Concern For Women



Some poems may seem as if for men, but actually contain thought for women. Hence my struggle as to where to put them.

My article Why The "Me Too" Movement Should Take Care is found after poem number 40.

Regarding unsuitable suitors, the plight of solo mums, unfaithful partners, domestic abuse, general mistreatment of women, inequality, how women should be treated, and more (though not necessarily in any particular order).

"Women aren't objects, chattels, trophies, playthings, rentals, disposables, seconds,
servants or punch bags."
The poet, author




Unsuitable suitors.

1.  Dear Suitor

My daughter is very precious to me, so I want the very best for her,
And it’s my duty as her father to rightly guide and duly protect her,
And hence my watchful eye when it comes to any man who has his sights on her,
Because I don’t want to see her hurt, harmed or used, though that choice is up to her,

'Cause where desire’s stronger than sense, it’s almost assured that one will err.

So let’s cut to the chase.

Will she be all the better or all the worse for your appearance on the scene,
Will she rise to a higher level or sink to a lower one, and I mean:
Will you keep your hands off her until you marry her, exercise self control,
Are you a disciplined man, have you standards and principles, a noble goal?

Or will others be heard to say, “What on Earth does she see in him?”, oh dear me,
Such not all that uncommon, ones manners and appearance conveying plenty.
So, what’s your maturity level, is your current state one of progression,
Are you going somewhere, are there any inklings of issues or aggression?

You see, if you can’t cut it now, you won’t when married, for this is how it goes,
One only as good as ones heart, as sound as ones mind, from which good or ill flows.
So, do you indulge in uncouth language, bawdy talk, lecherous pursuing,
Or visit porn sites; and when it comes to my daughter’s table, what can you bring?

Have you a little nest egg, or will she always do it hard, oft go without,
Are you responsible, trustworthy, faithful, or will she soon have cause for doubt?
So, should you seek my blessing, you will need to prove that you are worthy of her,
And that if she herself has somewhat fallen, that you will seek to raise her.

And hey, are you really matched, are both your paths the same, or will two worlds collide,
Maybe not immediately, but ultimately, and then there’s self and pride.
So, are you putting her best interests first, or not wanting to let her go;
The latter proving that you're less a man, ’cause by clinging, future pain she’d know.

Yes, would you love and cherish her, display affection, keep same hands in order,
Marriage still no place for lust, and why even there, there needs to be some boarder.
She no object but a person, her dignity to be protected, and so,
Best you do some thinking, son, ’cause unhappy marriages are hard boats to row,

And father-in-laws better a friend than foe, and there’s more I’d like you to know:

Should you have children, I don’t want to see them going astray, suffering too,
So what kind of dad would you be, your past or present a clue, undoubtedly.
And hence my calling a spade a spade, for stray dogs and alley cats don’t bode well,
My daughter not another conquest, please, and I’ve no time for that kiss and tell.

And should my daughter not listen and pain come her way, I will have the last say,
For she will have learnt that her dad was right, and why he wouldn’t give her away.
So you can seek my blessing, but if your intent and goals aren’t as high as mine,
You’re wasting your time — and so too, I believe, hoping for a blessing that’s Divine,

Divorce an ugly thing, and a negative response to this but a sure sign.

Yes, I’ve set the bar high, but frankly, that height should surely be normal for all,
The life of ones daughter no small thing, it so easily marred should ill befall.
And many an unsuitable suitor has insured such, wreckage everywhere,
Fathers left to pick up the pieces, and why I’ve made my feelings crystal-clear.

By Lance Landall

Betrayal, unfaithfulness.

2.  Broken

“I’ve found someone else,” he said, and so, in order to make his life happier,
He left behind his wife and child — and floozy wise, waxing lyrical of her.
“I still love you,” he said to his wife, prepared to destroy in order to get,
And thus that wife and child’s life turned upside down, and hardship about to beset.

Yes, vows to be broken, seemingly, and he knowing little of love, sadly,
’Cause love wouldn’t do that, but would continue to act self-sacrificially.
Thus that commitment he made to his wife but worthless, and gone nobility,
Manliness too, self at the core, and she feeling broken — oh, the tragedy.

Yes, some husband, some dad, prepared to shatter in order to satisfy self,
He morally, and principle wise, no longer a giant but a callous elf.
A real man thinking of his wife and child, not adding to society’s woes,
And she having said she’d still take him back despite such betrayal, which real love shows.

