all, intimacy’s exactly that, intimacy,
Which it somewhat ceases to be when displayed publicly.
A parting kiss that doesn’t linger is acceptable,
And a cuddle too that’s just as brief won’t do any ill.
But going beyond that publicly may offend, upset,
And particularly those who same attention don’t get.
Personally, I’m all for affection, and such pursue,
But even affection, in public, one shouldn’t overdo.
That is, the intimate kind, that boy and girl carry-on,
Which has a habit of turning into a marathon.
Yes, a love that is truly selfless, thoughtful and genuine,
Will always exercise maturity and discipline.
It puts self last, others first, and unlike lust, shows control
Both publicly and privately, 'cause what’s best is its goal.
By Lance Landall
Breast feeding in public.
A woman's breasts don’t just feed a baby, 'cause they turn men on as well,
As they’re also a sexual organ — thus, two functions they fulfil.
And therefore, discretion should be used when baby's feed-time comes around,
'Cause such discretion would be behaving more considerate and sound.
Yes, nobody can escape the fact (no matter how hard they may try)
That a bare breast in public will very quickly attract a male’s eye,
'Cause such is the way a man’s designed, and why it’s only natural
That when confronted with a bare breast, a man will feel a certain pull.
And it’s the same with low cut tops that so many women choose to wear,
Hence why it's hardly any wonder that at their breasts a man will stare.
And let's face it, women know very well that such tops will draw men’s eyes,
Which is why they’re so often worn to titillatingly advertise.
However, these low cut tops (some very) that unfairly taunt and tease,
Can also draw the evil interest of some men who would not please.
And likewise a feeding breast too that's exposed for everyone to see,
And hence why there's a need for care, lest it stir one who’s predatory.
But there are also many men out there who will openly attest
That they can feel extremely embarrassed by a publicly bared breast.
Yes, it can make them feel most uneasy when women publicly bare
What only their husband should see, delight in, and intimately share.
Admittedly, breastfeeding in public is sometimes necessary,
And also quite acceptable when it is done very tastefully.
After all, circumstances may require that a little one be fed
Where there's a male present, and where a child's far from their own home and bed.
Therefore, whenever a baby is fed, a woman should take great care,
Lest she embarrass and upset someone, or cause wrong desire to flare.
A little more thought and feeling such a predicament could soon ease,
So, where there are men (I say to mothers), a little discretion please.
By Lance Landall
This poem was upgraded on 17 February 2022.
Chewing gum.
I can't help feeling that this poem I’ve penned is very needed,
And thus am sincerely hoping that its contents will be heeded.
You see, it’s all about that chewing gum that many are chewing,
A pointless practice that I believe chewers should be reviewing.
Why? 'Cause our poor jaws were never meant to be constantly chewing,
And why many later in life, such a habit might be ruing,
'Cause if any part of our body is needlessly overused,
There’s a very good chance that we'll suffer from its being abused.
But one thing that doesn't impress me is, the way this gum is chewed,
'Cause so many are chewing this gum in a way that’s very rude.
They're chewing it as they’re talking, which means that it is often seen,
Which can make others feel queasy, 'cause such isn’t a pleasant scene.
Chewing with one’s mouth open, and toying with off-putting contents,
Is a rather ill-mannered act that's quite likely to cause offence.
But be it chewing gum or some food, there's a right way and a wrong,
And there is also a time and place where neither of them belong.
Therefore, if you have food in your mouth, but suddenly need to talk,
Please put your hand over your mouth, lest that mulch seen, have others balk.
And whenever you're chewing gum, the very same thing you should do,
Or somehow tuck it away somewhere where it will be out of view.
And when you have finished chewing on that unpleasant looking gum,
Please don’t ever emulate that other unhealthy practice of some.
But rather, wrap it in a tissue, and in a rubbish bin place,
'Cause leaving it on the ground, or anywhere, is just a disgrace.
And watch out for arguments that encourage the chewing of gum,
Lest you swallow such nonsense wrongly propagated by some,
'Cause we’re hardly chewers of the cud, and more harm than good is done
When we are always chewing on what one would be better to shun.
By Lance Landall
This poem was upgraded on 17 February 2022.
Swearing.
In those days when I was a child, some mothers made it very clear,
That should we ever use foul language, soap would suddenly appear,
'Cause mouths that uttered such were deemed to be deserving of a wash,
Which would serve as a strong reminder and thus future swearing quash.
Well, since that time when I was a child, things have badly gone astray,
'Cause swearing is now pandemic and growing fouler every day.
It seems that there’s less resistance now to this language that degrades
The very one who’s swearing, and who a lack of control parades.
You see, no self-respecting person lowers them self by swearing,
And neither do they use such language within another’s hearing,
'Cause once obscene words are spoken, one’s integrity is destroyed,
Which is why self-respecting people such obscenity avoid.
So much is conveyed to others by those things that we choose to say,
Or by certain words we utter, as both, the inner self display,
'Cause whenever foul words are used (that everybody should condemn),
They reflect a blemish in the mind of those who are using them.
Yes, such people simply display a level to which they have sunk,
And such can also covey that from polluted fountains they've drunk,
'Cause those sources that we draw from, and thus give entry to the brain,
Inevitably determine what inside our grey matter will reign.
There’s never any need of language that destroys integrity,
Or that offends another who considers such obscenity.
But if swearing doesn’t faze you, and foul words you’ll still rudely say,
At least show some thought for others, please, who don’t see things the same way.
It seems to me that soap and water wouldn’t go astray today,
Because never before have we heard such verbal moral decay.
It never brings anyone credit using language that’s obscene,
'Cause it shows a mind that’s sullied, and a mouth that soap needs to clean.
By Lance Landall
This poem was upgraded on 17 February 2022.
The following YouTube link was sent to me by the writer of the following
poem about swearing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAfCD_K_3b4
Crossing roads.
Far too often we see people who with lack of thought and care,
Just bowl out onto a crossing as if traffic isn’t there.
It seems some have an attitude, and perhaps they need a scare,
Otherwise, they may lose their life, or end up in a wheelchair.
Though every motorist should stop, they mightn’t have the time to,
Should you stride onto a crossing without the thought that is due.
And you might make them angry, perhaps any passenger too,
Should they be thrown about when the driver quickly brakes for you.
My saying this shouldn't come as a surprise, but the crossing isn’t yours,
It’s simply there to help you — so, before you cross, check and pause.
Don’t rush towards the crossing, but approach slowly and with care,
Patiently holding back, or better still, wait till the road’s clear.
Some people make a driver stop who’s the only one in sight,
For rather than let that car go by, they bowl out like they’ve a right.
Such is acting selfishly, and using crossings foolishly,
And it can hold someone up who’s late, and feeling crotchety.
Many people use a crossing as if they have got all day,
Thus acting inconsiderately, hence why glares come their way.
I guess that is why some drivers are not so inclined to stop,
And why folk who drag their feet, or bowl out, have some blow their top.
Some folk stride onto a crossing while texting on their cell phone,
Or while listening to a walkman that many also own.
But some just aren’t thinking, or have an attitude, I’m afraid,
Which longevity of life, in their case, certainly won't aid.
Yes, some folk don’t seem to realize the havoc that they can cause,
When they stride onto a crossing without checking or that pause.
And when a driver hits the brakes due to someone’s lack of thought,
There’s a good possibility someone’s life will be cut short.
By Lance Landall
Car driver doors.
Light-hearted.
I love to ride my push-bike, 'cause there’s so much I can see,
Sitting on my padded seat and pedaling merrily.
But I’m watchful of parked cars lest an open door appear,
That’ll quickly end my outing and rocket me through the air.
Such incidents can happen, and very frequently too,
Because so many drivers absent-mindedly such things do.
They fling their door wide open, which acts like a giant bat,
Halting innocent cyclists who invariably go splat.
There’s no time to ring a bell, or to tightly squeeze the brakes,
Hence one is quickly humbled, left nursing numerous aches.
’Though one scrambles to their feet to reduce humiliation,
Joints loath to co-operate present a complication.
There’s little time for greetings, nor for any pleasantry,
When one’s lying on a road, positioned most creatively.
And threats of more injury from juggernauts one can’t see,
Provide one with incentive to arise, albeit dizzily.
That is, of course, if one’s conscious, not counting little stars,
Or smiling to the chirping of joyful budgerigars.
And also if one’s body can heed signals from the brain,
That urgently are shouting, “Quickly! Staying here’s insane!”
The push bike one was riding now no longer looks the same,
It half the length and mangled, just a bicycle in name.
It now a thing of horror — likewise, that disfigured door,
That both cyclist and driver has left shaken and feeling sore.
Now such could be prevented if motorists checked to see
If there might be a cyclist approaching them silently.
A little more attention, and also a bit more thought,
Would save a lot more cyclists from aping an astronaut.
By Lance Landall
Visiting.
When someone comes to visit us, there are certain things that we expect,
Simply because when they are in our home, they should show us due respect.
After all, our home is our home, and in our home, our rules should apply,
Therefore, if you wish to visit us, it’s only right that you comply.
And likewise, when we are in your home, we should show due respect to you,
By behaving in a manner that is equally as thoughtful too.
After all, your home is your home, and in your home, your rules should apply,
Therefore, if we wish to visit you, it’s only right that we comply.
Just what do I mean by rules?
Please see that you’re not wearing what our standards and beliefs might offend,
Via any pictures or any writing that certain messages send.
