Parents And Seniors

 

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Parents And Seniors

Introduction

The poems (in defense of) PARENTS are somewhat split between the secular (1-9) and Christian (10-17), and an article appears after poem 9.

The poems on SENIORS start with poem number 18.

WHILE PARENTS SHOULD NEVER PROVOKE RESENTMENT AND ANGER (THE FORERUNNER OF
REBELLION) VIA BAD PARENTING, THEY SHOULD STILL EXERCISE FIRM DISCIPLINE, OR "WOE IS ME"
THEY'LL SOON SING, BECAUSE LOVE KNOWS THERE'S RIGHT AND WRONG, GOOD AND BAD, TRUE
AND FALSE, WHICH, IN THEIR CHILD, THAT PENDULUM WILL SWING, AND EITHER JOY OR MISERY BRING.

However,

FAR TOO OFTEN, PARENTS SUFFER AT THE HANDS OF THEIR CHILDREN, COURTESY OF EMBELISHED
TALES, EVEN UNTRUTHS, OR A CERTAIN SPIN, A CHILD POSSIBLY HOLDING A GRUDGE, AND THEN
THERE'S IMMATURITY, THAT INABILITY TO SEE, AND THUS THEIR PARENTS MADE TO LOOK BAD,
OR MAYBE EITHER THE MUM OR DAD, AND SO IT GOES ON, ONE'S REPUTATION SOON GONE, THE
HORSE'S MOUTH SELDOM SOUGHT, AND OFTEN DUE TO LITTLE THOUGHT, AND SO, SUCH IS THE COST
MANY PARENTS HAVE TO BEAR, AND MANY ACCUSATIONS BEING UNFAIR, NO PARENT PERFECT, NOR
A PSYCHOLOGIST, EVEN THE PRODUCT OF THEIR OWN UPBRINGING, AND THUS THOSE ATTACKS
SOMETIMES STINGING, AND MORE SO WHERE THEY REGRET ANY MISTAKES, HAVE SAID THAT THEY'RE
SORRY, BUT NO, THERE GOES THAT LORRY, ANOTHER LOAD LANDING SOMEWHERE, REACHING AN EAR.

1.  Parents

Please go easy on your parents, 'cause your parents can struggle too,
And so many mothers and fathers hurt and hardship have been through.
And parents can also make mistakes which they tearfully regret,
And why pillows their heads rest on — just like some children’s — end up wet.

There are many parents out there who raise their children very well,
Despite most unhappy backgrounds, or a lack of parental skill.
And though struggling with their problems, and erring as they go along,
They still manage to raise good children who choose right rather than wrong.

But by some unexpected wrong that their children may say or do,
Even the very best of parents can end up disappointed too.
And even the best of children who have been given the best start,
Can somehow, somewhere, sometime lose the plot, and from sound paths depart.

Yes, parenting's not easy, it’s somewhat learn as you go along,
Hence why even good parents inevitably get some things wrong.
But sometimes a parent will suffer for no reason of their own,
Due to rebellious children, or a child who's somewhat trouble-prone.

Yes, within every child and parent, complexities can abide,
And within the lives of each, sad inheritances too, oft hide.
Which is why every one of us should be slow to point the finger,
And why all, on such complexity, more thoughtfully should linger.

Often the wrong that some parents do, stems from harm they’ve suffered too,
Or from a very bad example that wrong seeds inside them grew.
Hence why cycles are repeated by some children that parents rear,
Perpetuating problems, and more heartache, that they too, will share.

Yes, there are some renegade parents, whose wrong no one should excuse,
But here we're talking parents who wrong definitely wouldn't choose.
So don’t be too hard on parents — rather, support and understand,
'Cause those errors that they sometimes make, aren’t errors that they have planned.

By Lance Landall

2.  That's Exactly Why

“You did it, Dad, so you can’t speak,” but that’s exactly why dads can,
Or mothers, 'cause that very same way is how their troubles began.
Hence via their bad experience, they’re trying to warn and protect,
And their sound advice — dear young people — you’d be foolish to reject.

In fact, you would be a bigger fool by ignoring what they say,
'Cause you’ve the benefit of their blunder, far less excuse to stray.
But why go repeating history when it’s clear such doesn’t pay,
And via doing so, just join the ranks of the fools of yesterday?

And hey, think about your own children saying the same thing to you,
'Cause such is extremely likely, if you, those same mistakes pursue.
Yes, it pays to listen to your parents and heed their sound advice,
And not go tempting fate, repeating history, 'cause there’s a price.

