Concern For Men

 

Introduction


Some poems may seem as if for women, but actually contain thought for men. Hence my struggle as to where to put them.

My articles
Thoughts Regarding Men, and
The Dangers Of Porn
appear after poem number 25.





ALL IT TAKES IS THE WORDS OF A LYING WOMAN AND A MAN IS DONE, A SUPPOSED SEX
OFFENDER, AND AT HIS HEAD A LOADED GUN, AND HENCE HIS VULNERABLENESS, EVEN
CONCERN OR FEAR, BECAUSE HERE, MANY A MAN IS AT RISK TOO, IT NOT ALL ONE WAY, TO BE
FAIR, AND WHY IT ALL NEEDS THINKING THROUGH, GIVEN HIS WIFE AND KIDS WOULD BE
SCARRED AS WELL, THEIR HAPPINESS GOING ASTRAY, THUS FURTHERING THE HELL, AND
ALL WHY WE SHOULD MIND WHAT SOME WOMEN SAY.


Worth reading:

False Allegations: Investigative and Forensic Issues in Fraudulent Reports of Crime
by Brent E. Turvey, criminologist.
His research, and that of two co-authors (dispelling the notion that false sexual complaints are rare),
cites statistical studies and police crime reports. One academic study showing that as many as 40
percent of sexual assault charges are false.

“The power of any lie is equal only to our desire to believe it.”
Brent E. Turvey

Hence the quote:

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."
William Congreve
(1670-1729)



THOUGH DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS A TERRIBLE THING, WHICH FROM THE HANDS OF EITHER
SHOULD NEVER SPRING, IT'S OFTEN NOT HELPED BY PROVOCATION, A PARTICULAR, AGE-OLD
AGGRAVATION, OR SIMPLY A POOR RESPONSE TO ANY TROUBLING SITUATION, WHICH TESTOSTERONE DOESN'T ALWAYS HANDLE WELL, NOT THAT THAT'S EVER AN EXCUSE FOR SUCH ILL, BUT PURELY AND
SIMPLY REALITY, WHICH EVERY MARRIED COUPLE NEEDS TO SEE, GIVEN THAT IT'S OFTEN
WIVES WHO STAND GUILTY OF MUCH INJURY, VERBALLY OR PHYSICALLY.


"Men are just as likely to be the victims of violence in a relationship as women are...Women can be just as
violent as men, using all the same strategies of power and control, and with similar levels of force."
From the book: Loves Me Not by Lesley Elliott, the mother of murdered Sophie Elliott.






However:


A Man


A man is called,
To always act honourably;
To labour conscientiously;
To care for his wife and family, steering them in truth and right;
To shoulder blame, and bear with the shortcomings of others;
To live at peace with all men;
To live in harmony with Nature;
To treat creatures kindly;
To safeguard society’s best interests;
To stand against tyranny;
To expose falsehood and deception;
To protect the innocent and vulnerable;
To show compassion and mercy;
To win the respect of his enemies;
And to leave this world a better place for his having been.

By Lance Landall





To continue:


1.  Men, Lift Your Head Up

Men, when the world’s making fools of you, treating you as if you’re an enemy,
A threat to women and children, a brute, or one who would act unfaithfully,
And you’re none of these,
Lift your head up, still love and cherish your own, be proud of your manhood, your role,
And blessed be the supportive wife, so that together, you may both become whole,
And each moment seize.

Yes, don’t let the world dumb you down, bounce you around, have you believing its lies,
Men, men, women, women, their clear cut differences being what works and ties.
So, flex your masculinity, indulge your wife’s pleasing femininity;
You the home builder, she the home maker, but neither seeking supremacy.

“Women can do anything men can!” they’re shouting, thus killing the mystery,
And this being why you shouldn’t bow to such ignorant spiel or sophistry.
The world having lost its way, women hardly better off today, except where
Men are treating them rightly, just like you are, with tender loving thought and care.

No, none of us flawless, but oh, those unfair attacks on men, how they’re painted,
Leaving folk thinking that all men with the same unfortunate things are tainted.
Hence those Hollywood buffoons, criminals and predators, and the list goes on,
So lift your head up, you men, because only unfit men should be set upon.

At the end of the day, it is what it is, a boy and girl world, each a half,
’Till in marriage a whole; an androgynous society nought but a laugh.
Knights meant to be real, and women treated like princesses, but what do we see,
Men being hammered, women wearing the armour, and castles sitting empty.

And many men taking it lying down, they foolishly falling victim too,
Courtesy of political correctness, the feminists distorted view.
So honestly, you men, acceptance of faults being one thing (all humans flawed),
But retreating under fire? No, lift your head up, make sure your boats are still moored.

Seems society has thrown a paddy and tipped its toy box upside down,
From which has spilled clowns, naughty monkeys, and shysters who opposing voices drown.
Thus time those toys were put back in their box, that life might return to normal; so
Mind that rudder, men, because despite the nonsense, many of us better know,

Aren’t caught up in that flow.

Sadly, far too many women have got caught up with that throwing of bricks, when
There is many an ill coming from the female quarter, and not just from men.
It’s about working together, building on the best, not dwelling on the worst,
So lift your head up, good men, ’cause men like you help quench a woman’s inner thirst.

By Lance Landall





2.  It's Time That Men Were Spared Some Thought


No one taught him how to raise kids, nor treat a wife, and hey, isn’t that life, well
So often for a man, that is — and thus why future troubles one can foretell.
And how men get a bad rap, little help available, even from their own,
It oft a case of the blind leading the blind, and thus men so accident-prone.

Got to be like dad, shouldn’t cry, must be tough, and there goes sensitivity,
Something that’s needed to bring some balance to that hardnosed masculinity.
But such coming rather late, little taught and learnt when such should’ve been, and why
Married men-cum-fathers so oft miss the mark, and why “Foul!” many woman cry.

Yes, on the one hand men must be this way, and on the other must be that way,
They unable to win, and if they’ve issues, things well and truly go astray.
Then out come the knives, folk pointing to the harm they’ve done, not that most men mean to,
But oh, how they’re destined to fail; and men being males, can’t see from a woman’s view.

Such being why men should be nurtured in the art of love and care from very young;
 And women taught to understand their man, that he may grasp and climb every rung.
And that children also support their father’s growth, not add to his load and pain,
Lest they or their mother create the husband and father of which they complain.

Yes, it seems men can’t win, they oft dammed if they do and dammed if they don’t, sadly,
And why, given they’re caught betwixt and between, they’re often seen to act badly.
And no wonder, James Bond like violence their diet, and lusty bedroom scenes too,
Such aided by callous porn, promiscuous women and that befuddling brew.

The truth is, that women can’t have it both ways, and therefore, must make up their mind,
But surely they preferring men who’re sensitive, loving, caring, good and kind.
Well, if that’s the kind of men women want, best they protest over what is seen
Come those confusing signals that are coming from each family’s TV screen.

Oh, how difficult and painful being a man-cum-husband and father can be,
Men seemingly having to be all things to both their partner and family.
Yes, a provider, protector, rule enforcer, tower of strength-cum-shoulder,
Sage, judge, guide, confidant, blame-bearer, fix-it-man, gentleman and skilled lover.

