To My Wife

 

Introduction


To my wife, with all my love.

“Women were created from the rib of man to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet
to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him.”

Matthew Henry


Don't confuse my poem numbers with my article numbers, and bear in mind that those poems
are also in-between articles that they may pertain to.





1.  To My Wife

I wish to express my gratitude for your acceptance of me as your lifelong partner, and
To let you know that I never take such for granted, for other men are always close at hand.
And therefore, dare I treat you any less than I should, though such folly would hardly be manly,
And why I seek your best interests above my own, that I as your partner may be worthy.

Yes, may I always see you as a precious individual, I always treating you so,
And thus minding how I handle you, both emotionally and physically, I no foe,
But rather, the protector of your honour and well-being, my motives unsullied nor selfish,
I treasuring every moment together, and where I can, fulfilling any noble wish.

And along with this, I also and oft showing my love via wee surprises, (each one thoughtful),
My attitude and responses equally as considerate, charitable, amicable.
For such are the hallmarks of a husband that every wife should have, he there to look after her,
And wisdom surely knowing that via him acting so, her love for him he’ll always freshly stir.

And may it be that such is me, lest you not receive what some other man could’ve given you,
And I meaning, if he’d been your husband rather than me, and his love more selfless, pure and true.
Hence why here I acknowledge what every manly husband should be and do, and once more thank you,
For from among the potential crowd you’ve chosen me — a decision I pray you’ll never rue.

By Lance Landall





2.  Put Your Head On My Shoulder


Please put your head on my shoulder just like you used to do, because you’re still my girl,
And I aware that the petals of our twilight years are beginning to unfurl.
So may our love bloom with a deeper hue before those petals fall in quiet repose,
They clustering together with tender kisses and soft nuzzlings that life's end knows.

Oh, those precious memories of how you’d take my hand and arm and then rest your head,
My shoulder rejoicing in the pleasure of a feminine act that so much said.
And why I’m still moved when you take my hand and arm and rest your head on my shoulder,
For where there’s such love, there are some things that never change even when one gets older.

So please put your head on my shoulder and nestle closer, because you’re still my girl,
And my love for you like a protective clam that’s been nurturing a precious pearl.
And you bringing out the man in me, your head on my shoulder declaring your trust,
And may it remain so until those parting words, “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.”

Yes, how I love those strolls, that hand that oft moves to my chest, the pressure of your breast,
That special closeness that warms my soul, steals my quickened heart and makes me feel so blessed.
And that still delights, excites and invites, declaring our love to the beholder,
A love that treasures each moment we have — so please, Dear, put your head on my shoulde
r.

By Lance Landall


This poem was partly inspired by the song "Put Your Head On My Shoulder" which I have always loved,
it originally sung by Paul Anka, but here by Michael Bublé:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PA2HtOva7_k






3.  I Just Had To Say...

You’re the colours in the rainbow, you’re the oxygen in the air,
You’re my honey bun, my baby doll, my sweetie pie, cuddly bear.
You’re the spring in my step, the wind in my sails, the song in my head,
You’re the melody in my heart, and you’re the pillow on my bed.

You’re the alphabet in my soup, the twinkles in the starry sky,
You’re the tickle in a summer breeze, you’re the apple of my eye.
You’re the orchid in my garden, you’re the cherries in my fruit cake,
You’re the stamp on the envelope, and when I miss you dear, I ache.

You’re the sugar in my candy, the boysenberries in my pie,
You’re the fragrance in a perfume, and when you snuggle up, I sigh.
You’re the dressing on my salad, the dawn chorus high in the trees,
You’re the beauty in beautiful, and you’re someone I love to squeeze.

You’re the sparkle in a diamond, you’re the magic in a sunset,
You’re the bubbles in my bathtub, the harmony in a quartet.
You’re the charge in my battery, you’re the fizz in my lemonade,
You’re one of a kind, the pick of the bunch, you’re specially handmade.

You’re the tune in my whistle, the lilt in my gait, the chime in a bell,
You’re the topping on my pizza, you’re the pearl in an oyster shell.
You’re the filling in my sandwich, you’re the marmalade on my toast,
You’re the warmth in the summer sun, and you’re my wife — did I just boast?

By Lance Landall




4.  Hi, Honey

Hi, Honey, I just wanted to say how much I treasure our intimacy,
Those times that we alone enjoy, I referring to marital nudity.
Yes, that special and extra closeness whereby we sexually become one,
Though there’s something else that I must say, despite those deep moments or playful fun.

It’s you that I’m in love with, and therefore, though enjoying that intimacy,
I’ve no fixation with shape or size, you being my focus, and not your body.
And thus I simply enjoying that loving closeness, but not living for it,
And therefore, when it comes to sex, employing any skill for your benefit.

And therein lies the greater joy that comes my way, I living for you, not sex,
For though some might say, “Well of course,” it’s oft too oft that sexual desires flex.
And thus someone’s poor wife feeling sex being more the interest rather than her,
His far too busy eyes and hands giving him away — oh, how many men err.

Though “lovemaking” is a beautiful thing in its place, it’s spoilt when it’s misused,
Hence why many women who’re on the receiving end — such being lust — feel abused.
And thus such not only an unwelcome pressure, but chisel that chips away,
For those far too busy eyes and hands, and constant hints, “It’s you I love,” don’t say.

So, though I love those bedroom encounters, Honey — akin to a precious gift —
I know that when it comes to our marriage, that they’re not meant to lower but lift.
And lift they will, if my eyes are on you, not scrutinizing your body,
For though such pleases me, my gaze is firmly fixed on you, not your nudity.

By Lance Landall




5.  That Special Time


I love that time when we’re snuggled up under woolly blankets and linen sheets,
When the moon has droopy eyelids and only ally cats roam the empty streets.
And there, pyjama clad or skin to skin, we tell the old world that we’re not in,
And bask in the warmth of our marital love, sweet hormonal adrenaline.

Yes, be the night sky full of stars or clouded over and depositing rain,
Or the draughty wind catching its breath or icily lashing the windowpane,
Such hardly registers when we’re embraced in sleep or loving intimacy,
And why I love that tender time that draws us closer and most exquisitely.

By Lance Landall





6.  Love’s Expressions


In the middle of the night when she lies still beside me, I thank the One above,
The intimate warmth of both her body and the cosy bed adding to our love.
And on awakening from some dream, I acknowledge her presence with tender care,
Lest any pressure from my searching hand disturb her sleep with it’s, “So glad you’re near.”

You see, love’s expressions do not wait ’till dawn, but share their sentiments there and then,
Though ones partner unaware of that little message I’ve related here in pen;
Unless, of course, one’s sleepy, clumsiness wasn’t nearly as feather-like as planned,
Though hopefully such forgiven by a reciprocating, “Love you too, dear,” hand.

By Lance Landall





7.  As You Sleep


When your face is resting near my heart, and my arms are conveying, “She is mine,”
I luxuriate in that sweet, intimate closeness that draws a loving line.
For such is not for sharing with another soul, it ours alone, and always,
A width, breadth and depth that’s total and complete, which unfaithfulness would erase.

Yes,

“She is mine,” I want the world to know, we as if one, your gentle breathing slow,
Your body pressed against mine, we both basking in the sensual afterglow.
Oh, how I love you, Dear, the years adding more cladding to our fortress of love,
And as you sleep, I feel humbled by that trust you show, and thank the God above.

By Lance Landall





8.  Pop-Up Girl


You’re my little pop-up girl, the toast of my life, a slice of Heaven on Earth,
My morning boost, stronger than coffee — oh crumbs, how grateful I am for your birth.
Your composition exquisite, your texture pleasing, your warmth energizing,
Hence why my initial infatuation with you was hardly surprising.

Yes, you’re my little pop-up girl, the gluten that holds my day together, and
I quick to pluck you from over exuberant elements, take you in hand.
And there you are, I savouring the moreishness of your presence each morning,
When from the inner warmth of that toasty environment you soon up and spring.

By Lance Landall


Sometimes my wife tells me that she's as warm as toast, so there you go.





9.  I Missed You Last Night


Yes, I missed you last night, and that’s the trouble with sleep, one snoozing fitfully,
And why I couldn’t wait to wake up and once again enjoy your company.
Sure you were right next to me, your body not only warming the bed but me,
And that’s great, but I lost in dreams and unable to enjoy reality.

In other words — you, dear! — my cuddly little bear, who doesn’t snooze half as loud,
But should you, and I awaken, there you’d be again, and I’d whisper out loud,
“I missed you!”, and as for what would be left of the night, I would lose that as well,
Given that I’d no doubt fall asleep again until that early morning bell.

Yes dear, you’re often in my dreams, though I had better not mention too much here,
For some things are best kept between couples, and someone might read this poem, I fear.
But dreams are just dreams, and sleep taking up far too much time, and why I oft cry,
“I missed you last night!,” and as we kiss and cuddle, wipe all that sleep from my eye.

By Lance Landall





10.  I Do My Best, Dear


When we’re snuggled up and lying in, and it’s six o'clock in the morning, say,
There’s a particular smoochie, and also hungry, cat that wants its own way.
I do my best to fend him off and prevent his wet nose from bothering you,
But he just doesn’t understand plain English, and licks at my flailing hand too.

His brother’s also a botheration, though certainly not as determined,
Ones body stomped on, ones protective hand needed elsewhere — oh, how I must have sinned!
But hey, I do my best, Dear, albeit a tired knight in shiny pyjamas,
Who wishes he could send those two cats on a holiday to the Bahamas.

By Lance Landall





11.  Man, How Did You Do That?


You’ve clearly perfected the art of getting in and out of bed by stealth, and
Spooking me, for one minute you’re there and one minute you’re not, going by hand.
And why I sometimes find myself talking to myself, you not there as I thought,
But busy in the toilet, not abducted by those of the alien sort.

It’s really quite disturbing, an ability that’s rather foreign to me,
Toilet visits more a stumble, and restless cats a trap for the unwary.
Yes, I not having perfected the same art — so, sorry to disturb you, Dear —
But please, could you bump the bed a little for my sake, thereby easing some fear.

By Lance Landall





12.  Fifty Shades Of Blue


Yes, fifty shades of blue, not grey, ’cause it’s porn whichever way one looks at it,
A book or movie, so folk can take their pick, but not me, not one little bit.
It all about lust, self, addiction and fantasy, that fallen-ness of man,
And why I wont read or watch it, Dear, it more something society should ban.

But certainly others are reading it, flocking to see it, tragically,
Because it’s degrading and destructive, injurious to humanity.
A perversion, Dear, which takes what’s beautiful and makes it ugly and dirty,
And thus ones bedroom more devilish than godly, goodbye love and purity.

But that’s how many want it now, and such writers with nothing better to do,
Filmmakers too, folk so easily influenced, dying to try it out too.
It much like a pop-up brothel in a home, an imposition, to be frank,
The act of a ravenous beast and not a man, and how many a marriage sank.

And so, Dear, I’m grateful for what’s natural and normal, not that Playboy ill,
Which once embraced, seldom sees one satisfied, and how ones mind becomes unwell.
Porn nothing but an insult, something that shouts that ones partner isn’t enough,
Hence that mental adultery, that paraphernalia that’s wed to rough.

No, Dear, I don’t need fifty shades of blue, but just you, nothing more, nothing less,
And thus I not having something hurtful, shameful or disturbing to confess.
So I’m not about to dishonour our marital bed, nor that ring that conveys:
This is the woman I’ve chosen — you, Dear — I not interested in those greys."

By Lance Landall





13.  Dessert


I love your cooking, Dear, and vegetables are fine, ’cause there’s a time and place,
But I’m rather fond of puddings, you know, and in my tummy there’s still a space.
Yes, I know you mean well, and those vegetables do get eaten, but oh dear,
That little spot in my tummy is hoping a scrumptious dessert will appear.

I’m well aware of that sugar content, but I’m used to sweet things, ’cause I’ve you,
Hence why I call you "Honey," and just in case, brush my teeth after kissing you.
Okay, so I’m only joking, but not about that dessert I’d like, nor you,
’Cause I couldn’t find anyone sweeter, and I’ve finished my nourishing stew.

By Lance Landall





14.  Dear Love Of My Life


There can be so much goodness in a man, but that goodness too oft marred, sadly,
And hence those fathers and husbands who err, though who doesn’t? — speaking sincerely.
But good men bemoaning their failings, kicking themselves, and they wondering why,
Struggling to understand that devil within — hurting too, should they see their wife cry.

And so, dear love of my life, how deeply I regret any sad word or act
That might’ve had you think less of me, hurt, harmed, or that sensitivity lacked.
I never wanting any less than the best for you, but flaws and faults have I,
And why when it comes to treating you just like I should, all I can do is try.

Oh, how I wish and dream of things that I could do, (you oft having gone without),
Things that would deliver surprise and delight — and thereby, more love for you shout.
Many men erring early, thus depriving their wives and kids of better things,
And later attempts difficult, even beyond one, which greater hardship brings.

Yes, so many women deserve better, but their man letting them down, sadly,
Hampered by his background, that testosterone that goes with masculinity.
But whatever it be, there’s hardly an excuse, and it plain cruel and folly
To mar the life of a darn good wife, emotionally or physically.

And so, dear love of my life, I wishing that I could do things all over again,
An older, wiser head having come rather late — and too late, for many men.
But better late than not at all, and one so regretful of less happy years,
Where only smiles should’ve graced the face of one’s wife, and never frowns or tears.

By Lance Landall


The following song (Husbands and Wives) sung by Neil Diamond, and originally by Roger Miller,
is one that has remained in my mind over the years, and which I thought I would share:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHC-a05xPXU





15.  I'm Truly Sorry, Dear


I drove the sedan in silence, my thoughts sombre, fretful and deep,
My hands tightly on the steering wheel, eyes fixed, glazed, in need of sleep.
In fact, we both were silent, and hurting very deeply inside,
But even more so my darling wife whose distress was justified.

Yes,

We can suffer nasty blows in this world, a world that’s full of pain,
Misfortune that can physically and emotionally drain.
And amidst those hard knock-down punches and our struggle to arise,
Even feelings for fellow sufferers we’re prone to anaesthetize.

