Time To Face Things

 

Introduction


“Until men and women know, understand, accept and appreciate the differences between them,
there will always be conflict and disappointment.”
The Author



Includes frank content.
But firstly a poem, followed by one more after the first article.




1.  When Will Men Get It?


Men are turned on by the visual, but women are turned on by love, and so,
If you want good sex, husbands, love your wives — in other words, thought and kindness show.
Yes, it’s pretty much that simple — happy wife, happy sex — something men should know,
Women not turned on by nudity, but that sensitivity men should show.

So, forget that macho nonsense, that male stripper thing, such nothing but a game,
It childish and unintelligent, hardly the stuff to ignite a flame.
Women not aroused by such, despite some buying into that silly scene, and
Just adding to the folly of it, rather than taking a more mature stand.

And wives should also remember just how much the visual stirs men, and so,
They minding lest they foster that horniness from which disappointment can grow.
Men finding it hard to keep their hands off their wife whose sexy attire oft stirs,
And thus how women make things harder and worse, and why more so, their husband errs,

Because too much arousal occurs. However,

An activated male motor aids a man’s loving care (where his heart is pure),
Men having been designed that way, but love first and foremost always being the cure.
Yes, happy wife, happy sex, she feeling wanted for herself, not her body,
’Cause our body’s merely a thing, just a vessel for one’s personality.

In other words, that person we are, and thus we putting people before things,
Love before sex — and via doing so, it’s not long before that pretty bird sings;
Women basking in their husbands love, they only too happy to oblige, and
This how a woman is truly aroused herself, just like Mother Nature planned.

Yes, love turns women on, love that’s free of lusty eyes and erring groping hands,
Because lusty eyes and erring groping hands have more to do with one night stands.
Hence that, “Hello, I know what he’s after,” sad sigh, it all to common, frankly,
Hence why love’s candle oft merely flickers rather than burning passionately,

Husbands letting their wife down badly.

But Hollywood would have us believe anything but the truth, and why we see,
Half naked women acting just as horny and aggressive sexually,
And love having nothing to do with it, it more like an animal affair,
And the irony is, many women who’d agree with me, still sit and stare.

Yes, funny what many condemn in real life, but accept when it’s acted out,
They effectively condoning such a lie, when love is what it’s all about.
All why sex outside of a lasting relationship is a travesty too,
It nothing but selfish gratification, something that true love’s not into,

So when will women get it too?

In summary, men and women operate on two different levels, so,
It’s not about what men expose, but about that love and care that they should show.
Otherwise, they’re wasting their time, the visual not doing it for women,
But just for men, who, thinking the opposite, get it wrong time and time again.

Yes, “Get it off!” some women yell, and some are even viewing pornography too,
But in the general scheme of things, such is hardly what women are into.
There may be exceptions, some women more like men, and some men more like women,
But men are still men, and women are still women, who, aren’t aroused quite like men,

At the drop of a hat, or should I say robe, and they wanting it there and then.

By Lance Landall


This poem was added to on the 20 April 2018.



1.  Are Women Blameless?


This article is an attempt to provide some fairness and balance.

There are women that are saying that they have every right to dress how they wish — in other words, as sexually as they like in public, that it's their body and that they can do what they like with it, and that one can’t and shouldn’t link sexual assaults to such — in other words, that the blame for such assaults lies entirely with the male attacker. Or to put it another way, the women so dressed are completely blameless.
My personal response to such?
What one may be permitted to do, or have a right to do, isn’t always what's wise to do, and under some circumstances, perhaps not even right to do. Thus, where one doesn't use wisdom, are they free of any blame should ill of some sort come their way?
In my mind, those women who make the statement they do, come under the following:
1) They have their head in the sand, are unaware of just how sick society has become.
2) They have a very narrow focus, a seeming inability to understand and grasp the broader issues surrounding such.
3) They simply don’t wish to face reality because it doesn't suit.
4) They simply don’t wish to accept any responsibility for some part that they may have played somehow.
5) They simply do not understand what it’s like to be a man, which, while understandable, given that they’re not men, doesn't excuse insensitivity, thoughtlessness or folly. Though a man can’t truly understand what it’s like to be pregnant, for example, such wouldn’t excuse any insensitive thoughtless behaviour towards his pregnant wife. In other words, he should endeavour to try and understand what it must be like, and seek to make his wife’s pregnancy issues as bearable as possible.
A man’s sex drive is unique, very strong, very propelling, and operates in a different way, thus when women titillate a man, it can be akin to playing with a time bomb, not just a match. However, the sex drive in a man can also vary in intensity from one man to another, some men having a sex drive that’s seemingly impossible for them to live with.
Many women don’t seem to understand or fully appreciate that visual stimuli affects a man in the same way as tactile stimuli affects a woman.
Men think visually, all why they're drawn to pictures, especially pictures of nudity or sexual activities.
Men are kind of driven by their sex drive, such being part and parcel of their creativity. Thus sex is a big deal to them, and when sex is walking around everywhere in the form of blatant sexiness (particularly come summer days), it can be very difficult for them.
Time and time again I notice those embarrassed, furtive looks of males when a sexy looking woman goes past them, be that man married or single.
I guess one reson why God dressed Adam and Eve after their fall was because He knew that the body would become objectified, glorified, idolized, degraded and present a stumbling block. Have you seen those mtv videos?!
When a man views a picture of a naked woman, his sexual arousal is activated, and commonly strong. When many men view pornographic material, their sexual arousal could be likened to the intensity of a woman’s approaching climax. Hence why many men feel the need to masterbate.
A man is also designed in such a way that as soon as his key is turned via sexual stimulus, his motor is ready for action. In other words, a man isn’t meant to be aroused to go nowhere. Thus sexiness in public can be somewhat like dangling a steak in front of a hungry lion and then pulling it away. And such is why there’s an undercurrent of frustration that’s running through the male realm, be it conscious or subconscious, given what men are constantly being teased with.
And hence why sexual arousal in any form should be kept to the marital home where any such needs can be taken care of without undue delay.
Even quarter revealed breasts (aided by push up bras clearly designed to titilate) can be stimulating to the male eye, and a man’s radar is highly attuned to such. That’s the way he’s made. A woman's breasts are generally (even overwhelmingly) a man's strong interest of sexual desire (a sexual zone for him), hence the original Playboy magazines that in time progressed from bare breasts to the naked crutch as well, a man's next interest, and obviously so, because that's where his aroused state wishes to end up ultimately — intercourse.
This is all why mens locker rooms and so on are often plastered with Playboy type pictures.
With all the sexual content that’s around today, one could say that a man’s radar is on high alert, overload, in fact — men (in the public domain) picking up on more than what was ever intended for them to see outside of marriage (and certainly without relief). For the young male whose hormones are racing, it can be a real battle.
Okay, moving on:
Anyone who knowingly leaves a bulging wallet in their car (which they're at liberty to do) with the windows down on both sides, and then goes for a walk, would be considered a fool, and I’m very sure that most people would say, “Well, you’ve only got yourself to blame.” Sure no one should have taken it, and clearly they’ve committed a crime, but the fact that someone did take it, and thereby did commit a crime, is somewhat irrelevant (it could be argued) given that if the wallet hadn’t been left in the car like that, no theft-cum-crime would have occurred. As I said earlier, what one may be permitted to do, isn’t always wise to do, and under some circumstances, not even right to do. Why unnecessarily put temptation in someone's way? Is that not a wrong in itself?
Bearing all this in mind, let’s face some hard facts:
1) The world contains many predatory men. It's interesting how during wars many soldiers will rape where they feel they can get away with it. And they certainly don't do it just because their victim is the enemy. Hence why a soldier is only as good as his conscience, his moral stand.
2) The world contains many oversexed men.
3) The world contains many men who have deviant desires.
4) The world contains many men who are tanked up on pornography, enter addiction, obsession and compulsion.
5) The world contains many men who have some kind of sexual dysfunction — hang up.
6) The world contains many men who're angry with women, some even having a hatred for women. And why might that be? Well, perhaps they've been wrongly accused of some sexual assault (rape), been left for another man when having been a good husband, or been badly treated by either their mother (who may have abandoned them as well) or their wife.
7) The world contains men who're very jealous of those gorgeous and sexy clothed (or is it unclothed?) women that other men have and are happy to strut in the face of other men.
8) The world also contains many sexually frustrated men, and there can be a number of reasons for their frustration. Many men can't get a woman, be that due to poor looks, ineptness, bad traits, etc, which when coupled with porn, doubles their frustration. Many men can become very frustrated by the constant sexual stimulation that daily comes their way, and thus are sorely tempted by such, even when married; perhaps their needs not being met due to marital problems, the wife's ill-health or even death.
The consequences of all this?
1) Frustration and temptation can see even a good man fall from grace and do what he normally wouldn’t do — in other words, go too far with his advances, or sexually assault a woman outright.
Despite David (of Bible fame) having a number of wives and concubines, the sight of Bathsheba proved too much for him too.
Once again, the truth is (whether it's accepted or not), that there's an undercurrent of unfulfilled sexual frustration running through the male kingdom given what men are constantly being confronted with without immediate relief, or relief at all.
2) The interest of predatory, oversexed, sexually obsessed, compulsion driven, pornography fuelled men, or those with some sexual dysfunction, is strongly kindled by public sexiness. After all, it’s the real walking talking deal, not just a picture, and the reality is that such men graduate from this to that. Much like with drugs. The sexual serial killer, Ted Bundy (1946-1989), conveyed that as a youngster his future path was first fuelled by the likes of Playboy magazines, which back then, were nothing like what’s seen today. And now, the sexual is everywhere, and more blatantly so.
Those who say that porn isn't connected to crime are away with the fairies.
And bear in mind that many of these men are men that one would never suspect.
Given all the above, a sexually (sexy) dressed woman walking about in public, and especially given today’s climate, is acting somewhat akin to someone walking through a pride of lions — some having eaten, some having not eaten, and some plain greedy, undisciplined, annoyed or nasty.
Now tell me, who would willingly choose to walk through a pride of lions, and if they did, I wonder who they would blame if they were attacked — the lions or them self?
Such is the reality whether one chooses to accept such or not.
Go surfing and there's the chance of a shark attack, and you having known that.
Why play Russian roulette? Someone's number is going to come up somewhere.
Sure a man should never sexually assault a woman even if she is dressed in a way that inevitably teases, but the fact is that many men WILL having been excited by such behaviour, and given any underlying issues mentioned here. Thus, a woman AUTOMATICALLY ups the chances of being sexually assaulted when she dresses sexually. And if things keep going the way they are, and given how many women seem to be pushing the envelope, men will only get worse.
Yes, when women, via such sexiness, make themselves an object of lust rather than an object of beauty, such assaults are clearly going to be an obvious outcome in a world that's far from perfect, morally bankrupt, and sick to boot.
Therefore, better out of sight and out of mind, or at least, thereby less in the mind. The situation is hardly going to improve until that which stirs lust in a man is removed from both the screen and the street.
So what has sexiness really done for women?
It has placed them in greater danger of an assault, it has made them an object of lust rather than an object of beauty, it has effectively degraded or downgraded them as a consequence, and thus has lessened many a man's respect for them, and therefore, now has men seeing them as more an object than the person that they are. In other words, the focus has gone from the person to the body, and from the protective caring of a man's heart to the threatening self centeredness of a man's mind.
I'm reminded of that restaurant chain in America that's called Bikinis, and where the female waiters are simply wearing nothing but bikinis. Where's the "Me Too" movement here? These waiters are being turned into nothing but objects for the perver who may well go home and masterbate as he replays over and over again what he ogled. It's outright abuse of women, and these women mentioned making themselves part of that problem. The truth is, they simply can't have it both ways.
The sexual aside, and given that it’s hardly the same world anymore, women should always mind that they not pointlessly put themselves at risk. It never ceases to amaze me how women will still go walking in the bush, down dark streets at night, and through the likes of bushy, tree laden parks and river trails on their own. It’s as if they’re not getting the message despite the daily reports of attacks and rapes occurring in these very same places. Sure it’s their right to walk when and where they like, but sense is ones greatest ally.
When I'm out on my bike and riding along near the river, I often see women on their own. I've warned my daughters not to. A while back a man came out of his backyard, which backs on to the river bank, and attacked, sexually assaulted  and killed a woman who was out jogging. I wasn't surprised and said that it no doubt wouldn't be the last time. And sure enough, another woman was badly attacked and sexually assaulted. Fortunately she didn't lose her life but will live with the scars for the remainder of her life. Yes, it was their right to walk when and where they liked, but both woman paid very dearly.
Women need to REMEMBER this: All those crimes we read about, hear about, and may even witness, are simply the tip of an iceberg. And the reason why is,
1) Because many women don’t report sexual assaults because they perceive it as shameful thing, don’t want to go through the trauma of court and reliving things, and don’t want to see their family landed with it too.
2) Thousands and thousands of women across the world go missing each year. Many, if not most the victims of foul play; their bodies never found, their killer never caught (given who knows what happened to them), or they languishing in some room (to put it nicely) where they’re held prisoner as a sex slave for who knows how long.
3) There are clearly many women who have narrowly missed out on being sexually assaulted, raped, or murdered, without them knowing it.
The truth is, there are far more bad men in the world than there are in prisons.
And here’s a few tips for women visiting other countries:
Never travel alone, but always with someone else, and preferably with more.
Never hitchhike.
Never do the following alone — Go out at night; Go off with someone; Go on bush walks, to remote places, or where few or no people are around.
Know that country’s emergency number.
Keep people posted as to where you are at all times.
Be very observant of all that’s going on around you. 

