Bits 'n' Bobs

 

Introduction



Regarding the sexual.

Includes my article Sex Before Marriage? which is found after poem number 21.


"The ultimate intimacy belongs within the ultimate commitment."
Julia Duin

"Remove sexual morality and women are in greater danger of being assaulted and mistreated.”
The poet, author

Just as the ancient empires of Greece and Rome collapsed when every indulgence of the flesh
took over, we in our society today need to heed the warning.

Ruth Webb



In Sex and Culture, a study of 86 human civilizations ranging from Rome to Tahiti, J.D. Unwin found that
a society’s destiny is tied inseparably to the limits it imposes on sexual expression.


In The American Sex Revolution, Sorokin wrote that “both men and society are degraded” as a culture becomes “sexually obsessed.” “The members of such a society are habituated to look at the opposite sex as a mere instrument for pleasure…to these individuals, talk of human dignity, religious and moral commandments, and rules of decency is just bosh…the society degrades the values of womanhood and manhood, of motherhood and fatherhood, of childhood and venerable age, of marriage and family, and even of love itself.” Divorce, desertion, and deviance become commonplace, when “what used to be considered morally reprehensible is now recommended as a positive value; what was once called demoralization is now styled moral progress and a new freedom.”


"The more women dress sexy, the more men become lusty, and the more
 women become objectified."
The poet, author

"Femininity is power, sexiness is failure."
The poet, author

 




1.  When Sex Is A Bad Idea


Once upon a time there was sex, a special thing between a husband and wife,
Whose relationship benefited from such, it all part of the married life.
Well, as happens, certain ones wanted it outside of marriage too, and hence how
Females got well and truly used, their foolish “Yes” like a gun that went “Pow!”

And who got shot? They did. Boys and men having their fill and moving on, cruelly,
They not having to wait until marriage, and why marry anyway, you see,
It like sex on tap, one free of any responsibilities, but oh dear,
“What’s with that bulge?” And how many want to stay? And all why they soon disappear.

Yes,

You enjoying that sex because sex is great, but there’s always a risk attached,
And why, as happens, things somehow come home to roost, it a bad egg that was hatched.
And thus keeping sex for marriage not so silly after all, so mind that date,
’Cause if sex before marriage suits them, there’s a good chance you’ll wish you’d made them wait.

And not only might you be left with a kiddie that’s a handful, but oh dear,
Something else that’s rather embarrassing, painful — and surely my meaning’s clear.
Hence why multiple partners aren’t such a good idea, and nor divorce, you know,
For where’s that new spouse been too? And this why our poor choices oft act like some foe.

By Lance Landall





2.  Don't Soil Your Woman


So many are treating the abnormal as if it is normal, which is how normal it soon becomes,
That is, in the mind of those people who desire such aberrance, or who have simply not done their sums.
Yes, it’s sad how many put sense, principle and fairness to one side in order to fulfil desires,
And nowhere is this seen more clearly than when it comes to sex, and hence the deviant that soon transpires.

And why so many men wrongly convince or pressure their partner to do this or that sexually,
Which simply amounts to a form of abuse, and very much so where one is talking perversity.
But at the least, such manipulation is the product of those who are acting very selfishly;
And who have probably been encouraged or influenced by the easily accessed pornography.

Or by modern day gurus who preach that anything’s okay if both are willing to participate,
Which is not only plain nonsense, but how ill within society is soon seen to accelerate.
For in their haste to embrace such nonsense, many leave behind what actually does count for something,
Something far more important than they realised, or didn’t want to realise, happy to try anything.

And hence how the lives and marriages of many women are soiled and spoiled by such gross absurdity,
Or by their partner’s selfishness — here meaning, their attempt to enact some pornographic fantasy.
In other words, their attempt to make the perverse and injurious seen as fun and acceptable,
Even if that means leaving their spouse feeling used or abused, an object, or plain uncomfortable.


By Lance Landall





3.  It's Sex, Not Love


When sex isn't part of a loving, committed relationship, all it is,
Is an animal affair, be that selfish gratification her’s or his.
There's no true emotional attachment, and bearing in mind that love will wait,
But not lust, that lack of self-control, and hence that one night stand, casual date.

It’s no small matter, solo mothers abounding, and fatherless kids, it SEX,
Not LOVE, and plain irresponsible, a careless attitude, and then, who’s next?
Lives being abused everywhere, the body fair game, or so it appears,
No good coming out of it, and the consequences oft going on for years.

Pro-choice aiding and abetting, just providing a way around things, and thus
No facing up; morality not simply just something to do with Jesus,
But something that helps protect, Christian or non-Christian, or conned one may well be,
So don’t fool yourself, and why I’d wait, and make him wait, thus acting prudently.


By Lance Landall





4.  When Will Men Get It?


Men are turned on by the visual, but women are turned on by love, and so,
If you want good sex, husbands, love your wives — in other words, thought and kindness show.
Yes, it’s pretty much that simple — happy wife, happy sex — something men should know,
Women not turned on by nudity, but that sensitivity men should show.

So, forget that macho nonsense, that male stripper thing, such nothing but a game,
It childish and unintelligent, hardly the stuff to ignite a flame.
Women not aroused by such, despite some buying into that silly scene, and
Just adding to the folly of it, rather than taking a more mature stand.

And wives should also remember just how much the visual stirs men, and so,
They minding lest they foster that horniness from which disappointment can grow.
Men finding it hard to keep their hands off their wife whose sexy attire oft stirs,
And thus how women make things harder and worse, and why more so, their husband errs,

Because too much arousal occurs. However,

An activated male motor aids a man’s loving care (where his heart is pure),
Men having been designed that way, but love first and foremost always being the cure.
Yes, happy wife, happy sex, she feeling wanted for herself, not her body,
’Cause our body’s merely a thing, just a vessel for one’s personality.