But no, she not ten out of ten in his mind, as if any person is ten,
Though she well in the higher range compared to many, but that’s the way of men.
Well, such men, they not looking beyond themselves, looking at the bigger picture,
And thus merciless regarding their child — and wife wise, quite prepared to ditch her.

And he not alone in his guilt, but that woman who betrayed her own kind, and
Who wouldn’t like it if the boot was on the other foot — oh, strike up the band!
’Cause she’d certainly holler, but treachery okay for her, forget the child,
Self a horrid thing, roving eyes a menace, love having a right to be wild.

Yes, desire mistaken for love, and why much done in love’s name knows naught of it,
’Cause if he’d do it to one, he’d do it to another, and why he’s unfit.
But such discovered too late, that affair no one-off thing, but months long, sadly,
There no remorse, he blind as a bat, and thus that wife and child treated badly.

No, that’s not manhood, that’s not dignity, and add to the mix, drugs, cigs and booze,
Too bad about that wife and child again — oh, the foolishness that many choose;
Yes, often part of the problem, the wife’s protests ignored, self at it again,
And why shame and cruelty is so often attached to the legacy of such faulty men.

Oh yes, “I still love you,” ringing hollow, his infatuation no excuse,
And might his floozy do the same to him one day, returning the abuse.
Oh, what a shame his wife didn’t heed the warnings of her dad, certain signs there,
But love’s blind, they say, and how so many pay, and the cost often very dear.

“I feel so broken,” she cried, and her father’s heart bleeding for her, such pain cruel,
That husband of hers simply repeating history, he just another fool.
We getting out of marriage what we put into it, but self dies hard, sadly,
And why so many marriages that could’ve turned out well, fail and end badly.

And is his life happier? Well, time soon tells, ’cause what goes ’round comes ’round, you know,
There no peace in guilt, no admiration in that child’s eyes — yes, no earned “Bravo!”
It but a tragic example that his child might follow, angry at the world,
Selflessness, nobleness and responsibility not having been upheld.

By Lance Landall

Sound advice.

3.  Don't Let Him Play You For A Fool

Dear distressed wife: If your husband’s been having an affair, and there’s no remorse,
And he’s still having contact with her, and at some stage, may well hitch up his horse,
And you don’t want that, still don’t let him play you for a fool, wisdom needed here,
Despite you still wanting him, and you’ve a child to think of, one that needs your care.

And so, show him the door until he’s come to his senses, risk or no risk here,
Thus protecting your interests, and that child’s, whom you alone may have to rear.
And so, you pursuing the necessary legal protection, help and care,
Turning that joint account into separate ones, lest money too, disappear.

Yes, you need to secure your position, thus tough love building a fence of sorts,
One that he can’t vault, he needing to wake up, and one reason why we have courts.
Thus should he want to return, you stating the rules, making sure he’s clear and clean,
Should booze or drugs have played a part, and thus there no return to that same old scene.

Otherwise, should you weaken, he may well play you for a fool, you on a string,
And in time, should he say, “I’m off,” it all the harder then, ’cause you chose to cling.
Yes, you having let him get away with too much, hoping that he’d change his mind,
Though he the unfaithful one, don’t forget, quite prepared to leave distress behind.

Betrayal’s a cruel thing, and should things work for him, you’ll be last on his list, and
He even gaining some upper hand, for all I know, for which I wouldn’t stand.
All why you shouldn’t mess around, separation needed in this case, or you
Losing any advantage, killing motivation, thus he not learning too.

Restoration requires repentance, a sound promise, and very clear lines,
Lines you must draw — otherwise, in time you’ll most likely see those same old signs.
And so, where it’s like I said at the beginning, don’t go making it easy,
Bearing too long, holding out, ’cause betrayal’s emotional brutality.

And thus back and forth it could go, more stress and strain, when there’s a need to move on,
Marital restoration all very well, but you worse off, and he soon gone.
That distressing scene needing resolving one way or another, and why here,
Any turn around window should be short, or you’ll be played for a fool, I fear.

By Lance Landall

4.  A Woman

Oh yes, the beauty of a woman in all her unique, feminine glory,
That rhythmic, poetical difference that tells its own beautiful story.
She both princess and queen, exquisite to the male eye, the focus of a knight,
Who wants to whisk her away to a forever land of indulgence and delight.