Believe me, it isn’t worth the pain, and is so unnecessary;
It’s bad enough that they’ve suffered, and experienced misery.
They’re much wiser now that they’re older, but you can be wiser now,
If you’ll just put self to one side, and to their greater wisdom bow.

The results of not listening can follow us throughout our life,
Reminding us in some way, dogging our steps, hurting, adding strife.
Such keeps that old carousel turning, and playing the same old tune,
And is simply a bubble, a deflating hot-air-balloon.

Yes, we may get away with it for a season, but that is all,
'Cause sound advice rejected, invariably leads to one’s downfall.
When we ignore our parents, it makes us just as bad as they were
When they ignored their parents (if they did), and saw troubles occur.

So who’s going to get smarter and break the cycle, snap those chains,
Before once again, via rejecting wisdom, folly another claims?
Will you act wiser — dear young people — than many who’ve gone before,
Or will you too, just like them, experience and wisdom ignore?

By Lance Landall

3.  When Parents Err

Perhaps your father hurt you, or your mother did, maybe,
And you’re still feeling angry, and quite justifiably.
Well, you’re not alone, my friend, 'cause such happens commonly,
And sometimes it can take years to heal emotionally.

However, I’d like to share with you what over time I’ve found,
And that is: Parents are the product of their own background.
Perhaps they were mistreated too, harmed emotionally,
Or simply influenced poorly, even unconsciously.

Now, I know that’s no excuse, but it should be borne in mind,
'Cause we’re all somewhat programmed, and the past seldom leave behind.
Thus what happened to you may have happened to them, in some way,
Therefore, your parents are casualties also, I dare say.

So be kind, try to forgive — plus, that’s the best way to heal,
Otherwise all that resentment future happiness will steal.
They may be nursing hurt too, remember, struggling as well,
And you, friend, may not know that, 'cause some find such hard to tell.

We all swear we won’t do this or that to our children, but
Sadly, we often do, as things are never that clear-cut.
Thus very few get through life unscathed, scarless, issue free,
Hence why your kids too will have an axe to grind, probably.

Your parents may need your help just as much as you need theirs,
And many who’ve hurt their kids have also been shedding tears.
We often do things we regret, sadly, things we don’t mean to,
And sometimes they’re pretty bad, or a case of deja vu.

It’s easy to knock your parents, hang their faults on the line,
But how many kids — when they’re parents — their parents outshine?
The truth is, parenting’s not easy, hence that wake up call
When you become a parent, and your own kids rebel, appall.

By Lance Landall

4.  A Father's Lot

Given dads are somewhat the family policeman given that the buck stops with them (rightly so too),
Their kids can see them in a far less favourable light than they otherwise might, and so often do.
However, where a dad's keeping law and order correctly, there’s a greater sense of security,
And harmony too, hence why a father should do what he's meant to do, despite any acrimony.

Yes, a dad's lot is far from easy, 'cause what kids may get away with with their mum (not that they should do),
They shouldn’t get away with when it comes to their father, 'cause with him, discipline shouldn't go askew,
After all, someone has to deal out those tougher measures, and such is what a father is called to do,
Given that it's more the natural domain of masculinity, of which women oft appeal to.

Yes, that manly authority, though they seeking brawn too, he the protector of their territory,
'Cause it’s hardly the wife who repels some intruder, and nor should it be, if we’re all thinking sensibly.
Hence why every home needs a caring father, 'cause where there’s no dad, there is far less law and order,
'Cause women weren’t designed to play a policing role, nor to wield an axe or sword, their shoulders less broad.

Sure some have tried to, or may need to where a dad is absent, but such is not how things were meant to be,
And such comes a poor second to the real thing, just the same as a dad hardly makes as good a mum, clearly.
We’re talking reality, that reason why dads bear the brunt of such a role, an unenviable one,
'Cause at the end of the day, how many applaud policemen? Hence why their kid's affection is hard won.

By Lance Landall


This poem was upgraded 21 November 2022.

5.  Hi There, Son

Hi there, son. I was just thinking of you, as I oft do, and it had me feeling melancholy, sad,
'Cause we’ve had our clashes, haven’t we, and I midst issues of my own, haven’t always been the best dad.
Thus it could be argued that I shouldn’t have had kids, son, though if I hadn’t, there wouldn’t have been you,
And yes, I do love you, though in my own flawed way, and those clashes and my wrong behaviour truly rue.