For neither our faith nor our standards should receive such a knock from you
Whenever you come to visit us by request, or out of the blue.
And if you've been invited for dinner?
When you’re told that dinner is ready, we will ask you to wash your hands,
Lest it be that some very nasty germ on our table or food lands.
Besides, washing our hands before we eat, displays wisdom, thought and care,
And such is needed far more so, when with other folk, a meal we share.
Please don’t go checking your cell phone when you're sitting at the table too,
For checking germy cell phones is another thing that one shouldn't do.
Nor should you blow your nose there, but if you do, straightaway you must go
To wherever there is soap and water, and thereby, thoughtfulness show.
And please keep your mouth tightly closed when you've placed any food within it,
Thereby refraining from conversing lest a rather sore point you hit.
For eating with your mouth open, or talking while you are chewing food,
Will undoubtedly upset us, as such is certainly very rude.
Please don’t swear in our presence either, nor indulge in some crudity,
And please treat with due thought and care our possessions and our property.
Leave any dirty old shoes outside, and wipe your clean shoes on the mat,
And please mind what you're saying in general, when with us you freely chat.
How we act when we're in someone’s home, and how we treat visitors too,
Will most definitely convey a great deal about you-know-who.
As well as, will you be invited back, will folk revisit your home?
Which is why we should always tread with care, and remember: “When In Rome…”
Oh, by the way,
If by some chance you have a cold, friend, or you have come down with the flu,
Please don't call on us until such is past, or your visit we may rue.
Wait until you are over it, because it would be very unfair
To visit us when you're poorly, and a bug or virus with us share.
Those things that many of us grew up with, that help us act correctly,
Are things that every generation should continue, and cheerfully.
Oh yes, good manners should never die, and nor should acting thoughtfully,
For when all is said and done, they're one and the same thing, obviously.
By Lance Landall
Instil in your child not only respect for others (and indeed all living things), but the preciousness of human life.
Teach your child to view any kind of violence or abuse with contempt.
Help your child to take pride in them self.
Cultivate in your child an open, enquiring mind.
Teach your child to be lawful and to show due respect to authority figures (who, despite some misusing their position, are there for good reason).
Help your child discover the joy of giving, sharing and helping.
Give your child sound principles and standards to live by.
Teach your child that all are equal (regardless of rank, race or gender).
Help your child to remain the individual they are.
Teach your child to look for the best in everyone.
Help your child appreciate the differences in others.
Help your child reach their full potential.
Praise your child regularly and be generous with affection.
Help your child see the counter productiveness of selfishness and wrong doing.
Teach your child that looking after their health will not only lead to longevity and less pain, but that they’ll thereby be lesser a burden on others and will spare them self the embarrassment of certain medical procedures.
Cultivate in your child a desire for what’s wholesome, beautiful and beneficial.
Teach your child to be fair, patient, tolerant, impartial and compasionate.
Help your child to show thought and care for those who’re less fortunate in any way.
Help your child become self-sufficient but not afraid to ask for help.
Teach your child to be honest, transparent and a seeker of truth.
Teach your child to stand up for what they believe in, regardless of ridicule or loss.
Teach your child to keep promises and agreed times and places.
Teach your child the value of a good work ethic.
Help your child see the value in wisdom and sense.
Teach your child the thoughtfulness of etiqette.
Teach your child to think deeply, study well, and research widely.
Teach your child to look after things and to also respect what belongs to others.
Put in place certain boundaries that your child is not to cross without consequences.
Help your child realise that challenges are good for us, and that adversity handled well leads to growth.
Teach your son to be sensitive to a female's needs, and to also be protective of her.
Teach your daughter to be savvy regarding males who aren't as they seem, or who've selfish or ill intent.
And lastly, and above all, BE LOVE'S EXAMPLE.
Smacking — Child Abuse In Perspective:
love or incurring their resentment. This is a cruel deprivation that we professionals have imposed on mothers
and fathers. Of course we did it with the best of intentions. We didn't realize until it was too late how our
know-it-all atitude was undermining the self-assurance of parents."
CETF magazine, March 2009
If the bow’s drawn too tight in order to stop this or that, it creates an impossible world to live in, one where explosions are more likely to occur.
Such became the case when they made smacking illegal in New Zealand. It was my prediction that both child abuse and subsequent deaths would increase as a result, and such has proven more than true.
When you take away a parent's right to a short, sharp smack on the bottom (best begun very early), you remove that last resort that parents need. As a result, their frustration at a child not responding to other means can result in an explosion one day where the child gets badly hurt or killed.
Oh, so many frustrated mothers I see these days who feel unable to smack their paddy throwing child who’s nothing but an embarrassment and growing more unruly by the day. And so, there those mothers are, their child screaming, wailing or defiantly throwing him or herself to the ground in protest and refusing to budge.
When it comes to child abuse (or spouse abuse) we need to mind that we’re not taking things too far lest we actually worsen things. Argy-bargy (though not ideal) is a fact of life for many couples, and even confrontations with their children. And from which even a little physical jostling can occur.
Now don’t get me wrong here, because I’m not excusing any abuse, but simply saying that reporting shouldn’t become ridiculous. If a stressed father impatiently gives his cheeky son a bit of an on-your-way push in the direction of his bedroom, that’s hardly a crime even if that son might stumble a little midst his sulk and bump his head a little on the wallpaper. Such hardly premeditated, a far cry from a beating, and no doubt pretty commonplace.
So why bag such parents who no doubt aren't that happy about it themselves?
It kind of reminds me of those who think that introducing the death penalty will hold people back from committing murder. The truth is that many murders are not premeditated murders, but the result of some heated occurance. Laws won't stop these heated occurances and consequences, nor even many a premeditated murder.
We’ve bent over so far in order to stem the tide of child abuse that we’ve lost our balance, and I believe that this is why the behaviour of kids today has become worse (as biblically predicted too), because at the end of the day, there’s little left to install a healthy respect for authority now.
Just as we can’t expect perfection from children, we shouldn’t expect perfection from (stressed) parents, or even between couples.
As a result of getting too carried away, good parents are being tainted and charged with things that just shouldn’t get that far. Many hardly monsters but simply severely taxed sometimes by little monsters that both teachers and the police can do little to bring to heel either, given the over-the-top legislation.
Yes, spare the rod and spoil the child is as true today as it was before. Hence those dreadfully rude and rebellious children we’ve witnessed whose parents may be anti-smacking themselves, inconsistent, or too lazy, to be frank.
Imperfect world, imperfect means, and therefore much truth in the “got to be cruel to be kind” argument.
Yes, some parents have raised good kids without having resorted to smacking but such are an exception, and no doubt other factors were at play.
It’s my strong belief that most of the restless, overactive, grumpy, inattentive and naughty behaviour that’s coming from young children today is due to a lack of early childhood training and discipline, including that absent smacking so foolishly outlawed in certain countries, and courtesy of New Age gurus who far from being enlightened are seriously deluded.
As a consequence, far too much is being put down to the likes of attention deficit disorder or some other disorder that simply doesn't apply here, and the likes of sugar only playing a certain part.
Right from very young my six children were raised with appropriate smacks, boundaries and rules. Our success proven by the glowing comments that we often got for such well-behaved and polite children who clearly knew what would and wouldn’t be tolerated, or else.
All why our kids didn't play up when out, sat still and quiet when we visited people, didn't help themselves without asking, took their shoes off at the door, didn't jump on the furniture and so on.
Did I err in my disciplining at any time? Hey, I wouldn't be human if I hadn't, and why all parents err somehwere, sometime. But better to err than not discipline at all.
Boundaries and discipline give children a sense of security that shouts that they're loved and cared about.
UNLESS YOU'RE AS PARTICULAR AS WE ARE.
OUR FUSSINESS IS HOW WE SHOW OUR GRATEFULNESS FOR WHAT WE HAVE.
IT ALSO SAVES US MONEY THAT WE CAN'T AFFORD TO SPEND,
LEAVES OUR THINGS WORTHY OF PASSING ON SO THAT OTHERS MAY BENEFIT,
AND SETS AN EXAMPLE FOR ONES CHILDREN TO FOLLOW.
When your parents have advised you to discipline your children, and you haven't, or barely so, why should they
be subjected to that naughtiness when being visited? And why should you be offended by their disapointment or anoyance given its their grandchildren, of whom they should be able to take pride in. Your parent's home is their
home, and their rules are their rules, and your children should've been trained to adapt to different settings.
"Where softer words and gentle ways are not heeded, louder words
and firmer ways are often needed."
The poet, author
The following are rather old poems of mine that I decided I would
place on this page too given that they speak on the same subject.
Conversations.
1.
Conversations
There is something that I would like to say that I feel I need to mention,
And that is, when someone’s talking to you, please give them your full attention.
Why? Because what someone is saying to you may mean a great deal to them,
And thus insensitive inattention here, one could rightfully condemn.
You see, when we don't give our full attention to whatever is being said,
It can leave the other person feeling hurt, bothered, even seeing red,
'Cause such simply conveys disinterest, or shows a lack of thought and care,
Which leaves them feeling that you haven’t heard all that they wanted you to hear.
Therefore, don’t let your eyes wander from anyone who is speaking to you,
And don’t let yourself become distracted by anything around you too,
And don’t go fidgeting with things — yes, leave off whatever you were doing,
Otherwise, such insensitive behaviour, they’ll soon be misconstruing.