Added to on 20 December 2020.
Also see my poem
How Can Men Take Women Seriously?, Home page, and purple box titled: Concern For Men.



3.  Oh, Mandy, Mandy


Mandy wanted a husband, but gave herself to the boys,
They not into commitment, but simply playing with toys.
And she providing the pleasure, so play with her they did,
Until they found another playmate, and her, farewell bid.

Oh, Mandy, Mandy, why haven’t you and other girls learnt
That emulating a sex toy is how one just gets burnt.
Such users and abusers only eyeing the pantry,
And those obliging girls like you, always very handy.

By Lance Landall




2.  When A Woman Dresses Sexy:


1)
Sex becomes the focus and thus how a woman misdirects the interest of a man. Attractive highlights the person, sexy highlights the body. Attractive knows restraint, sexy pushes the envelope.
2)
She reaches for the “tools of the trade” rather than relying on her own merits; lessens the gap between the fitting and unfitting.
3)
In the eyes of men, she soon becomes identified as an object, a plaything, a vehicle for the fulfilment of lust and thus something simply to be used, and thus less valued and respected.
4)
She moves what was meant for the marital bedroom to the street where she may become some man’s fodder [fantasy] for masturbation or an unfulfilling marital relationship.
5)
She may draw an unacceptable-cum-unhealthy interest from her teenage sons whose hormones are racing.
6)
She opens herself up to men who’re only interested in seducing her, using her, and should she suffer a moment of weakness (especially if he’s attractive), or a rough patch in her marriage, she may well succumb to such attention.
7)
She, via such sexiness, can’t truly be sure why a man (suitor?), is drawn to her. In other words, is he drawn to her because of her character, personality, or more her body?
8)
She heightens the interest of predators whose sexual compulsions are naturally attracted to greater sexiness, and thus ups her chances of being assaulted. Though men should never assault sexually, women aren't helping the situation by such sexiness.
9)
She places temptation in the way of married men and indirectly may well aid discontent in their marriages thus doing other woman no favours.
10)
Rather than gaining greater respect from the male kingdom, she decreases such by virtue of the fact that she has lowered herself to a more common denominator — in other words, has become an object, a vehicle for sexual gratification only, and she now a teaser who’ll hardly say “Yes” to every “Please may I?” eye.
11)
She, via such sexiness, appeals to the lower nature rather than the higher nature.
12)
She even runs the risk of her husband becoming overindulgent, sexually distracted and thus less attentive to her as an individual.
13)
Public, daily sexiness is overstimulating males sexually thus leading to both a conscious and subconcious undercurrent of  sexual frustration amongst men.
14)
Women need to remember that men do not see women like women see men.
Men are instantly stirred by any sexual or sexy image which may replay over and over again in their mind.
Men are mentally, emotionally and physically different. And hence not only their greater need of sex, their greater vulnerability to temptation, but why they're more prone to sexual issues.


"It's funny, you know, but a woman in a bikini is effectively a woman in her bra and panties, just different material."
A woman's comment.


Yes, it is funny, isn't it, because if a woman was to walk down the street to the shops in her bra and panties, she would quickly be arrested. But change the material and there wouldn't be any problem.

Bearing sexiness in mind, a slight digression: I was reading a book where it stated that pushup bras make a woman's breasts look like butt. Yes, there's something very unnatural (even fake) about such a look.

"Feminism in its attempt to do away with the sexual double standard between men and women, has made sexiness a desirable trait. In the past, if a woman was called sexy she would have taken it as an insult. Many today accept it as a compliment. The result: women are dressing, acting and talking sexier. This has no doubt helped to open the door for the flood of increasingly explicit and violent pornography that has been sweeping the world, and has also made women more vulnerable."
One truth is, that the more women are objectified via the likes of advertisments say, the more dissatishfied men will become that none really match up to the fantasy they see.
Note the following two excerpts from the article: Gay Marriage, Distant Consequences, by Brian Fitzpatrick:


In Sex and Culture, a study of 86 human civilizations ranging from Rome to Tahiti, J.D. Unwin found that a society’s destiny is tied inseparably to the limits it imposes on sexual expression.

In The American Sex Revolution, Sorokin wrote that “both men and society are degraded” as a culture becomes “sexually obsessed.” “The members of such a society are habituated to look at the opposite sex as a mere instrument for pleasure…to these individuals, talk of human dignity, religious and moral commandments, and rules of decency is just bosh…the society degrades the values of womanhood and manhood, of motherhood and fatherhood, of childhood and venerable age, of marriage and family, and even of love itself.” Divorce, desertion, and deviance become commonplace, when “what used to be considered morally reprehensible is now recommended as a positive value; what was once called demoralization is now styled moral progress and a new freedom.” 


Note the following too, by Ruth Webb:


"Just as the ancient empires of Greece and Rome collapsed when every indulgence of the flesh took over, we in our society today need to heed the warning."


The sexual revolution has discouraged commitment and romance. Males can now get sex without marriage far more easily than they could in times past. They're also feeling able to enjoy the benefits of having a wife by cohabitation rather than by marriage. And the findings are that cohabitating men tend to be less committed to the relationship.

And here's something else to ponder on:

Firstly, when women display their breasts to any degree, they immediately attract the sexual interest of men, because men are stirred by such, (to surely state the obvious). After all, this is why Playboy magazine first introduced pictures of women baring their breasts, and that being sufficient enough to excite the male viewer.
And so, with this in mind, it might be worth your while dwelling on the following account by a male who was watching the news on TV one evening, where a women, who was attending an Oscar ceremony, was revealing her bountiful breasts to a considerable degree; such seemingly being a case of who can go the furthest these days.

“It was so revealing that I couldn’t help feeling that she might as well bare it all having gone so far — a wide, (almost nipple to nipple), and navel low, rectangle piece of fabric missing, the dress obviously designed that way.
I felt like there was a certain intimacy happening between her and I, because she was revealing so much of her erogenous territory to me, and what surely her husband alone should see, or if single, what only her bedroom mirror should see.
I felt like I was somehow partaking of her sexually, she obviously wanting me to see and enjoy her breasts, and as much of them as possible. Otherwise, why would she be displaying them so? 
I was only allowed to look, not touch, but her sharing such with me, via the TV at that time, drew me into some kind of implied or suggested sexual happening, even permission of some sort, albeit from a distance. At the end of the day, she would surely be aware that her ample revealing was making some kind of statement, and what other statement would it be but a sexual one of some sort, breasts hardly like arms and legs, but also performing a sexual function.
To be honest, I wasn't really paying all that much attention to her, but that frustrating statement she was making.
I hardly knew her, and yet, I was privy, as it were, (right there in my lounge), to a good portion of revealed titillation that can raise a man’s heart rate."