Naught prepares one for fatherhood, and each child is different, thus mistakes are oft made right to the end,
And by that I mean, when one has raised kids, and then you still learn things, or only then fully comprehend.
And hey, our mums and dads weren’t always the best role models, we thus oft repeating their mistakes, sadly,
And consequently reaping what they reaped, a cycle oft perpetuated, albeit unconsciously.

But at least I've learnt to say, “I’m sorry, son," 'cause though you oft rebelled, I sometimes responded badly,
Though not without seeking some help, help that wasn’t there for me, or at least not as much as help should be.
And that’s part of the problem for dads, men being men and all that, though help oft isn’t there for mums too,
Many of them caught in the crossfire, torn between their feelings for both, sometimes not knowing what to do.

Anyway, I’m sorry for where I’ve erred, wish you all the best, and I'm hoping we can have more contact,
Time together, 'cause fewer years are left for me, and health is waning — and oh, how things can distract.
Though my father erred too, I wish he were still around, as these days, I see things rather differently,
And as time goes by, no doubt you, son, 'cause the years teach much which the days never know, unsurprisingly.

Love, Dad.

By Lance Landall


This poem was upgraded 10 February 2020.

6.  Dear Daughter

A father’s love will never be without its flaws, and thus imperfect, sadly,
For fathers are very human, and why any husband will err too, you see.
But despite a father’s failings, those things that can disappoint, irk, hurt or mar,
Father’s still have their child’s best interests at heart; and faults on both sides there are.

And so it is within marriages, for though one partner may be mostly to blame,
How the other responds or reacts to such will either improve or inflame.
Therefore, remembering this will prove a blessing, but forgetting it a curse,
And so too those real or imagined grievances that humans are prone to nurse.

And daughters so prone to that knight in shining armour bubble that’s bound to burst,
Both their father or husband falling short, thus neither fully quenching that thirst.
But sometimes daughters or wives contributing to that less pleasing picture, and,
Why knights in shining armour can lose their sheen, and thus things not turn out so grand.

So please don’t be too hard on your father, for in time you’ll learn a thing or two,
And by then your father may’ve died, and his good and bad traits showing in you.
And how will you explain that to your kids? Probably no better than he can,
We all a bit of everyone, and a man geared to think and act like a man.

Hence those problems between the sexes, and they not about to go soon, clearly,
Though fathers clashing with sons, and sons with fathers — it not just daughters, you see.
But both seeing through different eyes, and we all having issues of some sort,
And why my door is always open; and best you remember that life’s too short.

By Lance Landall

7.  Listen Up, Kids

It’s easy for kids to knock their parents, point out their faults, and accuse them of this or that, but hey,
Parenting's learn as you go, despite all those books out there, and all those things many know-it-alls say.
And this kids discover when they've kids of their own, unless they’re amongst the very fortunate few,
Who, due to a number of fortunate things, don't suffer from many problems that most parents do

(Yes, good parents too), 'cause despite the best they do, kids are kids, and there's all that peer pressure out there,
Along with things in general that work against a parent's best, and that injuriously steer.
Thus no matter how hard parents try, their best intentions often go astray, or get torpedoed,
'Cause they’ve not only their own demons to fight, their own background issues, but those bullets that others load.

And like I said, kids are kids, they don't have older heads, and they seem to have to learn the hard way too,
Hence why despite the best of care, advice and training, the craziest things they so often pursue.
Aside from acting like they’re bullet proof, they're prone to rebellion (disrespect), which can really rile,
'Cause parents are human too, and midst it all (their own heavy load), can’t always grit their teeth and smile.

There’s no such thing as perfect kids, and nor is selfishness uncommon, but there’s another thing too,
Each kid is different, hence why parents are always learning — and along the way, messing up too.
All why they need some leeway, 'cause raising kids is the hardest thing to do, and more so, I must add,
When parents are beset by struggles of their own, past or present, and the proper help haven't had.

By Lance Landall


This poem was upgraded February 2020.

8.  No One's Infallible

Even those who call others to a higher moral standard can fall themselves, no one infallible,
But though they may fall, badly weakening their stand, and also opening themselves up for ridicule,
They’re still bound by duty (perhaps more so given their own fall), to keep preaching that same noble gospel,
Given mistakes hardly cancel out wisdom, 'cause not conveying such, can see others suffer ill.