But wait, there’s more! — yes, he oft having to forgo some dream or worthy desire,
Or having to deal with unsuitable suitors, or men who his wife desire.
And thus the pain a man faces should poor suitors or wife-stealers get their way,
And why men can be over protective, or their protectiveness go astray.

And why men are oft dammed if they do and dammed if they don’t (as mentioned before),
Wolves in the form of opportunists, unemployment, or knockers at the door.
Yes, on the one hand they’re condemned for their violence, and on the other hand,
Condemned where tearful, depressed-cum-not coping and in need of a helping hand.

And thus why it is that many men despair, for they need encouragement too,
A support base, someone who believes in them, understands what they’re going through.
For they not only have to deal with their own lot, both outside the home and in,
But those emotions and moods that oft rule a female’s life and wear a man thin.

Men are generally straightforward creatures, but not so women or children,
The latter demanding perfect parents, and baulking at required discipline.
And why men can’t win, unless they’re blessed with a perfect wife and perfect children,
Such unrealistic too, and why on husbands and fathers they should mind what they pin.

While men are guilty of much, they’re not alone in their guilt, and oft victims too,
Childhood assaults having weakened or damaged their manhood, hence those things some rue.
Yes, many men seemingly programmed, let alone those unfair expectations,
All of which works against men who’re often fending off unfair accusations.

Yes, never mind how much joy his kids may’ve stolen from his marriage-cum-life,
Precious, irreplaceable years spoilt by strife that came between husband and wife.
And so unfairly, but such is how it oft goes, and why many men despair,
Their kids having gone their own selfish way after having left behind less cheer.

Yes, never mind the problems that his wife may’ve posed, of which he had to bear,
For as I mentioned, and thus when it comes to guilt, women must accept their share.
And why here I write in defence of men, husbands and fathers, oft vilified,
And yet who’ve done their best despite it all, and inwardly, many times have cried.

By Lance Landall





3.  I'm Not Sorry


I’m not sorry for being a man, but sorry that many men act badly,
They thus making it hard for the good men out there who get branded too, sadly.
And those good men so easily at risk of being accused of this or that,
When they wouldn’t dream of such, but knocking men today, seemingly where it’s at.

Yes, it’s the old story, come such ill and things oft swing too far the other way,
The entire male kingdom under fire, despite those women who harm and stray.
Yet I don’t see men branding all women the same, because where’s the sense in that,
There being good and bad on both sides, and childish indeed is that tit-for-tat.

Oh yes, that kiss and tell too, maturity simply moving on, life too short,
And given the promiscuity out there, ships docking at many a port.
Risk always associated with confused morality, that can and can’t,
And hence why when it comes to acting self-righteously, both pot and kettle can’t.

By Lance Landall





4.  Don't Make Things Worse For Yourself


It’s bad enough that you’re out of work, skint, in debt, down on your luck and gloomy,
And I feel for you, wish I could help, but don’t make things worse for yourself, buddy,
Which you will if you harm her, ’cause you’ll end up in serious trouble, and
Where will you stay then? And up goes your costs, so mind that temper, control that hand.

She doesn’t belong to you, buddy, she’s not yours, but free to go should she choose,
So don’t block her exit either; exiting often the cause of drugs or booze.
Yes, you need to mind it all, buddy, acting like a man and not like a brute,
Despite how tough your circumstances — otherwise, she’s every right to shout, “Scoot!”

Perhaps she hasn’t helped matters, no partner perfect, and look at yourself too,
So seek help, buddy, don’t make things worse for yourself, nor her, who’s feeling for you.
But should you yell at her, frighten her, or hit her, she won’t feel for you much more,
Bruises and the rest of it deadening things, and you having woken the law.

Yes, I feel for you too, buddy, know how tough things can get, but don’t be a fool,
Or things will go from bad to worse, they crawling all over you, and cells not cool.
You’ve got to handle it, buddy, or one day you’ll find her gone, and rightly,
Love not stupid, you know, and it seen here too, ’cause I’m trying to help you see.

By Lance Landall





5.  Women Who're Guilty Too


Just as there’re men who spoil a marriage via mistreating or neglecting a lovely wife, so too
Women, they not appreciating the good man they’ve got — and such foolish women, not a few.
Yes, such sad but true, hence the nagging and bagging, the using and abusing, until somewhere
He walks out the door, or she does, if it’s her husband who’s at fault (she possibly feeling fear).

But here we’re talking about women, women who’ve little reason for their discontent, and yet,
They making life miserable — He remaining faithful, but marriage wise, not without regret.
Yes, he treated like a doormat, perhaps, she moody, difficult and demanding this or that,
And no doubt in some cases, displaying far more thought and affection towards their dog or cat.

And in their discontent, many such women looking elsewhere, such fuelled by movies and TV,
And by the latter I mean, those slick images-cum-spiel that lie so blatantly, or subtly.
Yes, be it those ads or those serials and movies that have far more to do with fantasy
(Not to mention novels), all creating unrealistic expectations-cum-some tragedy.

Well, fools there have always been, and none bigger than those who spoil a marriage-cum-their partner’s life,
And why we’re seeing so many divorces, that seemingly resigned or trapped husband or wife.
Yes, tragedies that oft needn’t be, and though men are more commonly at fault, let’s not forget
That many a woman is just as guilty, or certain problems is seen to aid and abet.

By Lance Landall





6.  That Other Woman


Take a marriage — a husband, wife, and a child — and then that husband is seen to stray,
The other woman aiding and abetting, just as guilty, I have to say.
She knowing she’s helping in the break up of that marriage, yet going ahead,
Harming her own kind, and who the same thing happening to her marriage, would dread.

Yes, that other woman, selfishly prepared to harm that child’s security,
Selfishly prepared to worsen things emotionally and financially.
It too bad about society, self coming first, and surely she should know
That those who betray their spouse will betray their lover — yes, serve them the same blow.

But what does she think she’s doing, having no right to break up that family,
Oh, the cruelty of it, the wrong of it, it callous and bankrupt morally.
Oh yes, that other woman too often even the cause, when she should steer clear
Of that married man territory, where at the very least, guilt they both share.

Though husbands shouldn’t stray, many women make themselves an unfair temptation,
Their sexy attire drawing and stirring, thereby aiding the situation.
Hence those office affairs, and women flirt too, you know, thus aiding home disputes
Where problems that could’ve been solved don’t get solved, given those shared forbidden fruits.

By Lance Landall





7.  Like A Mate


He’s taken you as his lifelong partner, has willingly said, “I do,” so please,
Look after him well, and try to understand just how differently he sees.
Keep him contended via what’s pleasing to a man, shore up his manhood each day,
Letting him know that he’s wanted and loved, because men can so easily stray.

Patiently bear with mistakes he might make, and where needed, gently help him see,
Taking care his ego’s not bruised, and minding what wives shouldn’t share thoughtlessly.
Make a big fuss of him, but give him space when he wants to be alone, and wait,
That he may know you’ll always be there, ready to do things with him like a mate.