In other words, that person we are, and thus we putting people before things,
Love before sex — and via doing so, it’s not long before that pretty bird sings;
Women basking in their husbands love, they only too happy to oblige, and
This how a woman is truly aroused herself, just like Mother Nature planned.

Yes, love turns women on, love that’s free of lusty eyes and erring groping hands,
Because lusty eyes and erring groping hands have more to do with one night stands.
Hence that, “Hello, I know what he’s after,” sad sigh, it all to common, frankly,
Hence why love’s candle oft merely flickers rather than burning passionately,

Husbands letting their wife down badly.

But Hollywood would have us believe anything but the truth, and why we see,
Half naked women acting just as horny and aggressive sexually,
And love having nothing to do with it, it more like an animal affair,
And the irony is, many women who’d agree with me, still sit and stare.

Yes, funny what many condemn in real life, but accept when it’s acted out,
They effectively condoning such a lie, when love is what it’s all about.
All why sex outside of a lasting relationship is a travesty too,
It nothing but selfish gratification, something that true love’s not into,

So when will women get it too?

In summary, men and women operate on two different levels, so,
It’s not about what men expose, but about that love and care that they should show.
Otherwise, they’re wasting their time, the visual not doing it for women,
But just for men, who, thinking the opposite, get it wrong time and time again.

Yes, “Get it off!” some women yell, and some are even viewing pornography too,
But in the general scheme of things, such is hardly what women are into.
There may be exceptions, some women more like men, and some men more like women,
But men are still men, and women are still women, who, aren’t aroused quite like men,

At the drop of a hat, or should I say robe, and they wanting it there and then.

By Lance Landall





5.  Tinder's Young And Dead


Yes, young and dead, another victim of Tinder, that one night stand carry on,
And why now (after he’d got his way so quickly, then taken her life) she’s gone.
Yes, she taking a risk no woman should, knowing nought of him but what he’d said,
Most very lean with the truth, hence how many women end up battered or dead.

Though men shouldn’t batter or kill, there are men who will, and they don’t advertise,
Hence why women shouldn’t rush, evil often hiding behind a pack of lies.
Devil’s aren’t two horned, except in ones imagination, and why looks deceive,
Many women falling for that same old package, serpent they shouldn’t believe.

She dying in that hotel bed after some bizarre fetish, it all so sad,
And he in prison after more lies — and left behind, a grieving mum and dad.
And more grieving mums and dads there’ll be until women decide to say, “No,”
Or at least wait until the truth of some interested guy they better know.

Once in bed and pinned to the bed (and worse where cries can’t be heard), what can they do?
Sex given before they really know whether his intentions are false or true.
But doubt falling on all who’re too quick to give or take, for where’s the sense in that?
Better men and women controlling their desires, sex hardly where it’s at.

Yes, you can do with your body what you wish, sex it up, yield it, and so on;
And despite the selfishness and sickness that’s out there, that’s where many have gone,
And paid a price, ’cause some things that we’ve a right to do aren’t always wise to do,
And can simply play into the hands of someone who isn’t thinking of you.

And so, young and dead, all because of the right to do something that wasn’t wise,
Yet, so many going on about that right, forgetful that she’s not alive.
Choice not just about rights, but sense, thus her life sacrificed for a one night stand,
Of whom she really knew nothing at all, and for whom no wedding she had planned.

And so, going on about her right to act so simply encourages more,
Who, rather than having learnt to put sense first, tempt evil to add to its score.
Yes, much like standing near the edge of a cliff where someone might bump or push us,
And yet (should we survive), those who bumped or pushed would be the object of our fuss,

Thus point lost, at what cost?


By Lance Landall






Regarding the song "Sex Bomb" sung by Tom Jones.


6.  "Sex Bomb?"


From one man to another, and with the greatest of respect,
Was it profit or blinkers that saw such a silly song picked?
I mean, really, Tom, “Sex Bomb?” Hence why I’m left shaking my head,
'Cause is sex all some think about, and if so, what lies ahead?

No, I’m not Victorian, just wondering where’s common sense,
Given that your sphere of influence, via your music, is immense.
You’re just giving sex a bad name and painting it bawdy blue,
And, sadly, many think it's cool, when it's really quiet askew.

Sex isn’t for messing with, it’s a loving intimate act,
Or at least it’s meant to be, and used to be, and that’s a fact.
Now you’re making it look tacky, sleazy, an animal act,
And when it is reduced to such, it’s just porn, another fact.

A sex bomb is clearly an object, just something to be had,
Something to be stared at lustfully — selfishly, I might add.
You’re distorting the picture, Tom, and using women for gain;
'Cause it’s making you money, but not a sound use of one’s brain.

Calling a woman that is hardly a compliment, Tom, no,
In fact, far from it, 'cause it’s degrading, and very much so.
Once you’d get a slap for that, and deservedly so, I say,
But who would want to call a woman a sex bomb anyway?

It’s far from manly prancing about shouting out “Sex Bomb,” Tom,
And tell me, where did you get such a ridiculous song from?
Yes, it’s really quite childish, a playground mentality,
Something that one would expect from kids, who lack maturity.

So,

From one man to another, and with the greatest of respect,
You've not done women any favours, but more damage, I suspect.
Nor men any favours, I must add, which is rather a shame,
And why it is that so many are treating sex like a game.