“Would you like an ice-cream?” she asked me, meaning she desired one.
“No,” I replied, so absorbed in self, blind to what I had just done.
Continuing to drive I glanced at my wife, she silent once more,
And the tear that I noticed trickle broke my heart, and at it tore.

Such I have never forgotten — yes, it still haunts me to this day,
To think that I had acted in such a callous, unfeeling way.
It had seemed such a little thing, but to her it had meant so much,
Because I had just denied her what she’d needed, a tender touch.

Sure I was hurting too, locked in grief that kind of paralyzed,
But just how thoughtless I had been, I only later realized,
I cruelly adding to her pain, and hence that solitary tear,
That had slowly trickled and fallen, and shouted, “Oh, callous ear!”

You see, no ice-cream was bought that day, as I’d just continued on,
And thus that opportunity that I’d had to cheer her was gone.
A fleeting moment when love required that there and then I act;
Oh, how deeply I wish now that my “No” I could somehow retract.

It wasn’t just an ice-cream — oh no — it was so much more than that,
Something that she’d sorely needed at that moment where she was at.
And so, I had hurt the one I loved, my own pain making me blind;
Oh, thoughtless heart, how I curse thee, for you’re the blight of humankind.

By Lance Landall


This older poem (which was previously titled I'm So Sorry) was upgraded 20 January 2018.





16.  Unashamedly Proud


I don’t like to boast, but I reckon I’m pretty smart, ’cause look who I married, YOU!
Hence my collecting every trophy, though the biggest one of all being, YOU!
So I've given you pride of place, have put you at the forefront, yes, first and foremost,
And am sitting here observing, taking you all in, deliriously engrossed.

Oh yes, I’ve got to hand it to myself, ’cause I really excelled here, got the best,
Not that I mean to disparage other beauties out there, but hey, I’m so impressed.
Yes, I can’t see past you, don’t ever want to, ’cause in my eyes you’re unbeatable,
And I bewitched, bothered and bewildered, completely and utterly under your spell.

By Lance Landall

:-)





The following is simply a muse.

"I was just thinking, Honey, give me a kiss and I’ll do the dishes for you,
And then, if you give me another one, I’ll also do the knives and forks too.
And when I get to the pots and pans, a third kiss will soon see them squeaky clean,
And as for what’s left, well, another kiss, and they too will go in the machine."





Christian poem.


17.  Very Tenderly


My dear wife,

Christ, via His Word, has told me to love you just like He loves me, and not to harm,
And He meaning, in any shape or form —- His love for you, also on each palm.
For you belong to Him, not me, and thus I having been charged with minding you,
A soul He views as very precious, and why I must mind what I say and do.

So,

If I’m to love you just like He loves me, that means acting very tenderly,
And thereby, never assaulting you physically or emotionally.
But rather, displaying the utmost affection, loving you with all my heart,
And at the foot of the cross, where self is surrendered, I have been called to start.

Yes, my thoughts for you to be pure and noble, free of whatever soils or mars,
And thus on His return, Christ finding you well cared for, no man-inflicted scars.
You all the better for my care and keeping, not shackled, nor bruised or bleeding,
And I thus earning Christ’s approval, and every wish of His here, exceeding.

By Lance Landall





What's Wrong With The Traditional Wedding Vows?

"...for better or worse"
during good times and tough times, in joy and in sorrow
"for richer or poorer"
despite financial misfortune, in plenty and in want
"in sickness and health"
despite any spoilers, midst good health and bad health
"to love and to cherish"
what marriage is all about
"till death do us part"
through all the years, midst the boring and exciting
"according to God's holy ordinance"
do appreciate the specialness, naturalness and solemness of this intimate union that no one else is to share, and that begets children who need the security of a permanent relationship
"and thereto I pledge thee my troth"
am totally committed, have every intention of standing by my promise to be faithful, loyal and honest


As for, “to love, honour and obey," which is no longer used:

Well,
Love goes without saying (hence why it has been retained);
Honour could be seen as simply referring to him not being ridiculed, belittled, because such is very destructive to ones manhood. Likewise any disloyalty;
And yes, obey definitely best gone, though even here, such could be seen as not giving him any grief, not thwarting his protective, manly attempts to do what’s best and right for his family as a whole.

I don’t know where kneeling to propose originated, but such is something that I personally have a problem with.
Such kneeling seems like a servant, ruler thing, as if one’s approaching a throne, a superiour being.
Such kneeling hardly seems in keeping with that natural and manly protector, provider role.
Such an act also seems to fly in the face of both of them being on an equal footing — equality, some call it. After all, whoever the woman is, she’s not some goddess, nor he a mere knave, servant.
Are men so unworthy (and women so above them) that men have to plead on their knees?
And isn’t kneeling something that’s more in keeping with asking forgiveness, more in keeping with approaching divinity?




The following is Henry Ford's reply when he was asked what was the secret of his marital success:

"The formula is the same as I used to make a successful car: Stick to one model."




Lyrics from Camelot:

"How to handle a woman?
There's a way," said the wise old man.
"A way known by every woman
Since the whole rigmarole began”

Do I flatter her? I begged him answer.
Do I threaten or cajole or plead?
Do I brood or play the gay romancer?
Said he, smiling, "No indeed.”

“How to handle a woman?
Mark me well, I will tell you, sir
The way to handle a woman
Is to love her, simply love her,
Merely love her, love her, love her."








1.  Ten Commandments For Husbands


1)
Don’t put any other person before your wife, and don’t put yourself above her; nor in the role of protector, provider and lover err via domination, stinginess or roughness.
2)
Don’t create any images of her in the form of artistic or photographic representations that degrade and reduce her to an object of lust and that could end up in anyone else’s hands but hers; nor put things before your relationship.
3)
Don’t soil or destroy her very name or reputation, nor embarrass her, via public put downs, negative home truths, private details, or inappropriate intimacy.
4)
Remember and respect her period of menstrual rest; that time out and time alone that she needs for personal reflection — spiritual, mental, emotional and physical restoration.
Set aside quality time each week for just the two of you thus showing how much importance you attach to the relationship, just how committed you are to it.
5)
Respect and show due thought and care for her parents who you owe a debt of gratitude to, given that you wouldn’t have her if it hadn’t been for them, and they having every right to be concerned about her welfare.
6)
Under no circumstances act in a way that could lead to her death, either via premeditation, recklessness or thoughtlessness, nor injure her somehow via either physical or emotional abuse.
7)
Don’t betray her by leaving her for another woman, nor act unfaithfully via inappropriate affection or intimate relations with some other woman.
8)
Don’t remove from her life, nor deprive her of, any confidence, happiness, joy and peace that’s the right of everyone. And don't unduly deprive her of your time and presence.
9)
Don’t imply or say anything that’s not true, unverified or unfair regarding those who’re part of her life, be they her parents, brothers, sisters, or general relations. And never lie to her, full stop.
10)
Be content with your choice of partner, and the life you both have, lest you add to any discomfort life might have already imposed on her, or lest you discourage and disappoint her.

By Lance Landall

Upgraded: 1 December 2017

Would you mind telling me if you like my Ten Commandments For Husbands, and whether you think this article could be improved. By the way, these ten commandments were inspired by the ten that are presented in the Christian Bible, and not as they're presented in the Catholic Catechism.

You know, there’s no better protection for women than:
1) Modest clothing.
2) Virtuous behaviour.
3) A level head.
4) A selfless, noble husband.
How so, you ask?
1) Though men are naturally attracted to the female form, modest clothing helps lessen the unwelcome advances of users, abusers and predators who almost always prefer the immodest because it appeals to their lust; and modest clothing lessens any concern over whether it's ones body that's attracting some suitor or ones personality.
2) Virtuous behaviour spares women from those unwanted pregnancies that go hand in hand with that solo-parent syndrome; and those sexual diseases that follow promiscuity around.
3) A level head is more likely to lead to the right choices, and thereby, the right man.
4) A selfless man is not a demanding man, and a noble man doesn’t mistreat women, but rather, protects their honour and well-being.



18.  When Will Men Get It?


Men are turned on by the visual, but women are turned on by love, and so,
If you want good sex, husbands, love your wives — in other words, thought and kindness show.
Yes, it’s pretty much that simple — happy wife, happy sex — something men should know,
Women not turned on by nudity, but that sensitivity men should show.

So, forget that macho nonsense, that male stripper thing, such nothing but a game,
It childish and unintelligent, hardly the stuff to ignite a flame.
Women not aroused by such, despite some buying into that silly scene, and
Just adding to the folly of it, rather than taking a more mature stand.

And wives should also remember just how much the visual stirs men, and so,
They minding lest they foster that horniness from which disappointment can grow.
Men finding it hard to keep their hands off their wife whose sexy attire oft stirs,
And thus how women make things harder and worse, and why more so, their husband errs,

Because too much arousal occurs. However,

An activated male motor aids a man’s loving care (where his heart is pure),
Men having been designed that way, but love first and foremost always being the cure.
Yes, happy wife, happy sex, she feeling wanted for herself, not her body,
’Cause our body’s merely a thing, just a vessel for one’s personality.

In other words, that person we are, and thus we putting people before things,
Love before sex — and via doing so, it’s not long before that pretty bird sings;
Women basking in their husbands love, they only too happy to oblige, and
This how a woman is truly aroused herself, just like Mother Nature planned.

Yes, love turns women on, love that’s free of lusty eyes and erring groping hands,
Because lusty eyes and erring groping hands have more to do with one night stands.
Hence that, “Hello, I know what he’s after,” sad sigh, it all to common, frankly,
Hence why love’s candle oft merely flickers rather than burning passionately,

Husbands letting their wife down badly.

But Hollywood would have us believe anything but the truth, and why we see,
Half naked women acting just as horny and aggressive sexually,
And love having nothing to do with it, it more like an animal affair,
And the irony is, many women who’d agree with me, still sit and stare.

Yes, funny what many condemn in real life, but accept when it’s acted out,
They effectively condoning such a lie, when love is what it’s all about.
All why sex outside of a lasting relationship is a travesty too,
It nothing but selfish gratification, something that true love’s not into,

So when will women get it too?

In summary, men and women operate on two different levels, so,
It’s not about what men expose, but about that love and care that they should show.
Otherwise, they’re wasting their time, the visual not doing it for women,
But just for men, who, thinking the opposite, get it wrong time and time again.

Yes, “Get it off!” some women yell, and some are even viewing pornography too,
But in the general scheme of things, such is hardly what women are into.
There may be exceptions, some women more like men, and some men more like women,
But men are still men, and women are still women, who, aren’t aroused quite like men,

At the drop of a hat, or should I say robe, and they wanting it there and then.

By Lance Landall


This poem was added to on the 20 April 2018




19.  Begin When He's Very Young


If we want a man to treat a woman right, he should’ve been taught as a boy,
Lest via ignorance, falsehood or abuse, he lessen or steal his partner’s joy.
And so, each boy shown how, why, when and where, just what’s expected of a man,
Because manhood’s nothing to do with callousness, nor a mattress in a van.

So teach him to hold his tongue, restrain his brawn, and discipline his desires,
’Cause not one single women, emotional and physical abuse admires.
Yes, such behaviour not the hallmark of a man, but a brute, a selfish one,
Who can’t be trusted with the care of a woman, and nor her daughter or son.

So begin when he’s very young, mind what he reads and views, who he listens to,
And those mates that he teams up with, because woe betide any overlooked clue.
Yes, boys will be boys, hence why they need firm and guiding hands, a good role model,
Otherwise, there’s a good chance some woman will be the recipient of ill.

Yes, a screwed up man can mess a woman up too, and that means double trouble,
Or when it comes to peace and happiness, he bursting some good woman’s bubble;
And such disillusionment not doing men any favours in general,
The feminist movement clear evidence, because in time, things always tell.

Men and women are different; this being something men should respect, and so,
Just exactly how a woman should be treated, every man needs to know,
And needs to follow through on, love, care and tenderness going without saying,
’Cause everyone should be shown such — though here, a woman’s rights I’m conveying.

The truth is, that most men haven’t been educated, shown from the get go,
And so, with whom might blame lie, and is one truly guilty where one doesn’t know?
We quick to blame the man, but who didn’t teach him as a boy, show him the way,
And might some women be aiding and abetting, ’cause they’ve got their part to play,

They needing to be taught too, lest they be the cause of something going askew.

By Lance Landall




20.  Know Where It's At


Men

You can strut the stage jerking your howling guitar and almost mouth the mike too,
Have women screaming at your suggestive gyrations; and no doubt bed some too.
Yes, you can have the crowd falling at your feet and lost in your hypnotic beat,
And it won’t make you a man, for men aren’t made on a stage or under a sheet.

Yes, you can use your little head instead of your big head, tell bawdy jokes too,
And in-between use that foul four letter word, have others applauding you too.
Or you can even stand before a crowd as their president, mayor or MP,
And it won’t make you a man, for men aren’t made by their roles in society.

Yes, you can wear a suit, have a flash title, big pecs, biceps and tight abs too,
Have a black belt or brown belt, tote a gun, wield a knife and use your bare fists too.
Or you could build your wife a house, fill it with this and that and some big trip plan,
Bring home the bacon as regular as clockwork and it won’t make you a man.

But a loving heart will, principles and standards that won’t have you budge from right,
That path that spurns ego, self and folly, steers one towards truth, goodness and light.
And thus you not turning to ill, anything that’s dubious or unworthy.
But rather, you leading by example, sound both inwardly and outwardly.

Women

You can dress as if to kill, smoulder sexually, better other gals too,
Paint your pretty face, cover yourself in bling and no doubt take a man down too.
Yes, know how to wrap a man around your fingers, get what you want and quickly,
And it won’t make you a woman, for women aren’t made by such ability.

Yes, you can use your body instead of your brain, act like one of the boys too,
Guzzle beer, also swear, do the clubs, have your moment of fame and fortune too.
Or you might gain some high position, become a princess, some celebrity,
And it won’t make you a woman, for women aren’t made by status or money.

Yes, you can wear designer clothes, drive a Lamborghini and have the goods too,
Give as good as you get, wear a soldier’s uniform and compete with men too.
Or you could have your own business, help hubby with that house, keep it spick and span,
Even be a dutiful housewife, hostess, and it won’t make you a woman.