By Lance Landall





8.  Company


Though a man may and should appreciate all that his wife does for him (bless her),
It’s her company that he desires most, and here being where some wives err.
He effectively wanting a female mate, one happy to go here and there,
Happy to be around him, doing things with him, that interests they may share.

Oh yes, men love their food, and sex goes without saying, but top of it all comes
Her company (her time, her attention), hence why women need to do their sums,
Because food and sex are one thing, but her I’m-here-and-with-you, and-want-to-be
Company, is what it’s all about — otherwise, strong disappointment we see.

Men may enjoy being looked after, but most importantly, they’re wanting HER,
Which is how it should be (and for both), life short and random — yes, fate prone to stir.
All why it’s company one makes the most of, company that means so much more,
That fullness of a loved one’s presence, enabling one to cherish and adore.

“But I need my space!” she cries, and that’s true, there always being a time and place,
But remembering that he needs more than you in the background, so mind that space.
Yes, you’re required on stage, and that being where you’re meant to shine, night and day,
The dressing room just for makeup, the stage when you join hands in a cabaret.

By Lance Landall





9.  For Men, Though Women May Peek


It’s my belief,

That men and women have been designed to compliment each other in every way,
And even a few differing roles being part of that magic equation, I say.
For the greater those differences between them, the stronger the attraction, and
Every enhancement producing more satisfaction-cum-lending a helping hand.

So don’t apologize for being a man but be proud of your masculinity,
Just like any woman should delight in her male capturing femininity.
Yes, she not shackled by feminist agitations often born of injury,
But a woman in every way who’s in touch with Nature-cum-plain reality.

All why men should act like men, they enjoying their man cave, rugby or muscle car,
Not succumbing to New Age wimpiness just as a woman shouldn’t burn her bra.
For men were clearly made to be men just as women were made to be women, and
Nestle their sweet head in the bosom of a love that takes in the lie of the land.

Yes, it’s so strange how we’re living in a time where the genders are becoming blurred,
It oft hard to tell the difference at a glance, the situation quite absurd,
Off-putting, actually,
Women dressing and acting like men, and men mimicking women, and why we see,
Some men bending over backwards to apologize where there’s no necessity,

And thus it plain stupidity.

So rejoice in your manhood, men, only flexing any muscle protectively,
And thereby using your brains, no macho nonsense marring your masculinity.
And as for exchanging what you shouldn’t, I wouldn’t, thus retaining dignity,
Though never discarding selflessness, thoughtfulness, a certain sensitivity.

Seems ads on TV are hell-bent on portraying men as jerks, and as for females,
They’re oft portrayed as just as aggressive and raunchy as renegade lustful males.
And why one can’t help thinking at times that there is some kind of twisted agenda,
And why men and women should denounce such ill and do more to preserve their gender.

So never apologize for being a man but act like a man in every way,
Tenderly looking after your little lady while burning rubber on the way,
If you catch my drift.
In other words, treat her like a women but live like a man, for boys should be boys,
And girls should be girls, as anything that says otherwise just distorts and destroys.

By Lance Landall





10.  In Defence Of Men


My, how the world's changed, though some things never change, and hence why I speak in defence of men, and rightly so,
'Cause it’s so easy for men to be wrongly accused, and many haven’t recovered from such a blow.
What am I referring to? Well, a woman only has to cry rape, and some innocent man's in strife,
Be that accusation coming from a treacherous stranger with an agenda, or from his own wife.

And if it's not rape, it’s some other sexual infringement, including sexual molestation,
But whichever one of these it is, what chance do men have against such a serious accusation?
Hence why men can feel uneasy about being alone with some woman, or a child, tragically,
Lest he find his life tipped upside down (despite him being innocent), such happening so easily.

And unbelievably when the world’s in love with promiscuity, and so full of pornography,
Thanks to a sexual revolution where just about anything goes; a certain hypocrisy,
'Cause men are so oft teased and led on, hence those blurred demarcation lines, and then there’s the angry girlfriend
(Or wife), who should she have it in her mind to, could sexually accuse, and some man’s happiness end.

Hence why men can feel uneasy using public toilets, or being alone with their grandchildren too,
They fearing coming under suspicion given that there are betrayers who paedophilia pursue,
Men who make it hard for other men, who, though innocent, are at risk of some wrongful accusation,
A sword that awaits every man’s neck; they meantime taunted by so much sexual stimulation.

The truth of the matter is, that while a woman’s always at risk of being assaulted sexually,
A man’s at risk of being accused sexually, and of looking when he shouldn't be, apparently.
And as for the latter, men scratch their head, 'cause when women dress sexually — in other words, sexy,
Isn’t such in order to attract a man’s gaze? And it will! So why do women complain, laughably?

By Lance Landall


This poem was tweaked throughout on 6 January 2023.





Christian content or degree.


11.  Sympathetic But Concerned


When God created a man and a woman, placed them in the garden of Eden,
Eve wasn’t lesser nor inferior; inequality coming with sin.
The fall of man having brought about a fall in thinking, which hardened his heart,
And ever since, women have borne the brunt of such, that then and now worlds apart.

Yes, both having been made in God’s image, thus equal in worth and being, and
Designed to complement each other; working together being what God planned.
 Yes, equal in worth and being, but different, both bringing things to the table,
Until peace and harmony were seen to go, and Cain slew his brother Able.

All why that fall in thinking has seen women treated somewhat murderously,
And has given rise to all that loud, pent-up feminist animosity.
Oh, to think that one day women would have to fight for their rights — what a disgrace!
And thus that understandable backlash being what men have to rightly face.

And as can happen, unfortunately, that backlash sometimes going too far,
And as much ground is gained, as much ground is lost, given they haven’t raised the bar.
But rather, are fighting fire with fire, and thus achievements coming at a cost,
Which is why when one surveys the bloodied scene, one sees so much ground that’s been lost,

Like respect and protectiveness, that ‘girl power’ thing in a man’s face, sadly,
And that ‘attitude,’ let me add, which sees young women acting just as badly.
Men are turned off by such, feel threatened by such, thus their hearts hardened all the more,
They confronted with an oxymoron, something that they can hardly adore.

And the reason why is, because God never intended that things be this way,
That “sugar and spice and all things nice” having fermented, turned a sour grey.
Those feminine charms and ways having been exchanged for the hard, raw and angry,
A battleground instead of a meeting place, and hence why more abuse we see.

Yes, Adam and Eve’s disaster leading to that Cain and Able disaster,
And now, female abuse has metamorphosed into male abuse — oh, how we err.
Fix one problem, cause another, it seems — oh, when will balance return, and sense?
Well, not until we’ve returned to God’s blueprint, I believe, repaired Eden’s fence.

By Lance Landall






Alternative poem.