And as for the rest of the song, I think it’s appalling, Tom.

By Lance Landall





7.  Serious Fools, And Then There's Sex


Mike turned into the drive and pulled up barely an inch away from the garage door,
His friend watching from an old veranda, mock concern showing from his gaping jaw.
“Close call, mate. Keep that up and you’ll be in for a new door, and a panel job too.”
“Naa,” Mike laughed, “It’s what you call skill,” which had Matt laughing now, though in this case, such was true.

Matt’s full hand rose toward Mike. “Here, have a can, mate. I’ve just been enjoying the sun.
I thought I could do with the break, given all the lifting and shifting I’ve just done.”
“Finally got around to it, ay,” Mike replied, lifting the can to his waiting lips.
“Yea, and I’m glad I did, as it was badly needed,” Matt muttered in-between sips.

Mike put his can down. “I hear Sandra left Daren?” Now Matt put his can down. “Yea, mate,
I saw that one coming, especially given the way I’ve seen him operate.”
“Yea,” Mike responded, “He can be pretty thoughtless at times, lacks sensitivity;
He’s actually quite a selfish guy, seemingly more concerned about his money.”

Matt nodded his head. “It’s a common theme.”  “How do you mean?” Mike asked, interestedly,
And he picked up his can again, took a long sip, and looked at Matt questioningly.
“Well, there’s some really lovely women out there — and many, very attractive too;
Yes, women worth their weight in gold, who just about anything for their man would do.

The problem is, they end up with guys who really don’t appreciate the wife they’ve got,
And to be quite frank, some of these guys I’m talking about, aren’t that difficult to spot.
It really amazes me, given that these women can pick and choose, but there you go;
Is it just poor judgment? Are they conned? Have they a self-esteem issue? I just don’t know.

When you get a woman like that, indeed any woman, but more so one so good,
The last thing you do is mistreat her, or somehow, act differently to what you should.
You don’t go taking such women for granted, but rather, treat them like priceless treasure,
And by so doing, will receive in response, a joy and happiness beyond measure.

So many guys need to get their act together, and treat their wife like a princess,
Rather than letting her down, causing her pain, unnecessary worry or stress.
Seems they’re far too busy, are out with the boys, or childishly trying to impress,
And sad to say, seemingly only attentive when they’re wanting her to undress.”

“On that note,” Mike chipped in, “Do some women fuel such, given the raunchy way they dress,
And even those women in general, who publicly, are baring more and not less?”
“Oh, for sure,” Matt replied, “And that’s why women are oft just seen as sex objects, I guess,
Men acting naturally, drawn to such, yet women complaining, it all a mess.

At the end of the day, with rights comes thought and responsibility, and therefore,
Though women can dress as they wish, they should mind what a man’s eye finds hard to ignore.
After all, men are made that way, they very visual, thus stirred so easily,
Sexiness and nakedness turning them on,
 it a real battle for them, sadly.

And to digress: I was feeling bad about our middle-aged neighbour, Bill Cleary,
And how some young women called him a pervert when he cast a glance their way recently.
It’s okay for us young males, seemingly, but woe betide males somewhat elderly,
Who, at the end of the day, are still males too, and males can’t help being males, quite frankly.

Knowing Bill, I’m sure he meant no harm, and the sexy way most girls dress now, dear me,
It’s pretty hard not to look, thus I think Bill might have taken it rather badly.
Women want men to change, but men can hardly change their makeup, and so stare they do,
Though many trying not to, like Bill, no doubt, and he a decent man through and through.”


Mike unfurled his long legs, sipping from his can of lemonade contemplatively.
“Oh dear,” he replied, “Sorry to hear that. Yes, he’s a lovely guy, wouldn’t harm a flee,
And he was probably thinking back to his younger days, and no doubt pensively,
But you know, it must be hard for these older guys now, given the sexuality.

By that I mean, things were hardly like this in their day, women dressed far more modestly,
And today there’s so much promiscuity, some girls leading guys on blatantly.
I guess some of these older guys must feel that they’re missing out, rightly or wrongly,
Thus, it must be pretty tough on them, so in their face, and doesn't seem fair to me.”

“I agree,” echoed Matt, “And it must be hard on married guys too, quite honestly,
Given one can dial a prostitute — or via a computer, bring up pornography.
Such must be quite a temptation, which is why I guess many act unfaithfully,
For even if they’ve a gorgeous wife, they’re confronted with stirring bodies daily,

All of which is adding to the issue of men’s behaviour, and most destructively.

Having said that though, and getting back to what we were talking about previously,
Such still doesn't give men an excuse for treating any woman injuriously.
It’s the old story, we should always treat others as we would like them to treat us,
And if we all adhered to such wisdom, there wouldn’t be half the trouble or fuss.

But why some men trample on a partner they’re so blessed to have, really baffles me,
Thus, not only destroying her joy and happiness, but their own, effectively.
And often, as a result, losing her eventually, such never to regain,
A cost that’s not worth paying, and one that leaves them without any right to complain.”

They both looked up as another car turned into the drive, a young woman at the wheel,
And the pleasure on both Mike and Matt’s face was something that neither lad could conceal.
Rushing to the convertible’s door, they reached to open it, laughter in their eyes,
Provoking a bewildered reaction, “Okay, okay, what’s going on you guys?”

By Lance Landall


Note: Names mentioned are fictitious.
This poem was altered somewhat and added to on 9 May 2021.

I would also recommend the reading of my poem How Can Men Take Women Seriously?
which is found on my page Concern For Men.