The following, in its context, could be said:  "Femininity is power, sexiness failure."

It's also worth remembering the old saying: "If it's not for sale, take the sign down!"

This article was upgraded 14 December 2018



3.  The Dangers Of Porn:


"There is no protection against the kinds of influences that are loose in a society that tolerates pornography."
Ted Bundy, serial sex murderer.


1) Those grubby images will be forever stored — and once in the head, a plague, resident and usurper in the marital bed.
2) Porn objectifies woman, uses them, and even turns them into prey — men regarding them with less value and respect.
3) It hardens a man’s heart, lessens his tenderness when it comes to sex, and in general.
4) It messes with a man’s head, creates warped views.
5) It drains.
6) It exploits a man’s weaknesses.
7) It causes selfishness.
8) It degrades both those involved and those viewing.
9) What begins with a high, simply ends in negative feelings, as with drugs.
10) Porn results in a pattern of hopeless addiction and escalation, the need for greater stimulus growing. Soft-core becomes hard-core, fantasy becomes a reality must, and hence the escalation in sexual crimes — and how many more Ted Bundys? Such particularly arousing dangerous emotions in the immature, young, disturbed and criminal classes.
11) It creates unfair and unrealistic expectations.
12) It creates sexual problems such as erectile dysfunction.
13) It destroys men, marriages and homes — porn damages trust.
14) It damages one's ability to have a healthy relationship with women in general and a potential partner.
15) It’s sex without intimacy, sex without emotional closeness, and therefore, ultimately creates an emotional distance in relationships. 
16) It leads to men not being able to get aroused by their wife because the brain can’t associate arousal and release with a person anymore. Hence the need to recall those images, the brain having become rewired, its chemistry altered. The visual stimulation of pornography coupled with the secrecy that usually goes with it, is a very powerful  combination, a certain and abnormal high that one can't really achieve when having sex with an actual person. Hence how it makes normal, healthy sexual intimacy seem boring, and even without the secrecy.
17) Porn addicts have to go through the same difficult recovery process that drug addicts go through.
18) It masks needs that should be met through human connections.
19) It can jeopardize one's work, has men constantly replaying those same images throughout the day.
20) It’s mental adultery, unfaithfulness.
21) It dirties manhood.
22) It competes with one’s wife who hasn't a hope of beating the competition.
23) It takes something good and badly sullies it.
24) It effectively turns men into perverts, licentious creeps and peeping toms.
25) It leads to unhealthy masterbation.
26) The porn industry is riddled with disease and corruption — porn is linked to prostitution and sex trafficking.
27) Porn affects one's ability to think and function normally, it causing a shrinkage of those brain regions used for motivation and decision making.
28) It creates a surge of chemicals as destructive to one's health as prolonged adrenalin is.
29) It has men sizing up the body of every passing woman as if she's a piece of meat.
30) It lessens a man's sensitivity to sexual violence against women.
31) It can have men thinking very cruel and violent thoughts regarding what they would actually like to do with women if they could get the chance, such not far removed from those deadful things that were done to women in the Nazi concentration camps. And that's the truth of it, because men who're bad in the first place, become even more so after a diet of porn; and good men can become terribly corrupted.
32) Porn affects society, not just individuals.
33) Porn's fantasy figures make things harder for those women who're not so well endowed and who struggle with low self-esteem already.
34) Porn goes against the biblical “one flesh” principle, violates God's seventh and tenth Commandment, violates the Christian's marital covenant, and the covenant a Christian makes between God and the rightful use of ones eyes.


"Pornography is the theory, and rape is the practice."
Robin Morgan


So how does porn work?

1)
It creates an intense feeling of physical excitement accompanied by guilty feelings given its most unworthy, scandalous nature and shock value; that fusion of feelings and thoughts even akin to feverishness. Hence why it can be draining. When men get inflamed so, it acts like a toxin in their body, thus leading to ill health.
2)
Those pornographic images, scenes, are replayed over and over again, are regularly in ones thoughts, day after day, week after week, year after year, and are even added to via ones imagination.
3)
In time, more daring and disgusting images are needed to get the same rush, the same affect.
4)
a) Those images are taken into the marital bed, and there, ones wife is encouraged to join in acting out those same scenes or that same behaviour, as far as ones wife is willing to oblige, that is.
b) Where ones wife is unwilling to oblige, or where one knows ones wife would be thoroughly disgusted by such, those images, scenes, are replayed in the mind whilst having sex, one even imagining ones wife in the thick of it.
5)
Where a man has no wife, and feels that he has no access to women, obsessive masturbation is the order of the day, which not only can result in possible damage to his organ, but ill health too.
6)
The incendiaryness of porn, especially when it comes to certain people, types, can lead to sexual assaults given how inflamed the mind and body can become — fantasy having to meet its ultimate in reality, porn having created a need that requires urgent and repeated fulfilment and release. And those fantasies, by the way, can be very sick.
For example: A woman, or women, being chained, shackled, or held in certain positions while a man, or men, have their perverted, shocking and violent way — that woman, or those women, forced to accept whatever is done to them, and forced to accept whatever those men want done to them, such being porn's ultimate fantasy, of course, a sex slave. And then comes snuff movies where women are raped and killed.
And hence those accounts on the six o'clock News, (no doubt the tip of an iceberg), about a woman, or women, having being held in dungeons, as it were, some man's basement — and this, I would imagine, where some or many of those missing women have ended up.
7)
After the rush of viewing porn is over, one can be left feeling contaminated, low, drained and guilty.


"I've met a lot of men who were motivated to commit violence just like me. And without exception, without question, every one of them was deeply involved in pornography, deeply consumed by the addiction."
Ted Bundy

"As we have been talking, there are forces at loose in this country, especially this kind of violent pornography, where, on one hand, well-meaning people will condemn the behavior of a Ted Bundy while they’re walking past a magazine rack full of the very kinds of things that send young kids down the road to being Ted Bundys. That’s the irony."
Ted Bundy
Both quotes being from when he was interviewed by James Dobson just before his execution.


In the context of the marital bedroom, sex is a wonderful, enjoyable, magical thing, a special and deep intimacy that two people of the opposite sex only share between them. It’s something that cements their relationship, binding them together with a special cord that’s not meant to be untied, nor marred or slowly shredded by the inappropriate.
But outside the context of the marital bed, and that committed, permanent relationship, (procreation pointing to its seriousness), such sex simply falls into the category of nothing more than irresponsibility, lust, a means to a selfish end; it a drug-like fix, a hollow and even animal act that takes or leaves.
When sex becomes an anytime with anyone you fancy thing, it loses its specialness, its important place and role, even becomes degraded, and nothing more than a momentary physical buzz that thwarts its main intention, and that being, to strengthen a deep, close and enduring relationship that provides security for both the couple and any children that they have.

Check out these porn statistics:

http://www.covenanteyes.com/pornstats/

Oh, a note about:
ORAL SEX,
and bearing in mind that a penis is also a urinary track,
that we aren't living in a world that's pure and sterile, free from bacteria or other living microorganisms, and that the genital area can be a hotbed of bacteria:

When oral sex is indulged in
(and more so where there's promiscurity) there’s a risk of:
a) Infections.
b) If the other person is infected with the sexual diseases (STD) Gonorrhoea, Syphilis and Chlamydia, there’s the risk of them transmitting them to the throat; along with HSV which can cause pharyngitis, an inflammation of the throat with ulcer formation.
This information was drawn from www.netdoctor.co.uk which also stated:
“Today’s high rates of oral sex are linked to the rising incidence of throat and mouth cancer.”
That same website also contained this:
According to the American Association for Cancer Research, more than 50 per cent of all oral cancers are now HPV related – though many others are caused by tobacco or alcohol.
This problem is also confirmed in the book "What's Happening To Our Girls?" by Maggie Hamilton.


"Porn is sex's dirty cousin."
The Author


Drawn from various sources.
Upgraded 18 September 2018



4.  On Reducing Rapes


1) Remove pornography — because it leads to addiction, obsession, and violating compulsions that can become uncontrollable.
2) Stop perpetuating the myth that rape is always a power thing — because rape can simply be the result of inflamed desires that eventually won’t take no for an answer. And this being Ted Bundy's own experience, by admission, (he a serial rapist, killer, born in 1946 and executed by electric chair in 1989).
3) Remove both the sexual and violent content so often wed to and so commonly associated with movies and TV programmes — because such has women seen as objects, decreases sensitivity, and also leaves replayed impressions on the mind that can lead to copycat scenarios.
4) Encourage abstinence before marriage and frown on promiscuity — because “boys will be boys” and inevitably pressure their dates, and there’s a fine line between pressure and rape.
5) Remove alcohol from the equation — because:
a) Alcohol affects that area in the brain where judgments are made, and thus has men acting under the influence.
b) There are men who will take advantage of a woman who's under the influence.
6) Help women realize that sexiness is a neon sign which highlights them in the sights of both porn fuelled attackers and outright predators who're even more attracted to such titillation.
7) Help women realise that predators like places where there’s no one about but their intended victim, and they also prefer the cover of darkness.
8) Help women realise that though their body is theirs, and that though they’ve a right to wear what they like, that prudence is a good friend, one that can spare them unnecessary pain and suffering.
9) Help women realise that when they’re dating that such is wiser done where others aren’t far away.
10) Help women realise that it's somewhat hypocritical to protest over "violence to women" whilst watching such on TV or in the movies, much of it where there's also sexual content, be it wed to that violence or not.
11) Help the women who're involved in the porn industry, and those related Hollywood movies, realise the explosiveness of what they're doing, and that they must take some responsibility for the consequences.
12) Help women to realise that two realities are:
a) That the looser they are, the less men will respect their wishes, because men will assume that they're not as concerned about things.
b) That some men who get fired up over what they perceive as teasing, think that such teasers need to be taught a lesson, hence their offending.
13) Shift the focus from blaming men to helping men.
14) Realise that rape is not going to go away given the kind of world that we're living in, and therefore, that following these points or rules that I've placed here, is the only way to at least cut rapes back.
Educating people is all very well, (as I'm trying to do here), but education isn't a magic wand, and changed hearts and minds being the only real answer, which, though such is occuring in the lives of many, it clearly won't occur in the lives of all.
Yes, there's no excuse for rapes, but there are reasons why they're occuring, and it's those reasons that need addressing.