12  Men


Given that men and women are completely different (which I as a male am glad to convey, and such far from being pseudoscience, by the way), men should be defended as much as women, and hence this message that I’ve penned for women, because where men aren’t treated as men, it backfires on women, as I’ve seem time and time again, all why those differences should be respected, and thereby, women certainly better protected, because a nagged and bagged man is less likely to be a caring man, at least not to her (his wife, I mean), whose wrong responses only worsen the scene.
All why when a woman wears the pants, and indulges in unbecoming rants (alias belittling and destructive rants), she’s less likely to get what she desires, and how, as I said, it more often backfires, because a man’s ego is very easily crushed, and how from his heart, manly protectiveness is flushed, and given how men operate on a certain level, sweetness encouraging a saint, and sarcasm a devil, men moved by tender appeals to their masculinity, just like women are moved by what strokes their femininity, they thus being treated like females, and not like a males, and in turn, they treating men like men should be treated, as males.
In other words, they treating their man with the same thought and care (lest setting the scene for some torrid  affair), encouraging the best in their man, helping him achieve what he can, standing loyally by his side, he gratefully cherishing his bride, the source of his energy and pride, and thus both being blessed, and as you’ve no doubt guessed, both his and her arms kept open wide.

By Lance Landall





13.  Guys, Know Your Woman


Yes,

Marry someone who, should you be unfaithful, would simply walk away from you,
Not someone who’d seek revenge, even take it out on you physically too.
'Cause if such is in her heart to do, you made an unwise choice, one that will cost,
And why some old sayings aren’t that clever, like, “It’s better to have loved and lost...”

Such behaviour is not uncommon amongst women, and should be borne in mind,
Lest any vindictiveness, nastiness, cattiness or strife, you too late find.
And often there are telltale signs which one needs to discover well before time,
Lest you dig yourself a very deep hole, one out of which you’ll struggle to climb.

By Lance Landall


This poem isn't condoning unfaithfulness.





14.  I'll Call Him Bobby


The world is full of Bobbys, damaged men who once were innocent little boys,
Having been influenced by, having suffered from, what messes up and destroys.
And hence that worsening stretch in prison, those precious but wasted years and days;
They having done what both experience and an older head knows never pays.

Yes, wisdom seldom found amongst the young, seemingly — and hence their foolish ways,
And ever more so where they’ve been harmed, they oft somewhat like wild and homeless strays.
Yes, desperately in need of help and direction, love that’s foreign to them,
Hence why we need to pause before we point the finger, and mind who we condemn.

And as has been said: It’s easier to love a boy than mend a man; and so
Many years passing before their deep wounds have a chance to heal; the progress slow.
And in many cases there’s no healing, no progress, but just a tragic end,
And this why we need to get involved, because without our help, many won’t mend.

Perhaps they’ve knocked their partner about, or their kids, and you’re angry about that,
And though understandable, don’t forget that they were once treated like a mat,
Emotionally or physically stomped on, even molested, maybe,
And thus our expectations oft unfair and unrealistic, obviously.

Yes, this world’s full of Bobbys — and amongst them, those who’re trying to change, but oh,
How easier such is said than done, and there’s those spanners in the works, you know,
Circumstances that work against, human obstacles, weakened abilities,
And hence why some Bobbys succeed and some don’t, why some disappoint and some please,

But with our help, even more making it through. Will one of those helpers be you?

By Lance Landall





15.  Johnny


Johnny wasn’t a saint, never professed to be, but the biggest wretch of all,
He well aware of his many issues, though despite such, trying to walk tall.
He slipped and oft fell, continued to struggle throughout his life, sad and lonely,
Damage left and right, because the wounded wound, and he past saying, “If only.”

Yes, he tried to do his best, as much as he could, but folk remember the worst,
And thus he feeling that it wasn’t worth bothering, and as if he were cursed.
And I guess he kind of was, because what goes around comes around, hence his pain,
He damaging what mattered most to him, hence loss of love and respect was plain.

Sure he’d oft been loving, had steered his kids in the right direction, but you know,
One needs to be consistent, always setting an example, cheery or low.
And so, mixed signals aplenty, and no wonder, his background just as confused,
And hence why as much as folk were loved and helped, as much they were hurt and abused.

Yes, many thinking the worst of him, and few the best, if at all, and therefore,
Little or no encouragement coming his way, nor opportunity’s door.
He kind of trapped via one thing or another, dammed if he did or didn’t, and
Wanting so much to be valued for something, but who would ever understand?

He died, of course, as all do, having wished and hoped, full of regrets and sorry,
One minute loving and caring, the next, hard and furious as a lorry.
No, help not there as it needed to be, and so it is with many, sadly,
Who stumble their way through jungles of mental tangles, just like mixed up Johnny.

Yes, a simple casket, a few words of farewell, and Johnny a memory,
One soon forgotten, his worth not highly valued, and some might say, “Why should it be?”
Well, worth’s not based on behaviour, Johnny just as precious as us all, but flawed,
And the wounded wound, though their pain oft greater, and the why of it, seldom explored.

By Lance Landall





16.  Is This You And Your Dad?


Hey, Dad, I’ve been in a lot of trouble, even been in prison, and you know,
I reckon that you’re to blame — well, somewhat so — and I’ve no doubts that Mum thinks so.
After all, you weren’t too big on discipline, said “Work things out for yourself, son,”
And I did, but not too well, for one day I figured that I could use a gun.

Yea, I’m just like you, Dad, love my beer, oft smoke the odd joint, and bed women too,
And I wouldn’t be surprised if ’round this neck of the woods I’ve a kid or two.
Yea, I oft scan the same adult mags, have an eye for those raunchy bodies too,
And I guess that’s why I love and leave women, use them, am unfaithful like you.

Seems I’ve wasted a lot of time, half my life, and not amounted to much, so
Haven’t exactly improved on your record — and yes, we do reap what we sow.
But having said that, you hardly showed me a better way, be that via word or deed,
And now I’m thinking I wish you had — say, where’s mother now? Oh, how she must bleed.

Remember those movies we used to watch? Pretty hard-core for a kid, really,
Violence kind of standard fair, half clothed women too — yea, Mum cursing the TV.
She no prude, by the way, but certainly more concerned about things than you were,
And yea, she never liked your language, that smuttiness, how you were hard on her.

I guess I’m a carbon copy, don’t like that mirror image, but there it is,
And hence that trail I’ve left behind, even kid that someone’s bound to say is “his.”
Well, I wouldn’t know, never had much time for morality or whatever,
And how I guess I joined the ranks of those who consider themselves more clever.

I have thought of changing, but don’t know much about change, am so used to being me,
Or is it you? And one’s past kind of gets in the way — dam people’s memory!
And why I was thinking I might as well catch up with you, though perish the thought,
'Cause I’m sure that we would just feed off each other and even more trouble court.

Yea, wish I could get a break, find myself on a better path, or so I hope,
For the one I’m currently on isn’t level but more a slippery slope.
And slipped I have, scars too many to mention and they not just adorning me,
But others I’ve pulled down with me, Dad, or hurt, which your folly failed to foresee.

By Lance Landall





Do you see yourself in this?


17  I Forgive You, Dad


You didn’t understand me, Dad, and nor knew how to deal with me,
Given that I’m different to you, though I can see you in me.
In fact, when facing a mirror, I sometimes think I’m seeing you,
And that rather disturbs, but there’s little about it I can do.

At times you really frightened me, Dad. Overdid things, didn’t you,
And losing it sometimes, hence why some discipline soon went askew.
I cried out, “I’m sorry!, I’m sorry!” begged you to halt fist and boot,
And how I hated you for it, wished you were dead, thought you a brute.