Yes, she’s poetry in motion, a heady aphrodisiac, a treasure,
So full of potential and capability, her company a pleasure.
Oh yes, the beauty of a woman, made to be loved and cherished, treated well,
Never owned but only minded, the perfect solution, the ultimate thrill.

By Lance Landall

Unsuitable suitors.

5.  My Dear Boy

My dear boy, what makes you think you can have that girl as if asking for a toy?
And given your casual approach, her happiness you’d most likely destroy.
Oh, how poorly you would treat her — yes, sex on your mind and not love in your heart,
Though maybe infatuation, coupled with a way that isn’t very smart.

Yes, for should you get your way with her (she possibly just as immature too),
You may end up in a situation where she has little regard for you.
For in time she’ll no doubt see those gapping flaws in you, she having grown too,
And won’t that be a shame, though right now, sonny, such clearly means little to you.

However, given time it most certainly will, should she foolishly agree,
For one predictable thing about life is that some things take more time to see.
And see she will, for underneath at least, every girl wants to marry a man
(A male who behaves like one), for lust is where many failed marriages began.

Yes, I’m tempted to say, “How dare you!” but youth’s seldom in our favour, we blind,
Unable to see with a wiser head, though sex and selfishness plagues mankind.
And why I’m concerned about that girl you have your eyes on, who some would die for,
And here’s you, she just another object, and why her best interests you ignore.

By Lance Landall

Unsuitable suitors.

6.  Begin When He's Very Young

If we want a man to treat a woman right, he should’ve been taught as a boy,
Lest via ignorance, falsehood or abuse, he lessen or steal his partner’s joy.
And so, each boy shown how, why, when and where, just what’s expected of a man,
Because manhood’s nothing to do with callousness, nor a mattress in a van.

So teach him to hold his tongue, restrain his brawn, and discipline his desires,
’Cause not one single women, emotional and physical abuse admires.
Yes, such behaviour not the hallmark of a man, but a brute, a selfish one,
Who can’t be trusted with the care of a woman, and nor her daughter or son.

So begin when he’s very young, mind what he reads and views, who he listens to,
And those mates that he teams up with, because woe betide any overlooked clue.
Yes, boys will be boys, hence why they need firm and guiding hands, a good role model,
Otherwise, there’s a good chance some woman will be the recipient of ill.

Yes, a screwed up man can mess a woman up too, and that means double trouble,
Or when it comes to peace and happiness, he bursting some good woman’s bubble;
And such disillusionment not doing men any favours in general,
The feminist movement clear evidence, because in time, things always tell.

Men and women are different; this being something men should respect, and so,
Just exactly how a woman should be treated, every man needs to know,
And needs to follow through on, love, care and tenderness going without saying,
’Cause everyone should be shown such — though here, a woman’s rights I’m conveying.

The truth is, that most men haven’t been educated, shown from the get go,
And so, with whom might blame lie, and is one truly guilty where one doesn’t know?
We quick to blame the man, but who didn’t teach him as a boy, show him the way,
And might some women be aiding and abetting, ’cause they’ve got their part to play,

They needing to be taught too, lest they be the cause of something going askew.

By Lance Landall

Unsuitable suitors.

7.  The Wrong Man Will Cost

Any man who says he loves you, and pursues you, regardless of how your parents feel,
Regardless of whether it’ll damage your relationship with them-cum-their joy steal,
And who pursues you regardless of how your siblings or friends feel, isn’t the right man,
And if you foolishly ignore these words, it’s a certainty that pain all-round you’ll fan.

What decent father would want to give his daughter away to a man who would act so,
For such a man is neither noble nor sound, which in time you’d painfully come to know.
And the reason why is, because genuine love will go without for another’s sake,
And not a path that causes friction, division and marring wedding day factors, take.

It’s never enough that two people love each other (their love often blind, by the way),
But that their union have the blessing of parents, siblings and friends, lest things go astray.
And go astray they will if you think such isn’t important, for it is, believe me,
If you’re wanting a happy and wholesome marriage, not a short-lived hollow victory.

At the end of the day, the big picture is more important than a dating couple,
Whose self-interest so oft gets in the way, and why wisdom they’re soon seen to farewell.
Hence their headstrong rush into perilous water that both them and others burns or chills,
Enter karma, for what goes around comes around, their own children repeating such ills.