Upgraded 27 April 2017




5.  Breast Implants


What your plastic surgeon is hardly likely to tell you, or will downplay:
Silicone implants are one of the most dangerous things that you can have placed in your body.

Remember this: That there's a lot of people getting a lot of money out of this. We're effectively looking at another tobacco scenario.


Yes, so much could be said about the dangers of breast implants, but for brevity sake:

When it comes to ones body, implants are an unnecessary FOREIGN OBJECT and ones body will invariably react to such — and I meaning, in very negative ways. To put it another way: One's body will always treat breast implants as an enemy.

But breast implants, in themselves, are actually a very dangerous form of cosmetic surgery, and a very costly long term thing to embark on. It should also be noted that it is harder to breast feed as a result, and that it's also harder to detect breast cancer as a result, and that the implants may rupture from the pressure of mammograms.

A woman will face multiple operations, (and thus more scarring), given that the implants have a limited lifespan, (10-15 years), and therefore need to be replaced every so often. Meantime, it is very common for them to rupture and the silicon within can migrate leading to very serious health issues. Such silicon has been found in the brain, spinal fluid, ovaries, liver and other organs. The sad thing is that women aren’t always aware that their implants have ruptured, such meantime injuring without them knowing. And this being why women with implants have to mind any external pressures that might be applied to their chest lest their implants rupture either immediately or with time.
A study found that even among those women who had never complained of any perceived trouble with their breast implants, MRI scans showed that two thirds of them had ruptured implants on at least one side.
Because women can't always be sure whether their implants have ruptured or not, such is an argument, I guess, for  regular replacement even where everything seems fine. One woman may get a good distance, 20 years maybe, without any apparent problems. Another woman might have a rupture within five years or less, or other problems. Complications are known to become more and more common for each year that the implants spend in a woman's body.

As a result of breast implants, women can suffer from chronic breast pain and breast and nipple numbness.

When breast implants are removed and not inserted again, for whatever reason, a woman’s breasts will be all the worse for the trouble, the breasts having been bruised, knocked about and stretched via the pressure and weight of the implants and any ongoing surgery that occurred. The larger those implants get each time, (as a woman may desire, and having stretched more), the worse they make the situation. When a woman falls pregnant, and her breasts fill, they can look as if they're about to burst. After all, there's hardly any room for the milk given that the implants have effectively removed the breasts ability to naturally stretch? All this also adds to the general stretching I've mentioned, let alone any unnatural look. And by the way, when a woman with implants is in a bikini, such are easier to spot given that such breasts oft present themselves differently, less naturally, even oddly.
And a woman's breasts that are fitted with implants will not feel the same as natural breasts, but harder, and more so when she's lying down given that that is when the breasts normally flatten out, so to speak, and which those implants can't the same.
Reconstruction surgery also leaves its negatives. And there can be a loss of breast tissue leaving a woman worse off than she was before she embarked on implants.

There is also the possibility of medical complications.

Scar tissue will form with its own set of problems, let alone any pain. This is called capsular contracture. As a result the implants can  harden and thus their shape alter for the worse.

Bacteria and mold can not only be present in the implants but be released from the implants into ones body causing serious infection.

Ruptured and leaking breast implants can cause a host of auto-immune diseases.

Yes, here's a few more things that can happen after having implants inserted:
Fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, scleroderma, multiple chemical sensitivity disorder, biotoxicity problems, muscle pain, swollen glands or lymph nodes, unexplained fatigue, hair loss, etc.

Breast implants, otherwise known as silicone implants, are very prone to the leakage of cancer causing neurotoxic agents.
Here is what I understand is found in silicon breast implants:

Methyl Ethyl Ketone
Cyclohexanone
Isopropyl Alcohol
Denatured Alcohol
Acetone
Urethane7 Polyvinyl Chloride (Liquid Vinyl).
Lacquer Thinner
Ethyl Acetate
Epoxy Rexin
Epoxy Hardener 
Amine
Printing Ink
Toluene
Dichloromethan (Methylene Chloride) 
Freon
Silicone
Flux
Solder
Metal Cleaning Acid
Lofol (Formaldehyde)
Talcum Powder
Color Pigments as Release agents
Oakite (Cleaning Solvent)
Eastman 910 Glue (Cyanoacyrylates)
Ethylene Oxide (ETO)
Cabob Black
Xylen
Hexone
Hexanone 2
Thixon-OSN-2
Acid Stearic
Zinc Oxide
Naptha (Rubber Solvent)
Phenol
Benzene-Known Carcinogen

And this why many women have become very ill, have even died, for all I know.
Women with implants can pass these toxic chemicals onto their baby when they’re breast feeding.
Saline implants are no better given that they still have a silicone shell and also have their own issues, valve and deflation problems among them.
And as for Gummy Bear implants — cohesive silicone implants — they're no more safer to ones body than any other type. Those chemicals that make up the implant will leech out over time whether there's a rupture or not, aided and abetted by body temperature, movement-cum-rubbing, etc, etc.
A note about rubbing: It needs to be remembered that silicone implants are a free capsule. They're not attached to the inside of the breast in some way, and therefore, they're able to move, hence the rubbing.

The truth is, that there are, and is going to be, a host of women out there with disfigured breasts and terrible health problems. It’s just not worth it. Better small, soft, warm, natural and healthy, better a women be herself and not something that she really isn’t. At the end of the day, breast implants are really just fooling folk. They're not the real deal.

Note:
"Breast implants in France will now carry a warning after France's National Cancer Institute found a clear link between silicone implants and anaplastic large cell lymphoma (ALCL)."
News release from the Ministry of Social Affairs, Health and Women's Rights (ANSM), France.

And something else that women need to remember is, that it's harder to live with the loss of their implants, (where removed), than it was to live with their smallness.
And the crazy thing about all this is, that many women who're dissatishfied don't have anything to be dissatishfied with at all. It's a bit like someone not being happy with their lovely two bedroom house and going all out to get a four bedroom house, but at greater costs and with the potential for things to badly unravel.
Oh, movies, TV and certain magazines have a lot to answer for. Yes, fantasy figures for a fantasy world.

You might like to read the following books:
The Naked Truth About Breast Implants by Dr. Susan Kolb M D. F.A.C.S.A.B.L.H.M
Breast Implants — Everything You Need To Know by Nancy Bruning.

Update:
According to New Zealand's TV3 six o'clock news, 28 August 2017: So far, (as of this date), five women have died in Australia, and three in New Zealand, from cancer linked to breast implants.