But a loving heart will, principles and standards that won’t have you budge from right,
That path that spurns ego, self and folly, steers one towards truth, goodness and light.
And thus you not turning to ill, anything that’s dubious or unworthy,
But rather, you leading by example, sound both inwardly and outwardly.


By Lance Landall




2.  Are Women Blameless?


This article is an attempt to provide some fairness and balance.

There are women that are saying that they have every right to dress how they wish — in other words, as sexually as they like in public, that it's their body to do what they like with, and that one can’t and shouldn’t link sexual assaults to such — in other words, that the blame for such assaults lies entirely with the male attacker. Or to put it another way, the women so dressed are completely blameless.
My personal response to such?
What one may be permitted to do, isn’t always what’s wise to do, and under some circumstances, not even right to do. Thus, where one doesn't use wisdom, are they free of any blame?
It appears to me that those women who make such a statement, effectively come under the following:
1) They have their head in the sand, are unaware of just how sick society has got.
2) They have a very narrow focus, a seeming inability to understand and grasp the broader issues surrounding such.
3) They simply don’t wish to face reality because it doesn't suit.
4) They simply don’t wish to accept any responsibility for some part that they may have played.
5) They simply do not understand what it’s like to be a man, which, while understandable, given that they’re not men, doesn't excuse insensitivity, thoughtlessness or folly. Though a man can’t truly understand what it’s like to be pregnant, for example, such wouldn’t excuse any insensitive thoughtless behaviour towards his pregnant wife. In other words, he should endeavour to understand what it must be like and seek to make his wife’s pregnancy issues as bearable as possible.
A man’s sex drive is very powerful, and most unlike a woman’s, (despite how strong any woman’s might be) — thus, when women titillate a man, it can be akin to playing with a ticking time bomb and not just a couple of matches. The sex drive in a man can also vary in intensity from one man to another, some men having a sex drive that’s seemingly impossible to live with.
Many women don’t seem to understand or fully appreciate that visual stimuli affects a man in the same way as tactile stimuli affects a woman.
When a man views a picture of a naked woman, his sexual arousal is instant, and commonly strong.
When a man views a pornographic picture, his sexual arousal could be likened to the intensity of a woman’s approaching climax.
A man is also designed in such a way that as soon as his key is turned, (via sexual stimulation), his motor is ready for action. In other words, a man isn’t meant to be aroused to go nowhere. Such sexiness in public can be somewhat like dangling a steak in front of a hungry lion and then pulling it away. And such is why there’s an undercurrent of frustration that’s running through the male realm, be it conscious or unconscious, given what men are constantly being teased with. Even quarter revealed breasts can be very stimulating to males, and a man’s radar is highly attuned to such. That’s the way he’s made. However, with all the sexual content that’s about to day, one could say that a man’s radar is on high alert, overload — picking up on more than was ever intended.
Okay, moving on:
Anyone who knowingly leaves a bulging wallet in their car (which they're at liberty to do) with the windows down on both sides (and then goes for a walk) would be considered a fool, and I’m very sure that most people would say, “Well, you’ve only got yourself to blame.” Sure no one should have taken it, and clearly they’ve committed a crime, but the fact that someone did take it, and thereby committed a crime, is somewhat irrelevant (it could be argued) given that if the wallet hadn’t been left in the car like that, no theft-cum-crime would have occurred. As I said earlier, what one may be permitted to do, isn’t always wise to do, and under some circumstances, not even right to do. Why unnecessarily put temptation in someone's way? Is that not a wrong in itself?
Bearing all this in mind, let’s face some hard facts:
1) The world contains many predatory men. It's interesting how during war many soldiers will rape where they feel they can get away with it. And they certainly don't do it just because their victim is the enemy. Hence why a soldier is only as good as his conscience, his moral stand.
2) The world contains many oversexed men.
3) The world contains many men who have deviant desires.
4) The world contains many men who are tanked up on pornography, enter addiction, obsession and compulsion.
5) The world contains many men who have some kind of sexual dysfunction — hang up.
6) The world contains many men who're angry with women for whatever reason, some even having a hatred for women.
7) The world contains men who're very jealous of those gorgeous and sexy clothed (or is it unclothed?) women that other men have and are happy to strut in the face of other men.
8) The world also contains many sexually frustrated men, and there can be a number of reasons for their frustration. Many men can't get a woman, be that due to poor looks, ineptness, bad traits, etc, which when coupled with porn, doubles their frustration. Many men can become very frustrated by the constant sexual stimulation that daily comes their way, and thus are sorely tempted by such, even when married; perhaps their needs not being met due to marital problems, the wife's ill-health or even death.
The consequences of all this?
1) Frustration and temptation can see even a good man fall from grace and do what he normally wouldn’t do — in other words, go too far with his advances, or sexually assault a woman outright.
The truth is (whether it's accepted or not) is that there is an undercurrent of unfulfilled sexual frustration running through the male kingdom given what men are constantly being confronted with without immediate relief, or relief at all.
2) The interest of predatory, oversexed, sexually obsessed, compulsion driven, pornography fuelled men, or those with some sexual dysfunction, is strongly kindled by public sexiness. After all, it’s the real walking talking deal, not just a picture, and the reality is that such men graduate from this to that. Much like with drugs. The sexual serial killer, Ted Bundy, (1946-1989), conveyed that as a youngster his future path was first fuelled by the likes of Playboy magazines, which back then, were nothing like what’s seen today. And now, the sexual is everywhere, and more blatantly so.
Those who say that porn isn't connected to crime are away with the fairies.
And bear in mind that many of these men are men that one would never suspect.
Given all the above, a sexually dressed woman walking about in public, and especially given today’s climate, is acting somewhat akin to someone walking through a pride of lions — some having eaten, some having not eaten, and some plain greedy, undisciplined, annoyed or nasty.
Now tell me, who would willingly choose to walk through a pride of lions, and if they did, I wonder who they would blame if they were attacked — the lions or them self?
Such is the reality whether one chooses to accept such or not.
Go surfing and there's the chance of a shark attack, and you having known that.
Sure a man should never sexually assault a woman even if she is dressed in a way that teases, but the fact is that many men WILL having been excited by such behaviour, and given any underlying issues mentioned here. Thus, a woman AUTOMATICALLY ups the chances of being sexually assaulted when she dresses sexually. And if things keep going the way they are, and given how many women seem to be pushing the envelope, men will only get worse.
Yes, when women, (via such sexiness), make themselves an object of lust rather than an object of beauty, such assaults are clearly going to be an obvious outcome in a world that's far from perfect, morally bankrupt, and sick to boot.
Therefore, better out of sight and out of mind, or at least, thereby less in the mind.
So what has sexiness really done for women?
It has placed them in greater danger of an assault, it has made them an object of lust rather than an object of beauty, it has effectively degraded or downgraded them as a consequence, and thus has lessened many a man's respect for them, and therefore, now has men seeing them as more an object than the person that they are. In other words, the focus has gone from the person to the body, and from the protective caring of a man's heart to the threatening self centeredness of a man's mind.
The sexual aside, and given that it’s hardly the same world anymore, women should always mind that they not pointlessly put themselves at risk. It never ceases to amaze me how women will still go walking in the bush, down dark streets at night, and through the likes of bushy, tree laden parks and river trails on their own. It’s as if they’re not getting the message despite the daily reports of attacks and rapes occurring in these very same places. Sure it’s their right to walk when and where they like, but sense is ones greatest ally.
When I'm out on my bike and riding along near the river, I often see women on their own. I've warned my daughters not to. A while back a man came out of his backyard, which backs on to the river bank, and attacked, sexually assaulted  and killed a woman who was out jogging. I wasn't surprised and said that it no doubt wouldn't be the last time. And sure enough, another woman was badly attacked and sexually assaulted. Fortunately she didn't lose her life but will live with the scars for the remainder of her life. Yes, it was their right to walk when and where they liked, but both woman paid very dearly.

Upgraded 25 February 2018



21.  How Can Men Take Women Seriously?


“We’re so tired of being sexualised, seen as objects,” they’re saying today,
When they’re also sexualizing themselves, indulging in hypocrisy.
They dressing to kill, oozing sex, furiously spinning a man’s radar, and
Participating in the raunchy and pornie, those movies that should be banned.

No wonder they’re being sexualized, seen as objects, so why all the tears?
Their cruel teasing of men causing frustration that’s simply been building for years.
And frustration usually ends in something, because when men see the sexy
They hardly see the person, just the body, and can’t help note hypocrisy.

If they don’t want men groping them, say, wrongly assaulting them sexually,
They shouldn’t pressurise any bladder that could explode upon society.
All why “It’s my right to dress as I wish to” falls on deaf ears, ’cause all men see
Is women flaunting what turns a key, revs a motor, even redlining it,

Worryingly.

So how can men take women seriously, men geared to notice that body,
And notice they will where it’s half naked and flaunted, stirring excitedly.
And it’s all the man’s fault, apparently, and a puppy’s too where there’s a fresh steak,
One waved in front of its nose, dear me, men and puppies acting naturally,

Hence that path some take.

Yes, that puppy barking, that man aroused too, his camera having gone "Click!”
And there in his mind that image replaying, the OFF switch very hard to flick.
Some woman having sexualised herself, made it easy for men to think
She might have sex in mind too, and miscalculating men destined for the Clink.

Of course we know men shouldn’t err regardless, but once stirred, many are prone to,
They kind of fooled by such confusing signals, as if possibly she’d want to.
And thus a little persuasion needed, perhaps, when that’s not how it is here,
But simply women publicly parading what privately they wish to share

With only their boyfriend or their husband, that is, which isn’t exactly clear.

And so, if they don’t like strangers ogling them, nor want to be objectified,
They shouldn’t dress so, nor behave so, because those two worlds are sure to collide.
Such sexiness blinding men like those headlights blind possums, but aren’t women blind too,
Who, the very things that work just as much against them as for them, still pursue?


By Lance Landall




22.  Dear Young Women Of Today


Dear young women of today, please don’t be fooled by what you’re being fed, those lies,
Each one designed to mould you their way, and fleece you of money, hence their disguise.
You meaning nothing to them, except where they profit from you, too often too,
Hence why I wouldn’t have a bar of it, it all something wide eyes can see through.

So just be yourself, a natural woman who doesn’t follow the crowd, nor
Bows to peer pressure, current foolish trends, that sexiness that’s become a bore,
It in ones face, shallow, empty and even crass, and why you need to realise
That much you see in theatres and on TV is all part of those same lies.

Women have more to offer than just their bodies (designed for marriage alone),
Hence why they shouldn’t give in to selfish demands despite any lustful groan.
And why they should pursue their own path, not copy boorish lads and their ways,
Nor degrade their femininity by things that men may do, the current craze.

Your best interests are better served by helping men to see differently,
To be what and how they should be, and you do that via retaining dignity.
And where they don’t lead, you should, standing alone and apart, confident and true,
Telling both errant men and the deluded, lying world just what they can do.

The answer’s not found in boys, shops or the stage, but in that path you take, and so,
It all coming down to the heart and mind, and which in your words and acts will show.
You setting a foundation that will make happiness more likely to follow,
Rather than hurt and disappointment, that “I told you so,” bitter to swallow.

So please don’t be fooled by what you’re being fed, those lies that beguile and blind,
Hence that repeating of mistakes of the past, of which parents often remind.
The young always singled out by charlatans and profiteers who stalk their prey,
And hence why I have penned these words of warning to you young women of today.

Yes, mind slick operators and their carrots (be they some business man or boy),
Who, not only ogle what they’ve fashioned so, or encouraged, but rob of joy.
Young women dancing to strings that suit agendas of every kind, sad to say,
They steered and manipulated via today's music, movies, mags and fashion,

And hence why they stray,

Because at the end of the day, there's not the same wholesomeness in things today,
And mostly quite the opposite, society in a sad state of decay.
And so, not just your mind but that body of yours being sacked by predators,
Those whose aims are selfish, misguided, and/or corrupt — and yet, where are the roars?


By Lance Landall




23.  How My Heart Weeps


Oh, how my heart weeps, for soon, where will we find the unsoiled woman, but gone,
Both her younger mind and innocent body having been cruelly set upon.
She having been ogled for sexual potential, as if just a body,
And her mind having been manipulated to yield — and who’s saying sorry?

Freedom, some call it, but freedom for who, those guys who’ve always wanted their way,
Those guys who’ve always tried it on, those guys that girls should’ve seen coming their way.
Hence why my heart weeps, girls defrauding themselves by saying, “Yes,” ’cause soon is seen,
Those guys moving on to their next conquest, and oft some kid showing where they’ve been.

I’m just moralizing, you say,

No, I’m simply tired of seeing young girls pawed, okay, kneeling to base desires,
And thereby they stoking those consuming coals on their own destructive fires.
Guys just using them, but when it comes to marriage, “No, not those ones, not at all,”
They wanting what they call a decent girl — yes, I know, it nothing but a gall.

Young girls lied to: “Saving yourself for the right guy, marriage, is old fashioned!” — well,
It’s surely better than being used, just another horse on some carousel.
One that young women (and even older ones) need to get off, they worse for wear,
And when it comes to that horse ride, it’s usually them who’s paying the fare.

The failure of women to understand how men are stirred by a whiff of sex
Is a constant source of trouble for them, hence their need of a new pair of specs.
Yes, God’s advice looking more protective than restrictive, and as for Him, well,
He no fuddy-duddy, misusing things always resulting in certain ill.

Letting folk use us just leads to lowered self-esteem, depression and anger,
And sexiness simply fuelling lust, like petrol on a fire, yet still girls err.
And used they’ll continue to be whilst they still indulge in promiscuity,
Hence why my heart weeps, for soon, where will we find the unsoiled woman, but gone,

Set upon, with her authority.

Oh yes, how my heart weeps, so many nice young girls plundered, their good father sad,
He knowing full well that in this sex obsessed world that there’s both good men and bad.
And those good fathers teaching their sons better, but where will better girls be found?
All why young women shouldn’t become horses on that grubby merry-go-round.


By Lance Landall


You may wish to read my poem: Okay, So You've Messed Up Already, which can be
found in the orange box titled The Sparrow.




24.  Girl Power


Whatever “girl power” may be, I know what it should be, what it needs to be,
And that is, the strength to say “No” to those demands that are selfish and lusty.
No girl letting some boy do what she doesn’t want him to do, and saying so,
Despite any pressure from him or others, that he and they may clearly know.