So, dear, a truly good man will back off, go seeking elsewhere, even should such pain you,
He knowing such pain’s better than the greater pain you’ll suffer should he still pursue you.
For no man’s worth the loss that you may suffer, and hey, there’re many more fish in the sea,
It all just a matter of waiting, and thus neither of you acting short-sightedly.

Yes, better to have no man than such a flawed man who’s really just thinking selfishly,
His desire for you overriding any maturity, thoughts of your family.
All why I couldn’t pronounce my blessing on such a bound-to-fail relationship, dear,
Or at least one that’ll rob you of so much, for hey, how much does such a man really care?

Yes, it’s better you have a better man, not one who wrongly whispers like a traitor within,
His words knocking your parents words, or those of others, he thus going all out to win.
And win he will if you can’t see the wisdom in these words that often return to bite,
As one thing’s for sure — well, eventually, that is — that such a man, your life will soon blight.

A good man will respect your parents, he knowing your need of them, and yes, his need too,
For should your marriage falter, and you’re at fault, their support for him will come shinning through —
Well, hopefully so — and should your marriage fail, he being at fault, they would be there for you,
All why you should go about things the right way, for if it wasn’t for them, there’d be no you.

It’s never wise to upset your folk, nor make things harder for them, which you could do here,
Which is why I'm telling you to mind such men, oft bearers of promises that ensnare.
And they also pledging their undying love — famous last words — for so often is seen
The soon dismantling of some picket fence; home sweet home no longer such a cosy scene.

You see, it’s always better to gain something without losing something in the process,
Especially something that benefits one’s marriage, and that rather than curse, will bless.
Yes, for there’s nothing like having your family on board, they there should you strike rough seas,
And you, dear, at peace with yourself having valued and applied such proven words as these.

Love, Dad

By Lance Landall


8.  The Enemy Within

Foolish man! Can’t you see what you have done? All thanks to betrayal, lack of loyalty,
In other words, that foolish affair, a plague on many a wife and family.
How selfish, for now there’s a wife with a broken heart, crying, hurting, even depressed,
And if others hadn’t spoken, nor she confronted you, you wouldn’t have confessed.

And what about those innocent children too? My, some father you’ve turned out to be,
Given a man is supposed to be the protector of his wife and family.
But not you — oh no — you traded them all for a fling, sought another sexually,
And did so, despite all your needs being taken care of more than adequately.

You home wrecker! You martial saboteur! Imagine if your wife betrayed you,
Boy, I bet you’d soon squeal, call her trash, rant and rave, make her want to pay, undoubtedly.
Well, she’s showing you the door, and what’s more, you did it when she badly needed you,
Killing her faith and trust in you, and any faith and trust that your children had too.

Yes, you’ve stripped her of happiness, scarred your kids, stomped all over their security,
And you think you’re a man — well, that you may be, but one lacking in maturity.
You’ve done more damage than you can imagine, but what goes around, comes around,
So, I’d change my ways if I were you, lest your new partner in someone’s bed be found.

By Lance Landall

Unsuitable suitors.

9.  Mind That Gate

There are many good men in the world, but far more men who aren’t that good, and who
Promise women the Earth but don’t deliver, their words ringing hollow not true.
However, and when in love, even good men can promise what they don’t fulfil,
Or only partly fulfil, and why many women have a sad tale to tell.

Though not wanting to pick on men, the sad truth is that they’re by far the main villains,
Prone to violence, adultery, criminality and many more sins.
Hence those cowboy builders, con-men, carousers, abusers, despots and so on,
Who thus bring shame on all men, and why many women soon want their errant man gone.

Thus, when men are smitten, it’s usually their interests they pursue, not hers,
As well as the fact that it’s oft that physical attraction that firstly stirs.
Such only natural, you say — well, to a point — but nevertheless, beware,
For it’s not the body that should hold a man’s interest, nor clothes women wear.

Yes, too many men promise some women the Earth, but then don’t deliver, or,
That undying love they said they’d prove, dismiss after shutting the bedroom door.
Or, having got their woman (she having removed any incentives, foolishly),
They fail to come through on some things they’ve said, alarm bells ringing belatedly.

Too many men get away with not fulfilling their promises, or try too,
And yes, they too oft aided by women who consent too quick-cum-say, “I do.”
And hence why any woman should put a man’s promises to the test before
And not after she’s said “Yes,” lest some sloth or wolf prise some window or the door,

And mind that gate. But you know...