Upgraded 28 August 2016



6.  Men And Women, Their Differences


Taken from the book True Sexuality by Ken Unger

Being a man or a woman constitutes a different way of expressing the humanity that both share equally.
The average man is taller than the average woman.
The male skeleton is usually stronger than the woman’s. The bones are thicker and heavier. The greater strength of its bone structure obviously equips the man’s body better than the woman’s to overcome physical obstacles and to carry loads. The man has greater steadiness, strength and stress resistance due to his stronger bones. The man’s hand is stronger and bonier pointing to the fact that the man is built to control the environment practically and creatively, whereas the softer daintier woman’s hand is more suited to taking in hand the environment and looking after and caring for it protectively. A man’s bones are more angular, more rugged in shape, while the woman’s have rounder, less sharply marked forms and blunter corners. Woman’s bones are not merely finer, thinner and more graceful, but also softer, rounder and less rugged in shape. The more angular shape of the male body is more fitted for resistance, assaults and pushing than the rounder female body.
The striated muscles in men are more strongly developed and constructed than women’s. They serve above all for dealing with external obstacles. Wherever we manipulate, model or effect the environment, the striated muscles come into action. The man’s superior equipment in this respect and his stronger bone structure indicate that by nature the male rather than the female is designed to overcome external environmental obstacles, to reshape and master the environment. The woman is also naturally active, and is particularly concerned with things in her immediate environment. But her activity does not involve her much in pushing forward and overcoming external obstacles, so much as in caring and nursing, in sorting, tidying and polishing. A woman’s muscles are particularly suited to their tasks. They are by nature less suited to strong contractions than to active compliance at the right moment.
The suitability of women’s muscles to their tasks matches a similar capability of women in the psychological realm. The woman’s psyche, just like her muscles, can adapt very rapidly to every internal and external change. The average woman adjusts mentally and physiologically to external circumstances with versatility and adaptability.
The relative lack of muscle in women, which incidentally is not culturally conditioned but is the result of hormonal differences, is compensated for by more fat. As a result of this, and the shape of the bones already mentioned, the woman’s body is rounder and the mans more angular. We may sum up by saying that the man’s bodily frame is fitted for remodelling the environment, while the woman’s bodily shape expresses her greater gifts in arranging and caring for a circumscribed world of the nearest and most intimate things.
A woman’s skin is much softer, more tender, and smoother than a man’s, giving greater sensitivity. Women are therefore more aware of the pleasures of touch. This greater sensitivity of the skin matches the greater sensitivity of women in the psychological realm, their ability to approach matters carefully, their greater adaptability and sympathy, their capacity to give and take and to go along with situations; whereas the man tends to try to alter reality by changing it.
A woman, in contrast with all highly developed animals, has the appearance of motherhood without being or becoming a mother. This fact shows that the woman is built for motherhood as the goal and fulfilment of her being. The capacity for natural motherhood matches the motherliness in a woman’s psychological make-up, which may be developed even if biological motherhood is denied her.
The sexual organs serve the purpose of procreation and the establishment of new life. They thereby point to the man’s natural function of begetting and the woman’s of bearing. They also point to the man’s appointment to fatherhood and the woman’s to motherhood. The design of the sexual organs has as its consequence that the man as begetter in the act of intercourse is the active, giving and life-creating party, while the woman as bearer is the passive, receiving and life-sustaining party. Female passivity, male activity, female letting-it-happen, male effecting it, female receiving, male outpouring, female being found, male seeking and acquiring characterize the physical interaction of sexual intercourse. While the man has the more leading role and makes the ultimate decision if and when the union takes place, the behaviour of the woman is that of loving subjection, which she fulfils through the offering of her body. The woman’s resting egg is penetrated by the male sperm, awakening and bringing it into development. While a man simply becomes a father through begetting, conception is for the woman only the beginning of a period of far-reaching burdens and demands. The physical contribution of the man is thus fleeting in comparison with the bodily processes which the woman undertakes in motherhood. While a man is more strongly equipped for creative or destructive remodelling of his environment, the woman is more strongly equipped for arranging what the man has acquired for her or she has received from him.
A man’s life is characterized more by spontaneity than a woman’s: a woman’s life is characterized more by receptivity than a man’s. Among examples of man’s grater spontaneity one may cite his greater drive, greater aggressiveness, greater desire for leadership [dominance] and his particular capacity for creative achievements in all fields of intellectual life, a sort of intellectual procreative ability and analogous to his biological procreativity.
Women have verbal superiority [linguistic, articulation, fluency, relating]. Men have spatial conceptualization superiority [technical, mathematical, scientific, industrial, discovery, inventing, philosophy, art, musical composition] and abstract thinking [chess]. The most brilliant achievements in the realms of philosophy, art, and musical composition and the pioneering discoveries in modern science are overwhelmingly the work of men. Invention is also predominantly a male preserve. Man is well known in his thinking to be the more creative, the woman is known to be more receptive when it comes to thought. This is confirmed by aptitude tests which have shown male superiority when it comes to comprehension and reasoning, while women excel in all rote-learning tasks.
Regarding total intelligence the sexes are not really different.
Women are more holistic, more dominated by their feelings and more emotional. She is in less danger than a man is of isolating her soul from her body or her thinking from her feelings. A woman has a more developed relationship to the world of persons, a greater readiness to submit to the leadership of others [to serve, to give others help and support when they are in trouble] and a greater sociability [the tendency to seek the company of others and take pleasure in it]. Man has a more developed relationship to the world of things, is more eccentric and his thinking is more strongly directed toward the conceptual and general. For men this carries the danger that their reflection may become autonomous and cut off from the real world. The greater receptivity of women is seen in her greater ability and willingness to imitate, her greater adaptability and suggestibility, her greater linguistic aptitude and her superior capacity to sympathize, which rests on their greater sensitivity to people’s expression of feeling.
Whereas male cells contain a Y-chromosome and an X-chromosome, female cells have two X-chromosomes. This difference involves all the cells of the organism; probably the real personal differences between the sexes are determined by this. Sexuality affects the whole of a person’s body and not only a part. It is also evident in different hormone levels, in the different constitution of the blood and bodily liquids, of the nervous system, of internal organs and brain structure.
Every person possesses to a certain extent sexually specific characteristics of the other sex. This goes for biological as well as intellectual and psychological aspects. So in this way there is neither a total man nor a total woman.

This article is repeated in my Christian section.

You might like to read the book Why Men Don't Listen And Women Can't Read Maps. Though not endorsing everything within this book, it does bear out (in its own way) much of what Ken Unger has conveyed.



7.  As I Believe It


Contains a couple of Christian thoughts and is best read after the article above.

Males have always been the dominant sex, and always will be, and this having everything to do with Nature and not nurture or culture, but it all to do with those aspects unique to, and clearly apparent in, each sex.

Men testosterone driven, women oestrogen bound.
So, men and women were clearly designed to compliment each other, man being the protector of the woman’s well-being and having both her and her children’s best interests at heart, and she responding to his manly loving care with a willing acceptance that works in harmony with that mutually benefiting path, of which, both fatherliness and motherliness are a part. It all a natural, holistic, balanced, happy scene. 
I personally find it intriguing how Nature concurs with the Bible and the Bible concurs with Nature. Surely that’s telling us something. Women are the weaker sex, the apostle Peter says (1 Peter 3:7), though not derogatorily so, but only in the context that women are somewhat dependent on that more stable, ironclad and shouldering masculinity that gives man his appeal — women more geared for raising children (lovingly sensitive), they more vulnerable by nature, less robust physically, more temperamental, all things nice like sugar and spice, and therefore needing to be tenderly looked after (child bearers especially needing support and security).
Hence why men are instinctively drawn to that damsel in distress.
I personally would have used the word "gentler" rather than "weaker."
However, despite that
more stable, ironclad, and shouldering masculinity, there's certainly a degree of truth to the old saying: "Women can live without men, but men can't live without women. This showing just how important women are, and hence that other saying: "Behind every great man is a great woman."
But getting back to what I was saying, this being why the Bible instructs men to love their wives like Christ loved the Church — with doting care; the dying Christ telling the apostle John to look after His mother for Him.
However, all this falls down when a man loses his nobility and goes from guider, lover and protector, to user, abuser and attacker.
Traditionally, and by nature again, women have always desired that chivalrous, noble, rescuing knight in shiny armour who battles against ill, but alas, that knight has become but a shadow of his former self, his helmet missing, his armour battered, his sword blunted, his horse having bolted, and he too concussed to know what’s hit him.
Sadly, it’s all looking pretty pessimistic, but any change only coming via a return to the original blueprint that saw men and women working harmoniously in a complimentary way, both having their own sphere and functions, it all clear, in sync, and amicable.
So how’s it all gone wrong?
Well, various forces have clearly been at work here, and among them:
1) The corruption of a man’s mind and feelings via the likes of pornography, debasing material (watched or read) that soon has women seen as playthings, objects, something more to be used than valued, and thus loving care retreating from the scene, a man’s heart becoming harder, desensitised, even cruel and evil.
War, oppression, greed, filthy lucre and selfish ambition have also hardened man.
2) The feministic belittling of men and their undermining of the sexes complementary roles and functions,  a man less valued now too, he simply a means to an end, perhaps; women supposedly now able to do anything a man can do, such stripping him of that mystery unique to manhood that makes him what, who and how he is, just as that mystery unique to womanhood makes her what, who and how she is.
3) Women have largely forsaken the love of home and children in order to reach the shallow pinnacles of ambition (the age old lie of greater heights), in order to build nothing more than sandcastles, and women have exchanged their natural feminine ways, talents (and even dress) for that cut and thrust of the CEO table, that rawness and raunchiness that was once the sole domain of the red-light district, or the result of intoxication, and for that errant macho behaviour that has more to do with immaturity than masculinity.
Yes, women cussing, swearing, boozing, ranting, wearing the pants or next to nothing, they acting just as embarrassingly horny, as disgracefully crude, and as childishly cocky, and they toting guns, driving big rigs, boxing, or grappling on the muddy, bloodied rugby field — yes, of course they can do the latter too, but it all a big turn off rather than a turn on, like those black and blue tattoos that now deface their gorgeous bodies too, and health problems that once stalked men now stalking them.
Yes,
"Where are you, Mummy?"
"I'm under the car getting the %$@*# sump off. Tell Daddy to pour me a beer, will you."
No, it somehow just doesn't gel with Nature. Men for the rough and tough, women for the soft and tender.
Can't men be left with something that makes them feel they're men? Young boys wanting to be like their big rig handling dad. Hardly like their big rig handling pistol packing mama.
Men have always felt more manly doing those things that are more associated with masculinity.
Just as the more a woman exhibits herself sexually the more men will be attracted to her sexually (and therein lies potential trouble), so too the more feminine a woman is (both in dress and manner) the more men will be attracted to her greater difference from them. Just like good people stand out from the crowd these days. Crass people being two a penny.
But, sadly so, Maid Marion is just as soiled now (partly thanks to that macho girl power thing), the drawbridge is down, the guards have been drugged, the castle's been broken into, the king's been removed, and an impostor's flag is dancing in the ill wind, it surrounded by laughing gargoyles, eye-picking crows and commandeered cannons.

And so it goes, has gone, hence why we now see effeminate men and masculine women, disturbing look-alikes, both an insult to their sex and a confusion in the minds of young children given that the complimentary role models have degenerated into an empty farce
that’s if both are around, of course, mum doing what dad always did, dad doing what mum always did — and as for Gay marriages and adoptions — yes, it’s all a politically correct mess, a denial of what’s really right, and what really works best.
Yes, so much for snips and snails and puppy dog tails. Women toughing it out with the boys, giving back as good as they wrongly get, and barking orders just as loud. And no wonder many aren't worried about their figures the same.

And the result?
A far worse world for both women and children, less loving concern and respect on both sides of the gender fence, and cause for greater fear; men corrupted, their image distorted, their honour in tatters, their natural functioning hampered, and they feeling threatened and angry; their birthright stolen
enter domestic abuse, unfaithfulness, rape, depression and a self-destructing society that has little to be proud of and much to hang its head over.
And much damage (to both men and women) courtesy of feminism; mistreated women having thrown the baby out with the bathwater.
The truth is, there’ll always be bad men just like there’ll always be bad women.
Feminism’s no more the answer to the so-called battle of the sexes than nuclear arms are the answer to restoring peace and harmony in the world.
Once women could wrap a man around their little finger with their feminine charms (appealing to his heart). Now they’ve gone for sex, it seems (appealing to his loins), a sure sign of failure, and an even greater stumbling block for men.