“Girls can do anything,” I hear said, but if they can’t say, “No, take a hike,” then
They not only hole their “girl power” ship, but declare that sad weakness to men.
And that’s where the term “sissy” really belongs, not with saying, “No, take a hike,”
’Cause saying “Yes” makes that whole “girl power” thing look like a rather wobbly bike.

If we don’t take the tough path when we’re young, chances are we won’t when we’re older,
And hence why I can’t stress enough the importance of young folk acting bolder.
And here, those girls being pressured, because once they say, “Yes,” the weaker they’ll be,
And thus “girl power” meaning nothing, they slaves to their own inadequacy.

Life’s all about standing up and standing tall, not because ones a girl or boy,
But because right is right and wrong is wrong, and as far as girls go, they not some toy.
Hence why they shouldn’t play that game either, because that’s how they’ll share in the blame,
Sex not where it’s at, but love and commitment, our choices how we lose or gain,

Invite joy or shame.

Coping flack and losing friends because of a noble stand is par for the course,
How we grow and become our own person, not someone else’s obedient horse.
And so, if girls don’t want to be used, sex before marriage should be refused, and
“Girl power” then a reality — and soon despatched, that selfish one night stand.

By Lance Landall




25.  Oh, Mandy, Mandy


Mandy wanted a husband, but gave herself to the boys,
They not into commitment, but simply playing with toys.
And she providing the pleasure, so play with her they did,
Until they found another playmate, and her, farewell bid.

Oh, Mandy, Mandy, why haven’t you and other girls learnt
That emulating a sex toy is how one just gets burnt.
Such users and abusers only eyeing the pantry,
And those obliging girls like you, always very handy.

By Lance Landall




3.  When A Woman Dresses Sexy:


1)
Sex becomes the focus and thus how a woman misdirects the interest of a man. Attractive highlights the person, sexy highlights the body. Attractive knows restraint, sexy pushes the envelope.
2)
She reaches for the “tools of the trade” rather than relying on her own merits; lessens the gap between the fitting and unfitting.
3)
In the eyes of men, she soon becomes identified as an object, a plaything, a vehicle for the fulfilment of lust and thus something simply to be used, and thus less valued and respected.
4)
She moves what was meant for the marital bedroom to the street where she may become some man’s fodder [fantasy] for masturbation or an unfulfilling marital relationship.
5)
She may draw an unacceptable-cum-unhealthy interest from her teenage sons whose hormones are racing.
6)
She opens herself up to men who’re only interested in seducing her, using her, and should she suffer a moment of weakness, (especially if he’s attractive), or a rough patch in her marriage, she may well succumb to such attention.
7)
She, via such sexiness, can’t truly be sure why a man, (suitor?), is drawn to her. In other words, is he drawn to her because of her character, personality or more her body?
8)
She heightens the interest of predators whose sexual compulsions are naturally attracted to greater sexiness.
9)
She places temptation in the way of married men and indirectly may well aid discontent in their marriages thus doing other woman no favours.
10)
Rather than gaining greater respect from the male kingdom, she decreases such by virtue of the fact that she has lowered herself to a more common denominator — in other words, has become an object, a vehicle for sexual gratification only, and she now a teaser who’ll hardly say “Yes” to every “Please may I?” eye.
11)
She, via such sexiness, appeals to the lower nature rather than the higher nature.
12)
She even runs the risk of her husband becoming overindulgent, sexually distracted and thus less attentive to her as an individual.


"It's funny, you know, but a woman in a bikini is effectively a woman in her bra and panties, just different material."
A woman's comment.


Yes, it is funny, isn't it, because if a woman was to walk down the street to the shops in her bra and panties, she would quickly be arrested. But change the material and there wouldn't be any problem.

Bearing sexiness in mind, a slight digression: I was reading a book where it stated that pushup bras make a woman's breasts look like butt. Yes, there's something very unnatural (even fake) about such a look.

"Feminism in its attempt to do away with the sexual double standard between men and women, has made sexiness a desirable trait. In the past, if a woman was called sexy she would have taken it as an insult. Many today accept it as a compliment. The result: women are dressing, acting and talking sexier. This has no doubt helped to open the door for the flood of increasingly explicit and violent pornography that has been sweeping the world, and has also made women more vulnerable."
One truth is, that the more women are objectified via the likes of advertisments say, the more dissatishfied men will become that none really match up to the fantasy they see.
Note the following two excerpts from the article: Gay Marriage, Distant Consequences, by Brian Fitzpatrick:


In Sex and Culture, a study of 86 human civilizations ranging from Rome to Tahiti, J.D. Unwin found that a society’s destiny is tied inseparably to the limits it imposes on sexual expression.

In The American Sex Revolution, Sorokin wrote that “both men and society are degraded” as a culture becomes “sexually obsessed.” “The members of such a society are habituated to look at the opposite sex as a mere instrument for pleasure…to these individuals, talk of human dignity, religious and moral commandments, and rules of decency is just bosh…the society degrades the values of womanhood and manhood, of motherhood and fatherhood, of childhood and venerable age, of marriage and family, and even of love itself.” Divorce, desertion, and deviance become commonplace, when “what used to be considered morally reprehensible is now recommended as a positive value; what was once called demoralization is now styled moral progress and a new freedom.” 


Note the following too, by Ruth Webb:


"Just as the ancient empires of Greece and Rome collapsed when every indulgence of the flesh took over, we in our society today need to heed the warning."


The sexual revolution has discouraged commitment and romance. Males can now get sex without marriage far more easily than they could in times past. They're also feeling able to enjoy the benefits of having a wife by cohabitation rather than by marriage. And the findings are that cohabitating men tend to be less committed to the relationship.

And here's something else to ponder on:

Firstly, when women display their breasts to any degree, they immediately attract the sexual interest of men, because men are stirred by such, (to surely state the obvious). After all, this is why Playboy magazine first introduced pictures of women baring their breasts, and that being sufficient enough to excite the male viewer.
And so, with this in mind, it might be worth your while dwelling on the following account by a male who was watching the news on TV one evening, where a women, who was attending an Oscar ceremony, was revealing her bountiful breasts to a considerable degree; such seemingly being a case of who can go the furthest these days.

“It was so revealing that I couldn’t help feeling that she might as well bare it all having gone so far — a wide, (almost nipple to nipple), and navel low, rectangle piece of fabric missing, the dress obviously designed that way.
I felt like there was a certain intimacy happening between her and I, because she was revealing so much of her erogenous territory to me, and what surely her husband alone should see, or if single, what only her bedroom mirror should see.
I felt like I was somehow partaking of her sexually, she obviously wanting me to see and enjoy her breasts, and as much of them as possible. Otherwise, why would she be displaying them so? 
I was only allowed to look, not touch, but her sharing such with me, via the TV at that time, drew me into some kind of implied or suggested sexual happening, even permission of some sort, albeit from a distance. At the end of the day, she would surely be aware that her ample revealing was making some kind of statement, and what other statement would it be but a sexual one of some sort, breasts hardly like arms and legs, but also performing a sexual function.
To be honest, I wasn't really paying all that much attention to her, but that frustrating statement she was making.
I hardly knew her, and yet, I was privy, as it were, (right there in my lounge), to a good portion of revealed titillation that can raise a man’s heart rate."

The following, in its context, could be said:  "Femininity is power, sexiness failure."

It's also worth remembering the old saying: "If it's not for sale, take the sign down!"

This article was upgraded 2 July 2018



4.  The Dangers Of Porn:


"There is no protection against the kinds of influences that are loose in a society that tolerates pornography."
Ted Bundy


1) Those grubby images will be forever stored — and once in the head, a plague, resident and usurper in the marital bed.
2) Porn objectifies woman, uses them, and even turns them into prey — men regarding them with less value and respect.
3) It hardens a man’s heart, lessens his tenderness when it comes to sex, and in general.
4) It messes with a man’s head, creates warped views.
5) It drains.
6) It exploits a man’s weaknesses.
7) It causes selfishness.
8) It degrades both those involved and those viewing.
9) What begins with a high, simply ends in negative feelings, as with drugs.
10) Porn results in a pattern of hopeless addiction and escalation, the need for greater stimulus growing. Soft-core becomes hard-core, fantasy becomes a reality must, and hence the escalation in sexual crimes — and how many more Ted Bundys? Such particularly arousing dangerous emotions in the immature, young, disturbed and criminal classes.
11) It creates unfair and unrealistic expectations.
12) It creates sexual problems such as erectile dysfunction.
13) It destroys men, marriages and homes — porn damages trust.
14) It damages one's ability to have a healthy relationship with women in general and a potential partner.
15) It’s sex without intimacy, sex without emotional closeness, and therefore, ultimately creates an emotional distance in relationships. 
16) It leads to men not being able to get aroused by their wife because the brain can’t associate arousal and release with a person anymore. Hence the need to recall those images, the brain having become rewired, its chemistry altered. The visual stimulation of pornography coupled with the secrecy that usually goes with it, is a very powerful  combination, a certain and abnormal high that one can't really achieve when having sex with an actual person. Hence how it makes normal, healthy sexual intimacy seem boring, and even without the secrecy.
17) Porn addicts have to go through the same difficult recovery process that drug addicts go through.
18) It masks needs that should be met through human connections.
19) It can jeopardize one's work, has men constantly replaying those same images throughout the day.
20) It’s mental adultery, unfaithfulness.
21) It dirties manhood.
22) It competes with one’s wife who hasn't a hope of beating the competition.
23) It takes something good and badly sullies it.
24) It effectively turns men into perverts, licentious creeps and peeping toms.
25) It leads to unhealthy masterbation.
26) The porn industry is riddled with disease and corruption — porn is linked to prostitution and sex trafficking.
27) Porn affects one's ability to think and function normally, it causing a shrinkage of those brain regions used for motivation and decision making.
28) It creates a surge of chemicals as destructive to one's health as prolonged adrenalin is.
29) It has men sizing up the body of every passing woman as if she's a piece of meat.
30) It lessens a man's sensitivity to sexual violence against women.
31) It can have men thinking very cruel and violent thoughts regarding what they would actually like to do with women if they could get the chance, such not far removed from those deadful things that were done to women in the Nazi concentration camps. And that's the truth of it, because men who're bad in the first place, become even more so after a diet of porn; and good men can become terribly corrupted.
32) Porn affects society, not just individuals.
33) Porn's fantasy figures make things harder for those women who're not so well endowed and who struggle with low self-esteem already.
34) Porn also goes against the biblical “one flesh” principle and violates God's seventh and tenth Commandment.


"Pornography is the theory, and rape is the practice."
Robin Morgan


So how does porn work?

1)
It creates an intense feeling of physical excitement accompanied by guilty feelings given its most unworthy, scandalous nature and shock value; that fusion of feelings and thoughts even akin to feverishness. Hence why it can be draining. When men get inflamed so, it acts like a toxin in their body, thus leading to ill health.
2)
Those pornographic images, scenes, are replayed over and over again, are regularly in ones thoughts, day after day, week after week, year after year, and are even added to via ones imagination.
3)
In time, more daring and disgusting images are needed to get the same rush, the same affect.
4)
a) Those images are taken into the marital bed, and there, ones wife is encouraged to join in acting out those same scenes or that same behaviour, as far as ones wife is willing to oblige, that is.
b) Where ones wife is unwilling to oblige, or where one knows ones wife would be thoroughly disgusted by such, those images, scenes, are replayed in the mind whilst having sex, one even imagining ones wife in the thick of it.
5)
Where a man has no wife, and feels that he has no access to women, obsessive masturbation is the order of the day, which not only can result in possible damage to his organ, but ill health too.
6)
The incendiaryness of porn, especially when it comes to certain people, types, can lead to sexual assaults given how inflamed the mind and body can become — fantasy having to meet its ultimate in reality, porn having created a need that requires urgent and repeated fulfilment and release. And those fantasies, by the way, can be very sick.
For example: A woman, or women, being chained, shackled, or held in certain positions while a man, or men, have their perverted, shocking and violent way — that woman, or those women, forced to accept whatever is done to them, and forced to accept whatever those men want done to them, such being porn's ultimate fantasy, of course, a sex slave. And then comes snuff movies where women are raped and killed.
And hence those accounts on the six o'clock News, (no doubt the tip of an iceberg), about a woman, or women, having being held in dungeons, as it were, some man's basement — and this, I would imagine, where some or many of those missing women have ended up.
7)
After the rush of viewing porn is over, one can be left feeling contaminated, low, drained and guilty.


"I've met a lot of men who were motivated to commit violence just like me. And without exception, without question, every one of them was deeply involved in pornography, deeply consumed by the addiction."
Ted Bundy

"As we have been talking, there are forces at loose in this country, especially this kind of violent pornography, where, on one hand, well-meaning people will condemn the behavior of a Ted Bundy while they’re walking past a magazine rack full of the very kinds of things that send young kids down the road to being Ted Bundys. That’s the irony."
Ted Bundy
Both quotes being from when he was interviewed by James Dobson just before his execution.


In the context of the marital bedroom, sex is a wonderful, enjoyable, magical thing, a special and deep intimacy that two people of the opposite sex only share between them. It’s something that cements their relationship, binding them together with a special cord that’s not meant to be untied, nor marred or slowly shredded by the inappropriate.
But outside the context of the marital bed, and that committed, permanent relationship, (procreation pointing to its seriousness), such sex simply falls into the category of nothing more than irresponsibility, lust, a means to a selfish end; it a drug-like fix, a hollow and even animal act that takes or leaves.
When sex becomes an anytime with anyone you fancy thing, it loses its specialness, its important place and role, even becomes degraded, and nothing more than a momentary physical buzz that thwarts its main intention, and that being, to strengthen a deep, close and enduring relationship that provides security for both the couple and any children that they have.