And hence why parents (for example), despite their past mistakes, should still advise their kids accordingly,
Thus giving their kids the benefit of their sad experience, acting thoughtfully and lovingly.
'Cause what mum and dad who suffered via their mistakes, wouldn’t warn, seek to steer their child away from such ill?
And woe betide kids who say, “You can’t talk!” — 'cause chances are, they’ll soon have a sad tale of their own to tell.

If we only took notice of those who're perfect examples (who, let me repeat, aren’t infallible),
We'd hardly take notice of anyone at all, and what would we do if those folk somehow, somewhere fell?
At the end of the day, we must look at the merits of what's being said, bearing in mind we could fall,
And what if others then didn’t want to listen to sound advice from us? Wouldn’t we foolish them call?

While all who call others to a higher standard should maintain such a standard, life can trip even the best,
Who, while only having themselves to blame, should continue to look to another’s best interest.
And if we’re sensible (mature, that is), we'll continue to listen to what such people have to say,
'Cause if there’s merit in what they’re preaching, and we ignore such, then we too, will no doubt others dismay.

By Lance Landall


This poem was tweaked throughout on 6 January 2023.

9.  To My Children

I don’t ever recall my dad saying he loved me, and nor do I recall
Him ever saying sorry where he erred — and why between us, there seemed a wall.
So, lest I repeat history, though sure I have said “I love you,” and “Sorry,”
I’m saying “I love you” now, and how I’m sorry for where I’ve erred, and deeply.

Just how many men are prepared for fatherhood, and up to such, I don’t know,
And I could say I wasn’t on both accounts, but doing my crippled best though.
We all victims of our background, my dad his, me mine, and you yours, sad to say,
And hence why for your understanding and compassion I can only but pray.

And yes, “I do love you, son,” and “I do love you, daughter,” yet sadly, that love’s flawed,
But a love you could say I’ve been working on, ’cause much I have taken on board.
However, any harm done was not out of malice, but stress and issues, say,
You in my heart and you in my mind, and thus thoughts of you never far away.

As a Christian father, your eternal interests are my greatest concern,
’Cause this world’s all about hurt and pain, and why over your happiness I yearn.
This life is fleeting, and why beyond it is where it’s at, and hence why I pray
That you won’t let the flaws in your dad or others somehow get in Heaven’s way.

By Lance Landall

Thanks Mum And Dad

SENIORS

18.  Life's Autumn Years

Time soon passes, and you see the inevitable telltale signs, the body beautiful much less so,
Pretty and handsome hardly heard the same — that’s if they were, of course, and now not many years left to go.
And even they may be cut short, though it’s still a blessing you’ve lived this long, 'cause many aren’t so lucky,
Though I guess their fate's better than living longer but miserably with some painful infirmity.

Some of us age quicker than others, outwardly and inwardly, health problems coming sooner than thought,
Due to misspent youth, foolish choices or misfortune, who knows which or what, which this or that tends to thwart.
And adding to that, the sadness of seeing those you grew up with aging too, some having passed away,
Which is hardly comforting, a reminder of your own mortality, and your hair silver or grey.

There’re those who cross your path whom you haven’t seen for years, looking so different to how they used to,
And hence why you would never have recognised some of these people if they hadn’t thought to approach you.
And midst the playful banter, perhaps, you feeling not so cheerful given age isn’t always that kind,
And why you can’t help but shake your balding head over those who say age is simply a matter of mind.

Which reminds me: There’re those memories, it strange how some things just wander in and out rather randomly,
Things forgotten in the mist of time, some not welcome, others hauntingly nostalgic — smells, funnily.
And you find it hard at times, 'cause you’re still the same youngster within, but simply so much older now,
Who, upon the stage of life, still wants to be noticed, valued, loved, liked, before that final curtain bow.

Adored as a babe and a toddler, but in the autumn years of one’s life, it’s oft another story,
The older set the butt of cruel jokes, even being seen as a bother, neglected by family.
All of which you may have experienced, including loneliness, not to mention insecurity,
'Cause age makes you feel more vulnerable given your fragility, ever decreasing energy.

Well, life’s autumn years come to all, and as with everything, acceptance our best friend, worry our foe,
Which I’m sure you’re aware of, though such easer said than done, 'cause trials and issues can ebb and flow.
But still, there’s much you’ve learnt, much you’ve gained, having done your bit and played your part, and having raised those kids too,
All of which gives you a worth that’s priceless, and why far more so, folk should surround and your knowledge pursue.