While they're there, leave your house phone off the hook, or tell your callers to ring back,
And switch that annoying cell phone off as well, lest that moment it attack,
And should anyone call in to see you, let them know that this time’s not right,
Lest your inattention, or any distraction, someone's time with you blight.
Far too often these days, people aren’t shown the courtesy that they are due
Regarding any one on one conversation that they've sought to pursue.
Yes, far too frequently, a conversation is halted or interrupted,
In other words, seriously inhibited or thoughtlessly disrupted.
Even though everyone should know better than to interrupt a chat,
Such frequently seems to happen, and when we let such, things often go flat.
Yes, even though people should know better, they still let things get in the way,
Thus leaving some person who wants to chat heaving and sighing with dismay.
Hence why we should be much more thoughtful regarding any conversation,
Lest it mean a lot to that person, who, is due such consideration.
And let us watch for those warning signs that may very well show frustration,
'Cause there are times when folk have good reason for feeling some agitation.
By Lance Landall
Passing on bugs.
2. The Thoughtless Handshake
Please don’t shake another person's hand should it be that you've contracted the flu,
Or if you have come down with a cold, 'cause such wouldn't be a fair thing to do.
Yes, spare some thought for those people that you greet, and refrain from shaking their hands,
'Cause shaking another person's hand when poorly, a cold or the flu simply fans.
Many poorly people will greet another by proceeding to shake their hands,
Which, sad to say, sooner or later, that unfortunate person in bed lands.
If only they had kindly warned those people that they had a cold or the flu,
Then some of those that they thoughtlessly shook hands with, may not have suffered such too.
Far to often, it seems, someone will greet you, and then extend their hand to you,
Only informing you after having done so that they’ve a cold or the flu.
And that is when you inwardly groan, 'cause you know that there’s a very good chance
That their cold or their influenza, soon within your own body may advance.
And we've a right to be upset, 'cause so much misery viruses can cause
When some person, this very thing I've expressed here, very thoughtlessly ignores.
However, so many people just aren’t thinking when they've a cold or the flu,
Hence why they will still shake hands with you, when that is the last thing that they should do.
Therefore, the next time someone shakes your hand, and says that they’ve a cold or the flu,
Let them know that you are very unhappy that they've not shown due thought for you.
And should they inform you beforehand that they have a nasty cold or the flu,
Thank them for that, and tell them you won't shake their hands, lest their bug inside you brew.
Yes, it's time that we stopped this merry-go-round that’s just compounding misery,
Via those thoughtless and unnecessary handshakes that are seen too frequently.
Therefore, if you are suffering from a cold, or are suffering from the flu,
Remember that shaking another person's hand is not something you should do.
And, let me add, should you shake another’s hand when you have a cold or the flu,
Not only might that poor person suffer, but whoever that person meets too,
'Cause the next hand that they shake upon greeting might receive what they have just caught,
Which is why via this poem of mine (designed to spare), your attention I have sought.
Oh, by the way,
Before you prepare any food for another person to consume and enjoy,
Or, whenever you have just used the toilet, please some soap and water employ.
Otherwise, who knows what you may come down with, or what might be passed on via you
To some unfortunate person, who then, may well pass such onto others too.
Some people who are very unhygienic, do not appear to suffer ill,
But others that they have thoughtlessly infected, do not always fare as well.
Thus, it seems most unfair to me, that many suffer via such lack of hygiene,
That within our society, and even homes, far too regularly is seen.
Therefore, if you are a wise and truly thoughtful person, you will always be
Concerned about good hygiene, and others, and will thus act appropriately.
Yes, you’ll take any action that's needed in order to stop or minimize
Any nasty bacteria that a thoughtless lack of hygiene thus supplies.
By Lance Landall
Cell phones.
Light-hearted.
3. Something Odd
Something odd is going on that is occurring everywhere,
For people are holding a hand close to their right or left ear.
They appear to be talking, but to whom, I have no idea,
For there is nobody in range that their mutterings can hear.
Some get quite animated, and some folk raise their voice as well,
In fact, some folk even yell, or chat away for quite a spell.
But to whom’s a mystery, for there’s nobody around,
Which seems to beg the question, “Are these people really quite sound?”
Is their ear giving trouble, could it be that they’re in pain?
Have they been given a clout, suffered injury to the brain?
Perhaps they have an earache, or there is something in their ear.
Yes, there could well be some insect that's dancing around in there.
But when you try to talk to them, to enquire if they’re alright,
They’re inclined to glare at you, turn away, act impolite.
You’re only trying to help, but it seems that that’s a mistake,
For they act like they’re upset, and vigorously, their head shake.
Sometimes when you approach them, they look puzzled, and shake their head,
Or they act like they’ve not heard you, nor understood what you’ve said.
Most don’t stop what they’re doing, as if their hand and head are glued,
And you’re left with that feeling that you have acted somewhat rude.
Yes, they have something in their hand that is pressed against their head,
And I don’t think it’s a bandage, although sometimes it glows red.
Occasionally this object is pulled away from their ear,
But only to be looked at, stabbed at, and then be placed back there.
It really has me puzzled why these folk act this way they do,
And the odd thing about it all, is, that all-sorts do it too.
I really can’t help feeling that there is something most askew
About this thing that they’re doing, which seems cell-y, phoney too.
By Lance Landall
"The nasal obsession with cell phones has led to injury, deaths, loss of productivity,
rudeness, detachment and strained relationships."
The poet, author
Cell phones.
4. It's A People Problem
Those cell phone calls that abruptly end conversations can annoy,
And some moments that should never be interrupted can destroy.
Thus it’s time that those who're bothered by such, protested assertively,
And it's time that receivers of such calls acted more thoughtfully.
And as for those ring tones, most are another aggravation,
Such often loud, jarring, infantile — not worthy of toleration.
Yes, more noise pollution that assaults the ear, delivers a blow,
Thereby causing one to grimace, turn away, and exclaim, “Oh, no!”
And even more so when they erupt within a church (a no-no),
'Cause a total lack of respect and reverence such goes to show.
Yes, a church is no place for cell phones, nor many ring tones one hears,
That distract the speakers and listeners, and that interrupt prayers.
And you know,
One purpose of cell phones is for contacting someone urgently,
And another's for contacting someone wherever they may be.
But often one can’t 'cause their cell phone's in their car, needs charging, or
There’s some other reason which sees some stewing and pacing the floor.
Despite all those brain tumour warnings, they’re seldom away from ears,
Most seemingly unconcerned, and shouting too, thus everyone hears.
Though people don't need to shout, it seems that most think that they have to,
Be those people in a hospital, library, or in some queue.
Yes, all those cell phone users should show some manners — etiquette — and
Where it is needed, more should state their disapproval, make a stand,
'Cause tolerating such poor behaviour simply aids and abets,
And thereby a precedent for more inconsiderateness sets.
An example, you ask? Emails! 'Cause here, thoughtlessness prevails too,
Given that some just don’t reply, or take ages to get back to you.
Courtesy always goes a long way, and here, it should be seen too,
Lest a business deal, an appointment, or some friendship, go askew.
If you’re busy, tell people, and that you’ll get back to them, and,
Make sure you do, 'cause saying and not doing, most people can’t stand.
Yes, don’t get people wondering, nor leave them hanging in the air,
But rather, act more thoughtfully, acknowledge them, thus acting fair.
Even answer phones are often abused (hidden behind, as it were),
Some messages not being answered, which suspicion or upset can stir.
And sometimes all one ever seems to get is someone’s answer phone,
Or an ear piecing fax machine that injures ears and sees one groan.
Yes, it’s purely a people problem, so don’t blame technology,
'Cause it’s simply how, when and where such is used, inevitably.
All of which something that's positive or negative will convey,
And which those at the receiving end will either delight or dismay.
By Lance Landall
This poem was upgraded on 17 February 2022.
"When kids traded in their flip phones for smartphones and got onto social media, particularly
Instagram and Snapchat, we began to see a collapse in teenage girls' mental health all across
the English-speaking world,"
Zach Rausch.
Unrestrained dogs.
5. Mind That Dog
I, like you, perhaps, am fond of dogs (even though I do not have one),
'Cause they’re lovely pets, great company, even protective, lots of fun.
But unless they’re well trained, and their owners thoughtful, dogs can cause upset;
In other words, irritate or frighten others, who’ll resent your pet.
So, when people visit, keep your dog away from them (unless they don’t mind),
'Cause such is the behaviour of owners who’re more thoughtful and refined.
They don't let their dog rush the door, jump all over people, bark away,
'Cause they’re owners who have good manners, and disciplined pets that obey.
Should they visit someone, they keep their dog in their car, or leave it at home,
Not letting their uninvited pet unceremoniously roam,
Nor letting it leave little parcels scattered over one’s property
(And nor for that matter, up and down streets, fouling one’s town or city).
Such owners are well aware that some aren’t keen on dogs and will shy away,
So they act appropriately, sensitively, and keep their dog at bay.
And when it comes to hygiene, they don’t stroke their pet and then handle food,
'Cause they’re well aware of the health risks, and also have the right attitude.
Yes, I’m fond of dogs, but they've their time and place, which owners need to face,
And, let me add, dogs shouldn’t be selfishly confined to some little space.
By selfish I mean, for one’s gratification, 'cause dogs one shouldn’t own
If most of the day they’re claustrophobically confined, left alone.
Far too many who don’t have the time or space that’s required for such pets
Thoughtlessly purchase one, and wonder why its constant barking upsets.