8.  Girl Power


Whatever “girl power” may be, I know what it should be, what it needs to be,
And that is, the strength to say “No” to those demands that are selfish and lusty.
No girl letting some boy do what she doesn’t want him to do, and saying so,
Despite any pressure from him or others, that he and they may clearly know.

“Girls can do anything,” I hear said, but if they can’t say, “No, take a hike,” then
They not only hole their “girl power” ship, but declare that sad weakness to men.
And that’s where the term “sissy” really belongs, not with saying, “No, take a hike,”
’Cause saying “Yes” makes that whole “girl power” thing look like a rather wobbly bike.

If we don’t take the tough path when we’re young, chances are we won’t when we’re older,
And hence why I can’t stress enough the importance of young folk acting bolder.
And here, those girls being pressured, because once they say, “Yes,” the weaker they’ll be,
And thus “girl power” meaning nothing, they slaves to their own inadequacy.

Life’s all about standing up and standing tall, not because ones a girl or boy,
But because right is right and wrong is wrong, and as far as girls go, they not some toy.
Hence why they shouldn’t play that game either, because that’s how they’ll share in the blame,
Sex not where it’s at, but love and commitment, our choices how we lose or gain,

Invite joy or shame.

Coping flack and losing friends because of a noble stand is par for the course,
How we grow and become our own person, not someone else’s obedient horse.
And so, if girls don’t want to be used, sex before marriage should be refused, and
“Girl power” then a reality — and soon despatched, that selfish one night stand.

By Lance Landall





9.  Why Much Needs Saying About Sex


The truth is, that the wholesomeness of sex, and its appropriate place in life,
Has suffered badly, it now corrupted, less to do with a husband and wife.
It savaged and sullied by porn and lust, one night stands, obsessive exposure,
It’s true purpose and value lost on most, and why of their shame so many boast.

No, there’s no restraint, every beneficial boundary sacked, it all on,
Society now awash with debauchery, chivalry and honour gone.
Movies full of it, television fuelling it, and as for computers, well,
A click of that worrying mouse and there’s every kind of sexual ill.

Yes, it’s become the downfall of many a man, a hole some women have dug,
They staring in porn, dressing to kill, and when approached ’bout such, there’s just a shrug.
No one accepting responsibility, sex just like a lolly scramble,
Everyone at it, and why into brothels even the elite amble.

Yes, everyone has played a part, except for those who’ve tried to stem the tide,
Though mocked for their efforts; white no longer the choice of many a blushing bride.
Kids wanting to know who their father is, other kids fearing their father, who,
Enters their bedroom with lecherous intent — and under the sun, nothing new.

So when will we learn having not learnt? And if this is freedom, pity help us,
And why it’s high time we alighted from the sexual revolution bus.
It has taken us nowhere and yet everywhere, we all over the place,
And that smugness is soon to be wiped off our guilty, self-serving, carnal face;

As if we can’t see the baleful results already, the folly and disgrace.


By Lance Landall





10.  Hung Up On Sex


Sex — love making, that is — is a beautiful thing in its right place,
But unfortunately, overindulgence is often the case.
Likewise, once folk used to eat to live, whereas, now folk live to eat,
And hence why more and more these days, unbridled appetites we meet.

When anything is overdone, it soon suffers in quality,
Hence, new titillations are devised, when the problem’s frequency.
You see, Christmas every day of the week would soon lose its luster, and,
The same would be true if every day one visited Disneyland.

We’ve turned a beautiful, fulfilling experience — sex — into
Something routine, unsatisfying and dull, and debased it too.
And all because we have wrongly made frequency the driving force,
Have become obsessed with sex, cheapened it, turned it into what's coarse.

Indulging in sex excessively just results in an early
Reduction in vitality and function, generally.
Anything can be abused, but an overindulgence in sex can
Bring on a toxic state that can imperil health and illness fan.

You see, misused sex drives become all consuming, and I must say,
Can never be satisfied, the sexual being dwelt on all day.
In other words, friend, we’re talking lust, an unbridled appetite,
Which eventually, only the corrupted will stir, fire, excite.

By that I mean, healthy, normal sex will no longer be the attraction,
Which somewhere down the track leads to marital dissatisfaction.
But why drain the life force via exchanging quality for quantity,
And via a corrupted excitement that inflames injuriously.

A lack of discipline in our lives displays immaturity,
And leads to damaged relationships, practices that aren’t healthy.
There’s always a price for corrupting or overdoing things,
A price that more often than not, friend, serious misery brings.

Yes, keep it pure, under control, selfless, and within the marriage.


By Lance Landall





11.  Undisciplined Desire


Have you ever, prior to Christmas day, visited the Christmas tree,
And paused at your presents, opening them up just enough to see?
If you have, I’m sure you’ll admit that when Christmas day came along,
Things just didn’t seem quite the same, and your feelings weren’t quite as strong.

Well, so it is with marriage, when prior to marriage, with sex we play,
For when marriage comes along, it’s an anti-climax, as they say.
It’s like something is missing, but what? Things just don’t quite seem to swing,
Which is hardly surprising given that sex came before the ring.

Yes, there’s nothing quite like unlocking what’s exciting to explore,
But those things that we have to wait for we appreciate far more.
For whenever a door is opened — that is, prematurely

We inevitably find that we have spoilt what could better be.

Marriage isn’t temporary — no, it’s a permanent affair,
One that's meant to last a lifetime, and hence that need to take great care.
For how we enter into marriage will determine its success,
But rather than remain here, if I may, I would like to digress.

Imagine that you have made love with someone who's now not with you,
And here we’re talking a one night stand, a fling, perhaps a few.
And let’s say that you’re married now, and that you spot them in the street;
Tell me, how would you feel, and would you avoid them, or stop and greet?