Upgraded 15 October 2019.



 You might like to also read this:

Ex-escort Says Women To Blame For Lack Of Good Men


She’s the former Aussie escort who famously spoke out about bedding 10,000 men, and now Gwyneth Montenegro has controversially claimed there’s a severe lack of decent men out there – and it’s due to women being too “militant”.
Melbourne-based Gywneth claims to have surveyed 60,000 women in an attempt to identify relationship profiles.
Gwyneth says her research shows profiles have changed significantly in recent years, with the most common male profiles revealing “a degree of displeasure or resentment toward women”.
And the former sex worker claims women are partly responsible for this.
"We’ve used female rights to ambush and complain instead of to negotiate and to talk,” she told the Daily Mail.
Gwyneth insists she’s a feminist, but also says that “feminism has its place”, and claims men nowadays are left “wondering why there’s so much hatred” towards them.
“We loudly picket and demand if we don’t get our way," she explained.
“We live in a world where it’s common place for women to cry rape in order to get back at a man.”
Gwyneth, who worked in the sex industry for 12 years and used to charge up to $1000 an hour for her services, says in her experience, men just want a woman they can love and protect
These days, Gwyneth is now trained in neuro-linguistic programming which helps people with personal development, and says men are too scared to be chivalrous for fear of abuse.
“I don’t want to be so brazen as to just blame feminism for this,” she told news.com.au earlier this year.
“However, I think there is a part to play where men do feel emasculated. They don’t know ‘should I open the door? Will I get yelled at?’”
 By Allison Yee, Yahoo news article, July 2017.


Some Things Feminists Have Told Us:

That women can do anything a man can.

Well, men always knew that, but prefer women to be women because that’s what they’re attracted to. And I don’t think many women would be that interested in dealing with waste, fixing sewer pipes, digging drains and so on, nor thrilled about opening doors for men instead.

That women can burn their bras.

Well, that’s up to them, but premature sagging is hardly to their advantage.

That women don’t need a man.

Well, try telling that to the vast majority of women who still desire otherwise.

That women can go out to work and leave their husbands at home to look after the kids, do the washing and housework.

Well, they can if they’re happy with a New Age man who doesn’t fit the manly image of protector, provider, load-bearer, handyman, and knight in shining armour who comes home to his princess after the stroke inducing stress of heated boardroom exchanges, demanding bosses, riled clients, deadlines to meet, boring, repetitious routines, overtime, and little if any thanks.

That women have as much right to wear as little as they want.

Well, be that true, say, such women have simply opened themselves up to being lecherously leered at, sexually pursued, stalked and objectified all the more.

That’s God’s a female.

Well, when His Son was on Earth, everyone saw that He was a man, and He said that anyone who’d seem Him had seen His Father, and that the Lord’s prayer begins with, “Our Father who art in Heaven.”



8.  Women Rulers?


When Barack Obama was in New Zealand (March 2018) he stated that he would like to see women ruling the world for two years and that as a result there’d be no conflict (TV3 News 23 March).
To be honest, it baffles me how such statements can come out of such men.
Not only are women a same reflection of the sad state of affairs today, but history is strewn with, and has shown that, they’re just as capable of treachery, deception, cruelty, crime, corruption and degradation.
I could supply many examples from murderous queens, Jezebels and corrupt politicians to serial killers and unfit managers and mothers.
It’s not women that’s the answer anymore than men, but good people.
It’s not even more women that is needed, but more people who’re suitably qualified for the particular task and who’re of noble character.
If men outweigh women in this regard, or if women outweigh men in this regard, so be it. In other words, if this means that there's more men in parliament than women, or that there's more women in parliament than men, so be it. Lets keep the sexes thing right out of it. Such is nothing but politically correct, feminist nonsense. However, where men are better suited for some task or role, why not? And visa versa.
Who came up with the silly idea anyway, that a woman has to be a president, mayor, or CEO (or anything else), in order to prove anything?
The truth is, that women don’t have to prove anything at all, but simply be themselves, rejoicing in their femininity, their wonderful difference, their mysterious uniqueness and special attraction. And the latter is lost or marred by them trying to emulate or compete with men.
The differences between a man and woman are designed to complement, and this, in the home, church and society.
They both being equal in worth and being, but simply functioning in differing roles and ways at times, not because of force, but natural gravitation, instinct and sense.
And there being no inequality or inferiorness in this, except perhaps in the minds of those who’ve been fooled by the likes of feminist propaganda that has only served to make the lot of women worse.
And until this is recognised by all, there will be even bigger problems than those that have always existed between the sexes.
The truth is, that the sexes were meant to compliment and support each other, not turn on each other, not compete with each other, not do without each other, not harm each other, but bring out the best in each other.
And hence why men aren't meant to think and act like women, nor women like men, and why men will always be men, and
women, women.



9.  The Benefits Of A Woman At Home


A woman at home means that her school age children have someone to come home to, someone who’s always there — this preventing latchkey syndrome, lessening ill for idle hands made easier where parents are absent, creating a certain security, and giving her children someone to offload their school or general anxieties onto.

A woman at home frees up employment thus lessening unemployment.

A woman at home is good for neighbourhood watch — thieves and opportunists knowing that there are people about.

A woman at home provides stability for her working husband, who, just like the children, knows that she’s there — this taking strain off him, allowing him to concentrate more fully on his job, a career or business, which benefits both his wife and children.

A woman at home has the most important and greatest responsibility of all — raising sound, well-balanced, secure, happy citizens;  future doctors, mayors, policemen, etc.

A woman at home lessens certain stresses associated with both parents working who as a result of those stresses have less time for a number of beneficial and important things.

A woman at home is freer to help out in the community — helping new mothers, her or his elderly parents, giving neighbourhood support, volunteering, simply being there.

A woman at home can put more into the home from which wonderful memories can grow, and there’s nothing that beats that smell of freshly baked cookies that greets children who’ve returned from school; or that special dinner, attractively dressed, attentive wife, and titivated home that greets a husband returning from a frazzled day at work.

A woman at home has more time to deal with household emergencies and breakdowns, is there for repairmen, is able to take her children to appointments, visit school teachers, mind her sick child, and can check out appliances and so on needing to be researched and replaced.

A woman at home reflects the importance and wholesomeness of the home too often unnecessarily sacrificed for the so-called freedom of pursuing a career that in the scheme of things is but a shallow exchange; likewise material baubles.

A woman at home is freer to pursue hobbies and interests that not only are fulfilling and pleasurable but beneficial to both her husband and children.

A woman at home spares herself from the temptation of an affair so often associated with the work place.

A woman at home enhances the marriage given that she has far more time to concentrate on it and any issues related to it.

A woman at home is a role model for home skills that seen and learnt can prove a blessing in her children’s marriage and home.

A woman at home bonds better with her children and enhances their development.

A woman at home doesn't miss out the same on the likes of those first steps and so on.

A woman at home doesn't suffer from the same guilt trips that a working mother does.

A woman at home can better handle certain demands.

A woman at home is her own boss.

A woman at home is doing what a woman should be doing — raising her child herself.

A woman at home shields her children from the negative influences of day care centres where so many children are placed almost from the get go.



10.  Why Abortions Shouldn't Take Place


"I've noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born."
Ronald Reagan

Abortion promotes a culture in which human life is disposable. 
Abortion is not a safe medical procedure and can lead to future medical problems for the mother.
Abortion can cause psychological damage.
Abortions are something that no women was ever intended to have.
Abortion violates the Hippocratic Oath that doctors have traditionally taken.
Abortion hardly fits with being a culture of civilized human beings.
Women who abort their child in order to get their guy to stay with them often find that they are left alone anyway.
People need to take responsibility for their actions and accept the consequences. How many abortions being the result of promiscuity, one-night stands and short term relationships?
A child doesn’t deserve to die because his or her mother was irresponsible.
The sanctity of life should always be upheld and at every level. As Albert Schweitzer said: “If a man loses reverence for any part of life, he will lose reverence for all life.”
Abortion not only attacks the sanctity of life but lessens ones respect for it.
Life in the womb is equal in value to human life outside the womb.
The decision to abort doesn’t involve just one body, it involves killing another human being that has his or her own body.
Abortion is something that's hardly a right but a choice, one that's made without the consent of the other.
Whichever way one likes to look at it, abortion is still murder, the willful taking of a life; and life starting at the moment of conception.
All innocent beings should be afforded protection under the law.
Such unborn children are deprived of life simply based on their location [the womb] and their development status, and this being discriminatory, inhuman and cruel.
It’s been proven that foetuses feel pain during the abortion process.
Abortion is something that's reminiscent of a past time where the lives of children were taken in order to appease pagan gods.
Abortion desensitizes citizens to the beauty and fruitfulness of femininity.
Women who have abortions kill something that's actually inside them as opposed to something that's outside them.
As far as the Christian goes, abortion defies the very Word of God and its moral code for Christians.
And thus the only justification for abortion being when the life of the mother is at stake.

"At the moment of fertilization, a zygote is created. The zygote has DNA provided by both parents and, therefore, all of the genetic information to develop into more mature stages. The zygote period lasts about four days. He or she develops into a blastocyst for some 14 days, and then develops into an embryo. After nine weeks post-conception, he or she is termed a fetus. From zygote to delivered baby, he or she is a human being. There is no point during development when he or she matures into a human or somehow “turns human.” He or she is a unique human being from the point of fertilization."
Human Coalition website

The following is a verse from a Christian poem of mine called "Forbidden Sacrifices" which can be seen in an orange box titled "The Folly Of Winning," Christian section.

When women find themselves pregnant, a life’s a life, not a thing,
No matter how tiny — a seed from which life is seen to spring.
A person needing time and nourishment, everything there,
Hence why it’s a someone that’s killed, which isn’t right, isn’t fair.


This article was drawn from various sources.
Updated 21 November 2018.