Mum hated it too, and she condemned it all, but what could she do?
Because despite your wrong responses here, she did in fact love you.
And all said and done, you really were a good man, I have to say,
Whom stress simply got the better of — and background too, one must weigh.

We’re all victims of our background to some degree, and therefore,
The sad consequences of such, it would be unfair to ignore.
And this I’ve come to see, having erred myself, unsurprisingly,
Because I’m the product of your influence, Dad, and genes, you see.

Oh yes, I’ve the scars to prove it, Dad, and they have dogged me daily,
But despite such, I have picked up on those good things you instilled in me.
And hence why I’m quite a mixture, as both good and bad came my way,
Which I’m still dealing with, though much I have dealt with, I need to say.

I know Mum loved me, Dad, though her positive quips irked me;
I often feeling somewhat down, and was looking for empathy.
At times she was silent and sided with you, though wrongly, I thought,
But I guess that in the middle of things, a mother can get caught.

I hope you loved me too, Dad, though you seemed quite a hard man to me,
So independent, capable, but lacking sensitivity.
You weren’t into feelings, Dad, and perhaps were too busy for such,
Or so it seemed to me, ’cause affection wise, I didn’t see much.

Yes, a son needs cuddles too, Dad, a father that he can talk to,
A dad who’ll spend time with him, time that I wished I’d had with you.
And hey, it is okay to cry, so I wasn’t such a baby,
But just a son who needed you — though as mentioned, you too busy.

Oh, how many of your words stung, Dad, not just your actions, you know,
And hence there were those nights on the bridge when I watched the river flow.
But something held me back, I’m not sure what it was — fear, possibly,
And oh, Dad, how it all messed me up, destroyed my security.

Well, I’ve raised my own children, Dad, and boy, it hasn’t been easy,
Given all those inner demons, my struggle emotionally.
But I really tried to do my best, and that’s all that I could do,
Given your flawed example — yes, that tragic legacy from you.

However, I understand things more now, because I’ve felt stress too,
And thus have come to see how our background can affect what we do.
No, I don’t excuse what you did, for no one should, obviously,
But it’s just that I’ve learnt a lot, and now see things differently.

So I forgive you, Dad, and I think I love you now — well, want to,
And am sad that you’re not here now, and hey, I’ve changed a lot too.
Maybe you would be proud of me — oh, it would mean so much to me,
'Cause that and a father’s love, every son wants — needs, actually.

By Lance Landall





"With rights comes thought and responsibility."
The poet, author


18.  How Can Men Take Women Seriously?


“We’re so tired of being sexualised, seen as objects,” they’re saying today,
When they’re also sexualizing themselves, indulging in hypocrisy.
They dressing to kill, oozing sex, furiously spinning a man’s radar, and
Participating in the raunchy and pornie, those movies that should be banned.

No wonder they’re being sexualized, seen as objects, so why all the tears?
Their cruel teasing of men causing frustration that’s simply been building for years.
And frustration usually ends in something, because when men see the sexy
They hardly see the person, just the body, and can’t help note hypocrisy.

If they don’t want men groping them, say, wrongly assaulting them sexually,
They shouldn’t pressurise any bladder that could explode upon society.
All why “It’s my right to dress as I wish to” falls on deaf ears, ’cause all men see
Is women flaunting what turns a key, revs a motor, even redlining it,

Worryingly.

So how can men take women seriously, men geared to notice that body,
And notice they will where it’s half naked and flaunted, stirring excitedly.
And it’s all the man’s fault, apparently, and a puppy’s too where there’s a fresh steak,
One waved in front of its nose, dear me, men and puppies acting naturally,

Hence that path some take.

Yes, that puppy barking, that man aroused too, his camera having gone "Click!”
And there in his mind that image replaying, the OFF switch very hard to flick.
Some woman having sexualised herself, made it easy for men to think
She might have sex in mind too, and miscalculating men destined for the Clink.

Of course we know men shouldn’t err regardless, but once stirred, many are prone to,
They kind of fooled by such confusing signals, as if possibly she’d want to.
And thus a little persuasion needed, perhaps, when that’s not how it is here,
But simply women publicly parading what privately they wish to share

With only their boyfriend or their husband, that is, which isn’t exactly clear.

And so, if they don’t like strangers ogling them, nor want to be objectified,
They shouldn’t dress so, nor behave so, because those two worlds are sure to collide.
Such sexiness blinding men like those headlights blind possums, but aren’t women blind too,
Who, the very things that work just as much against them as for them, still pursue?

Women can dress as they want, but men won't change, CAN'T change, they stirred visually,
And thus will continue to stare
and yes, some even acting criminally.
It all too much for many, many already buzzing via pornography,
Which women aid via starring in such, helping lust to figure dramatically.

Men are very visual creatures, and hence why sexy pictures stir them too,
And with porn on tap, such pictures are etched on their mind after what they view.
It corrupting men, destroying their love and respect for women, and so too
Those street scenes that draw them to the body
unfairly, thoughtlessly, in my view.

By Lance Landall


This poem was added to on 9 April 2021.





19.  Mind The Wife You Choose, Son

I'd mind the wife you choose, son, for here, great care is needed,
As many have paid the price when such counsel they’ve not heeded.
It’s far from a little matter who you choose to be your wife,
Therefore, watch that youthful passion, lest pain soon engulf your life.

It's been said that love is blind, and so often that has proved true,
So give this lots of thought, lest you end up with someone you’ll rue.
You wouldn't be the first, son, and you'll certainly not be the last
To set your eyes and heart upon, one whom your arms should never clasp.

It’s far better to stay single than to make a big mistake
By marrying a woman that you wouldn’t be wise to take.
And the same goes for a woman, lest she too, make a mistake
By taking for a husband, one that she too, really shouldn’t take.

Please listen to your father, son, for I’m a male just like you,
I know the way you’re feeling, for I have felt the same way too.
But one must be objective when one is thinking of a wife,
Lest the physical, or emotional, wrongly affect your future life.

Yes, listen to your father, son, for I’ve learnt a thing or two,
Having seen so many men tumble, once unchecked desire grew.
For some it’s been adultery, for others, ’twas simply lust,
But somewhere, we all come unstuck, when in self we put our trust.

You may be tired of hearing things that I state to spare you ill,
But such you should consider, son, if you wish that all go well.
Many fathers when they were younger such advice chose to spurn,
And now, are warning their own sons, lest they too, the hard way learn.

Yes, fathers are human too, son, but good fathers try their best
To spare their children sadness found in many a marital nest.
Therefore, take that time that is needed to ensure that your choice
Will be the one that is wisest, for that way, you’ll soon rejoice.

Good judgment is needed daily as we make our way through life,
For wrongly-made decisions can bring us an awful lot of strife.
And it’s not just we who suffer, as others can be affected
By our errors of judgment, and when wisdom we’ve rejected.

The wise young man or woman in experience will invest,
Such being, discerning parents, and wiser elders, who know best.
For ignoring wisdom given, or providentially sent,
Could mean that in the future, who you've chosen, you will lament.

Love can always wait to give, but lust can never wait to get,
So first make sure that you’re worthy of that one on whom you’re set.
Yes, women should pick good husbands, and men should pick good wives,
For those who have chosen badly have had troubles plague their lives.