One thing that I’m trying to say here, is, would you feel a sense of guilt,
That is, given that your marriage on fidelity wasn’t built?
After all, you made love to others, and now, it’s somewhat too late,
For you’re hardly the faithful type, as, for marriage you didn’t wait.

Thus your marriage isn’t special, for you’ve been intimate before,
Yes, it’s just another union, another port, another shore.
You see, you’ve hurt your spouse already, for with others you have shared
What was only meant for just one, and thereby, a flaw have declared.

So when you are making love now, do you those past lovers compare
With the one that you’re married to, or perhaps some flashbacks appear?
Do you thereby feel dissatisfied? Was a past lover more skilled?
Oh, if only you hadn’t known. Has your delight been somewhat killed?

Doors opened prematurely, or opened when they shouldn’t be,
Can eventually lead to so much heartache and misery.
And at best, they can simply spoil what so much better would have been,
If we had simply waited, and not let foolishness intervene.

No, intimacy outside of marriage was never meant to be,
For it’s designed for a lifetime bond that protects the family.
Therefore, when it’s used outside its realm, it is nothing more than lust,
In other words, just plain selfishness, on which one can not build trust.

Hence why your body’s intimate realm should be kept just for marriage,
And why you shouldn't flaunt it, share it, but keep it in its garage.
And when marriage comes along, to your spouse you can then such reveal,
And via such, a special bond is formed — a unique, intimate seal.

This way there are no skeletons, no tales, and there's no loss or guilt,
Which means you’ll have a relationship that on solid ground is built.
And that you will both share together what nobody else has shared,
Yes, something that's private and special, something that can’t be compared.


By Lance Landall





12.  Sex Ain't Love


For some reason, many equate sex with love, and I guess that's why they’re jumping in and out of bed,
Aside from plain promiscuity, fuelled by all the sexual nonsense people are being fed.
While sex is part and parcel of a loving relationship, it's hardly love, and never will be,
'Cause sex is sex, love is love, and the one thing true love doesn’t do is, use sex self indulgently.

So many who're looking for love, and a love that's true, seem to think that they will find such in a bed,
When the truth of the matter is, that’s hardly where love's found, and why later, so many tears are shed.
'Cause love is not an act, but an attitude, though one that reveals itself in selfless, loving acts,
Not in bedroom encounters that have more to do with self, lust and confusion, and that twist the facts.

So many who are willing to jump into bed, can't see that they’re just being used, even abused,
Hence why those relationships that are formed via such encounters, leave many empty, angry and bruised.
'Cause like a pair of shoes that have been tried on, they’re soon discarded, or conveniently called on,
Given that commitment seems like a foreign word to many, who their clothes more oft remove than don.

Or so it seems, 'cause much of such amounts to nothing more than animal acts parading as love,
Or to put it another way, behaviour that's motivated more by what’s lower than above.
All why men and women shouldn’t sell their body so, 'cause those who do, effectively sell their soul,
And via their foolish doing so, simply become nothing but another person’s watering hole.

By Lance Landall


This poem was tweaked throughout on 22 May 2023.

Though sensual feelings are part and parcel of our make up, it's only when they come under the
higher powers, and are employed at the appropriate time and place, that they are in tune with love.






13.  Sex For Sex Sake


Once upon a time, sex was seen as belonging to marriage; a permanent union built on loyalty,
Where as well as enjoying the pleasure of making love, one was also able to raise a family.
And there, midst that security, both planned and unplanned kids could grow and thrive, and marital health as well,
'Cause there in that home, due to self sacrifice and commitment, both couple and kids would happily dwell.

Well, times have changed, and sex is no longer seen as belonging to marriage, and nor a relationship,
But as something to be had on a whim with whoever takes your fancy, condoms at one’s fingertips.
Yes, sex for sex sake, hence those multiple partners, one night stands, and those sad consequences that have come,
Because consequences are inevitable when in the other direction swings the pendulum.

When we use our body so recklessly, who knows what we may thus bequeath, leave as our legacy,
Let alone what we suffer personally, 'cause there’s always a price attached to promiscuity.
And the first thing that such will cost is our soul, 'cause our soul and body are one, our very privacy;
That being, our whole self, an intimacy best kept for one, who also lays claim to our body.

But no one can lay claim to a body that's been shared with others, 'cause others have rifled its booty,
And thereby have left it empty of its intimacy, its secret chambers now soiled permanently.
'Cause where the newcomer may go, others have been there before, and have left a part of themselves behind,
'Cause their entry didn’t just sack those inner chambers, but in passing, signed the guest book in our mind.


By Lance Landall


This poem was tweaked throughout on 22 May 2023.





14.  "There's The Door"


If he wants to touch you intimately, and he’s not your spouse, quickly say, “No,”
Otherwise you’re simply looking at lust, a signal of what in time may show.
In other words, if he can’t wait, he’s less likely to be faithful, trustable,
And it best he go, he probably going anyway once he’d had his fill.

So don’t say, “Yes,” nor just let it happen somehow, for that’s how women get used,
And one way or another suffer, love and sex too often being confused.
If he can’t stand the test of time, how much does he really love you? Not enough,
So don’t accept his lusty wants, nor fall for any self-serving, “I love you,” stuff.

Your body was hardly meant to be cherished and enjoyed by more than one man,
And thus only your husband, or that special intimacy won’t fit the plan.
In other words, it won’t be special if you’ve shared it with someone else, who then,
No doubt will paw some other women, as if such is acceptable for men.