I have always maintained that when men treat women well, women get in behind,
And by that I mean, men having little bother with them-cum-harmony find.
But when men depart from that path, thus letting women down, their troubles begin,
For women shouldn’t be lied too, used, abused, nor treated like some mannequin.

Yes, history’s littered with the mistreatment of women, courtesy of men,
Who in war or peace have acted abominably, hence my poetic pen.
And though many men mean well, it’s still too often that they err, thus causing pain,
And why in the life of many women, there’s too little sun and lots of rain.

By Lance Landall

Unmarried mums.

10.  Unmarried Mums

Every mum needs a husband, a partner who’ll stand by her and her children, committedly,
Rather than those selfish males who have their fill, their fun, then leave for other pastures, calouslly.
Yes, such the plight of many solo mums, some of them very young, and who were pressured sexually,
And who submitted to such not wanting to lose that boy, one who left them anyway, sadly.

And thereby, many young mums left to raise their child alone, midst dealing with shattered dreams, sadly,
Yes, they there on their lonesome, feeling need of company that they've a right to, permanently,
'Cause not only was a child born, but weren’t they living as a couple
married, effectively
Or was that seed planted whilst dating? Pressure again, perhaps, empty promises, maybe.

Whatever the case, no mum should be left to raise a child alone, 'cause that child isn’t just hers,
But his, so where is he, and why must it be the mother who suffers, 'cause too oft such occurs.
And oh, how those poor solo mothers are stigmatised, not shown the thought they should be shown,
Given we all make mistakes when young, and why when older, we oft say, “If only I’d known.”

We’re quick to judge, but young emotions, pressures and influences, oft waylay the best of plans,
The tender years oft badly mauled, and given those broken homes, thus things  taken out of their hands.
Sure there’s promiscuity, such not to be condoned, but such mums still need a helping hand,
'Cause some male cruelly left them to it, which, to be fair, wasn't something these solo mother’s planned.

However, it appears that there are career solo mums, thus more kids following, and therefore,
More government money going west, and thus welfare like a cash cow where too open’s the door.
All why the welfare net needs to be handled wisely, and a message sent to society,
Because helping perpetuate the situation is simply acting irresponsibly.

By Lance Landall

This poem was upgraded and added to on the 20 November 2022.

As Titled.

11.  Renegade Dads

So many men (fathers) abandon their own child, unbelievably,
Some before their child is born, others sometime later, tragically.
Most males who sow wild oats have no intention of staying around,
Hence why when a child appears on the scene, they are seldom to be found.

For whatever wrong reason, most cut and run, their child the casualty,
The mum left fending for herself, against all the odds, so unfairly.
Yes, both just left to the wolves, thrown to the wind, discarded like objects,
Oh, what kind of man (father) so coldly his own flesh and blood rejects?

Whether the result of a one night stand or longer relationship,
There’s no excuse for such abuse, for such, a child’s happiness will strip.
Fathers cannot discard their child like that without leaving wounds that weep,
Wounds that torment, wounds that fester, wounds that shatter, and rob of sleep.

Yes, the world is full of renegade dads, who leave behind misery,
Deserters, men who don’t want to know, won’t support, irresponsibly,
Men who opt out, bounders, evaders, who leave their child without a dad,
Men who left after the going got tough, or after the fun they had.

And who left behind (devoid of a father figure) a hurting child,
Often full of anger, confusion, fear, rebellious and running wild,
A child looking for meaning, answers, even feeling that they’re to blame,
All because of reckless fathers who leave scars, emotionally maim.

Such fathers rob their child of security, thus creating issues,
Issues that soon perpetuate cycles, soaking pillows and tissues,
For not just that child and its mother are invariably affected,
But others too, at whom that child’s inner conflict is misdirected.

Yes, the world is full of renegade dads, who’ve left a sad legacy,
Men motivated by self-interest, behaving uncaringly,
Fathers who deprive their child of a dad, their own flesh and blood betray,
A cruel, shameful, heartless and cowardly action — foul play, some would say.

By Lance Landall

Unmarried mums.

12.  Protect The Girl

Women desire security, 'cause when a child’s born, they know it needs protecting, instinctively,
Hence why sex is not a light matter to them, like it oft is with men, who shouldn’t act so poorly.
But sad to say, even women these days are treating sex more casually, detrimentally,
'Cause that's a sure way to end up used, and left with a child, minus that desired security.