Such is irresponsible and cruel, and genuine love doesn’t display,
'Cause if they truly cared, they’d go without, rather than treat a dog that way.
So mind that dog lest you cause upset, or cause misery for your pet,
And you, an unpleasant reaction from someone invariably get.
And when it comes to hygiene, bear such in mind also, otherwise
Injurious consequences for both you and others may arise.
By Lance Landall
This poem was upgraded on 17 February 2022.
Interrupting conversations.
6. It Goes Like This
Someone greets you, or you greet them, and you both stand and chat,
Then, during that conversation, things suddenly go flat.
Someone else has come by, they greeting who you’re talking to,
And a new conversation has proceeded without you.
Or maybe you’re included in this new conversation,
But you’re still far from happy you’ve had this visitation.
However, you bear with it, though wishing that it weren’t so,
And feel guilty that you’re hoping they will very soon go.
All should approach with care those having a conversation,
Lest they act somewhat rudely and cause some irritation.
Who knows whether it’s private, and how much that chat might mean
To either of those chatting when we chance upon that scene.
Unless it's very clear that they’re welcoming us their way,
We shouldn’t interrupt them lest their chatting go astray.
Just give them a quick greeting, and then continue walking,
'Cause we shouldn’t try to join two people who are talking.
And those who're busy chatting should sometimes gently convey
That our greeting them is fine if we don’t intend to stay.
But if we act correctly, they won’t need to say a thing,
'Cause we'll simply greet them and then thoughtfully elsewhere swing.
Perhaps one of those greeted might be happy if we stay,
But what about the other? Do they also feel that way?
And hence that need of prudence when we see people talking,
And why it's better to say “Hi” and continue walking.
Yes, a little thought’s needed in case we disturb a chat,
As either of those we greet may not appreciate that.
Imagine how you might feel if such a visitation
Spoilt or put an end to your own deep conversation.
By Lance Landall
This poem was upgraded on 17 February 2022.
Promises.
7. Keep Your Word
“I’ll be there at three o’clock,” or at least that is what they say,
But when three o’clock comes around, there is reason for dismay.
'Cause they either haven’t turned up or are running very late,
And you hear all those excuses that you tolerate but hate.
If we are unreliable, who will take us at our word?
'Cause some adverse thing about us may very well soon be heard.
Our “Yes” should always mean “Yes,” and our “No” should always mean “No,”
Otherwise, just seeds of distrust in another’s mind will grow.
Yes, so many turn up late, or they don’t turn up as stated,
Causing others much frustration who quite some time have waited.
If we say that we will be there at a certain time or place,
Our lateness, or non-appearance, others shouldn’t have to face.
We've effectively misled if we haven't done as we said,
Not deliberately, I hope, but indirectly we've misled,
'Cause we clearly broke a promise, as we stated as a fact
Something that we said we would do, that our actions never backed.
Sometimes others are left thinking they’ve been wrongly misled,
When something beyond our control stops us doing what we’ve said.
And even when we tell them it was no fault of our own,
Some still remain most unhappy and strongly complain or groan.
However, whenever such happens, at least our conscience is clear,
'Cause we haven't acted wrongly, and no culpability share.
But though unforeseen things can happen, we must still take great care,
Lest it seem we’re unconcerned, and doubts in someone's mind appear.
It doesn’t say a lot for us when we say and then don’t do,
Or if we act in a way that somebody can misconstrue.
So let us all take more care, and make sure that we keep our word,
Lest any promises we break, amongst others soon be heard.
By Lance Landall
This poem was upgraded on 17 February 2022.
Intimacy in public.
8. Would You Mind?
A love that is truly selfless, thoughtful and genuine,
Will always exercise maturity and discipline.
It won’t indulge in sexual activity publicly,
And it won’t display affection inappropriately.
It can wait, and it does, not acting embarrassingly,
Nor making others feel bad (who love wise, mightn't be lucky).
Yes, love that is truly selfless, thoughtful and genuine
Is more focused on the heart and mind rather than the skin.
It isn’t hung up on sex, and leaves dignity intact,
Choosing not to reduce sex to just an animal act.
It keeps such in the bedroom — yes, smooching and kissing too,
And can wait until marriage where such it doesn’t overdo.
Like everything, there’s a time and place, and so there should be,
And much more so when it comes to acting intimately.
After all, intimacy’s exactly that, intimacy,
Which it somewhat ceases to be when displayed publicly.
A parting kiss that doesn’t linger is acceptable,
And a cuddle too that’s just as brief won’t do any ill.
But going beyond that publicly may offend, upset,
And particularly those who same attention don’t get.
Personally, I’m all for affection, and such pursue,
But even affection, in public, one shouldn’t overdo.
That is, the intimate kind, that boy and girl carry-on,
Which has a habit of turning into a marathon.
Yes, a love that is truly selfless, thoughtful and genuine,
Will always exercise maturity and discipline.
It puts self last, others first, and unlike lust, shows control
Both publicly and privately, 'cause what’s best is its goal.
By Lance Landall
Breast feeding in public.
9. Discretion Please
A woman's breasts don’t just feed a baby, 'cause they turn men on as well,
As they’re also a sexual organ — thus, two functions they fulfil.
And therefore, discretion should be used when baby's feed-time comes around,
'Cause such discretion would be behaving more considerate and sound.
Yes, nobody can escape the fact (no matter how hard they may try)
That a bare breast in public will very quickly attract a male’s eye,
'Cause such is the way a man’s designed, and why it’s only natural
That when confronted with a bare breast, a man will feel a certain pull.
And it’s the same with low cut tops that so many women choose to wear,
Hence why it's hardly any wonder that at their breasts a man will stare.
And let's face it, women know very well that such tops will draw men’s eyes,
Which is why they’re so often worn to titillatingly advertise.
However, these low cut tops (some very) that unfairly taunt and tease,
Can also draw the evil interest of some men who would not please.
And likewise a feeding breast too that's exposed for everyone to see,
And hence why there's a need for care, lest it stir one who’s predatory.
But there are also many men out there who will openly attest
That they can feel extremely embarrassed by a publicly bared breast.
Yes, it can make them feel most uneasy when women publicly bare
What only their husband should see, delight in, and intimately share.
Admittedly, breastfeeding in public is sometimes necessary,
And also quite acceptable when it is done very tastefully.
After all, circumstances may require that a little one be fed
Where there's a male present, and where a child's far from their own home and bed.
Therefore, whenever a baby is fed, a woman should take great care,
Lest she embarrass and upset someone, or cause wrong desire to flare.
A little more thought and feeling such a predicament could soon ease,
So, where there are men (I say to mothers), a little discretion please.
By Lance Landall
This poem was upgraded on 17 February 2022.
Chewing gum.
10. Chewing Gum
I can't help feeling that this poem I’ve penned is very needed,
And thus am sincerely hoping that its contents will be heeded.
You see, it’s all about that chewing gum that many are chewing,
A pointless practice that I believe chewers should be reviewing.
Why? 'Cause our poor jaws were never meant to be constantly chewing,
And why many later in life, such a habit might be ruing,
'Cause if any part of our body is needlessly overused,
There’s a very good chance that we'll suffer from its being abused.
But one thing that doesn't impress me is, the way this gum is chewed,
'Cause so many are chewing this gum in a way that’s very rude.
They're chewing it as they’re talking, which means that it is often seen,
Which can make others feel queasy, 'cause such isn’t a pleasant scene.
Chewing with one’s mouth open, and toying with off-putting contents,
Is a rather ill-mannered act that's quite likely to cause offence.
But be it chewing gum or some food, there's a right way and a wrong,
And there is also a time and place where neither of them belong.
Therefore, if you have food in your mouth, but suddenly need to talk,
Please put your hand over your mouth, lest that mulch seen, have others balk.
And whenever you're chewing gum, the very same thing you should do,
Or somehow tuck it away somewhere where it will be out of view.
And when you have finished chewing on that unpleasant looking gum,
Please don’t ever emulate that other unhealthy practice of some.
But rather, wrap it in a tissue, and in a rubbish bin place,
'Cause leaving it on the ground, or anywhere, is just a disgrace.
And watch out for arguments that encourage the chewing of gum,
Lest you swallow such nonsense wrongly propagated by some,
'Cause we’re hardly chewers of the cud, and more harm than good is done
When we are always chewing on what one would be better to shun.
By Lance Landall
This poem was upgraded on 17 February 2022.
Swearing.
11. Soap And Water
In those days when I was a child, some mothers made it very clear,
That should we ever use foul language, soap would suddenly appear,
'Cause mouths that uttered such were deemed to be deserving of a wash,
Which would serve as a strong reminder and thus future swearing quash.
Well, since that time when I was a child, things have badly gone astray,
'Cause swearing is now pandemic and growing fouler every day.
It seems that there’s less resistance now to this language that degrades
The very one who’s swearing, and who a lack of control parades.
You see, no self-respecting person lowers them self by swearing,
And neither do they use such language within another’s hearing,
'Cause once obscene words are spoken, one’s integrity is destroyed,
Which is why self-respecting people such obscenity avoid.
So much is conveyed to others by those things that we choose to say,
Or by certain words we utter, as both, the inner self display,
'Cause whenever foul words are used (that everybody should condemn),
They reflect a blemish in the mind of those who are using them.
Yes, such people simply display a level to which they have sunk,
And such can also covey that from polluted fountains they've drunk,
'Cause those sources that we draw from, and thus give entry to the brain,
Inevitably determine what inside our grey matter will reign.