Oh yes, just like bees going from flower to flower, they selfishly busy,
And oft knowing that they won’t be hanging around, not that they’ll say, quite frankly.
’Cause then you might not say, “Yes,” and “No” isn’t what many are wanting to hear,
For they’ve oft just one thing in mind; and what they’ve picked up elsewhere, they may well share.

So best you say, “There’s the door.”


By Lance Landall





15.  How My Heart Weeps


Oh, how my heart weeps, for soon, where will we find the unsoiled woman, but gone,
Both her younger mind and innocent body having been cruelly set upon.
She having been ogled for sexual potential, as if just a body,
And her mind having been manipulated to yield — and who’s saying sorry?

Freedom, some call it, but freedom for who, those guys who’ve always wanted their way,
Those guys who’ve always tried it on, those guys that girls should’ve seen coming their way.
Hence why my heart weeps, girls defrauding themselves by saying, “Yes,” ’cause soon is seen,
Those guys moving on to their next conquest, and oft some kid showing where they’ve been.

I’m just moralizing, you say,

No, I’m simply tired of seeing young girls pawed, okay, kneeling to base desires,
And thereby they stoking those consuming coals on their own destructive fires.
Guys just using them, but when it comes to marriage, “No, not those ones, not at all,”
They wanting what they call a decent girl — yes, I know, it nothing but a gall.

Young girls lied to: “Saving yourself for the right guy, marriage, is old fashioned!” — well,
It’s surely better than being used, just another horse on some carousel.
One that young women (and even older ones) need to get off, they worse for wear,
And when it comes to that horse ride, it’s usually them who’s paying the fare.

The failure of women to understand how men are stirred by a whiff of sex
Is a constant source of trouble for them, hence their need of a new pair of specs.
Yes, God’s advice looking more protective than restrictive, and as for Him, well,
He no fuddy-duddy, misusing things always resulting in certain ill.

Letting folk use us just leads to lowered self-esteem, depression and anger,
And sexiness simply fuelling lust, like petrol on a fire, yet still girls err.
And used they’ll continue to be whilst they still indulge in promiscuity,
Hence why my heart weeps, for soon, where will we find the unsoiled woman, but gone,

Set upon, with her authority.

Oh yes, how my heart weeps, so many nice young girls plundered, their good father sad,
He knowing full well that in this sex obsessed world that there’s both good men and bad.
And those good fathers teaching their sons better, but where will better girls be found?
All why young women shouldn’t become horses on that grubby merry-go-round.


By Lance Landall






The following two poems have been penned because oral sex has become epidemic amongst
the promiscuous young and is linked to throat and mouth cancer. See quote under this poem.


16.  "I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Woman."


Yes,

Famous words from a past American president, words that were far from true,
And that still aren’t true, ’cause oral sex is sex alright, though not in some girls’ view.
They wanting to remain a virgin whilst meantime yielding to demands, and so
It’s only in their mouth that some boy’s penis is foolishly allowed to go.

They as askew in their thinking as that president looking for some loophole,
One belonging to a world of fantasy and fiction, some burrowing mole.
’Cause whether it be the vagina or mouth, it’s still entering the body,
Erect and with intent, permission having been given, and perilously.

Yes,

Not only linked to cancer of the mouth and throat, but as sex as sex can be,
And more so, it not just entering, but mouthed too, albeit disgustingly.
No, not too many showers beforehand, not that that necessarily stops
What some poor girl or should-have-known-better woman eventually cops.

And when all is said and done, they hardly virginal, because one thing is clear,
Such girls are indeed having a sexual relationship right then and there.
And thus there goes that special intimacy meant for marriage alone, one boy,
Which, come the right boy, will have robbed those two of a deeper happiness and joy,

A penis a penis, an orifice and orifice — so, I'd mind that boy.

Surely you get my point, other boys having entered via a different means,
And torn the hymen of her soul, though she could’ve said, “No,” shunned those unzipped jeans.
And now, her future spouse at the end of the cue, her lips having been elsewhere,
She reminded when those same boys pass, who, her name and compliance no doubt share.

By Lance Landall


According to www.netdoctor.co.uk:
“Today’s high rates of oral sex are linked to the rising incidence of throat and mouth cancer.”
That same website also contained this:
"According to the American Association for Cancer Research, more than 50 per cent of all oral
cancers are now HPV related."





17.  All's Not Acceptable


No, all’s not acceptable come a couple’s intimacy, sexually,
Despite any contemporary voice that’s saying things to the contrary.
And here I’m referring to oral sex, which no man should demand or expect,
But rather, every woman’s right to be treated honourably, should respect.

The plain truth is, that a man’s penis was meant for one place and one place alone,
Not a woman’s mouth, such acts having more to do with that debased red light zone.
A place where men sink as low as their infamous desires, and where woman lose,
And why anything that’s deviant or born of lust a woman should refuse.

Such practices stem from the mind and not the heart, unless one’s heart is ill too,
For nothing should be used out of order, and nor should sex emulate a zoo.
In other words, it shouldn’t be reduced to an animal act, love elsewhere,
Such being the sad case with oral sex, for each others lips and heart should be near.

In other words, a man should retain his dignity, and also a woman hers,
Their intimacy loving, considerate and noble, lest ill somehow stirs.
And it does where men desire and are granted a lustful opportunity,
One that has more to do with using and abusing — so women, don’t agree!

Yes, for not only is oral sex an unhealthy practice, but degrading,
And why from such the injurious is seen to spring, and with it, trouble bring.
For such has more to do with porn than selfless giving, thought, love and decency,
And thus why it’s risen with the steady decline that’s plaguing society.