Check out these porn statistics:

http://www.covenanteyes.com/pornstats/

Oh, a note about oral sex, and bearing in mind that a penis is also a urinary track; we aren't living in a world that's pure and sterile, free from bacteria or other living microorganisms:

When oral sex is indulged in
(and more so where there's promiscurity) there’s a risk of:
a) Infections.
b) If the other person is infected with the sexual diseases (STD) Gonorrhoea, Syphilis and Chlamydia, there’s the risk of them transmitting them to the throat; along with HSV which can cause pharyngitis, an inflammation of the throat with ulcer formation.
This information was drawn from www.netdoctor.co.uk which also stated:
“Today’s high rates of oral sex are linked to the rising incidence of throat and mouth cancer.”
That same website also contained this:
According to the American Association for Cancer Research, more than 50 per cent of all oral cancers are now HPV related – though many others are caused by tobacco or alcohol.
This problem is also confirmed in the book "What's Happening To Our Girls?" by Maggie Hamilton.

Drawn from various sources.
Upgraded 18 September 2018



26.  I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Woman"


Yes,

Famous words from a past American president, words that were far from true,

And that still aren’t true, ’cause oral sex is sex alright, though not in some girls’ view.
They wanting to remain a virgin whilst meantime yielding to demands, and so
It’s only in their mouth that some boy’s penis is foolishly allowed to go.

They as askew in their thinking as that president looking for some loophole,
One belonging to a world of fantasy and fiction, some burrowing mole.
’Cause whether it be the vagina or mouth, it’s still entering the body,
Erect and with intent, permission having been given, and perilously.

Yes,

Not only linked to cancer of the mouth and throat, but as sex as sex can be,

And more so, it not just entering, but mouthed too, albeit disgustingly.
No, not too many showers beforehand, not that that necessarily stops
What some poor girl or should-have-known-better woman eventually cops.

And when all is said and done, they hardly virginal, because one thing is clear,
Such girls are indeed having a sexual relationship right then and there.
And thus there goes that special intimacy meant for marriage alone, one boy,
Which, come the right boy, will have robbed those two of a deeper happiness and joy,

A penis a penis, an orifice and orifice 
oh, how we destroy.

Surely you get my point, other boys having entered via a different means,
And torn the hymen of her soul, though she could’ve said, “No,” shunned those unzipped jeans.
And now, her future spouse at the end of the cue, her lips having been elsewhere,
She reminded when those same boys pass, who, her name and compliance no doubt share.


By Lance Landall




27.  All's Not Acceptable


No, all’s not acceptable come a couple’s intimacy, sexually,
Despite any contemporary voice that’s saying things to the contrary.
And here I’m referring to oral sex, which no man should demand or expect,
But rather, every woman’s right to be treated honourably, should respect.

The plain truth is, that a man’s penis was meant for one place and one place alone,
Not a woman’s mouth, such acts having more to do with that debased red light zone.
A place where men sink as low as their infamous desires, and where woman lose,
And why anything that’s deviant or born of lust a woman should refuse.

Such practices stem from the mind and not the heart, unless one’s heart is ill too,
For nothing should be used out of order, and nor should sex emulate a zoo.
In other words, it shouldn’t be reduced to an animal act, love elsewhere,
Such being the sad case with oral sex, for each others lips and heart should be near.

In other words, a man should retain his dignity, and also a woman hers,
Their intimacy loving, considerate and noble, lest ill somehow stirs.
And it does where men desire and are granted a lustful opportunity,
One that has more to do with using and abusing — so women, don’t agree!

Yes, for not only is oral sex an unhealthy practice, but degrading,
And why from such the injurious is seen to spring, and with it, trouble bring.
For such has more to do with porn than selfless giving, thought, love and decency,
And thus why it’s risen with the steady decline that’s plaguing society.

By Lance Landall


Funny how the Bible says, “...and let the marriage bed be undefiled...”



5.  On Reducing Rapes


1) Remove pornography — because it leads to addiction, obsession, and violating compulsions that can become uncontrollable.
2) Stop perpetuating the myth that rape is always a power thing — because rape can simply be the result of inflamed desires that eventually won’t take no for an answer. And this being Ted Bundy's own experience, by admission, (he a serial rapist, killer, born in 1946 and executed by electric chair in 1989).
3) Remove both the sexual and violent content so often wed to and so commonly associated with movies and TV programmes — because such has women seen as objects, decreases sensitivity, and also leaves replayed impressions on the mind that can lead to copycat scenarios.
4) Encourage abstinence before marriage and frown on promiscuity — because “boys will be boys” and inevitably pressure their dates, and there’s a fine line between pressure and rape.
5) Remove alcohol from the equation — because:
a) Alcohol affects that area in the brain where judgments are made, and thus has men acting under the influence.
b) There are men who will take advantage of a woman who's under the influence.
6) Help women realize that sexiness is a neon sign which highlights them in the sights of both porn fuelled attackers and outright predators who're even more attracted to such titillation.
7) Help women realise that predators like places where there’s no one about but their intended victim, and they also prefer the cover of darkness.
8) Help women realise that though their body is theirs, and that though they’ve a right to wear what they like, that prudence is a good friend, one that can spare them unnecessary pain and suffering.
9) Help women realise that when they’re dating that such is wiser done where others aren’t far away.
10) Help women realise that it's somewhat hypocritical to protest over "violence to women" whilst watching such on TV or in the movies, much of it where there's also sexual content, be it wed to that violence or not.
11) Help the women who're involved in the porn industry, and those related Hollywood movies, realise the explosiveness of what they're doing, and that they must take some responsibility for the consequences.
12) Help women to realise that two realities are:
a) That the looser they are, the less men will respect their wishes, because men will assume that they're not as concerned about things.
b) That some men who get fired up over what they perceive as teasing, think that such teasers need to be taught a lesson, hence their offending.
13) Shift the focus from blaming men to helping men.
14) Realise that rape is not going to go away given the kind of world that we're living in, and therefore, that following these points or rules that I've placed here, is the only way to at least cut rapes back.
Educating people is all very well, (as I'm trying to do here), but education isn't a magic wand, and changed hearts and minds being the only real answer, which, though such is occuring in the lives of many, it clearly won't occur in the lives of all.
Yes, there's no excuse for rapes, but there are reasons why they're occuring, and it's those reasons that need addressing.

Upgraded 27 April 2017




6.  Breast Implants


What your plastic surgeon is hardly likely to tell you, or will downplay:
Silicone implants are one of the most dangerous things that you can have placed in your body.

Remember this: That there's a lot of people getting a lot of money out of this. We're effectively looking at another tobacco scenario.


Yes, so much could be said about the dangers of breast implants, but for brevity sake:

When it comes to ones body, implants are an unnecessary FOREIGN OBJECT and ones body will invariably react to such — and I meaning, in very negative ways. To put it another way: One's body will always treat breast implants as an enemy.

But breast implants, in themselves, are actually a very dangerous form of cosmetic surgery, and a very costly long term thing to embark on. It should also be noted that it is harder to breast feed as a result, and that it's also harder to detect breast cancer as a result, and that the implants may rupture from the pressure of mammograms.

A woman will face multiple operations, (and thus more scarring), given that the implants have a limited lifespan, (10-15 years), and therefore need to be replaced every so often. Meantime, it is very common for them to rupture and the silicon within can migrate leading to very serious health issues. Such silicon has been found in the brain, spinal fluid, ovaries, liver and other organs. The sad thing is that women aren’t always aware that their implants have ruptured, such meantime injuring without them knowing. And this being why women with implants have to mind any external pressures that might be applied to their chest lest their implants rupture either immediately or with time.
A study found that even among those women who had never complained of any perceived trouble with their breast implants, MRI scans showed that two thirds of them had ruptured implants on at least one side.
Because women can't always be sure whether their implants have ruptured or not, such is an argument, I guess, for  regular replacement even where everything seems fine. One woman may get a good distance, 20 years maybe, without any apparent problems. Another woman might have a rupture within five years or less, or other problems. Complications are known to become more and more common for each year that the implants spend in a woman's body.

As a result of breast implants, women can suffer from chronic breast pain and breast and nipple numbness.

When breast implants are removed and not inserted again, for whatever reason, a woman’s breasts will be all the worse for the trouble, the breasts having been bruised, knocked about and stretched via the pressure and weight of the implants and any ongoing surgery that occurred. The larger those implants get each time, (as a woman may desire, and having stretched more), the worse they make the situation. When a woman falls pregnant, and her breasts fill, they can look as if they're about to burst. After all, there's hardly any room for the milk given that the implants have effectively removed the breasts ability to naturally stretch? All this also adds to the general stretching I've mentioned, let alone any unnatural look. And by the way, when a woman with implants is in a bikini, such are easier to spot given that such breasts oft present themselves differently, less naturally, even oddly.
And a woman's breasts that are fitted with implants will not feel the same as natural breasts, but harder, and more so when she's lying down given that that is when the breasts normally flatten out, so to speak, and which those implants can't the same.
Reconstruction surgery also leaves its negatives. And there can be a loss of breast tissue leaving a woman worse off than she was before she embarked on implants.

There is also the possibility of medical complications.

Scar tissue will form with its own set of problems, let alone any pain. This is called capsular contracture. As a result the implants can  harden and thus their shape alter for the worse.

Bacteria and mold can not only be present in the implants but be released from the implants into ones body causing serious infection.

Ruptured and leaking breast implants can cause a host of auto-immune diseases.

Yes, here's a few more things that can happen after having implants inserted:
Fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, scleroderma, multiple chemical sensitivity disorder, biotoxicity problems, muscle pain, swollen glands or lymph nodes, unexplained fatigue, hair loss, etc.

Breast implants, otherwise known as silicone implants, are very prone to the leakage of cancer causing neurotoxic agents.
Here is what I understand is found in silicon breast implants:

Methyl Ethyl Ketone
Cyclohexanone
Isopropyl Alcohol
Denatured Alcohol
Acetone
Urethane7 Polyvinyl Chloride (Liquid Vinyl).
Lacquer Thinner
Ethyl Acetate
Epoxy Rexin
Epoxy Hardener 
Amine
Printing Ink
Toluene
Dichloromethan (Methylene Chloride) 
Freon
Silicone
Flux
Solder
Metal Cleaning Acid
Lofol (Formaldehyde)
Talcum Powder
Color Pigments as Release agents
Oakite (Cleaning Solvent)
Eastman 910 Glue (Cyanoacyrylates)
Ethylene Oxide (ETO)
Cabob Black
Xylen
Hexone
Hexanone 2
Thixon-OSN-2
Acid Stearic
Zinc Oxide
Naptha (Rubber Solvent)
Phenol
Benzene-Known Carcinogen

And this why many women have become very ill, have even died, for all I know.
Women with implants can pass these toxic chemicals onto their baby when they’re breast feeding.
Saline implants are no better given that they still have a silicone shell and also have their own issues, valve and deflation problems among them.
And as for Gummy Bear implants — cohesive silicone implants — they're no more safer to ones body than any other type. Those chemicals that make up the implant will leech out over time whether there's a rupture or not, aided and abetted by body temperature, movement-cum-rubbing, etc, etc.
A note about rubbing: It needs to be remembered that silicone implants are a free capsule. They're not attached to the inside of the breast in some way, and therefore, they're able to move, hence the rubbing.

The truth is, that there are, and is going to be, a host of women out there with disfigured breasts and terrible health problems. It’s just not worth it. Better small, soft, warm, natural and healthy, better a women be herself and not something that she really isn’t. At the end of the day, breast implants are really just fooling folk. They're not the real deal.

Note:
"Breast implants in France will now carry a warning after France's National Cancer Institute found a clear link between silicone implants and anaplastic large cell lymphoma (ALCL)."
News release from the Ministry of Social Affairs, Health and Women's Rights (ANSM), France.

And something else that women need to remember is, that it's harder to live with the loss of their implants, (where removed), than it was to live with their smallness.
And the crazy thing about all this is, that many women who're dissatishfied don't have anything to be dissatishfied with at all. It's a bit like someone not being happy with their lovely two bedroom house and going all out to get a four bedroom house, but at greater costs and with the potential for things to badly unravel.
Oh, movies, TV and certain magazines have a lot to answer for. Yes, fantasy figures for a fantasy world.

You might like to read the following books:
The Naked Truth About Breast Implants by Dr. Susan Kolb M D. F.A.C.S.A.B.L.H.M
Breast Implants — Everything You Need To Know by Nancy Bruning.

Update:
According to New Zealand's TV3 six o'clock news, 28 August 2017: So far, (as of this date), five women have died in Australia, and three in New Zealand, from cancer linked to breast implants.