There’s never any need of language that destroys integrity,
Or that offends another who considers such obscenity.
But if swearing doesn’t faze you, and foul words you’ll still rudely say,
At least show some thought for others, please, who don’t see things the same way.
It seems to me that soap and water wouldn’t go astray today,
Because never before have we heard such verbal moral decay.
It never brings anyone credit using language that’s obscene,
'Cause it shows a mind that’s sullied, and a mouth that soap needs to clean.
By Lance Landall
This poem was upgraded on 17 February 2022.
The following YouTube link was sent to me by the writer of the following
poem about swearing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAfCD_K_3b4
Crossing roads.
12. Mind That Crossing
Far too often we see people who with lack of thought and care,
Just bowl out onto a crossing as if traffic isn’t there.
It seems some have an attitude, and perhaps they need a scare,
Otherwise, they may lose their life, or end up in a wheelchair.
Though every motorist should stop, they mightn’t have the time to,
Should you stride onto a crossing without the thought that is due.
And you might make them angry, perhaps any passenger too,
Should they be thrown about when the driver quickly brakes for you.
My saying this shouldn't come as a surprise, but the crossing isn’t yours,
It’s simply there to help you — so, before you cross, check and pause.
Don’t rush towards the crossing, but approach slowly and with care,
Patiently holding back, or better still, wait till the road’s clear.
Some people make a driver stop who’s the only one in sight,
For rather than let that car go by, they bowl out like they’ve a right.
Such is acting selfishly, and using crossings foolishly,
And it can hold someone up who’s late, and feeling crotchety.
Many people use a crossing as if they have got all day,
Thus acting inconsiderately, hence why glares come their way.
I guess that is why some drivers are not so inclined to stop,
And why folk who drag their feet, or bowl out, have some blow their top.
Some folk stride onto a crossing while texting on their cell phone,
Or while listening to a walkman that many also own.
But some just aren’t thinking, or have an attitude, I’m afraid,
Which longevity of life, in their case, certainly won't aid.
Yes, some folk don’t seem to realize the havoc that they can cause,
When they stride onto a crossing without checking or that pause.
And when a driver hits the brakes due to someone’s lack of thought,
There’s a good possibility someone’s life will be cut short.
By Lance Landall
Car driver doors.
Light-hearted.
13. Mind That Bike!
I love to ride my push-bike, 'cause there’s so much I can see,
Sitting on my padded seat and pedaling merrily.
But I’m watchful of parked cars lest an open door appear,
That’ll quickly end my outing and rocket me through the air.
Such incidents can happen, and very frequently too,
Because so many drivers absent-mindedly such things do.
They fling their door wide open, which acts like a giant bat,
Halting innocent cyclists who invariably go splat.
There’s no time to ring a bell, or to tightly squeeze the brakes,
Hence one is quickly humbled, left nursing numerous aches.
’Though one scrambles to their feet to reduce humiliation,
Joints loath to co-operate present a complication.
There’s little time for greetings, nor for any pleasantry,
When one’s lying on a road, positioned most creatively.
And threats of more injury from juggernauts one can’t see,
Provide one with incentive to arise, albeit dizzily.
That is, of course, if one’s conscious, not counting little stars,
Or smiling to the chirping of joyful budgerigars.
And also if one’s body can heed signals from the brain,
That urgently are shouting, “Quickly! Staying here’s insane!”
The push bike one was riding now no longer looks the same,
It half the length and mangled, just a bicycle in name.
It now a thing of horror — likewise, that disfigured door,
That both cyclist and driver has left shaken and feeling sore.
Now such could be prevented if motorists checked to see
If there might be a cyclist approaching them silently.
A little more attention, and also a bit more thought,
Would save a lot more cyclists from aping an astronaut.
By Lance Landall
Visiting.
14. "When In Rome..."
When someone comes to visit us, there are certain things that we expect,
Simply because when they are in our home, they should show us due respect.
After all, our home is our home, and in our home, our rules should apply,
Therefore, if you wish to visit us, it’s only right that you comply.
And likewise, when we are in your home, we should show due respect to you,
By behaving in a manner that is equally as thoughtful too.
After all, your home is your home, and in your home, your rules should apply,
Therefore, if we wish to visit you, it’s only right that we comply.
Just what do I mean by rules?
Please see that you’re not wearing what our standards and beliefs might offend,
Via any pictures or any writing that certain messages send.
For neither our faith nor our standards should receive such a knock from you
Whenever you come to visit us by request, or out of the blue.
And if you've been invited for dinner?
When you’re told that dinner is ready, we will ask you to wash your hands,
Lest it be that some very nasty germ on our table or food lands.
Besides, washing our hands before we eat, displays wisdom, thought and care,
And such is needed far more so, when with other folk, a meal we share.
Please don’t go checking your cell phone when you're sitting at the table too,
For checking germy cell phones is another thing that one shouldn't do.
Nor should you blow your nose there, but if you do, straightaway you must go
To wherever there is soap and water, and thereby, thoughtfulness show.
And please keep your mouth tightly closed when you've placed any food within it,
Thereby refraining from conversing lest a rather sore point you hit.
For eating with your mouth open, or talking while you are chewing food,
Will undoubtedly upset us, as such is certainly very rude.
Please don’t swear in our presence either, nor indulge in some crudity,
And please treat with due thought and care our possessions and our property.
Leave any dirty old shoes outside, and wipe your clean shoes on the mat,
And please mind what you're saying in general, when with us you freely chat.
How we act when we're in someone’s home, and how we treat visitors too,
Will most definitely convey a great deal about you-know-who.
As well as, will you be invited back, will folk revisit your home?
Which is why we should always tread with care, and remember: “When In Rome…”
Oh, by the way,
If by some chance you have a cold, friend, or you have come down with the flu,
Please don't call on us until such is past, or your visit we may rue.
Wait until you are over it, because it would be very unfair
To visit us when you're poorly, and a bug or virus with us share.
Those things that many of us grew up with, that help us act correctly,
Are things that every generation should continue, and cheerfully.
Oh yes, good manners should never die, and nor should acting thoughtfully,
For when all is said and done, they're one and the same thing, obviously.
By Lance Landall
Right From The Cradle:
Instil in your child not only respect for others (and indeed all living things), but the preciousness of human life.
Teach your child to view any kind of violence or abuse with contempt.
Help your child to take pride in them self.
Cultivate in your child an open, enquiring mind.
Teach your child to be lawful and to show due respect to authority figures (who, despite some misusing their position, are there for good reason).
Help your child discover the joy of giving, sharing and helping.
Give your child sound principles and standards to live by.
Teach your child that all are equal (regardless of rank, race or gender).
Help your child to remain the individual they are.
Teach your child to look for the best in everyone.
Help your child appreciate the differences in others.
Help your child reach their full potential.
Praise your child regularly and be generous with affection.
Help your child see the counter productiveness of selfishness and wrong doing.
Teach your child that looking after their health will not only lead to longevity and less pain, but that they’ll thereby be lesser a burden on others and will spare them self the embarrassment of certain medical procedures.
Cultivate in your child a desire for what’s wholesome, beautiful and beneficial.
Teach your child to be fair, patient, tolerant, impartial and compasionate.
Help your child to show thought and care for those who’re less fortunate in any way.
Help your child become self-sufficient but not afraid to ask for help.
Teach your child to be honest, transparent and a seeker of truth.
Teach your child to stand up for what they believe in, regardless of ridicule or loss.
Teach your child to keep promises and agreed times and places.
Teach your child the value of a good work ethic.
Help your child see the value in wisdom and sense.
Teach your child the thoughtfulness of etiqette.
Teach your child to think deeply, study well, and research widely.
Teach your child to look after things and to also respect what belongs to others.
Put in place certain boundaries that your child is not to cross without consequences.
Help your child realise that challenges are good for us, and that adversity handled well leads to growth.
Teach your son to be sensitive to a female's needs, and to also be protective of her.
Teach your daughter to be savvy regarding males who aren't as they seem, or who've selfish or ill intent.
And lastly, and above all, BE LOVE'S EXAMPLE.
Smacking — Child Abuse In Perspective:
Benjamin Spock, who told an entire generation of parents to not
discipline their children, stated the following before his death:
"We
have reared a generation of brats. Parents aren't firm enough with
their children for fear of losing theirlove or incurring their resentment. This is a cruel deprivation that we professionals have imposed on mothers
and fathers. Of course we did it with the best of intentions. We didn't realize until it was too late how our
know-it-all atitude was undermining the self-assurance of parents."
CETF magazine, March 2009
If the bow’s drawn too tight in order to stop this or that, it creates an impossible world to live in, one where explosions are more likely to occur.
Such became the case when they made smacking illegal in New Zealand. It was my prediction that both child abuse and subsequent deaths would increase as a result, and such has proven more than true.
When you take away a parent's right to a short, sharp smack on the bottom (best begun very early), you remove that last resort that parents need. As a result, their frustration at a child not responding to other means can result in an explosion one day where the child gets badly hurt or killed.
Oh, so many frustrated mothers I see these days who feel unable to smack their paddy throwing child who’s nothing but an embarrassment and growing more unruly by the day. And so, there those mothers are, their child screaming, wailing or defiantly throwing him or herself to the ground in protest and refusing to budge.