By Lance Landall


Funny how the Bible says, “...and let the marriage bed be undefiled...”






18.  Fences


My dear young woman, and remembering that it takes a man to know a man,
Make sure you stay on your side of the fence ’till he’s proven himself, which you can,
If you put sense before feelings, ’cause should you not, you’ll kill his motivation,
He having got what he wanted, and you causing your own situation.

Yes, stay on your side, and see he stays on his side, ’cause if he’s not genuine
(And appearances can often be deceiving), you will lose and he will win.
You simply used and he gone, or he proving to be poor material, and
Too late you will find this out, and with other victims, will regrettably stand.


By Lance Landall





19.  Say "No" Or "Go"


Many women have brought trouble on themselves by not saying “No” to some man,
Allowing him to do or get what worked against her, aiding some selfish plan.
Hence why women should make clear what they will or won’t accept, thus raising the bar,
Even minding those little things, which in time, might see some man going too far.

And this also applies to young girls dating, or simply hanging out with boys,
Given that succumbing to certain desires can see them treated like toys.
In other words, hurt, set up for misery-cum-a baby and poverty,
After having been badly used, which some people might rightly call treachery.

Yes, condemned he should be, but oh, if only she'd said “No,” or told him to go,
Which would’ve helped that boy to grow; or which would’ve helped that older man to grow.
And in time, many males wishing that that woman or girl had in fact said “No,”
’Cause such kicked back at them too, and thoughtfulness being a two way street, you know.

So, dear woman, mind that sweet talk, and that though he may tick most boxes of yours,
There could well be a hidden knife or two in them, which later, much pain could cause.
Yes, he may well look the part, act the part, but that’s how it is with conmen too,
Hence why females should do their homework and keep some distance until he proves true.



By Lance Landall





20.  I Wish She'd Said "No"


If your boyfriend pressures you to do something that's best not done,
Please say, “No,” lest later on, you regret what you didn’t shun.
And in fact, even he may also wish that you had said “No,”
'Cause pain could afflict you both and deliver a hammer blow.

Then you blaming him, and he blaming you, for the misery;
That being, the consequences of your “Yes,” that laxity.
Sure he pressured you, but you could’ve and should’ve still said “No,”
Though you’re both responsible as far as any results go.

And that’s why he’s feeling somewhat justified in blaming you,
Given that as far as a tango goes, it does take two.
And you quite able to say "No,” 'cause you have freedom of choice,
But instead, and for whatever reason, you bowed to his voice.

And so it goes, unfortunately, and far too commonly,
The “Yes,” the pain, the blame, the falling-out, eventually.
And all because of one little word that gave him the okay,
One that sometimes is too unwise or injurious to say.

Yes, “I wish she’d said no,” is what many boys have no doubt said,
After the seed that was sown proved to be but an arrowhead.
One that entered her heart, and bloodied him too, consequently,
A bullet that ricocheted, a boomerang, effectively.

I’m not unsympathetic towards those girls who're pressured so,
'Cause pressuring I don’t condone, and it’s the tool of a foe.
However, it must be said that it’s that “Yes” that opens the gate,
And that it’s those girls who say “Yes” who problems for both create.

Where you’re unlawfully forced, it’s not your fault, which we all know,
But when you say, “Yes,” you are the creator of your own woe;
That is, if you said “Yes” to the wrong thing, such always unwise,
And a sure way to see trouble and unhappiness arise.

By Lance Landall






Christian content or degree.


21.  From Holy Appreciation To Unholy Inspection


After having created Adam (a male), God created Eve (a female),
Both living in a perfect environment until self was seen to prevail.
And sad to say, that’s where all the problems between men and women began, and
That loss of beauty, wholesomeness, respect, peace and harmony that God had planned.

Though there are women today who’re drop dead gorgeous too, they’d hardly outshine Eve,
Who, must have absolutely stunned Adam (pure in thought and action, I believe).
Their everyday nakedness so normal and natural to them, until
That fateful day when God’s warning was ignored, enter strife and sexual ill.

Only then did they realise they were naked, only then did thoughts go astray,
Focus and motive taking a permanent turn for the worse, it’s sad to say.
Thus man not thinking like he once had, and therefore, women needing protection,
Man’s gaze having gone from holy appreciation to unholy inspection.

And all why God chose to clothe them both (hearts and minds now corrupted and weakened),
Man unable to rightly handle that same beauty and nakedness, sense binned.
Yes, man’s thoughts more selfish, his passions less controlled, sex now his Achilles heel,
And all of which the happiness that could’ve been, lust and assaults were seen to steal.

Yes, men struggling with their eyes and thoughts now, which women aren’t helping, by the way,
Loin stirring sexiness making it harder for weakened man, all why men stray.
More so men who’re wrongly steered as boys, or who’ve been sexually messed up somehow,
And there being legions of them, who at the throne of porn and all, sadly bow.

Men are instantly drawn to the sexy, even a hint of nudity,
And thus only strong moral brakes controlling them — that is, if they have any.
Their fallenness only countered by a higher controlling force, and therefore,
Laws of no help — and with men being visual, such flesh so hard to ignore.

Yes, it’s hard on men, and it doesn’t help their case when it comes to women, who,
Aren’t helping their case when it comes to that pure state that Adam and Eve first knew.
And which a woman was originally blessed by, and still should be blessed by,
Adam’s rib proof of her equality, dominance how relationships die.

And therefore, women need to try and ease this situation, despite their rights,
’Cause objectify, men will, where nudity or sexiness glare like headlights.
Such activating their loins, or that fallenness, all why sex should stay at home,
And not the corridors of Hollywood, nor the likes of public places, roam.