By Lance Landall






20.  Don't Storm A Man's Castle


Some things never change, and so it will always be with a man and woman’s mind, for one thing’s clear:
Men and woman think very differently despite many things in common that they both share.
And thus why Nature and not nurture allots to each their own territory-cum-boundaries,
Which if either chooses to cross, usually results in consequences that displease.

Yes, you may smile; or resent such, but it’s as clear as night and day, and why women need to know
(As corny as it sounds), that men like to feel like men, hence that protectiveness that good men show.
And why women soldiers and truck drivers (for example), just don’t cut it with men, underneath,
For such makes men feel that they’re not so much men, and hence that resentment that oft lies beneath.

You see, men like to be “the man,” and where women act like “the man,” men feel threatened somehow,
Such women intruding on their territory, and hence the proverbial marital row,
Or certain assaults (sadly), for where a man can’t take a woman under his manly stretched wing,
(Given her feminist type approach-cum-competing for his manhood), things negatively swing.

And this why many men stop behaving chivalrously (like a boy who’s been told he’s no good),
They feeling, “What’s the point?” or, “Too bad,” hence they not thoughtfully opening that door like they should.
But rather, “You can open it for yourself, Lady,” and as for sex, she more just an object;
In other words, welcome to the world of every man for himself, “Why should I care and protect?”

After all, women can take care of themselves, can’t they? They doing all that any man would do,
And thus they competitors now, all in the same boxing ring where punches only men once threw.
And why women must choose which way they want things to be, for wherever a man can’t be “the man,”
He’ll become a villain or sparring partner, and if that’s what women want, it’s going to plan.

Good men naturally protect, watch over and lovingly care for their wife, such being instinctive,
Hence why women are better off when they happily accept such — that rather than take, men may give —
And by that I mean, they seeking the best interests of every women, and thus being “the man,”
Which women soldiers and truck drivers thwart, and hence how some have jumped from the pot into the pan.

Yes, women are always better off where such boundaries aren’t crossed (some men’s behaviour aside),
For it’s all to do with Nature, not nurture; men being men, women being women, and each with pride.
Yes, for here, it’s opposites that attract, be such in the home or out; though workloads all should share,
For in all things, and given certain circumstances, both sexes should be reasonable and fair.

Though some men may not admit to such (they not in touch with themselves, or conned by New Age folly),
The plain facts are, that that manly domain in which men thrive is their castle-cum-security.
And why when that castle’s stormed by those who’ve their own naturally bequeathed castle, men react,
For both should respect each other’s sphere, the idea being to compliment, add to, and not subtract.

By Lance Landall





21.  Disingenuous "Me Too" Supporters


To those disingenuous male sympathizers of the “Me Too” movement, who
Appear to look good in the eyes of such women, and same condemning pursue,
Remember that women can’t have it both ways, starring in porn, stripping to tease,
Baring it all on the street, offering their services, being part of the sleaze.

Yes, women can shout about sexual assaults (and should do), but goodness me,
They’re not helping their case by indulging in the bawdy, horny and raunchy.
Oh, how such cranks men up, and more so the bestial who laws and wails ignore,
Sneering at the hypocrisy, how Hollywood plays the saint, and then the whore.

No, I’ve no problem with genuine sympathisers who’ve a balanced view,
But not so women pleasers, who, scared of flak, over-the-top cries give in to.
All men suspect now, and everything sexist these days, one scratching ones head,
Because women aren’t blameless either, and should face up to what they’ve done and said.

Too many women in these “Me Too” type movements aren’t objective enough, and
Are even out of touch with reality, living in their own little land.
It all about men, seemingly, and women the only victims, one would think,
Yet, how they should mind, when, flushed with any dubious success, their glasses clink.

By Lance Landall


You may wish to read my poem With The "Me Too" Movement In Mind which can
be found on my page Concern For Women, Home page.





22.  It's In Their DNA


The problem’s always on the side of men, they say, but what many women fail to see
Is that what they view as harmless, stirs a man physically, sexually.
And this being something that a man can’t change, and why he’s always affected
By nudity and sexiness, and therefore, arousal to be expected.

And so, look men will, even desire, such basically bypassing the brain,
Stirring their loins, and why that oh so sexual stimulation can be a strain.
Men immediately drawn to such bodies, and why objectify they will,
’Cause despite certain education, men are aroused by the visual still.

Yes, that’s the way they’re made, only laws and moral brakes keeping what’s seen in check,
But not removing such, ’cause men don’t come with some kind of switch they can flick.
Such thus calling for thought and fairness, women, ’cause the problem won’t go away,
Men naturally activated visually, and thus so prone to stray.

Just as a man or woman who’s straight can’t understand same-sex attraction, nor
Do straight women understand a straight man’s plight, and all why men can oft feel raw
Where made to feel like they’re sex maniacs over what’s quite natural to them,
And that being, physically drawn to the sexy, that low top, or high hem.

Men try to deal with it, but many struggle, it teasing tantalisingly,
Stirring but hardly relieving, because it’s out of bounds, ironically.
Yes, an insensitive, unhelpful situation, a woman’s right, they say,
Which it is, but there’ll always be a cost, just as sure as night follows day.


By Lance Landall





23.  Know Where It's At


Men

You can strut the stage jerking your howling guitar and almost mouth the mike too,
Have women screaming at your suggestive gyrations; and no doubt bed some too.
Yes, you can have the crowd falling at your feet and lost in your hypnotic beat,
And it won’t make you a man, for men aren’t made on a stage or under a sheet.

Yes, you can use your little head instead of your big head, tell bawdy jokes too,
And in-between use that foul four letter word, have others applauding you too.
Or you can even stand before a crowd as their president, mayor or MP,
And it won’t make you a man, for men aren’t made by their roles in society.

Yes, you can wear a suit, have a flash title, big pecs, biceps and tight abs too,
Have a black belt or brown belt, tote a gun, wield a knife and use your bare fists too.
Or you could build your wife a house, fill it with this and that and some big trip plan,
Bring home the bacon as regular as clockwork and it won’t make you a man.

But a loving heart will, principles and standards that won’t have you budge from right,
That path that spurns ego, self and folly, steers one towards truth, goodness and light.
And thus you not turning to ill, anything that’s dubious or unworthy.
But rather, you leading by example, sound both inwardly and outwardly.

Women

You can dress as if to kill, smoulder sexually, better other gals too,
Paint your pretty face, cover yourself in bling and no doubt take a man down too.
Yes, know how to wrap a man around your fingers, get what you want and quickly,
And it won’t make you a woman, for women aren’t made by such ability.

Yes, you can use your body instead of your brain, act like one of the boys too,
Guzzle beer, also swear, do the clubs, have your moment of fame and fortune too.
Or you might gain some high position, become a princess, some celebrity,
And it won’t make you a woman, for women aren’t made by status or money.

Yes, you can wear designer clothes, drive a Lamborghini and have the goods too,
Give as good as you get, wear a soldier’s uniform and compete with men too.
Or you could have your own business, help hubby with that house, keep it spick and span,
Even be a dutiful housewife, hostess, and it won’t make you a woman.