When it comes to child abuse (or spouse abuse) we need to mind that we’re not taking things too far lest we actually worsen things. Argy-bargy (though not ideal) is a fact of life for many couples, and even confrontations with their children. And from which even a little physical jostling can occur.
Now don’t get me wrong here, because I’m not excusing any abuse, but simply saying that reporting shouldn’t become ridiculous. If a stressed father impatiently gives his cheeky son a bit of an on-your-way push in the direction of his bedroom, that’s hardly a crime even if that son might stumble a little midst his sulk and bump his head a little on the wallpaper. Such hardly premeditated, a far cry from a beating, and no doubt pretty commonplace.
So why bag such parents who no doubt aren't that happy about it themselves?
It kind of reminds me of those who think that introducing the death penalty will hold people back from committing murder. The truth is that many murders are not premeditated murders, but the result of some heated occurance. Laws won't stop these heated occurances and consequences, nor even many a premeditated murder.
We’ve bent over so far in order to stem the tide of child abuse that we’ve lost our balance, and I believe that this is why the behaviour of kids today has become worse (as biblically predicted too), because at the end of the day, there’s little left to install a healthy respect for authority now.
Just as we can’t expect perfection from children, we shouldn’t expect perfection from (stressed) parents, or even between couples.
As a result of getting too carried away, good parents are being tainted and charged with things that just shouldn’t get that far. Many hardly monsters but simply severely taxed sometimes by little monsters that both teachers and the police can do little to bring to heel either, given the over-the-top legislation.
Yes, spare the rod and spoil the child is as true today as it was before. Hence those dreadfully rude and rebellious children we’ve witnessed whose parents may be anti-smacking themselves, inconsistent, or too lazy, to be frank.
Imperfect world, imperfect means, and therefore much truth in the “got to be cruel to be kind” argument.
Yes, some parents have raised good kids without having resorted to smacking but such are an exception, and no doubt other factors were at play.
It’s my strong belief that most of the restless, overactive, grumpy, inattentive and naughty behaviour that’s coming from young children today is due to a lack of early childhood training and discipline, including that absent smacking so foolishly outlawed in certain countries, and courtesy of New Age gurus who far from being enlightened are seriously deluded.
As a consequence, far too much is being put down to the likes of attention deficit disorder or some other disorder that simply doesn't apply here, and the likes of sugar only playing a certain part.
Right from very young my six children were raised with appropriate smacks, boundaries and rules. Our success proven by the glowing comments that we often got for such well-behaved and polite children who clearly knew what would and wouldn’t be tolerated, or else.
All why our kids didn't play up when out, sat still and quiet when we visited people, didn't help themselves without asking, took their shoes off at the door, didn't jump on the furniture and so on.
Did I err in my disciplining at any time? Hey, I wouldn't be human if I hadn't, and why all parents err somehwere, sometime. But better to err than not discipline at all.
Boundaries and discipline give children a sense of security that shouts that they're loved and cared about.
In
my day, many a child was spared from a path of ill (that would
have badly impacted on others) via a firm hand that wasn't as
restricted as it is today. We shouldn't throw the baby out with the
bath water just because some parents have gone too far.
A member of my family (a trained child care teacher with managerial experience) has often spoken of the terrible frustration that child care teachers can experience given the dreadful behaviour coming from so many undisciplined kids that they're not allowed to do this or that with in order to deal with the bad behaviour that's coming from them (behaviour that's badly influencing other kids in those same child care centres). Hence why many of these teachers are suffering from burn out and are leaving the profession. School teachers too.
But getting back to smacking, perhaps this is why many couples are saying "No" to having kids. What parent wants people watching their every move and reporting them to the authorities over something that in the scheme of things is trivial. Do we really want such clogging up our courts, over loading social workers, and drawing the police away from what is serious? It's terrible that a child might fall over and hurt themself and their parents coming under suspicion, living in fear that they might be blamed and charged.
I find it very intriguing (and hypocritical) how those who’re anti smacking, and who create such a fuss over anything that they perceive as child abuse, seem to have little qualms over their own young children seeing violent images on the TV news, playing violent computer games, watching violent movies (be they in cartoon form) and reading books (comics more often) with violent images. Or, they subject their tiny baby's or infant's tender ears to a heavy thumping beat that's coming from their car's mega woofers or some home stereo. Yes, more things could be mentioned, and where's the legislation there?
Human factory farming, and the greatest social experiment of our time, it's been said, and the unwitting participants being millions of parents.
Sometimes in life, due to personal circumstances and so on, we can’t always do the ideal thing — in other words, such may be somewhat beyond our control, and thus a Child Care Centre a necessary evil, so to speak. And given the errant way in which some children are brought up, and their home environment, such children may in fact be better off or no worse off spending most of their time in such a centre.
However, where possible, I personally believe that Child Care Centres should be avoided, and never used as a life-style choice.
Why?
Well, the first five years of a child’s life are critical to that child’s formation — that is, the building of his or her character, and here we’re talking about morals, standards, values, principles, etc. Thus, those first five years are very important when it comes to instilling the best (and what's right) in your child, unopposed by any negative Child Care Centre influences, or other.
Remember that what children see children do.
It’s also very important that during the first five years a child has as much bonding with its mother (even father) as possible, and even siblings, and that the mother enjoy the stages and growth of her child on a personal level, and not through the impersonal eyes of a Child Care Centre worker, who effectively robs a mother of so much, including any spontaneous experiences.
Research has shown that children left at Child Care Centres can feel a certain alienation from their parents, an inner something’s missing-cum-am I truly wanted? Might such children become somewhat distant in their marital relationship (or relationships in general) having never truly bonded?
Placing your child in a Child Care Centre will expose your child to certain things that you may not wish your child to be exposed to, or will expose your child to that which it shouldn’t be exposed to. Bad enough come school!
And among those things?
The bad language and behaviour of other children-cum-the bad influences of children that haven’t been raised well, bullies, the influences of any Child Care Centre worker who's incompetent, moody, disinterested, distracted, at odds with your own beliefs, philosophies, views, etc (which includes any underlying Child Care Centre theology), certain activities and material, certain food, certain music, and fatiguing and damaging noise levels.
Hence why I believe that during the first five years it’s better for a child to be at home with its non-working mother, and that it only be introduced to the likes of kindergartens too when school age is near at hand.
Further to:
Studies have shown that placing children in a Child Care Centre can lead to a number of negative effects like aggressive behavior and poor social skills, for example.
Studies have found evidence that suggests that the longer a child spends in a Child Care Centre, the more stress it may experience.
Children who spend time in a Child Care Centre may experience a weaker parental attachment as a result. And those children who don't have a secure parental attachment are thus at greater risk of depression, anxiety and other mood disorders.
Children get sick far more often in group care given the constant bugs doing the rounds. In fact, kids in Child Care Centres seem to be forever coming down with things, and often the child care workers too.
Your rules and the Child Centre rules may be different, causing confusion.
Many child care workers (and managers) are of dubious quality, and there being no one like one's mother, of course.
The truth is that it's impossible to predict how a Child Care Centre will affect an individual child, your child.
There's also the unpleasant atmosphere of certain Child Care Centres where the child care workers are disgruntled, or preoccupied with personal problems.
And there's that institutional type setting at such an early age.
No wonder parents can be left feeling guilty.
From a Christian perspective, it should be remembered that God gives the duty of raising a child to the parent, and not to some caregiver or Child Care Centre. And that duty is to be maintained as long as possible, though certainly for the first five years at least.
A member of my family, who's a trained early child care teacher with quite a few years of experiece, and also managerial experience, has made it very clear to us, that she will not be placing any children that she may have, in a Child Care Centre given what she has experienced herself, and all the above. She has also stated that during her time as an early child care teacher she has noticed that children are getting worse, and that there are those who are a very real concern.
Recommended reading: Home By Choice by Brenda Hunter, Ph.D. This book details and exposes the emotional scars-cum-serious consequences that can occur due to placing babies, infants, toddlers-cum-preschoolers in childcare centres.
The article above was drawn from various sources.
A woman at home means that her school age children have someone to come home to, someone who’s always there. This prevents latchkey syndrome, lessening ill for idle hands made easier where parents are absent, creating a certain security, and giving her children someone to offload their school or general anxieties onto.
My children's school friends appeared to be jealous of our children given that my wife was always at home, and that she never worked outside the home.
A woman at home frees up employment thus lessening unemployment.
A woman at home is good for neighbourhood watch, thieves and opportunists who know that there are people about.
A woman at home provides stability for her working husband, who, just like the children, knows that she’s there. This taking strain off him, allowing him to concentrate more fully on his job, a career or business, which benefits both his wife and children.
A woman at home has the most important and greatest responsibility of all, raising sound, well-balanced, secure, happy citizens; future doctors, mayors, policemen, etc.
A woman at home lessens certain stresses associated with both parents working who as a result of those stresses have less time for a number of beneficial and important things.
A woman at home is freer to help out in the community, helping new mothers, her or his elderly parents, giving neighbourhood support, volunteering, simply being there.
A woman at home can put more into the home from which wonderful memories can grow, and there’s nothing that beats that smell of freshly baked cookies that greets children who’ve returned from school; or that special dinner, attractively dressed, attentive wife, and titivated home that greets a husband returning from a frazzled day at work.
A woman at home has more time to deal with household emergencies and breakdowns, is there for repairmen, is able to take her children to appointments, visit school teachers, mind her sick child, and can check out appliances and so on needing to be researched and replaced.