By Lance Landall







Sex Before Marriage?


Sex before marriage displays a lack of control that doesn't bode well for a future marriage.
Sex before marriage usually gives to others what only one person is meant to get.
Sex before marriage can lead to unwanted children, that solo mother syndrome, all its hardships, and fatherless children.
Sex before marriage simply uses people for ones own selfish gratification. Love can wait to give, but lust can't wait to get.
Sex before marriage removes the motivation to work on the relationship, to truly win over the other person, and makes it easy for men to have their fill and go — men often losing interest in them after having had sex. So many men simply having sex with someone in order to fulfill certain short term psychological goals. And thus sex before marriage actually delaying marriage.
Sex before marriage shows that someone dosen't respect you enough to wait until the wedding night. And therefore, you'll be even less respected.
Sex before marriage lessens the solemnity of having children.
Sex before marriage makes marriage appear immaterial, and why marriages are taken less seriously.
Sex before marriage removes that very special memory making moment of a married couple's first night together.
Sex before marriage can be likened to forcing a door, prising a window open, or opening presents before the due date.
Sex before marriage removes protections that work in our best interests and that thereby spares us from heartache.
Sex before marriage means we've settled for less.
Sex before marriage is empty because it lacks commitment.
Sex before marriage can actually ruin a relationship.
Sex before marriage isn't honourable.
Sex before marriage leads to greater pain when the relationship is ended.
Sex before marriage is risky because condoms don't always work.
Sex before marriage ignores the fact that sexual intercourse immediately changes everything between two people.
Sex before marriage can damage your reputation and future.
Sex before marriage can create a pattern.
Sex before marriage with multiple sexual partners means that in the future you will have had sex with someone else's wife or husband.
Sex before marriage with multiple sexual partners can lead to one getting or giving some sexual disease.
Sex before marriage with multiple sexual partners affects our ability to properly bond come marriage. We won't feel as connected or committed.
Sex before marriage with multiple sexual partners can make those sexual encounters appear in ones mind when one is in the midst of marital intimacy; and comparisons will be drawn.
A survey of teenagers across the United States of America found that depression was far higher (three times more so) amongst those girls who were sexually active — in other words, who were indulging in premarital sex.
(National Longitudinal Study Of Adolescent Health, Wave II

And further to  but dating wise  and with some repetition:

Bear in mind,

That intimate settings encourage intimate actions.

That being alone together makes it easier for inappropriate and unwanted advances, and thus harder to counter any pressure.
That a young man’s hormonal state knows little of restraint and judgment, and hardly needs encouraging.
That youth has not yet developed its true tastes in others.
That in the scheme of things, sex is only but a part of the equation when it comes to marriage, so mind.
That once intimacy occurs, even petting, it’s harder to make detached, objective judgments. 
That you’ve every right to set boundaries and should.
That those who can’t wait don’t deserve, and are far more prone to marital unfaithfulness.
That users have a habit of loving and leaving.
That dressing sexy can work just as much against as for.
That frustration and desperation make for poor choices.
That those dating often hide their really bad points; thus one or two negatives can be a sampling.
That boys can read more into things than they should.
That feelings shouldn’t override sense.
That their lack of interest in, or little thought for your family, parents, is an ominous sign, a harbinger of marital unhappiness.
That he or she is a date and not your wife or husband, thus you’ve no conjugal rights even if they’re letting you indulge in such; and that an engagement doesn't alter this fact.
That allowing conjugal rights before marriage is a sure way to kill that motivation that’s essential in ensuring true intention and determining worthiness. After all, when a guy can get his hands on the goods beforehand, why would he necessarily want to hang around but move on to the next. Thus making him wait not only prevents being used, but tests him.
And that it's best to get to know as much as possible about them before starting a relationship.


Oh, Mandy, Mandy


Mandy wanted a husband, but gave herself to the boys,
They not into commitment, but simply playing with toys.
And she providing the pleasure, so play with her they did,
Until they found another playmate, and her, farewell bid.

Oh, Mandy, Mandy, why haven’t you and other girls learnt
That emulating a sex toy is how one just gets burnt.
Such users and abusers only eyeing the pantry,
And those obliging girls like you, always very handy.

By Lance Landall


Unfortunately, that "in love" inability to think and see straight, no doubt often plays a part here. With that in mind, here's an interesting excerpt from the book Boundaries In Dating by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend:

Being "in love," in the beginning of a relationship, is an illness. It is treatable, but it is an illness nevertheless. The illness is the inability to see reality. For the very state of "being in love" is a state of idealization, where the other person is not really viewed through the eyes of reality. He or she is mostly seen through the eyes of someone's own wishes or fantasies that the other person is able to symbolize. But often the fantasies are based on enough reality that the stage of idealization can move to something real and lasting.
The problem is that if the idealizations are strong enough, and the person's need for them to be true are strong enough, then he or she can omit large chunks of reality about the person they're in love with. This is why staying connected to a group of friends who know you well is so important. Your friends and often family can see things about your new love that you will not be able to see. And you should trust them. Unless there is something wrong in your relationships with them, or they are particularly dysfunctional, they will not be looking through the eyes of idealization and need and will see the person more clearly. Have you ever wondered how some people that you know and love were able to pick the difficult, or sometimes awful person that they are with? Do you think that the prince just one day turned into a frog? Most times not. The frog was always a frog, even if he was dressed up like a prince in courtship. But the princess was looking through the eyes of idealization or denial. Borrow your friends' vision. You might need it.