But despite that folly coming from many females, they still desire that same security,
At least underneath, that is — such being a natural inner yearning that Nature installed, wisely,
'Cause those little ones can’t care for themselves, but a mum still wanting the support of that child's dad too,
Who should provide for both their well-being, and so his wife the best interests of their child can pursue.

Though women can raise a child on their own, that’s not how it’s meant to be, 'cause kids need a he and she,
Both providing what only their gender can, which compliments and balances beneficially.
But what man wouldn’t want to act protectively, guarding both his wife’s and children’s security,
And instilling the same principle in any male child of his, both acting as unselfishly.

Yes, women desire security, 'cause unlike men, they don’t up and run the same, but act selflessly,
Standing by their child rather than abandoning their child, and thus behaving more protectively.
They doing what they can, but still needing a man, 'cause no wife or child should be treated so wrongly,
But rather, protected, loved, cherished and cared for, and which for him, should also come instinctively.

So go on, protect the girl.

By Lance Landall

This older poem was upgraded on 20 November 2022.

Domestic abuse.

13.  When Hometime's A Nightmare

When wives don’t look forward to their husband coming home, nor a child its father, there’s nothing so sad,
’Cause that arrival time (given his workday’s over) is something that should make each wife and child glad.
However, in too many homes, opulent or ramshackled, such is a tragic daily affair,
Where selfishness, thoughtlessness and injury on the part of the husband-cum-father chills the air.

Users, abusers, unfair accusers — call them what you will — and oft boozers, who make homes a hell,
Hence those sad, shameful tales that many battered, shattered wives, or sexually molested kids can tell.
Oh, such betrayal, cowardice, callousness (of which no man should ever stoop to, nor entertain),
That instead of daily doses of mental sunshine, delivers weeks, months, years of storm clouds and rain.

Yes, unseen deeds that go on behind closed doors, leaving behind a trail of heartbreak and misery,
Fear showing in the eyes of those so afflicted (which only the discerning eye sees, possibly).
Thus they — the cruelly abused — left shocked, numb, racked by feelings of helplessness, hopelessness or self blame,
And drowning in an emotional whirlpool — each distressing day, each distressing night, just the same.

Some mum and dad's daughter having made the wrong choice, ensuring the suffering of her child as well,
But she not necessarily to blame, for oh, how suitors deceive, make some marriage a living hell.
Hence how hometime becomes a nightmare for many wives and kids (upper class, middle class, lower class),
Whose joy is destroyed by such spoilers, ravagers of the soul, who make each day like treading on glass.

By Lance Landall

This poem was upgraded on 31 January 2020.

Domestic abuse.

14.  Many A Woman's Burden

Oh, that deep hurt so many women bear midst raising their children, a burden that’s so cruel and unfair,
Their spouse inflicting his selfish (even twisted) desires on her, whilst the kids slumber unaware.
Or perhaps they’re not unaware, hearing their poor mother’s stifled protests — yes, lust and not love at work,
Their dad forcing himself on their mum, wanting too much too often, and she, satisfying some weird quirk.

Perhaps her nerves are frayed, awaiting his return from work, his moods prone to swing,  perhaps an arm as well,
And she thus living in fear, feeling trapped, so mindful of the children, no one to turn to — oh, the hell!
Each mistreated mother’s story striking a cord, and midst it all, they protecting their offspring from such,
Be it via reassurances (so fragile and even false), though they have no choice but to do that much.

Yes, good mothers, good women, who deserve better — hurting, worried, yet still treating their husbands kindly,
In other words, despite his selfishness, callousness, thoughtlessness, foolishness, his acting so blindly.
And midst their efforts to raise their children well, there’s that real concern that they might become just like their dad,
'Cause many sons who have become thoughtless, abusive husbands (even fathers), that same background have had.

And there’s that length of time those mothers carried those wee ones in their womb, that discomfort minus his concern,
Yes, their husband’s seeming indifference to such, and even selfish annoyance — oh, when will men learn?
Yes, the lot of so many women, who, midst raising their kids, such coldness and suffering have to bear,
A burden that no man should inflict on his dear wife or children, because such is plain cruel and unfair.

By Lance Landall

This poem was upgraded 24 February 2020.

General mistreatment.