A woman at home reflects the importance and wholesomeness of the home too often unnecessarily sacrificed for the so-called freedom of pursuing a career that in the scheme of things is but a shallow exchange; likewise material baubles.
A woman at home is freer to pursue hobbies and interests that not only are fulfilling and pleasurable but beneficial to both her husband and children.
A woman at home spares herself from the temptation of an affair so often associated with the work place.
A woman at home enhances the marriage given that she has far more time to concentrate on it and any issues related to it.
A woman at home is a role model for home skills that seen and learnt can prove a blessing in her children’s marriage and home.
A woman at home bonds better with her children and enhances their development.
A woman at home doesn't miss out the same on the likes of those first steps and so on.
A woman at home doesn't suffer from the same guilt trips that a working mother does.
A woman at home can better handle certain demands.
A woman at home is her own boss.
A woman at home is doing what a woman should be doing, raising her child herself.
A woman at home shields her children from the negative influences of day care centres where so many children are placed almost from the get go.
And By The Way:
After
the anti-mandate protesters in the capital of New Zealand rioted
outside parliament (many of them simply trouble makers, and all
acting illegally and thoughtlessly), I was listening to the News and
someone stated that
there was going to be a full investigation into it all and what led to
something pretty much unheard of before in our country.
Well, such left me shaking my head, because I believe that it’s really quite simple, and here I’ve sought to explain why so.
It’s all too easy to pick on conspiracy theories and misinformation. Such simply fuels conspiracy theories and lends some credibility to them.
The truth is that Governments haven’t always handled the Covid situation very well. Mistakes have been more than a few. Though to be fair, they were thrown in at the deep end. But nevertheless, they could have put so much more time, effort and money into incentives, better informing, and regularly used open forums made up of medical experts, scientists and so on, and whereby people could ask questions, challenge and so forth — yes, everyone from genuinely concerned mums and dads to those who’re into conspiracy theories (such sometimes containing elements of truth, by the way, much having gone on behind the scenes throughout Earth’s history). Tying things down to conspiracy theories and misinformation all the time is most unhelpful, and banning misinformation being another dangerous precedent.
Bad governments could have a field day here, as with any proposed hate speech bill.
Moving on:
1)
The last few years of the Covid situation has caused anxiety, fear, frustration, distress, strained relationships, alienation, side taking, damage to friendships, and has caused delays in needed operations, led to business failures, disruption to schooling, church gatherings, needed services and so much more.
People have been exposed to an upsetting Covid saturated media seemingly sadistically obsessed with picture after picture of people getting jabbed. Enough to put one off. All why they turn their head away or not bother listening to the News at all.
There’s no question that Covid and all the measures that have been taken to stem it has led to immeasurable harm, be those measures necessary or not. People’s lives have been turned upside down. They’re emotionally exhausted, have no taste for more, and hence why tempers have been flaring.
I would imagine too that many who've lost their job (which affects their loved ones too) due to not getting vaccinated (either against that vaccine or the mandate) have been festering in the background, which is not what any country needs, because such may lead to something like a mass shooting. That's the nature of festering. All too real today. And unemployment in general not helping the mix of things.
2)
Youth (and younger, or people in general) have been exposed to mind-bending drugs and unprecedented terribly harmful content via TV, computer and even cell phones. For example: Shocking violence, dysfunction causing porn, sexual saturation, self esteem ruining media platforms, angry, anti or depressing song lyrics, and a diet of dignity stripping rubbish and distressing News items.
3)
An inescapable fact is that many children today are not being brought up with the same regard for standards, principles and morals, nor a belief system that gives them hope beyond it all. Hence why disrespect, lawlessness, mindlessness and purposelessness are rampant. And hence why many of them are concerned about climate change but aren't interested in ethics, are concerned about creatures and animal cruelty but have no qualms about abortion. Whether people like to admit it or not, the Church, which many are abandoning today, has had a most beneficial and stable influence on society.
And are children receiving the same love, time and attention today?
4)
Smacking has been outlawed in New Zealand — that parent's last resort. This being, I believe, one reason why child abuse and infant deaths have risen. I predicted such. Yes, it all leading to explosive situations in the home given many already stressed parents being confronted with defiant children who they can’t touch. Time and time again I’ve seen the sad results of children who never received that restrained smack on the bottom that brought them to heel like nothing else. That one shouldn't smack is just New Age nonsense and the flawed territory of social engineers who have made things worse rather than better. But who's holding them to account?
Childcare workers can't lift a finger too. A family member who's been in the childcare industry for a number of years, has wanted to quit given that there is little that they're allowed to do to keep in check the little undisciplined, cheeky horrors that seem to be on the rise, and some really needing special care given their issues (be it anger, cruelty or what, which is not the territory of childcare centres. Some children are suffering from traumas of some kind).
High school (and earlier) teachers are also confronted with more unacceptable behaviour these days, and no wonder given what I've just mentioned.
5)
Funding for the likes of mental health services has been woefully inadequate. There's a lot of people out there who're potential shooters as a result given that many can't handle things anymore, or they commit suicide.
6)
People have been faced with rising costs all the time. It's as if life's becoming too expensive. Dental bills are almost criminal, funeral expenses are an absolute insult, rental accommodation is unaffordable, owing a home out of reach, and GST on essential foods (like fruit and vegetables) is plain thoughtless governance. And hence the homeless, that greater demand for food banks; and desperation often leading to crime, like spousal abuse.
7)
People don’t trust politicians the same these days because of all the political game playing, that left and right nonsense instead of a working together and pulling the best from all parties, the holding back of information, those broken promises, those backroom deals, the dishonesty and fudging, the tired old same old regurgitation of policies that have failed before, and the deviousness of certain vote catching, all of which has been all to prevalent. And often it’s been a case of too much too soon, people wanting stability, not parties pandering to every social whim, nor causing social upheavals.
8)
Social engineers have been creating so much confusion. People no longer know who and what they are any more, when once they did.
9)
People are feeling that there's more and more inroads being made into their lives and rights. One could spend a lot more time on this one.
10)
And then there’s those wars and rumours of wars. Yes, the world has become very unstable. Thus the fear that this world is out of control.
All why we're needing a healing of the world, and no more agendas.
Yes, it’s really not that hard to figure out.
A member of my family (a trained child care teacher with managerial experience) has often spoken of the terrible frustration that child care teachers can experience given the dreadful behaviour coming from so many undisciplined kids that they're not allowed to do this or that with in order to deal with the bad behaviour that's coming from them (behaviour that's badly influencing other kids in those same child care centres). Hence why many of these teachers are suffering from burn out and are leaving the profession. School teachers too.
But getting back to smacking, perhaps this is why many couples are saying "No" to having kids. What parent wants people watching their every move and reporting them to the authorities over something that in the scheme of things is trivial. Do we really want such clogging up our courts, over loading social workers, and drawing the police away from what is serious? It's terrible that a child might fall over and hurt themself and their parents coming under suspicion, living in fear that they might be blamed and charged.
I find it very intriguing (and hypocritical) how those who’re anti smacking, and who create such a fuss over anything that they perceive as child abuse, seem to have little qualms over their own young children seeing violent images on the TV news, playing violent computer games, watching violent movies (be they in cartoon form) and reading books (comics more often) with violent images. Or, they subject their tiny baby's or infant's tender ears to a heavy thumping beat that's coming from their car's mega woofers or some home stereo. Yes, more things could be mentioned, and where's the legislation there?
Regarding Child Care Centres:
Human factory farming, and the greatest social experiment of our time, it's been said, and the unwitting participants being millions of parents.
Sometimes in life, due to personal circumstances and so on, we can’t always do the ideal thing — in other words, such may be somewhat beyond our control, and thus a Child Care Centre a necessary evil, so to speak. And given the errant way in which some children are brought up, and their home environment, such children may in fact be better off or no worse off spending most of their time in such a centre.
However, where possible, I personally believe that Child Care Centres should be avoided, and never used as a life-style choice.
Why?
Well, the first five years of a child’s life are critical to that child’s formation — that is, the building of his or her character, and here we’re talking about morals, standards, values, principles, etc. Thus, those first five years are very important when it comes to instilling the best (and what's right) in your child, unopposed by any negative Child Care Centre influences, or other.
Remember that what children see children do.
It’s also very important that during the first five years a child has as much bonding with its mother (even father) as possible, and even siblings, and that the mother enjoy the stages and growth of her child on a personal level, and not through the impersonal eyes of a Child Care Centre worker, who effectively robs a mother of so much, including any spontaneous experiences.
Research has shown that children left at Child Care Centres can feel a certain alienation from their parents, an inner something’s missing-cum-am I truly wanted? Might such children become somewhat distant in their marital relationship (or relationships in general) having never truly bonded?
Placing your child in a Child Care Centre will expose your child to certain things that you may not wish your child to be exposed to, or will expose your child to that which it shouldn’t be exposed to. Bad enough come school!
And among those things?
The bad language and behaviour of other children-cum-the bad influences of children that haven’t been raised well, bullies, the influences of any Child Care Centre worker who's incompetent, moody, disinterested, distracted, at odds with your own beliefs, philosophies, views, etc (which includes any underlying Child Care Centre theology), certain activities and material, certain food, certain music, and fatiguing and damaging noise levels.
Hence why I believe that during the first five years it’s better for a child to be at home with its non-working mother, and that it only be introduced to the likes of kindergartens too when school age is near at hand.