But a loving heart will, principles and standards that won’t have you budge from right,
That path that spurns ego, self and folly, steers one towards truth, goodness and light.
And thus you not turning to ill, anything that’s dubious or unworthy,
But rather, you leading by example, sound both inwardly and outwardly.

By Lance Landall




24.  When It's Too Late


It doesn’t hit you at first. You close the door, calling out.
Silence. Then you notice something as you cast your eyes about.
There’s a photo missing. Something else too. Now it hits you.
Something’s wrong. You can feel it. But what though? Something’s askew.

You race up the stairs. Go from room to room. Head back down again.
It’s then you spot it. That note. One that’s greeted many men.
Your heart sinks. Your stomach knots. Emotion wells up inside.
Your spouse has gone. “Won’t be back,” she said. You’re stunned, horrified.

Yes, it’s a terrible nightmare, one you’re not dreaming though.
You didn’t expect this. Thought she’d stay. But she chose to go.
You should have seen this coming given the wrong said and done,
But it’s too late now. Your turn to suffer. Your pain has begun,

'Cause you loved her, didn’t you? Yes, you really did. How sad.
She’s gone for good now. Won’t change her mind. No, things were that bad.
She tried hard to make things work, despite the treatment she got,
And now, she’s emotionally scarred
yes, mentally shot.

I realize you’re sorry. But it’s too late. Can’t be undone.
You’ve caused too much damage. So now she’s left you. Cut and run.
It’s a lesson learned too late, but one I hope you have learned,
'Cause you’ll be a better man — and wiser, where love’s concerned.

Yes, you don’t treat women like that. They’re not objects, you know.
You’re meant to protect them. Not harm them, 'cause that’s acting low.
So, mind thoughtless words. Any selfishness. That macho thing too.
Treat them tenderly. Cherish them. And only what’s right do.

That way you’ll find no note, no empty home, no missing bride,
And never experience that gut wrenching pain inside,
'Cause women don’t leave good men, unless like you, they blunder too,
Or some greener pasture that isn’t so green, foolishly pursue.


By Lance Landall





25.  When Will Men Get It?


Men are turned on by the visual, but women are turned on by love, and so,
If you want good sex, husbands, love your wives — in other words, thought and kindness show.
Yes, it’s pretty much that simple — happy wife, happy sex — something men should know,
Women not turned on by nudity, but that sensitivity men should show.

So, forget that macho nonsense, that male stripper thing, such nothing but a game,
It childish and unintelligent, hardly the stuff to ignite a flame.
Women not aroused by such, despite some buying into that silly scene, and
Just adding to the folly of it, rather than taking a more mature stand.

And wives should also remember just how much the visual stirs men, and so,
They minding lest they foster that horniness from which disappointment can grow.
Men finding it hard to keep their hands off their wife whose sexy attire oft stirs,
And thus how women make things harder and worse, and why more so, their husband errs,

Because too much arousal occurs. However,

An activated male motor aids a man’s loving care (where his heart is pure),
Men having been designed that way, but love first and foremost always being the cure.
Yes, happy wife, happy sex, she feeling wanted for herself, not her body,
’Cause our body’s merely a thing, just a vessel for one’s personality.

In other words, that person we are, and thus we putting people before things,
Love before sex — and via doing so, it’s not long before that pretty bird sings;
Women basking in their husbands love, they only too happy to oblige, and
This how a woman is truly aroused herself, just like Mother Nature planned.

Yes, love turns women on, love that’s free of lusty eyes and erring groping hands,
Because lusty eyes and erring groping hands have more to do with one night stands.
Hence that, “Hello, I know what he’s after,” sad sigh, it all to common, frankly,
Hence why love’s candle oft merely flickers rather than burning passionately,

Husbands letting their wife down badly.

But Hollywood would have us believe anything but the truth, and why we see,
Half naked women acting just as horny and aggressive sexually,
And love having nothing to do with it, it more like an animal affair,
And the irony is, many women who’d agree with me, still sit and stare.

Yes, funny what many condemn in real life, but accept when it’s acted out,
They effectively condoning such a lie, when love is what it’s all about.
All why sex outside of a lasting relationship is a travesty too,
It nothing but selfish gratification, something that true love’s not into,

So when will women get it too?

In summary, men and women operate on two different levels, so,
It’s not about what men expose, but about that love and care that they should show.
Otherwise, they’re wasting their time, the visual not doing it for women,
But just for men, who, thinking the opposite, get it wrong time and time again.

Yes, “Get it off!” some women yell, and some are even viewing pornography too,
But in the general scheme of things, such is hardly what women are into.
There may be exceptions, some women more like men, and some men more like women,
But men are still men, and women are still women, who, aren’t aroused quite like men,

At the drop of a hat, or should I say robe, and they wanting it there and then.

By Lance Landall





Thoughts Regarding Men

On the one hand they're expected to be loving, and on the other hand, they're expected to kill without emotion come wars.
On the one hand they're expected to be faithful, and on the other hand, they're daily confronted with the sexually tempting, and are supplied with porn, sex-riddled movies, prostitutes and strip clubs.
On the one hand they're expected to be humane, and on the other hand, they're supplied with swords and toy guns as children, or real guns when they're older in order to kill creatures for sport, or to act out war games.
On the one hand they're expected to act thoughtfully to others, and on the other hand, they're encouraged to aggressively compete.
On the one hand they're expected to walk away from a fight, and on the other hand, they're encouraged to foster the killer instinct come certain sports.
On the one hand they're expected to act honourably, and on the other hand, they're encouraged to sow wild oats.
On the one hand they're expected to be a good father, and on the other hand, they're often deprived of one, or a fitting role model.
On the one hand they're expected to act responsibly, and on the other hand, they're copiously supplied with a befuddling, disgracing and hindering substance that’s oft called a man’s brew.
On the one hand they're expected to provide for their family, and on the other hand, they're often made redundant, denied certain skills, given an insufficient wage, unfairly burdened with a crippling rent or mortgage, and are hardly rehabilitated when incarcerated.
On the one hand they're expected to act sensitively, and on the other hand, they're expected to be tough, fearless, and not give in to tears.
On the one hand they're expected to act wisely, and on the other hand, they're applauded for acting recklessly come the likes of extreme sports and unnecessary life risking adventures.
On the one hand they're expected to "act like a man," and on the other hand, they're subjected to the sapping "a woman can do anything a man can do" mantra, feminist putdown quotes like: “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle,” and sitcoms where manhood is ridiculed via dopey husbands and smarter wives.

This article was upgraded 23 March 2017.



The Dangers Of Porn:


"There is no protection against the kinds of influences that are loose in a society that tolerates pornography."
Ted Bundy, serial sex murderer.