15.  Never Wound A Woman's Spirit

I was thinking about you, Son, and how stress can oft get the better of you,
And hence that flying oft the handle, or that harshness, which so much harm can do.
All why I feel for your wife, Son, and you’re very lucky to have her, you know,
So hey, never wound a woman’s spirit, but only loving, tender care show.

The truth, Son, is that while wounds may heal, the scar still remains in the memory,
Be it betrayal, humiliation, something cruel said, or physicality.
The latter a no go path, of course, and a path that I’m sure you wouldn’t take,
But reckless words and actions are bad enough, and can have her lying awake.

Yes, you don’t want her thinking, Son, so mind all those things that you might say or do,
Because once you wound your wife’s spirit, Son, you damage that love she has for you.
Some things one can get over, Son, but a wounded spirit doesn’t always heal,
Because you’ve pierced her very heart and soul — and believe me, son, that’s a big deal.

By Lance Landall


16.  Shattered

“I want a divorce,” he said, and there her life lay shattered (that of her kids too),
Women usually affected worse by such — oh, what scandalous men do.
And thus some affair ending that couple’s story, or was it pornography,
Gradually eating away at their relationship — oh, the tragedy.

Yes, a woman can sometimes be the culprit, but it seems to be men by far,
Who’re supposed to be protectors, not some enemy within who leaves a scar.
Oh, those stabs to a woman’s heart, hence why struggles and poverty oft follow,
That wedding day “I do” of his ringing in her ears, and awfully hollow.

Yes, that romantic dream of hers torn to shreds, even her worth, self esteem,
Given how such can leave one feeling, a horrid nightmare having replaced that dream.
Yes, those wedding photos mocking her now, she feeling the pain of treachery,
Women not meant to be treated so, but cherished with faithful intensity.

Oh, how sad it is when a person’s left feeling they don’t measure up, some wife,
Who, trusting in that wedding day promise of his, decided to share her life.
But then betrayal — oh, all those wasted years, as if simply dispensable,
Like her, he seems to be coldly suggesting, but no, she just as precious still.

A divorce, and even rejection, does not make a person any less worthy,
A human a human no matter what, but some cross may still have to carry.
Life often unfair, as is the case here, and so pick up the pieces one must,
Healing and promise attending many, who oft find that someone they can trust.

By Lance Landall

A warning.

17.  Mind Those Consoling Arms

Many married, hurting women end up in the consoling arms of another man, perilously,
'Cause the world's full of heartless opportunists, flawed counsellors, and men who simply don’t act prudently.
It’s better that such women find solace in the consoling arms of other women, and wise ones too,
'Cause far too many people are too quick to take sides, suggesting or advising what they shouldn’t do.

Many a marriage has been repaired, such being what all should seek, both the couple and society,
The latter meaning, family, relations, friends, anyone involved at the time, all acting wisely.
Yes, no selfish, thoughtless interference, nor ill-informed, uninformed, biased judging, unfair injury,
'Cause there’s oft two sides to a story, and even where there’s just one, that marriage can still be saved, hopefully.

Broken marriages mean broken homes, kids the innocent victims of such (that is, should there be any),
And they, all the worse for such generally, and the tragic fallout oft affecting society.
Hence why these hurt women should take care, though given their plight, it's quite understandable when they do err,
'Cause as I said, there’re men out there, who, when such women come their way, very self-advantageously purr.

And this one good reason why a temporary separation isn’t always such a good idea,
'Cause when a disputing couple part, both naughty mice and injurious rumours oft prepare a snare.
And with couples apart, communication and effort can be thwarted where it would’ve proved helpful,
And given the last thing a marriage in trouble needs, or some hurt woman, is another obstacle.

By Lance Landall

This poem was upgraded on 20 November 2022.

Also see my poem Mind Those Who Play With Hearts which is found on my page
The Heart Of The Matter, Home page, purple box.