Further to:
Studies have shown that placing children in a Child Care Centre can lead to a number of negative effects like aggressive behavior and poor social skills, for example.
Studies have found evidence that suggests that the longer a child spends in a Child Care Centre, the more stress it may experience.
Children who spend time in a Child Care Centre may experience a weaker parental attachment as a result. And those children who don't have a secure parental attachment are thus at greater risk of depression, anxiety and other mood disorders.
Children get sick far more often in group care given the constant bugs doing the rounds. In fact, kids in Child Care Centres seem to be forever coming down with things, and often the child care workers too.
Your rules and the Child Centre rules may be different, causing confusion.
Many child care workers (and managers) are of dubious quality, and there being no one like one's mother, of course.
The truth is that it's impossible to predict how a Child Care Centre will affect an individual child, your child.
There's also the unpleasant atmosphere of certain Child Care Centres where the child care workers are disgruntled, or preoccupied with personal problems.
And there's that institutional type setting at such an early age.
No wonder parents can be left feeling guilty.
From a Christian perspective, it should be remembered that God gives the duty of raising a child to the parent, and not to some caregiver or Child Care Centre. And that duty is to be maintained as long as possible, though certainly for the first five years at least.
A member of my family, who's a trained early child care teacher with quite a few years of experiece, and also managerial experience, has made it very clear to us, that she will not be placing any children that she may have, in a Child Care Centre given what she has experienced herself, and all the above. She has also stated that during her time as an early child care teacher she has noticed that children are getting worse, and that there are those who are a very real concern.
Recommended reading: Home By Choice by Brenda Hunter, Ph.D. This book details and exposes the emotional scars-cum-serious consequences that can occur due to placing babies, infants, toddlers-cum-preschoolers in childcare centres.
The article above was drawn from various sources.
Regarding The Benefits Of A Woman At Home:
A woman at home means that her school age children have someone to come home to, someone who’s always there. This prevents latchkey syndrome, lessening ill for idle hands made easier where parents are absent, creating a certain security, and giving her children someone to offload their school or general anxieties onto.
My children's school friends appeared to be jealous of our children given that my wife was always at home, and that she never worked outside the home.
A woman at home frees up employment thus lessening unemployment.
A woman at home is good for neighbourhood watch, thieves and opportunists who know that there are people about.
A woman at home provides stability for her working husband, who, just like the children, knows that she’s there. This taking strain off him, allowing him to concentrate more fully on his job, a career or business, which benefits both his wife and children.
A woman at home has the most important and greatest responsibility of all, raising sound, well-balanced, secure, happy citizens; future doctors, mayors, policemen, etc.
A woman at home lessens certain stresses associated with both parents working who as a result of those stresses have less time for a number of beneficial and important things.
A woman at home is freer to help out in the community, helping new mothers, her or his elderly parents, giving neighbourhood support, volunteering, simply being there.
A woman at home can put more into the home from which wonderful memories can grow, and there’s nothing that beats that smell of freshly baked cookies that greets children who’ve returned from school; or that special dinner, attractively dressed, attentive wife, and titivated home that greets a husband returning from a frazzled day at work.
A woman at home has more time to deal with household emergencies and breakdowns, is there for repairmen, is able to take her children to appointments, visit school teachers, mind her sick child, and can check out appliances and so on needing to be researched and replaced.
A woman at home reflects the importance and wholesomeness of the home too often unnecessarily sacrificed for the so-called freedom of pursuing a career that in the scheme of things is but a shallow exchange; likewise material baubles.
A woman at home is freer to pursue hobbies and interests that not only are fulfilling and pleasurable but beneficial to both her husband and children.
A woman at home spares herself from the temptation of an affair so often associated with the work place.
A woman at home enhances the marriage given that she has far more time to concentrate on it and any issues related to it.
A woman at home is a role model for home skills that seen and learnt can prove a blessing in her children’s marriage and home.
A woman at home bonds better with her children and enhances their development.
A woman at home doesn't miss out the same on the likes of those first steps and so on.
A woman at home doesn't suffer from the same guilt trips that a working mother does.
A woman at home can better handle certain demands.
A woman at home is her own boss.
A woman at home is doing what a woman should be doing, raising her child herself.
A woman at home shields her children from the negative influences of day care centres where so many children are placed almost from the get go.
And By The Way:
After
the anti-mandate protesters in the capital of New Zealand rioted
outside parliament (many of them simply trouble makers, and all
acting illegally and thoughtlessly), I was listening to the News and
someone stated that
there was going to be a full investigation into it all and what led to
something pretty much unheard of before in our country.Well, such left me shaking my head, because I believe that it’s really quite simple, and here I’ve sought to explain why so.
It’s all too easy to pick on conspiracy theories and misinformation. Such simply fuels conspiracy theories and lends some credibility to them.
The truth is that Governments haven’t always handled the Covid situation very well. Mistakes have been more than a few. Though to be fair, they were thrown in at the deep end. But nevertheless, they could have put so much more time, effort and money into incentives, better informing, and regularly used open forums made up of medical experts, scientists and so on, and whereby people could ask questions, challenge and so forth — yes, everyone from genuinely concerned mums and dads to those who’re into conspiracy theories (such sometimes containing elements of truth, by the way, much having gone on behind the scenes throughout Earth’s history). Tying things down to conspiracy theories and misinformation all the time is most unhelpful, and banning misinformation being another dangerous precedent.
Bad governments could have a field day here, as with any proposed hate speech bill.
Moving on:
1)
The last few years of the Covid situation has caused anxiety, fear, frustration, distress, strained relationships, alienation, side taking, damage to friendships, and has caused delays in needed operations, led to business failures, disruption to schooling, church gatherings, needed services and so much more.
People have been exposed to an upsetting Covid saturated media seemingly sadistically obsessed with picture after picture of people getting jabbed. Enough to put one off. All why they turn their head away or not bother listening to the News at all.
There’s no question that Covid and all the measures that have been taken to stem it has led to immeasurable harm, be those measures necessary or not. People’s lives have been turned upside down. They’re emotionally exhausted, have no taste for more, and hence why tempers have been flaring.
I would imagine too that many who've lost their job (which affects their loved ones too) due to not getting vaccinated (either against that vaccine or the mandate) have been festering in the background, which is not what any country needs, because such may lead to something like a mass shooting. That's the nature of festering. All too real today. And unemployment in general not helping the mix of things.
2)
Youth (and younger, or people in general) have been exposed to mind-bending drugs and unprecedented terribly harmful content via TV, computer and even cell phones. For example: Shocking violence, dysfunction causing porn, sexual saturation, self esteem ruining media platforms, angry, anti or depressing song lyrics, and a diet of dignity stripping rubbish and distressing News items.
3)
An inescapable fact is that many children today are not being brought up with the same regard for standards, principles and morals, nor a belief system that gives them hope beyond it all. Hence why disrespect, lawlessness, mindlessness and purposelessness are rampant. And hence why many of them are concerned about climate change but aren't interested in ethics, are concerned about creatures and animal cruelty but have no qualms about abortion. Whether people like to admit it or not, the Church, which many are abandoning today, has had a most beneficial and stable influence on society.
And are children receiving the same love, time and attention today?
4)
Smacking has been outlawed in New Zealand — that parent's last resort. This being, I believe, one reason why child abuse and infant deaths have risen. I predicted such. Yes, it all leading to explosive situations in the home given many already stressed parents being confronted with defiant children who they can’t touch. Time and time again I’ve seen the sad results of children who never received that restrained smack on the bottom that brought them to heel like nothing else. That one shouldn't smack is just New Age nonsense and the flawed territory of social engineers who have made things worse rather than better. But who's holding them to account?
Childcare workers can't lift a finger too. A family member who's been in the childcare industry for a number of years, has wanted to quit given that there is little that they're allowed to do to keep in check the little undisciplined, cheeky horrors that seem to be on the rise, and some really needing special care given their issues (be it anger, cruelty or what, which is not the territory of childcare centres. Some children are suffering from traumas of some kind).
High school (and earlier) teachers are also confronted with more unacceptable behaviour these days, and no wonder given what I've just mentioned.
5)
Funding for the likes of mental health services has been woefully inadequate. There's a lot of people out there who're potential shooters as a result given that many can't handle things anymore, or they commit suicide.
6)
People have been faced with rising costs all the time. It's as if life's becoming too expensive. Dental bills are almost criminal, funeral expenses are an absolute insult, rental accommodation is unaffordable, owing a home out of reach, and GST on essential foods (like fruit and vegetables) is plain thoughtless governance. And hence the homeless, that greater demand for food banks; and desperation often leading to crime, like spousal abuse.
7)
People don’t trust politicians the same these days because of all the political game playing, that left and right nonsense instead of a working together and pulling the best from all parties, the holding back of information, those broken promises, those backroom deals, the dishonesty and fudging, the tired old same old regurgitation of policies that have failed before, and the deviousness of certain vote catching, all of which has been all to prevalent. And often it’s been a case of too much too soon, people wanting stability, not parties pandering to every social whim, nor causing social upheavals.
8)
Social engineers have been creating so much confusion. People no longer know who and what they are any more, when once they did.
9)
People are feeling that there's more and more inroads being made into their lives and rights. One could spend a lot more time on this one.
10)
And then there’s those wars and rumours of wars. Yes, the world has become very unstable. Thus the fear that this world is out of control.
All why we're needing a healing of the world, and no more agendas.
Yes, it’s really not that hard to figure out.