Upgraded 28 August 2016



7.  Men And Women, Their Differences


Taken from the book True Sexuality by Ken Unger

Being a man or a woman constitutes a different way of expressing the humanity that both share equally.
The average man is taller than the average woman.
The male skeleton is usually stronger than the woman’s. The bones are thicker and heavier. The greater strength of its bone structure obviously equips the man’s body better than the woman’s to overcome physical obstacles and to carry loads. The man has greater steadiness, strength and stress resistance due to his stronger bones. The man’s hand is stronger and bonier pointing to the fact that the man is built to control the environment practically and creatively, whereas the softer daintier woman’s hand is more suited to taking in hand the environment and looking after and caring for it protectively. A man’s bones are more angular, more rugged in shape, while the woman’s have rounder, less sharply marked forms and blunter corners. Woman’s bones are not merely finer, thinner and more graceful, but also softer, rounder and less rugged in shape. The more angular shape of the male body is more fitted for resistance, assaults and pushing than the rounder female body.
The striated muscles in men are more strongly developed and constructed than women’s. They serve above all for dealing with external obstacles. Wherever we manipulate, model or effect the environment, the striated muscles come into action. The man’s superior equipment in this respect and his stronger bone structure indicate that by nature the male rather than the female is designed to overcome external environmental obstacles, to reshape and master the environment. The woman is also naturally active, and is particularly concerned with things in her immediate environment. But her activity does not involve her much in pushing forward and overcoming external obstacles, so much as in caring and nursing, in sorting, tidying and polishing. A woman’s muscles are particularly suited to their tasks. They are by nature less suited to strong contractions than to active compliance at the right moment.
The suitability of women’s muscles to their tasks matches a similar capability of women in the psychological realm. The woman’s psyche, just like her muscles, can adapt very rapidly to every internal and external change. The average woman adjusts mentally and physiologically to external circumstances with versatility and adaptability.
The relative lack of muscle in women, which incidentally is not culturally conditioned but is the result of hormonal differences, is compensated for by more fat. As a result of this, and the shape of the bones already mentioned, the woman’s body is rounder and the mans more angular. We may sum up by saying that the man’s bodily frame is fitted for remodelling the environment, while the woman’s bodily shape expresses her greater gifts in arranging and caring for a circumscribed world of the nearest and most intimate things.
A woman’s skin is much softer, more tender, and smoother than a man’s, giving greater sensitivity. Women are therefore more aware of the pleasures of touch. This greater sensitivity of the skin matches the greater sensitivity of women in the psychological realm, their ability to approach matters carefully, their greater adaptability and sympathy, their capacity to give and take and to go along with situations; whereas the man tends to try to alter reality by changing it.
A woman, in contrast with all highly developed animals, has the appearance of motherhood without being or becoming a mother. This fact shows that the woman is built for motherhood as the goal and fulfilment of her being. The capacity for natural motherhood matches the motherliness in a woman’s psychological make-up, which may be developed even if biological motherhood is denied her.
The sexual organs serve the purpose of procreation and the establishment of new life. They thereby point to the man’s natural function of begetting and the woman’s of bearing. They also point to the man’s appointment to fatherhood and the woman’s to motherhood. The design of the sexual organs has as its consequence that the man as begetter in the act of intercourse is the active, giving and life-creating party, while the woman as bearer is the passive, receiving and life-sustaining party. Female passivity, male activity, female letting-it-happen, male effecting it, female receiving, male outpouring, female being found, male seeking and acquiring characterize the physical interaction of sexual intercourse. While the man has the more leading role and makes the ultimate decision if and when the union takes place, the behaviour of the woman is that of loving subjection, which she fulfils through the offering of her body. The woman’s resting egg is penetrated by the male sperm, awakening and bringing it into development. While a man simply becomes a father through begetting, conception is for the woman only the beginning of a period of far-reaching burdens and demands. The physical contribution of the man is thus fleeting in comparison with the bodily processes which the woman undertakes in motherhood. While a man is more strongly equipped for creative or destructive remodelling of his environment, the woman is more strongly equipped for arranging what the man has acquired for her or she has received from him.
A man’s life is characterized more by spontaneity than a woman’s: a woman’s life is characterized more by receptivity than a man’s. Among examples of man’s grater spontaneity one may cite his greater drive, greater aggressiveness, greater desire for leadership [dominance] and his particular capacity for creative achievements in all fields of intellectual life, a sort of intellectual procreative ability and analogous to his biological procreativity.
Women have verbal superiority [linguistic, articulation, fluency, relating]. Men have spatial conceptualization superiority [technical, mathematical, scientific, industrial, discovery, inventing, philosophy, art, musical composition] and abstract thinking [chess]. The most brilliant achievements in the realms of philosophy, art, and musical composition and the pioneering discoveries in modern science are overwhelmingly the work of men. Invention is also predominantly a male preserve. Man is well known in his thinking to be the more creative, the woman is known to be more receptive when it comes to thought. This is confirmed by aptitude tests which have shown male superiority when it comes to comprehension and reasoning, while women excel in all rote-learning tasks.
Regarding total intelligence the sexes are not really different.
Women are more holistic, more dominated by their feelings and more emotional. She is in less danger than a man is of isolating her soul from her body or her thinking from her feelings. A woman has a more developed relationship to the world of persons, a greater readiness to submit to the leadership of others [to serve, to give others help and support when they are in trouble] and a greater sociability [the tendency to seek the company of others and take pleasure in it]. Man has a more developed relationship to the world of things, is more eccentric and his thinking is more strongly directed toward the conceptual and general. For men this carries the danger that their reflection may become autonomous and cut off from the real world. The greater receptivity of women is seen in her greater ability and willingness to imitate, her greater adaptability and suggestibility, her greater linguistic aptitude and her superior capacity to sympathize, which rests on their greater sensitivity to people’s expression of feeling.
Whereas male cells contain a Y-chromosome and an X-chromosome, female cells have two X-chromosomes. This difference involves all the cells of the organism; probably the real personal differences between the sexes are determined by this. Sexuality affects the whole of a person’s body and not only a part. It is also evident in different hormone levels, in the different constitution of the blood and bodily liquids, of the nervous system, of internal organs and brain structure.
Every person possesses to a certain extent sexually specific characteristics of the other sex. This goes for biological as well as intellectual and psychological aspects. So in this way there is neither a total man nor a total woman.

This article is repeated in my Christian section.

You might like to read the book Why Men Don't Listen And Women Can't Read Maps. Though not endorsing everything within this book, it does bear out (in its own way) much of what Ken Unger has conveyed.



8.  As I Believe It


Contains a couple of Christian thoughts.

Males have always been the dominant sex, and always will be, and this having everything to do with Nature and not nurture or culture, but it all to do with those aspects unique to, and clearly apparent in, each sex.

Men testosterone driven, women oestrogen bound.
So, men and women were clearly designed to compliment each other, man being the protector of the woman’s well-being and having both her and her children’s best interests at heart, and she responding to his manly loving care with a willing acceptance that works in harmony with that mutually benefiting path, of which, both fatherliness and motherliness are a part. It all a natural, holistic, balanced, happy scene. 
I personally find it intriguing how Nature concurs with the Bible and the Bible concurs with Nature. Surely that’s telling us something. Women are the weaker sex, it says (1 Peter 3:7), though not derogatorily so, but only in the context that women are somewhat dependent on that more stable, ironclad, and shouldering masculinity that gives man his appeal — women more geared for raising children, they more vulnerable by nature, less robust, temperamental, all things nice like sugar and spice, and therefore needing to be tenderly looked after (child bearers needing support and security).
This being why the Bible instructs men to love their wives like Christ loved the Church — with doting care; the dying Christ telling the apostle John to look after His mother for Him.
However, all this falls down when a man loses his nobility and goes from guider, lover and protector, to user, abuser and attacker.
Traditionally, and by nature again, women have always desired that chivalrous, noble, rescuing knight in shiny armour who battles against ill, but alas, that knight has become but a shadow of his former self, his helmet missing, his armour battered, his sword blunted, his horse having bolted, and he too concussed to know what’s hit him.
Sadly, it’s all looking pretty pessimistic, but any change only coming via a return to the original blueprint that saw men and women working harmoniously in a complimentary way, both having their own sphere and functions, it all clear, in sync, and amicable.
So how’s it all gone wrong?
Well, various forces have clearly been at work here, and among them:
1) The corruption of a man’s mind and feelings via the likes of pornography, debasing material (watched or read) that soon has women seen as playthings, objects, something more to be used than valued, and thus loving care retreating from the scene, a man’s heart becoming harder, desensitised, even cruel and evil.
War, oppression, greed, filthy lucre and selfish ambition have also hardened man.
2) The feministic belittling of men and their undermining of the sexes complementary roles and functions,  a man less valued now too, he simply a means to an end, perhaps; women supposedly now able to do anything a man can do, such stripping him of that mystery unique to manhood that makes him what, who and how he is, just as that mystery unique to womanhood makes her what, who and how she is.
3) Women have largely forsaken the love of home and children in order to reach the shallow pinnacles of ambition (the age old lie of greater heights), in order to build nothing more than sandcastles, and women have exchanged their natural feminine ways, talents (and even dress) for that cut and thrust of the CEO table, that rawness and raunchiness that was once the sole domain of the red-light district, or the result of intoxication, and for that errant macho behaviour that has more to do with immaturity than masculinity.
Yes, women cussing, swearing, boozing, ranting, wearing the pants or next to nothing, they acting just as embarrassingly horny, as disgracefully crude, and as childishly cocky, and they toting guns, driving big rigs, boxing, or grappling on the muddy, bloodied rugby field — yes, of course they can do the latter too, but it all a big turn off rather than a turn on, like those black and blue tattoos that now deface their gorgeous bodies too, and health problems that once stalked men now stalking them.
Yes,
"Where are you, Mummy?"
"I'm under the car getting the %$@*# sump off. Tell Daddy to pour me a beer, will you."
No, it somehow just doesn't gel with Nature. Men for the rough and tough, women for the soft and tender.
Can't men be left with something that makes them feel they're men? Young boys wanting to be like their big rig handling dad. Hardly like their big rig handling pistol packing mama.
Just as the more a woman exhibits herself sexually the more men will be attracted to her sexually (and therein lies potential trouble), so too the more feminine a woman is (both in dress and manner) the more men will be attracted to her greater difference from them. Just like good people stand out from the crowd these days. Crass people being two a penny.
But, sadly so, Maid Marion is just as soiled now, the drawbridge down, the guards drugged, the castle broken into, the king removed, and an impostor's flag dancing in the ill wind, it surrounded by laughing gargoyles, eye-picking crows and commandeered cannons.

And so it goes, has gone, hence why we now see effeminate men and masculine women, disturbing look-alikes, both an insult to their sex and a confusion in the minds of young children given that the complimentary role models have degenerated into an empty farce
that’s if both are around, of course, mum doing what dad always did, dad doing what mum always did — and as for Gay marriages and adoptions — yes, it’s all a politically correct mess, a denial of what’s really right, and what really works best.
Yes, so much for snips and snails and puppy dog tails. Women toughing it out with the boys, giving back as good as they wrongly get, and barking orders just as loud. And no wonder many aren't worried about their figures the same.

And the result?
A far worse world for both women and children, less loving concern and respect on both sides of the gender fence, and cause for greater fear; men corrupted, their image distorted, their honour in tatters, their natural functioning hampered, and they feeling threatened and angry; their birthright stolen
enter domestic abuse, unfaithfulness, rape, depression and a self-destructing society that has little to be proud of and much to hang its head over.
And much damage (to both men and women) courtesy of feminism; mistreated women having thrown the baby out with the bathwater.
The truth is, there’ll always be bad men just like there’ll always be bad women.
Feminism’s no more the answer to the so-called battle of the sexes than nuclear arms are the answer to restoring peace and harmony in the world.
Once women could wrap a man around their little finger with their feminine charms (appealing to his heart). Now they’ve gone for sex, it seems (appealing to his loins), a sure sign of failure, and an even greater stumbling block for men.

Upgraded 23 July 2018


28.  Amazon Women Belong In The Amazon


If you don’t act like a woman, why would you expect to be treated like one,
Yelling offensively, giving the fingers, and why one man up and thumped one.
“How dare he hit a woman!” she cried, “What a coward!” and I shaking my head,
And thinking, women just don’t get it, ’cause after all, she’d just made him see red.

She had come up behind him tooting and flashing her lights, gesturing wildly,
Then he was overtaken, she leaning out the window acting as badly.
And once past, she throwing nails in front of his vehicle, incredulously,
And then at stop lights, she got out and leaned against her side door defiantly.

He slowly walked towards her and thumped her in the face — yes, no surprises there,
And as he walked back, her just-as-bad driver reversed at him, intentions clear.
Then off they went, he still behind them, this time she throwing a chisel; then came court,
And that “How dare he hit a woman!” when on herself, the whole thing she had brought.

His car window shattered, I must add.

She acting like a rude, macho lout, dangerously and irresponsibly,
A baby in the car too, the female driver acting just as shockingly.
That man not seeing a woman but a threat, adrenaline pumping within,
He riled by being made a target, his manhood as if kicked hard in the shin.

If men shouldn’t hit women, why would that be, given that no one should be hit,
Unless women are more tender, fragile creatures, which in this case didn’t fit.
She hardly acting like someone deserving of manly protection, love and care,
But a woman who thought she could take care of herself, thank you, and hence her sneer.

Yes, such behaviour hardly brings out the best in men, but makes their heart go cold,
They seeing no reason for special treatment, she as rough, tough, fiery and bold.
No femininity present, just a competitor, confused image, which
From a protective, chivalrous knight to an angry beast sees such a man switch.

Yes, he goaded by that macho “Come on” stance, hence why I feel compelled to say,
If such women want to act like men, they should be prepared to take it like men, ay.
And if they aren’t prepared to, they shouldn’t play with fire, and should act their age too,
’Cause Amazon women belong in the Amazon, just like chimps belong in the zoo.

Rightly or wrongly, she simply got what she deserved, her behaviour shocking,
And this why we all should listen to both sides of a story before knocking.
He vilified by the snapshot that caught his punch, there far more to the story
(As there usually is), and the judge seeing that, acting accordingly.

She acting outside of the law, insulting and challenging someone’s manhood,
Putting other road users at risk, including that man’s life, and there she stood,
Saying, “I want people to know I’m not a bad person,” and my head shaking,
’Cause such is not a path that someone truly good is going to be taking.

Some women want it both ways, they wanting to be treated like ladies, and yet,
They acting as bad as renegade men, and no wonder why trouble they get.
Men deserving it too when they err as he did, but she the cause of it all,
And thus her punishment being greater than his, the judge making the right call.

Oh, how deluded we often are, her act revealing her true condition,
And that she shouldn’t have behaved so, being her only grudging admission.
His life turned upside down, and she having no right to turn it upside down, yet,
Still wanting sympathy, and why from many people, sympathy she won’t get.

Once such wasn’t the way of women, but something’s changed that, and hence why we see
Females who’re a turn off, anything but a picture of femininity.
Or a Jekyll and Hyde scenario, one minute sweet, one minute crazy,
Hence why many men don’t treat them with the same thought and care, understandably.


By Lance Landall



 You might like to also read this:

Ex-escort Says Women To Blame For Lack Of Good Men


She’s the former Aussie escort who famously spoke out about bedding 10,000 men, and now Gwyneth Montenegro has controversially claimed there’s a severe lack of decent men out there – and it’s due to women being too “militant”.
Melbourne-based Gywneth claims to have surveyed 60,000 women in an attempt to identify relationship profiles.
Gwyneth says her research shows profiles have changed significantly in recent years, with the most common male profiles revealing “a degree of displeasure or resentment toward women”.
And the former sex worker claims women are partly responsible for this.
"We’ve used female rights to ambush and complain instead of to negotiate and to talk,” she told the Daily Mail.
Gwyneth insists she’s a feminist, but also says that “feminism has its place”, and claims men nowadays are left “wondering why there’s so much hatred” towards them.
“We loudly picket and demand if we don’t get our way," she explained.
“We live in a world where it’s common place for women to cry rape in order to get back at a man.”
Gwyneth, who worked in the sex industry for 12 years and used to charge up to $1000 an hour for her services, says in her experience, men just want a woman they can love and protect
These days, Gwyneth is now trained in neuro-linguistic programming which helps people with personal development, and says men are too scared to be chivalrous for fear of abuse.
“I don’t want to be so brazen as to just blame feminism for this,” she told news.com.au earlier this year.
“However, I think there is a part to play where men do feel emasculated. They don’t know ‘should I open the door? Will I get yelled at?’”
 By Allison Yee, Yahoo news article, July 2017.