And when that final curtain falls, you’ll still live on in hearts and minds, and in your offspring’s looks and ways too,
And in anything worthy you’ve left behind, a poem, song, book, painting, good deeds you chose to pursue.
So don’t lose heart, 'cause you’re a link in a chain, one that’ll always remain, your birth assuring such would be;
Another precious member of humanity that younger people should treasure, treat respectfully.

By Lance Landall


This poem was upgraded on 27 April 2023.

19.  Such Comes To All

I’m my mother’s child, my father’s son, but they at rest in their “comes a time” grave,
Though it was them that years of selfless care, and even life itself, this child gave.
And now, I quickly approaching that same time when death will see me resting too,
My own children outliving me, and soon, I less in their minds and out of view.

Seems only yesterday I was fussed over, for everyone loves a baby,
But given time, it could soon be a case of, “Alone again, naturally.”
Well, so sung young Gilbert O’Sullivan, he being somewhat the same age as me,
And heading in the direction of that same sad plot, firstly or secondly.

Yes, time passed so slowly once, it racing now, and it just the same for my wife,
Who, God bless her, has shared the same ups and downs, given me the best of her life.
But mortal we are, ships that come and go until no longer seaworthy,
One scrapped before the other, a loss too hard to bear, and where's friends or family?

Yes, I’m my mother’s child, my father’s son, I discarded and laughed at by some,
Until they too, meet those often unkind years that to everybody soon come.
A time when folk need that same fuss that’s given to a baby, maybe more so,
For such a time oft renders folk just as helpless, life ceasing to ebb and flow.

By Lance Landall

20.  When You're Older

When you’re older and certain body parts have been replaced with plastic and steel,
And, every part of your youthfulness, the cruel aging process has sought to steal,
It’s hard to accept such without complaint, without regretting a certain loss,
One no longer as agile, attractive or confident, and fate now the boss.

Yes, you no longer drawing the same attention, and possibly none at all,
Thus one simply left with memories, smells and feelings that continue to call.
And why it can pain to see what you’re leaving behind, it all more in the mind,
And where opportunity was wasted, much more regret one is bound to find.

By Lance Landall

21.  Pause And Weigh

Where are the ones I grew up with, those singers, musicians, neighbours and school friends,
Oh, is this how it ends, it always being the same as life’s curtain descends?
Another generation having come and gone, they now past tense, nouns not verbs,
All why pride and vanity are a waste of time, and oh, how it all disturbs.

Yes, it as if they’d never been, but for recordings, chapter and verse, photos,
Each like a seed that germinates and grows, blossoms for a while, then quickly goes.
And it such a shame, can’t remember their name, but they were part of ones life too,
Most there but not seen, and then gone, and hence that proverbial, quizzical, “Who?”

And thus inhabitants-wise, the face of Earth ever changing, and yet the same,
For midst the crowd, there’re family resemblances, that DNA and surname.
And so it goes, and yes, they too, come that descending curtain, and there they lay,
Having had their fill, their moment, their say, and still no change in the Milky Way.

All why in latter years reality hits, one having mellowed, borne injury,
Having shed that bullet proof fantasy, having developed more empathy.
Hence those regrets, even change in direction, one reaching out, lost in good deeds,
Having seen the results of foolish seeds, and become aware of others’ needs.

And many wondering what’s beyond the grave, time having sobered the blasé,
We mortal and destined to wither, and yet, we far too careless with each day,
And few left, energy and ability declining, the best years savaged,
And oft as a result, though age having its say here too, ones body ravaged,

And why in ones youth and not when older and regretful, one should pause and weigh.

By Lance Landall

22.  When Childhood Returns

23.  No Less Precious

24.  Seventy

25.  The Elderly

26.  The Aging Singer

27.  As With Aging Cats

28.  Age Is A Killer

29.  Thank You, Son

Yes, thank you, Son, because it means a great deal when one’s children show thought and care,
Especially when mum and dad are getting on in years, and there’s some health scare.
And hence that seeming dependence, fragility and vulnerability,
Which rankles with independence, and makes one feel a burden, or pest, sadly.

So, thank you, Son, your offer to do this or that meaning much, leaving me proud,
’Cause that’s a child worth their weight in gold, one who captures sunshine, removes some cloud.
And parents gone before you know it, their presence on Earth but a memory,
One made richer by your thought and care, which I thought I’d share, while life allows me.

By Lance Landall

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