1) Those grubby images will be forever stored — and once in the head, a plague, resident and usurper in the marital bed.
2) Porn objectifies woman, uses them, and even turns them into prey — men regarding them with less value and respect.
3) It hardens a man’s heart, lessens his tenderness when it comes to sex, and in general.
4) It messes with a man’s head, creates warped views.
5) It drains.
6) It exploits a man’s weaknesses.
7) It causes selfishness.
8) It degrades both those involved and those viewing.
9) What begins with a high, simply ends in negative feelings, as with drugs.
10) Porn results in a pattern of hopeless addiction and escalation, the need for greater stimulus growing. Soft-core becomes hard-core, fantasy becomes a reality must, and hence the escalation in sexual crimes — and how many more Ted Bundys? Such particularly arousing dangerous emotions in the immature, young, disturbed and criminal classes.
11) It creates unfair and unrealistic expectations.
12) It creates sexual problems such as erectile dysfunction.
13) It destroys men, marriages and homes — porn damages trust.
14) It damages one's ability to have a healthy relationship with women in general and a potential partner.
15) It’s sex without intimacy, sex without emotional closeness, and therefore, ultimately creates an emotional distance in relationships. 
16) It leads to men not being able to get aroused by their wife because the brain can’t associate arousal and release with a person anymore. Hence the need to recall those images, the brain having become rewired, its chemistry altered. The visual stimulation of pornography coupled with the secrecy that usually goes with it, is a very powerful  combination, a certain and abnormal high that one can't really achieve when having sex with an actual person. Hence how it makes normal, healthy sexual intimacy seem boring, and even without the secrecy.
17) Porn addicts have to go through the same difficult recovery process that drug addicts go through.
18) It masks needs that should be met through human connections.
19) It can jeopardize one's work, has men constantly replaying those same images throughout the day.
20) It’s mental adultery, unfaithfulness.
21) It dirties manhood.
22) It competes with one’s wife who hasn't a hope of beating the competition.
23) It takes something good and badly sullies it.
24) It effectively turns men into perverts, licentious creeps and peeping toms.
25) It leads to unhealthy masterbation.
26) The porn industry is riddled with disease and corruption — porn is linked to prostitution and sex trafficking.
27) Porn affects one's ability to think and function normally, it causing a shrinkage of those brain regions used for motivation and decision making.
28) It creates a surge of chemicals as destructive to one's health as prolonged adrenalin is.
29) It has men sizing up the body of every passing woman as if she's a piece of meat.
30) It lessens a man's sensitivity to sexual violence against women.
31) It can have men thinking very cruel and violent thoughts regarding what they would actually like to do with women if they could get the chance, such not far removed from those deadful things that were done to women in the Nazi concentration camps. And that's the truth of it, because men who're bad in the first place, become even more so after a diet of porn; and good men can become terribly corrupted.
32) Porn affects society, not just individuals.
33) Porn's fantasy figures make things harder for those women who're not so well endowed and who struggle with low self-esteem already.
34) Porn goes against the biblical “one flesh” principle, violates God's seventh and tenth Commandment, violates the Christian's marital covenant, and the covenant a Christian makes between God and the rightful use of ones eyes.


"Pornography is the theory, and rape is the practice."
Robin Morgan


So how does porn work?

1)
It creates an intense feeling of physical excitement accompanied by guilty feelings given its most unworthy, scandalous nature and shock value; that fusion of feelings and thoughts even akin to feverishness. Hence why it can be draining. When men get inflamed so, it acts like a toxin in their body, thus leading to ill health.
2)
Those pornographic images, scenes, are replayed over and over again, are regularly in ones thoughts, day after day, week after week, year after year, and are even added to via ones imagination.
3)
In time, more daring and disgusting images are needed to get the same rush, the same affect.
4)
a) Those images are taken into the marital bed, and there, ones wife is encouraged to join in acting out those same scenes or that same behaviour, as far as ones wife is willing to oblige, that is.
b) Where ones wife is unwilling to oblige, or where one knows ones wife would be thoroughly disgusted by such, those images, scenes, are replayed in the mind whilst having sex, one even imagining ones wife in the thick of it.
5)
Where a man has no wife, and feels that he has no access to women, obsessive masturbation is the order of the day, which not only can result in possible damage to his organ, but ill health too.
6)
The incendiaryness of porn, especially when it comes to certain people, types, can lead to sexual assaults given how inflamed the mind and body can become — fantasy having to meet its ultimate in reality, porn having created a need that requires urgent and repeated fulfilment and release. And those fantasies, by the way, can be very sick.
For example: A woman, or women, being chained, shackled, or held in certain positions while a man, or men, have their perverted, shocking and violent way — that woman, or those women, forced to accept whatever is done to them, and forced to accept whatever those men want done to them, such being porn's ultimate fantasy, of course, a sex slave. And then comes snuff movies where women are raped and killed.
And hence those accounts on the six o'clock News, (no doubt the tip of an iceberg), about a woman, or women, having being held in dungeons, as it were, some man's basement — and this, I would imagine, where some or many of those missing women have ended up.
7)
After the rush of viewing porn is over, one can be left feeling contaminated, low, drained and guilty.


"I've met a lot of men who were motivated to commit violence just like me. And without exception, without question, every one of them was deeply involved in pornography, deeply consumed by the addiction."
Ted Bundy

"As we have been talking, there are forces at loose in this country, especially this kind of violent pornography, where, on one hand, well-meaning people will condemn the behavior of a Ted Bundy while they’re walking past a magazine rack full of the very kinds of things that send young kids down the road to being Ted Bundys. That’s the irony."
Ted Bundy

Both quotes being from when he was interviewed by James Dobson just before his execution.


In the context of the marital bedroom, sex is a wonderful, enjoyable, magical thing, a special and deep intimacy that two people of the opposite sex only share between them. It’s something that cements their relationship, binding them together with a special cord that’s not meant to be untied, nor marred or slowly shredded by the inappropriate.
But outside the context of the marital bed, and that committed, permanent relationship (procreation pointing to its seriousness), such sex simply falls into the category of nothing more than irresponsibility, lust, a means to a selfish end; it a drug-like fix, a hollow and even animal act that takes or leaves.
When sex becomes an anytime with anyone you fancy thing, it loses its specialness, its important place and role, even becomes degraded, and nothing more than a momentary physical buzz that thwarts its main intention, and that being, to strengthen a deep, close and enduring relationship that provides security for both the couple and any children that they have.

Check out these porn statistics:

http://www.covenanteyes.com/pornstats/

Oh, a note about:
ORAL SEX,
and bearing in mind that a penis is also a urinary track, that we aren't living in a world that's pure and sterile, free from bacteria or other living microorganisms, and that the genital area can be a hotbed of bacteria:

When oral sex is indulged in (and more so where there's promiscurity) there’s a risk of:
a) Infections.
b) If the other person is infected with the sexual diseases (STD) Gonorrhoea, Syphilis and Chlamydia, there’s the risk of them transmitting them to the throat; along with HSV which can cause pharyngitis, an inflammation of the throat with ulcer formation.
c) Throat and mouth cancer.
This information was drawn from www.netdoctor.co.uk which also stated:
“Today’s high rates of oral sex are linked to the rising incidence of throat and mouth cancer.”
That same website also contained this:
According to the American Association for Cancer Research, more than 50 per cent of all oral cancers are now HPV related – though many others are caused by tobacco or alcohol.
This problem is also confirmed in the book "What's Happening To Our Girls?" by Maggie Hamilton.


"Porn is sex's dirty cousin."
The poet, Author


Drawn from various sources.
Upgraded 18 September 2018