29.  Dear Feminist


Dear feminist, I’m guessing that you’ve had a bad run with men — well, certain men,
A father, husband, or just a rum lot, and hence why I have picked up my pen.
And the main reason being, that though I can understand any inner rage,
It’s really a pointless and hypocritical war that many of you wage.

The truth is, there are men out there who have suffered at the hands of women too,
And yet, most kind of taking it on the chin, despite relationships that they rue.
And women in general not making it easy for men, ’cause how they tease,
Driving men crazy with their sexiness, women not seeing for their own trees,

And they wonder why they’re objectified, objectifying coming with ease.

Yes, there’s rude women, nasty women, cold women, cruel women, loose women too,
And many treating men poorly, and there’s those mothers whose behaviour’s askew.
All why you should mind when you point the finger at men, many of them noble,
And yet, many of you taking them down, hence why your rants don’t altogether gel.

Enter that phrase “the other woman,” and sex being a man’s Achilles heel,
Many women using sex, or they starring in porn, hence how from wives they steal.
And so many women nagging and belittling men into relationships,
So how about some fairness, ’cause men too, could spend time on pity party trips.

I’m not meaning to be harsh, but just straight and honest, fault lying on both sides,
Humanity the problem, that sad fallenness that within us all resides.
Nothing gained by blaming things on men, nor women, but by changing hearts and minds,
Which we achieve by breaking down barriers, and not by forming sexist lines.

By Lance Landall



9.  Women Rulers?


When Barack Obama was in New Zealand (March 2018) he stated that he would like to see women ruling the world for two years and that as a result there’d be no conflict (TV3 News 23 March).
To be honest, it baffles me how such statements can come out of such men.
Not only are women a same reflection of the sad state of affairs today, but history is strewn with, and has shown that, they’re just as capable of treachery, deception, cruelty, crime, corruption and degradation.
I could supply many examples from murderous queens, Jezebels and corrupt politicians to serial killers and unfit managers and mothers.
It’s not women that’s the answer anymore than men, but good people.
It’s not even more women that is needed, but more people who’re suitably qualified for the particular task and who’re of noble character.
If men outweigh women in this regard, or if women outweigh men in this regard, so be it. In other words, if this means that there's more men in parliament than women, or that there's more women in parliament than men, so be it. Lets keep the sexes thing right out of it. Such is nothing but politically correct, feminist nonsense. However, where men are better suited for some task or role, why not? And visa versa.
Who came up with the silly idea anyway, that a woman has to be a president, mayor, or CEO (or anything else), in order to prove anything?
The truth is, that women don’t have to prove anything at all, but simply be themselves, rejoicing in their femininity, their wonderful difference, their mysterious uniqueness and special attraction. And the latter is lost or marred by them trying to emulate or compete with men.
The differences between a man and woman are designed to complement, and this, in the home, church and society.
They both being equal in worth and being, but simply functioning in differing roles and ways at times, not because of force, but natural gravitation, instinct and sense.
And there being no inequality or inferiorness in this, except perhaps in the minds of those who’ve been fooled by the likes of feminist propaganda that has only served to make the lot of women worse.
And until this is recognised by all, there will be even bigger problems than those that have always existed between the sexes.
The truth is, that the sexes were meant to compliment and support each other, not turn on each other, not compete with each other, not do without each other, not harm each other, but bring out the best in each other.
And hence why men aren't meant to think and act like women, nor women like men, and why men will always be men, and
women, women.



10.  The Benefits Of A Woman At Home


A woman at home means that her school age children have someone to come home to, someone who’s always there — this preventing latchkey syndrome, lessening ill for idle hands made easier where parents are absent, creating a certain security, and giving her children someone to offload their school or general anxieties onto.

A woman at home frees up employment thus lessening unemployment.

A woman at home is good for neighbourhood watch — thieves and opportunists knowing that there are people about.

A woman at home provides stability for her working husband, who, just like the children, knows that she’s there — this taking strain off him, allowing him to concentrate more fully on his job, a career or business, which benefits both his wife and children.

A woman at home has the most important and greatest responsibility of all — raising sound, well-balanced, secure, happy citizens;  future doctors, mayors, policemen, etc.

A woman at home lessens certain stresses associated with both parents working who as a result of those stresses have less time for a number of beneficial and important things.

A woman at home is freer to help out in the community — helping new mothers, her or his elderly parents, giving neighbourhood support, volunteering, simply being there.

A woman at home can put more into the home from which wonderful memories can grow, and there’s nothing that beats that smell of freshly baked cookies that greets children who’ve returned from school; or that special dinner, attractively dressed, attentive wife, and titivated home that greets a husband returning from a frazzled day at work.

A woman at home has more time to deal with household emergencies and breakdowns, is there for repairmen, is able to take her children to appointments, visit school teachers, mind her sick child, and can check out appliances and so on needing to be researched and replaced.

A woman at home reflects the importance and wholesomeness of the home too often unnecessarily sacrificed for the so-called freedom of pursuing a career that in the scheme of things is but a shallow exchange; likewise material baubles.

A woman at home is freer to pursue hobbies and interests that not only are fulfilling and pleasurable but beneficial to both her husband and children.

A woman at home spares herself from the temptation of an affair so often associated with the work place.

A woman at home enhances the marriage given that she has far more time to concentrate on it and any issues related to it.

A woman at home is a role model for home skills that seen and learnt can prove a blessing in her children’s marriage and home.

A woman at home bonds better with her children and enhances their development.

A woman at home doesn't miss out the same on the likes of those first steps and so on.

A woman at home doesn't suffer from the same guilt trips that a working mother does.

A woman at home can better handle certain demands.

A woman at home is her own boss.

A woman at home is doing what a woman should be doing — raising her child herself.

A woman at home shields her children from the negative influences of day care centres where so many children are placed almost from the get go.



11.  Why Abortions Shouldn't Take Place


"I've noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born."
Ronald Reagan

Abortion promotes a culture in which human life is disposable. 
Abortion is not a safe medical procedure and can lead to future medical problems for the mother.
Abortion can cause psychological damage.
Abortions are something that no women was ever intended to have.
Abortion violates the Hippocratic Oath that doctors have traditionally taken.
Abortion hardly fits with being a culture of civilized human beings.
Women who abort their child in order to get their guy to stay with them often find that they are left alone anyway.
People need to take responsibility for their actions and accept the consequences. How many abortions being the result of promiscuity, one-night stands and short term relationships?
A child doesn’t deserve to die because his or her mother was irresponsible.
The sanctity of life should always be upheld and at every level. As Albert Schweitzer said: “If a man loses reverence for any part of life, he will lose reverence for all life.”
Abortion not only attacks the sanctity of life but lessens ones respect for it.
Life in the womb is equal in value to human life outside the womb.
The decision to abort doesn’t involve just one body, it involves killing another human being that has his or her own body.
Abortion is something that's hardly a right but a choice, one that's made without the consent of the other.
Whichever way one likes to look at it, abortion is still murder, the willful taking of a life; and life starting at the moment of conception.
All innocent beings should be afforded protection under the law.
Such unborn children are deprived of life simply based on their location [the womb] and their development status, and this being discriminatory, inhuman and cruel.
It’s been proven that foetuses feel pain during the abortion process.
Abortion is something that's reminiscent of a past time where the lives of children were taken in order to appease pagan gods.
Abortion desensitizes citizens to the beauty and fruitfulness of femininity.
As far as the Christian goes, abortion defies the very Word of God and its moral code for Christians.
And thus the only justification for abortion being when the life of the mother is at stake.

"At the moment of fertilization, a zygote is created. The zygote has DNA provided by both parents and, therefore, all of the genetic information to develop into more mature stages. The zygote period lasts about four days. He or she develops into a blastocyst for some 14 days, and then develops into an embryo. After nine weeks post-conception, he or she is termed a fetus. From zygote to delivered baby, he or she is a human being. There is no point during development when he or she matures into a human or somehow “turns human.” He or she is a unique human being from the point of fertilization."
Human Coalition website

The following is a verse from a Christian poem of mine called "Forbidden Sacrifices" which can be seen in an orange box titled "The Folly Of Winning," Christian section.

When women find themselves pregnant, a life’s a life, not a thing,
No matter how tiny — a seed from which life is seen to spring.
A person needing time and nourishment, everything there,
Hence why it’s a someone that’s killed, which isn’t right, isn’t fair.


This article was drawn from various sources.
Updated 28 May 2018.



12.  Sex Before Marriage?


"The ultimate intimacy belongs within the ultimate commitment."
Julia Duin


Sex before marriage displays a lack of control that doesn't bode well for a future marriage.
Sex before marriage usually gives to others what only one person is meant to get.
Sex before marriage can lead to unwanted children, that solo mother syndrome, all its hardships, and fatherless children.
Sex before marriage simply uses people for ones own selfish gratification. Love can wait to give, but lust can't wait to get.
Sex before marriage removes the motivation to work on the relationship, to truly win over the other person, and makes it easy for men to have their fill and go — men often losing interest in them after having had sex. So many men simply having sex with someone in order to fulfill certain short term psychological goals. And thus sex before marriage actually delaying marriage.
Sex before marriage shows that someone dosen't respect you enough to wait until the wedding night. And therefore, you'll be even less respected.
Sex before marriage lessens the solemnity of having children.
Sex before marriage makes marriage appear immaterial, and why marriages are taken less seriously.
Sex before marriage removes that very special memory making moment of a married couple's first night together.
Sex before marriage can be likened to forcing a door, prising a window open, or opening presents before the due date.
Sex before marriage removes protections that work in our best interests and that thereby spares us from heartache.
Sex before marriage means we've settled for less.
Sex before marriage is empty because it lacks commitment.
Sex before marriage can actually ruin a relationship.
Sex before marriage isn't honourable.
Sex before marriage leads to greater pain when the relationship is ended.
Sex before marriage is risky because condoms don't always work.
Sex before marriage ignores the fact that sexual intercourse immediately changes everything between two people.
Sex before marriage can damage your reputation and future.
Sex before marriage can create a pattern.
Sex before marriage with multiple sexual partners means that in the future you will have had sex with someone else's wife or husband.
Sex before marriage with multiple sexual partners can lead to one getting or giving some sexual disease.
Sex before marriage with multiple sexual partners affects our ability to properly bond come marriage. We won't feel as connected or committed.
Sex before marriage with multiple sexual partners can make those sexual encounters appear in ones mind when one is in the midst of marital intimacy; and comparisons will be drawn.
A survey of teenagers across the United States of America found that depression was far higher (three times more so) amongst those girls who were sexually active — in other words, who were indulging in premarital sex.
(National Longitudinal Study Of Adolescent Health, Wave II


"Never trade temporary pleasure for permanent regret."
Dave Willis


And further to  but dating wise and with some repetition:

Bear in mind,

That intimate settings encourage intimate actions.

That being alone together makes it easier for inappropriate and unwanted advances, and thus harder to counter any pressure.
That a young man’s hormonal state knows little of restraint and judgment, and hardly needs encouraging.
That youth has not yet developed its true tastes in others.
That in the scheme of things, sex is only but a part of the equation when it comes to marriage, so mind.
That once intimacy occurs, even petting, it’s harder to make detached, objective judgments. 
That you’ve every right to set boundaries and should.
That those who can’t wait don’t deserve, and are far more prone to marital unfaithfulness.
That users have a habit of loving and leaving.
That dressing sexy can work just as much against as for.
That frustration and desperation make for poor choices.
That those dating often hide their really bad points; thus one or two negatives can be a sampling.
That boys can read more into things than they should.
That feelings shouldn’t override sense.
That their lack of interest in, or little thought for your family, parents, is an ominous sign, a harbinger of marital unhappiness.
That he or she is a date and not your wife or husband, thus you’ve no conjugal rights even if they’re letting you indulge in such; and that an engagement doesn't alter this fact.
That allowing conjugal rights before marriage is a sure way to kill that motivation that’s essential in ensuring true intention and determining worthiness. After all, when a guy can get his hands on the goods beforehand, why would he necessarily want to hang around but move on to the next. Thus making him wait not only prevents being used, but tests him.

This article was upgraded 23 September 2017



30.  When Sex Is A Bad Idea


Once upon a time there was sex, a special thing between a husband and wife,
Whose relationship benefited from such; it all part of the married life.
Well, as happens, certain ones wanted it outside of marriage too, and hence how
Females got well and truly used, their foolish “Yes” like a gun that went “Pow!”

And who got shot? They did. Boys and men having their fill and moving on, cruelly,
They not having to wait until marriage, and why marry anyway, you see,
It like sex on tap, one free of any responsibilities, but oh dear,
“What’s with that bulge?” And how many want to stay? And all why they soon disappear.

Yes,

You enjoying that sex because sex is great, but there’s always a risk attached,
And why, as happens, things somehow come home to roost, it a bad egg that was hatched.
And thus keeping sex for marriage not so silly after all, so mind that date,
’Cause if sex before marriage suits them, there’s a good chance you’ll wish you’d made them wait.

And not only might you be left with a kiddie that’s a handful, but oh dear,
Something else that’s rather embarrassing, painful — and surely my meaning’s clear.
Hence why multiple partners aren’t such a good idea, and nor divorce, you know,
For where’s that new spouse been too? And this why our poor choices oft act like some foe.

By Lance Landall




31.  Why Much Needs Saying About Sex


The truth is, that the wholesomeness of sex, and its appropriate place in life,
Has suffered badly, it now corrupted, less to do with a husband and wife.
It savaged and sullied by porn and lust, one night stands, obsessive exposure,
It’s true purpose and value lost on most, and why of their shame so many boast.

No, there’s no restraint, every beneficial boundary sacked, it all on,
Society now awash with debauchery; chivalry and honour gone.
Movies full of it, television fuelling it, and as for computers, well,
A click of that worrying mouse and there’s every kind of sexual ill.