11.  Sex Before Marriage?


"The ultimate intimacy belongs within the ultimate commitment."
Julia Duin


Sex before marriage displays a lack of control that doesn't bode well for a future marriage.
Sex before marriage usually gives to others what only one person is meant to get.
Sex before marriage can lead to unwanted children, that solo mother syndrome, all its hardships, and fatherless children.
Sex before marriage simply uses people for ones own selfish gratification. Love can wait to give, but lust can't wait to get.
Sex before marriage removes the motivation to work on the relationship, to truly win over the other person, and makes it easy for men to have their fill and go — men often losing interest in them after having had sex. So many men simply having sex with someone in order to fulfill certain short term psychological goals. And thus sex before marriage actually delaying marriage.
Sex before marriage shows that someone dosen't respect you enough to wait until the wedding night. And therefore, you'll be even less respected.
Sex before marriage lessens the solemnity of having children.
Sex before marriage makes marriage appear immaterial, and why marriages are taken less seriously.
Sex before marriage removes that very special memory making moment of a married couple's first night together.
Sex before marriage can be likened to forcing a door, prising a window open, or opening presents before the due date.
Sex before marriage removes protections that work in our best interests and that thereby spares us from heartache.
Sex before marriage means we've settled for less.
Sex before marriage is empty because it lacks commitment.
Sex before marriage can actually ruin a relationship.
Sex before marriage isn't honourable.
Sex before marriage leads to greater pain when the relationship is ended.
Sex before marriage is risky because condoms don't always work.
Sex before marriage ignores the fact that sexual intercourse immediately changes everything between two people.
Sex before marriage can damage your reputation and future.
Sex before marriage can create a pattern.
Sex before marriage with multiple sexual partners means that in the future you will have had sex with someone else's wife or husband.
Sex before marriage with multiple sexual partners can lead to one getting or giving some sexual disease.
Sex before marriage with multiple sexual partners affects our ability to properly bond come marriage. We won't feel as connected or committed.
Sex before marriage with multiple sexual partners can make those sexual encounters appear in ones mind when one is in the midst of marital intimacy; and comparisons will be drawn.
A survey of teenagers across the United States of America found that depression was far higher (three times more so) amongst those girls who were sexually active — in other words, who were indulging in premarital sex.
(National Longitudinal Study Of Adolescent Health, Wave II


"Never trade temporary pleasure for permanent regret."
Dave Willis


And further to  but dating wise and with some repetition:

Bear in mind,

That intimate settings encourage intimate actions.

That being alone together makes it easier for inappropriate and unwanted advances, and thus harder to counter any pressure.
That a young man’s hormonal state knows little of restraint and judgment, and hardly needs encouraging.
That youth has not yet developed its true tastes in others.
That in the scheme of things, sex is only but a part of the equation when it comes to marriage, so mind.
That once intimacy occurs, even petting, it’s harder to make detached, objective judgments. 
That you’ve every right to set boundaries and should.
That those who can’t wait don’t deserve, and are far more prone to marital unfaithfulness.
That users have a habit of loving and leaving.
That dressing sexy can work just as much against as for.
That frustration and desperation make for poor choices.
That those dating often hide their really bad points; thus one or two negatives can be a sampling.
That boys can read more into things than they should.
That feelings shouldn’t override sense.
That their lack of interest in, or little thought for your family, parents, is an ominous sign, a harbinger of marital unhappiness.
That he or she is a date and not your wife or husband, thus you’ve no conjugal rights even if they’re letting you indulge in such; and that an engagement doesn't alter this fact.
That allowing conjugal rights before marriage is a sure way to kill that motivation that’s essential in ensuring true intention and determining worthiness. After all, when a guy can get his hands on the goods beforehand, why would he necessarily want to hang around but move on to the next. Thus making him wait not only prevents being used, but tests him.
That it's best to get to know as much as possible about them before starting a relationship.

This article was upgraded 27 October 2018.



12.  That "In Love" State


Taken from the book Boundaries In Dating by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

Being "in love," in the beginning of a relationship, is an illness. It is treatable, but it is an illness nevertheless. The illness is the inability to see reality. For the very state of "being in love" is a state of idealization, where the other person is not really viewed through the eyes of reality. He or she is mostly seen through the eyes of someone's own wishes or fantasies that the other person is able to symbolize. But often the fantasies are based on enough reality that the stage of idealization can move to something real and lasting.
The problem is that if the idealizations are strong enough, and the person's need for them to be true are strong enough, then he or she can omit large chunks of reality about the person he is in love with. This is why staying connected to a group of friends who know you well is so important. Your friends and often family can see things about your new love that you will not be able to see. And you should trust them. Unless there is something wrong in your relationships with them, or they are pareticularly dysfunctional, they will not be looking through the eyes of idealization and need and will see the person more clearly. Have you ever wondered how some people that you know and love were able to pick the difficult, or sometimes awful person that they are with? Do you think that the prince just one day turned into a frog? Most times not. The frog was always a frog, even if he was dressed up like a prince in courtship. But the princess was looking through the eyes of idealization or denial. Borrow your friends' vision. You might need it.



13.  Marital Intimacy


(As it was meant to be)

Her husband creatively and tenderly kisses, caresses, explores and stirs her with a selfless intent that doesn't detract or distract,
so that she may experience the ultimate peak,
so that she may see that it’s an act of love and not lust,
so that he may leave her ever more convinced of the width, depth and breadth of the marital institution,
so that he may leave her ever more convinced of that lifelong oneness that was meant to be a blessing and not a burden.

Her husband gently lies on top of her, 
as if cloaking her exposed beauty,
as if shielding her protectively, and thus self sacrificially,
as if engulfing her with the very essence of his being-cum-love,
as if declaring his manly initiative.

And then, her husband duly and thoughtfully enters her,
that they may become as if interlocked in a special intimate oneness and bonding that no one else may share,
that he may claim her as the sole, undying object of his affection and care,
that they may become forever connected via the flesh and image of their offspring,
that he via his life-perpetuating seed may fulfil her natural maternal longing.

Different sexual positions are up to the couple, but in all that's done, and even where there's fun, dignity and thought should always prevail.

Sex is everything to a man, part and parcel of his very nature, makeup. Sex is part and parcel of his creativeness, how he expresses himself, his love for his wife — his sexual feelings fueling his affection, even motivating it.
A man’s penis kind of reflects who and what he is (males being the seeker, sower), and hence why his penis can be a big deal to him (just like women can be very conscious of their breasts). This also has something to do with a man taking the initiative sexually, and thus rejection on his wife’s part, or failure to please her, discourages him, affects his manliness, and even sets him up for an affair.
Therefore, if a wife says that sex isn’t a big deal to her, that she can take it or leave it, she not only insults her husband, but hits him where it really hurts — his manhood, makeup.
All this is why wives shouldn’t withhold sex at any time, and why they should always act (including dressing attractively) in ways that appeal to his sexual nature-cum-motor. In other words, in ways that work in sync with. Such making him feel more loving and caring towards her.
Failure to appreciate all this will lessen a man’s love and care for his wife.
The one thing that women must always bear in mind is that men are made and think very differently. Therefore, when wives don’t go by the manual, they’re all the less for it, because that manual is what brings out the best in men by which is intended greater benefit for wives.
To frustrate a man sexually, is to not only deplete him emotionally, lessen good health, subject him to temptation, but to also destroy his love and commitment.
The truth is, a man’s sexual makeup (visual radar) predisposes him to temptation at any time, be that an affair or the likes of pornography. Hence why a good wife will do all she can to mitigate such, thus protecting herself from ill too.
However, all the above does not excuse a lack of control on his part, nor sexual abuse of any kind. While sex means everything to a man, and is part and parcel of his very nature, makeup, it’s not where everything starts and ends, and therefore, must be seen in its context.

This article was upgraded 12 January 2019.



14.  It's My Body! So I Can Do What I Like With It


“To change for the worst after having said, “I Do,” is like having told a story that really wasn’t true.”

The Author


Why this particular article? Well, don't forget that what we do with, or do to, our body, can thoughtlessly affect others.

So, if you want to go that way,

I guess you'll allow yourself to become obese via bad choices or lack of discipline:

Shame if it hits the taxpayer who’ll have to foot the bill for those hospital visits sooner or later.
Shame if you die earlier thus causing your loved ones to grieve earlier.
Shame if you set an example that your children might follow to their detriment.
Shame if you don’t look as attractive anymore.
Shame if your husband or wife is disappointed with your lack of thought over how they feel about such.
Shame if the way you looked when your boyfriend or girlfriend married you was what they thought they were getting.
Shame if your husband or wife eventually loses interest and goes elsewhere as a result.
Shame if you have trouble getting clothes to fit and thus greater cost.
Shame if you become the butt of jokes.
Shame if you’ve made it harder for doctors to inspect possible concerns.
Shame if you can’t quite do certain things like you used too.
Shame if when you try to slim you end up with lots of loose, unsightly flesh in need of a scalpel.
Shame if you distort the image of your Creator.

I guess you'll go and get tattooed:

Shame, women, if some man who’d like to marry you finds such a real turn off.
Shame if your arms, for example, look like they’re black and blue, as if you’ve been badly bruised.
Shame if it also looks like graffiti.
Shame if your surgeon needs to cut through that tattoo leaving it even more unsightly.
Shame if it’s clear that someone else has had his hands busy where only your husband’s hands should be.
Shame if it makes you look like you’ve come from a rough neighbourhood.
Shame if those tattoos have a primitive and dark association.
Shame if when you get older and your skin stretches and wrinkles that those tattoos may distort.
Shame if detecting a skin issue is harder because of that tattoo being right there.
Shame if you have some reason to regret that tattoo later on.
Shame if that tattooing causes some bad reaction.
Shame if it’s a passing fad that loses its attraction in time.
Shame that someon'e making money out of disfiguring you.
Shame if that tattoo gives a hard edge to your womanhood.
Shame that it will cost a lot and pain a lot if you want it removed.
Shame if it attracts the attention of lesser men.
Shame if it's a visual distraction.
Shame if instead of pure skin your partner's lips are forced to caress some black and blue image, and as if in homage to it.
Shame that men are affected by the visual more than women.
Shame if you look like branded cattle.
Shame if it affects an employment opportunity (which you may not be told of, or which that personal manager won't own up to).
Shame if you become a Christian and realise that God has always abhorred such, warned against doing such, and that that particular object may be very offensive to Him, the territory of His adversary the devil.