Yes, it’s become the downfall of many a man, a hole some women have dug,
They staring in porn, dressing to kill, and when approached ’bout such, there’s just a shrug.
No one accepting responsibility, sex just like a lolly scramble,
Everyone at it, and why into brothels even the elite amble.

Yes, everyone has played a part, except for those who’ve tried to stem the tide,
Though mocked for their efforts; white no longer the choice of many a blushing bride.
Kids wanting to know who their father is, other kids fearing their father, who,
Enters their bedroom with lecherous intent — and under the sun, nothing new.

So when will we learn having not learnt? And if this is freedom, pity help us,
And why it’s high time we alighted from the sexual revolution bus.
It has taken us nowhere and yet everywhere, we all over the place,
And that smugness is soon to be wiped off our guilty, self-serving, carnal face;

As if we can’t see the baleful results already, the folly and disgrace.


By Lance Landall




13.  That "In Love" State


Taken from the book Boundaries In Dating by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

Being "in love," in the beginning of a relationship, is an illness. It is treatable, but it is an illness nevertheless. The illness is the inability to see reality. For the very state of "being in love" is a state of idealization, where the other person is not really viewed through the eyes of reality. He or she is mostly seen through the eyes of someone's own wishes or fantasies that the other person is able to symbolize. But often the fantasies are based on enough reality that the stage of idealization can move to something real and lasting.
The problem is that if the idealizations are strong enough, and the person's need for them to be true are strong enough, then he or she can omit large chunks of reality about the person he is in love with. This is why staying connected to a group of friends who know you well is so important. Your friends and often family can see things about your new love that you will not be able to see. And you should trust them. Unless there is something wrong in your relationships with them, or they are pareticularly dysfunctional, they will not be looking through the eyes of idealization and need and will see the person more clearly. Have you ever wondered how some people that you know and love were able to pick the difficult, or sometimes awful person that they are with? Do you think that the prince just one day turned into a frog? Most times not. The frog was always a frog, even if he was dressed up like a prince in courtship. But the princess was looking through the eyes of idealization or denial. Borrow your friends' vision. You might need it.



14.  Love Making


(As it was meant to be)

Her husband creatively and tenderly kisses, caresses, explores and stirs her with a selfless intent that doesn't detract or distract,
so that she may experience the ultimate peak,
so that she may see that it’s an act of love and not lust,
so that he may leave her ever more convinced of the width, depth and breadth of the marital institution,
so that he may leave her ever more convinced of that lifelong oneness that was meant to be a blessing and not a burden.

Her husband gently lies on top of her, 
as if cloaking her exposed beauty,
as if shielding her protectively, and thus self sacrificially,
as if engulfing her with the very essence of his being-cum-love,
as if declaring his manly initiative.

And then, her husband duly and thoughtfully enters her,
that they may become as if interlocked in a special intimate oneness and bonding that no one else may share,
that he may claim her as the sole, undying object of his affection and care,
that they may become forever connected via the flesh and image of their offspring,
that he via his life-perpetuating seed may fulfil her natural maternal longing.




32.  A Rewarding Truth


Though married, love doesn't lust and grope, but rather, it waits, delighting to serve,
And it treating as if Holy and delicate every crevice and curve.
Yes, it not in a rush, nor feverish, but selfless, thoughtful and controlled,
So that a pure love and noble dignity the cherished and pleased one may behold.

And love’s eye not critical, but accepting, appreciative and kindly,
’Cause to love and to cherish is all about the person and not their body.
Yes, love’s heart is full of goodness, never malice in the form of get and take,
For the latter is how things are lost and killed, and why here, love makes no mistake.

By Lance Landall




15.  It's My Body! So I Can Do What I Like With It

Why this particular article? Well, don't forget that what we do with, or do to, our body, can thoughtlessly affect others.

So, if you want to go that way,

I guess you'll allow yourself to become obese via bad choices or lack of discipline:

Too bad if it hits the taxpayer who’ll have to foot the bill for those hospital visits sooner or later.
Too bad if you die earlier thus causing your loved ones to grieve earlier.
Too bad if you set an example that your children might follow to their detriment.
Too bad if you don’t look as attractive anymore.
Too bad if your husband or wife is disappointed with your lack of thought over how they feel about such.
Too bad if the way you looked when your boyfriend or girlfriend married you was what they thought they were getting.
Too bad if your husband or wife eventually loses interest and goes elsewhere as a result.
Too bad if you have trouble getting clothes to fit and thus greater cost.
Too bad if you become the butt of jokes.
Too bad if you’ve made it harder for doctors to inspect possible concerns.
Too bad if you can’t quite do certain things like you used too.
Too bad if when you try to slim you end up with lots of loose, unsightly flesh in need of a scalpel.

I guess you'll go and get tattooed:

Too bad, women, if some man who’d like to marry you finds such a turn off.
Too bad if your arms, for example, look like they’re black and blue, as if you’ve been badly bruised.
Too bad if it also looks like graffiti.
Too bad if your surgeon needs to cut through that tattoo leaving it even more unsightly.
Too bad if it’s clear that someone else has had his hands busy where only your husband’s hands should be.
Too bad if it makes you look like you’ve come from a rough neighbourhood.
Too bad if those tattoos have a primitive and dark association.
Too bad if when you get older and your skin stretches and wrinkles, that those tattoos may distort.
Too bad if detecting a skin issue is harder because of that tattoo being right there.
Too bad if you have some reason to regret that tattoo later on.
Too bad if that tattooing causes some bad reaction.
Too bad if it’s a passing fad that loses its attraction in time.
Too bad that someon'e making money out of disfiguring you.
Too bad if that tattoo gives a hard edge to your womanhood.
Too bad that it will cost a lot and pain a lot if you want it removed.
Too bad if it attracts the attention of lesser men.
Too bad if it's a visual distraction.
Too bad if instead of pure skin your partner's lips are forced to caress some black and blue image, and as if in homage to it.
Too bad that men are affected by the visual more than women.
Too bad if you become a Christian and realise that God has always abhorred such.

I guess you'll get into drugs:

Too bad if you become a burden to the taxpayer via rehabilitation.
To bad if you become a burden to loved ones via mental or physical impairment.
Too bad if you inflict pain on society while under its insidious influence.
Too bad if you encourage others to follow suit.
Too bad if you effectively aid drug pushers in ruining other lives.
Too bad if you mimic drunk drivers with the same consequences.
Too bad if your drug habit sees you eventually turning to crime in order to support it.

I guess you'll possibly booze binge:

Too bad if your health is badly affected.
Too bad if you injure or kill someone while drink driving.
Too bad if you waste the precious time of ambulance staff and medics.
Too bad if someone has to clean up after you.
Too bad if it affects your employer’s time and your abilities.
Too bad if it affects any embryo.
Too bad if it eventually affects your looks.
Too bad if it causes problems in your home.
Too bad if you become an alcoholic.
Too bad if your kids follow your example again.
Too bad if you end up with a beer pot tummy.

I guess you'll smoke cigarettes:

Too bad if it leaves you with an unpleasant breath.
Too bad if it makes your teeth look the worse for wear.
Too bad if it injures your lungs for one.
Too bad if that second hand smoke injures others too.
To bad if it affects your ability to run or climb.
Too bad if it affects your insurance premium.
Too bad if it wastes more money that would be better spent elsewhere.
Too bad if it ages you quicker disappointing your partner again.
Too bad if it shortens your life.

"If you really loved me, you would accept me as I am," is another blame game, pass the buck, cop out, one that also refuses to accept reality.

This article was upgraded 31 January 2018.




16.  Thoughts Regarding Men

On the one hand they're expected to be loving, and on the other hand, they're expected to kill without emotion come wars.
On the one hand
they're expected to be faithful, and on the other hand, they're daily confronted with the sexually tempting, and are supplied with porn, sex-riddled movies, prostitutes and strip clubs.
On the one hand
they're expected to be humane, and on the other hand, they're supplied with swords and toy guns as children, or real guns when they're older in order to kill creatures for sport, or to act out war games.
On the one hand
they're expected to act thoughtfully to others, and on the other hand, they're encouraged to aggressively compete.
On the one hand
they're expected to walk away from a fight, and on the other hand, they're encouraged to foster the killer instinct come certain sports.
On the one hand
they're expected to act honourably, and on the other hand, they're encouraged to sow wild oats.
On the one hand
they're expected to be a good father, and on the other hand, they're often deprived of one, or a fitting role model.
On the one hand
they're expected to act responsibly, and on the other hand, they're copiously supplied with a befuddling, disgracing and hindering substance that’s oft called a man’s brew.
On the one hand
they're expected to provide for their family, and on the other hand, they're often made redundant, denied certain skills, given an insufficient wage, unfairly burdened with a crippling rent or mortgage, and are hardly rehabilitated when incarcerated.
On the one hand
they're expected to act sensitively, and on the other hand, they're expected to be tough, fearless, and not give in to tears.
On the one hand
they're expected to act wisely, and on the other hand, they're applauded for acting recklessly come the likes of extreme sports and unnecessary life risking adventures.
On the one hand they're expected to "act like a man," and on the other hand, they're subjected to the sapping "a woman can do anything a man can do" mantra, feminist putdown quotes like: “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle,” and sitcoms where manhood is ridiculed via dopey husbands and smarter wives.

This last article was upgraded 23 March 2017.



17.  Child Care Centres


Human factory farming, it's said.

And the greatest social experiment of our time, it's also been said;
and the unwitting participants being millions of parents. 

Sometimes in life, due to personal circumstances and so on, we can’t always do the ideal thing — in other words, such may be somewhat beyond our control, and thus a Child Care Centre a necessary evil, so to speak. And given the errant way in which some children are brought up, and their home environment, such children may in fact be better off spending most of their time in such a Centre.

However, where possible, I personally believe that Child Care Centres should be avoided, and never used as a life-style choice.
Why?
Well, the first five years of a child’s life are critical to that child’s formation — that is, the building of his or her character, and here we’re talking about morals, standards, values, principles, etc. Thus, those first five years are very important when it comes to instilling the best in your child, unopposed by any negative Child Care Centre influences, or other.
It’s also very important that during the first five years a child have as much bonding with its mother as possible, indeed its father, even siblings, and that the mother enjoy the stages and growth of her child on a personal level, and not through the impersonal eyes of a Child Care Centre worker, who effectively robs a mother of so much, including any spontaneous experiences.
Research has shown that children left at Child Care Centres can feel a certain alienation from their parents, an inner “Something’s missing,” alias “Am I truly wanted?”
Placing your child in a Child Care Centre will expose your child to certain things that you may not wish your child to be exposed to, (or will expose your child to that which it shouldn’t be exposed to). Bad enough come school!  And among those things? The bad language and behaviour of other children-cum-the bad influences of children that haven’t been raised well; bullies; the influences of any Child Care Centre worker that are at odds with your own beliefs, philosophies, views, etc, (which includes any underlying Child Care Centre theology); certain activities and material; certain food; certain music; fatiguing and damaging noise levels.
Hence why I believe it’s best that during the first five years a child be at home with its non-working mother, and that it only be introduced to the likes of kindergartens when school age is near at hand.
Further to:
Studies have shown that placing children in a Child Care Centre can lead to a number of negative effects
aggressive behavior and poor social skills, for example.
Studies have found evidence that suggests that the longer a child spends in a Child Care Centre, the more stress it may experience.
Children who spend time in a Child Care Centre may experience a weaker parental attachment as a result. And those children who don't have a secure parental attachment are thus at greater risk of depression, anxiety and other mood disorders.
Children get sick more often in group care given
the constant bugs doing the rounds.
Your rules and the Child Centre rules may be different causing confusion.
Many child care workers are of dubious quality, and there being no one like one's mother, of course.
The truth is that it's impossible to predict how a Child Care Centre will affect an individual child, your child.
There's also the unpleasant atmosphere of certain Child Care Centres where the child care workers are disgruntled, or preoccupied with personal problems.
And there's that institutional type setting at such an early age.
No wonder parents can be left feeling guilty.
From a Christian perspective, it should be remembered that God gives the duty of raising a child to the parent, and not to some caregiver or Child Care Centre. And that duty is to be maintained as long as possible, and certainly for the first five years at least.

Drawn from various sources.



I thought I would place the following Christian poem at the bottom of this page in order to give a Christian perpective that I felt necesary, should you wish to read it.



33.  The God Of Romance And Holy Passion


When God gave Adam a wife, it wasn’t meant to be a sterile relationship,
And nor, I must mention here, was Eve to ever be Adam’s object of worship,
But simply someone to be loved as Christ loves us, though her, romantically so,
And hence why attentive, thoughtful, personal, deep affection Adam was to show.

Enter sweet poetical expressions (King Solomon knowing about such too),
And those intimate candlelit dinners for two with a beachy, sun-setting view.
Yes, I’m sure that Adam and Eve frolicked playfully in the garden of Eden,
And then quietly reposed to Earth’s sweet sounds midst other feelings stirring within.

Oh yes, a time for husband and wife to just focus on each other, and you know,
God responsible for it all, He having no problem with those soft lights that glow.
Nor, I’m sure, with pleasant, fitting music that enhances the mood, some place and time,
God the Creator of all things good — and to everything, a rhythm and rhyme.

But just so long as He’s not forgotten, thus gratitude welling up in our hearts,
God the creator of romance and intimacy, and all noble, refined arts.
A God who saw that all He’d made was very good, then said, “Go forth and multiply,”
Sterility hardly part of the equation, but holy passion from on high.

And there, where romance goes that one step further, God’s blessing abounds as much, and so
Nothing wrong with the sexual when it’s in line with those passages we should know.
The Song of Solomon balanced with both warning and instruction that makes it clear
Nothing good is to be defiled, and sex outside of marriage we’re not to share.

Yes, love does no wrong, nor thinks of just itself, and thus why all was well in Eden,
Eve dearly loved by God, cherished by Adam, whose every thought was without sin,
But both operating as God intended, their deep love for each other showing,
And so it can be today midst that mood-setting music and those candles glowing.

So let those sweet poetical expressions continue, those joyous surprises,
Those spontaneous acts of affection, and those little gifts, that God too, prizes.
He being the greatest lover of souls, the most generous giver of gifts, who,
When He created Adam and Eve, both romance and the sexual sanctioned too.

By Lance Landall