I guess you'll get into drugs:

Shame if you become a burden to the taxpayer via rehabilitation.
Shame if you become a burden to loved ones via mental or physical impairment.
Shame if you inflict pain on society while under its insidious influence.
Shame if you encourage others to follow suit.
Shame if you effectively aid drug pushers in ruining other lives.
Shame if you mimic drunk drivers with the same consequences.
Shame if your drug habit sees you eventually turning to crime in order to support it.

I guess you'll possibly booze binge:

Shame if your health is badly affected.
Shame if you injure or kill someone while drink driving.
Shame if you waste the precious time of ambulance staff and medics.
Shame if someone has to clean up after you.
Shame if it affects your employer’s time and your abilities.
Shame if it affects any embryo.
Shame if it eventually affects your looks.
Shame if it causes problems in your home.
Shame if you become an alcoholic.
Shame if your kids follow your example again.
Shame if you end up with a beer pot tummy.

I guess you'll smoke cigarettes:

Shame if it leaves you with an unpleasant breath.
Shame if it makes your teeth look the worse for wear.
Shame if it injures your lungs for one.
Shame if that second hand smoke injures others too.
Shame if it affects your ability to run or climb.
Shame if it affects your insurance premium.
Shame if it wastes more money that would be better spent elsewhere.
Shame if it ages you quicker disappointing your partner again.
Shame if it shortens your life.

"If you really loved me, you would accept me as I am," is another blame game, pass the buck, cop out, one that also refuses to accept reality.

This article was upgraded 14 July 2019.




15.  Why The "Me Too" Movement Should Take Care


You’ve a right to protest, and so you should, but mind that you don’t get carried away with it all…

Lest you frighten good men off.

Lest all men be dammed, seen as perverts and molesters.

Lest you injure that natural boy and girl flirtation.

Lest men become afraid of being alone with any woman.

Lest men begin to see all women as potential accusers.

Lest more is read into things than should be.

Lest men become hardened due to feeling set upon unfairly.

Lest you aid false accusers, women with some grudge or anti-men sentiments.

Lest it be overlooked that there are women seducers and predators too.

Lest men become discouraged and lose the will to change.

Lest more men pull out of the teaching profession, afraid that they may be accused of this or that.

Lest women too, suffer more so.
Let me explain:
Teaching women to fight back could well prove counterproductive come some rape, say. That rape turning to murder should the rapist become fired up via a woman’s response that really hurts. 
Better women use their minds (though not the same mentality), weighing things very carefully, and remembering that big men hurt aren’t necessarily down, and thus someone’s worst nightmare about to begin.
Attackers often carry a knife or gun, and thus fists, knees and feet often powerless to do a thing. 
Now, I’m not saying that women shouldn’t defend themselves, but that they had surely better mind, and not get carried away, because any failed attempt could see them far worse off than they might have been.
All these martial arts classes and so on simply make women rough and tough, more like those fantasy Amazon women, and thus such men possibly responding with greater force as if those women were men themselves.
Given the rise in young women committing assaults, we may simply be helping such off track young women out.

The following things will help in discouraging unwanted attention and sexual misconduct:

Dressing more modestly (because sexiness automatically ups the potential as far as sexual assults go).

A manner that declares you’ve higher standards.

Making your boundaries known.

Minding that over friendliness on either side.

Saying “No” to any possible wedges in the door.

Avoiding asking for favours.

Avoiding being alone with men, where possible and practical.

Demanding and encouraging a higher standard from men (which you must live up to yourself lest hypocrisy weaken your stand).

Minding certain industries and situations.

Holding up men who show good character and respect for women, men who’ve a good track record.

This article was added to on 27 November 2019.



16.  What's Wrong With The Traditional Wedding Vows?


"...for better or worse"
during good times and tough times, in joy and in sorrow
"for richer or poorer"
despite financial misfortune, in plenty and in want
"in sickness and health"
despite any spoilers, midst good health and bad health
"to love and to cherish"
what marriage is all about
"till death do us part"
through all the years, midst the boring and exciting
"according to God's holy ordinance"
do appreciate the specialness, naturalness and solemness of this intimate union that no one else is to share, and that begets children who need the security of a permanent relationship
"and thereto I pledge thee my troth"
am totally committed, have every intention of standing by my promise to be faithful, loyal and honest

As for, “to love, honour and obey," which is no longer used:
Well,
Love goes without saying (hence why it has been retained);
Honour could be seen as simply referring to him not being ridiculed, belittled, because such is very destructive to ones manhood. Likewise any disloyalty;
And yes, obey definitely best gone, though even here, such could be seen as not giving him any grief, not thwarting his protective, manly attempts to do what’s best and right for his family as a whole.

I don’t know where kneeling to propose originated, but such is something that I personally have a problem with.
Such kneeling seems like a servant, ruler thing, as if one’s approaching a throne, a superiour being.
Such kneeling hardly seems in keeping with that natural and manly protector, provider role.
Such an act also seems to fly in the face of both of them being on an equal footing — equality, some call it. After all, whoever the woman is, she’s not some goddess, nor he a mere knave, servant.
Are men so unworthy (and women so above them) that men have to plead on their knees?
And isn’t kneeling something that’s more in keeping with asking forgiveness, more in keeping with approaching divinity?

The following is Henry Ford's reply when he was asked what was the secret of his marital success.
"The formula is the same as I used to make a successful car: Stick to one model."

And you know, there’s no better protection for women than:
1) Modest clothing.
2) Virtuous behaviour.
3) A level head.
4) A selfless, noble husband.
How so, you ask?
1) Though men are naturally attracted to the female form, modest clothing helps lessen the unwelcome advances of users, abusers and predators who almost always prefer the immodest because it appeals to their lust; and modest clothing lessens any concern over whether it's ones body that's attracting some suitor or ones personality.
2) Virtuous behaviour spares women from those unwanted pregnancies that go hand in hand with that solo-parent syndrome; and those sexual diseases that follow promiscuity around.
3) A level head is more likely to lead to the right choices, and thereby, the right man.
4) A selfless man is not a demanding man, and a noble man doesn’t mistreat women, but rather, protects their honour and well-being.



17.  Child Care Centres


Human factory farming, it's said.

And the greatest social experiment of our time, has also been said;
and the unwitting participants being millions of parents. 

Sometimes in life, due to personal circumstances and so on, we can’t always do the ideal thing — in other words, such may be somewhat beyond our control, and thus a Child Care Centre a necessary evil, so to speak. And given the errant way in which some children are brought up, and their home environment, such children may in fact be better off spending most of their time in such a Centre.

However, where possible, I personally believe that Child Care Centres should be avoided, and never used as a life-style choice.
Why?
Well, the first five years of a child’s life are critical to that child’s formation — that is, the building of his or her character, and here we’re talking about morals, standards, values, principles, etc. Thus, those first five years are very important when it comes to instilling the best in your child, unopposed by any negative Child Care Centre influences, or other.
It’s also very important that during the first five years a child have as much bonding with its mother as possible, indeed its father, even siblings, and that the mother enjoy the stages and growth of her child on a personal level, and not through the impersonal eyes of a Child Care Centre worker, who effectively robs a mother of so much, including any spontaneous experiences.
Research has shown that children left at Child Care Centres can feel a certain alienation from their parents, an inner “Something’s missing,” alias “Am I truly wanted?”
Placing your child in a Child Care Centre will expose your child to certain things that you may not wish your child to be exposed to, (or will expose your child to that which it shouldn’t be exposed to). Bad enough come school!  And among those things? The bad language and behaviour of other children-cum-the bad influences of children that haven’t been raised well; bullies; the influences of any Child Care Centre worker that are at odds with your own beliefs, philosophies, views, etc, (which includes any underlying Child Care Centre theology); certain activities and material; certain food; certain music; fatiguing and damaging noise levels.
Hence why I believe it’s best that during the first five years a child be at home with its non-working mother, and that it only be introduced to the likes of kindergartens when school age is near at hand.
Further to:
Studies have shown that placing children in a Child Care Centre can lead to a number of negative effects
aggressive behavior and poor social skills, for example.
Studies have found evidence that suggests that the longer a child spends in a Child Care Centre, the more stress it may experience.
Children who spend time in a Child Care Centre may experience a weaker parental attachment as a result. And those children who don't have a secure parental attachment are thus at greater risk of depression, anxiety and other mood disorders.
Children get sick more often in group care given
the constant bugs doing the rounds.
Your rules and the Child Centre rules may be different causing confusion.
Many child care workers are of dubious quality, and there being no one like one's mother, of course.
The truth is that it's impossible to predict how a Child Care Centre will affect an individual child, your child.
There's also the unpleasant atmosphere of certain Child Care Centres where the child care workers are disgruntled, or preoccupied with personal problems.
And there's that institutional type setting at such an early age.
No wonder parents can be left feeling guilty.
From a Christian perspective, it should be remembered that God gives the duty of raising a child to the parent, and not to some caregiver or Child Care Centre. And that duty is to be maintained as long as possible, and certainly for the first five years at least.
My daughter, who's a trained child care teacher with managerial experience, has made it very clear to us that she will not be placing any children that she may have in a Child Care Centre given what she has experienced herself, and all the above.

Recommended reading: Home By Choice by Brenda Hunter, Ph.D. This book details and exposes the emotional scars-cum-serious consequences that can occur due to placing babies, infants, toddlers-cum-preschoolers in childcare centres.

The article above was drawn from various sources.