General mistreatment.
Alternative Poem

18.  A Detective's Story

I’d been called to investigate a crime, one for which I’ve not received a dime, I doing it out of love, each hand displaying a glove, 'cause such required sensitivity, a tenderness befitting humanity, 'cause such crime scenes are oft pregnant with emotion and devotion.
And just as I thought, his dabs all over her heart, he having torn it apart — well, figuratively — she having bled copiously, broken promises scattered all over the scene, a wound from a heart-winged arrow far from clean, a cad and not a cupid having been, and for me, such investigations routine.
Yes, another case of breaking and entering, sadly, entry first having been obtained by prising consent, clearly, and there she lay, tear stains marring her pillow, and needless to say, he a heartless fellow, 'cause the wound she’d suffered was deep, it robbing her of hope and sleep, and I therefore shaking my head, wondering what fatal words were said, and then he exiting with his bow, she immobilized by his blow, 'cause who can mend a badly broken heart, it no easily fixed upset apple cart.
Yes, she still of tender years, and he, knowing how to tickle such ears, she not expecting that sorry end, so sure that he’d never offend, but he did, like so many cads do, his attentions more selfish that true, and now he was gone, and who’d be next, I thought, for no doubt another would be sought, and she too, not as knowing as she thought, and perhaps having ignored advice, she thinking their words more harsh than nice, and why “Love is blind” they say, and such clearly seen that day, 'cause there she lay, another notch on someone’s belt who true love never felt, and who’d spoil such anyway.
I closed the filing cabinet, it full of such cases, hence that sadness on so many faces, and yes, a number of victims being males, but either sex oft hooked on fairy tales, until reality bites, that is, and as far as happiness goes, affecting hers or his, and why there’s a need for care, a security latch here and there, and a good alarm that’s triggered by any who’ll harm.
I sighed as I went down the stairs, I wishing I could dry all those tears, and shuddering at the thought of more, those naive feet running to the door, many fearing there’ll not be a knock, or they unduly watching some clock, and rather than wait, they risking it all, when waiting oft proves the better call, and even no hand to hold at all, should one err and a life of ill befall.

By Lance Landall

General mistreatment.

19.  Hands Off Women!

So many women have borne the brunt of some man’s thoughtless insensitivity,
Or they have borne the brunt of some man’s selfishness, callousness or depravity.
Yes, they’ve either been abused sexually, physically or emotionally,
And daily have to live with the fact that rape is a distinct possibility.

And come war, they’re often seen as fair game, some low-life soldier’s opportunity,
And as if that’s not enough, are oft lustfully leered at within society.
All of which shows that dark side that’s far too often a part of masculinity,
Or at least a part of those men who’ve chosen the path of evil and tyranny.

Such is man at his worst, who, rather than acting nobly, acts barbarically,
And who thereby discards his protective role, duty and responsibility,
For men shouldn’t take advantage of a woman, but rather, ensure her safety,
And that of her children, or anyone who’s exposed to vulnerability.

Women were never meant to be playthings, a sexual object, nor some man’s prey,
But rather, the object of a man’s loving concern, and in every single way.
In other words, every man should always have a woman’s best interests at heart,
Treating her with even greater thought and care than he would a priceless work of art.

So many women are left in tears, left sporting bruises and emotional scars,
All of which their rights, needs, desires and dreams assaults, and so unfairly their life mars.
And then there’s betrayal, an all too common occurrence — a cruel, bloody arrowhead,
For it deeply cuts and wounds, sacks their inner sanctum, and love for their man, oft leaves dead.

All such women deserve so much better, and yet, suffer at the hands of some male,
Be it via rape, molestation, violence, put downs, blunt words, neglect or betrayal,
Be it via their father, husband, some relation, friend, or stranger who comes their way,
For wherever there are renegade men, there are innocent women and foul play.

Thus, hands off women! — I say.

Yes, it’s time men backed off, and let them be, it’s time men grew up, changed their brutish ways,
For mistreating women isn’t manly, but rather, immaturity conveys.
Yes, it’s time men acted like real men, and treated women with tender loving care,
For those that don’t, bring shame on all men, and also, their own demise thus engineer.

By Lance Landall

General mistreatment.

20.  Orang-utan Clumsiness

By the time we’ve learnt, it can be too late, or the best years lost to it, sadly,
And so it is with many men, I fear, they having let their wife down badly.
Oh, how much happier she would’ve been, and as a result, her hubby too,
But men seemingly prone to orang-utan clumsiness — oh, the things men do,

Or don’t do!

Most men hardly taught how to handle a woman properly, their darling wife,
Who, as a result, bears the joy-robbing cost of such throughout her married life.
Unselfish love, deep affection, thoughtfulness, patience and sensitivity
Either missing or patchy, when she should be surrounded by totality.

Instead of her being her man’s life, she’s oft just a part of it, like a toy,
Played with, used for this or that, even paraded — you know, those things that destroy.
She no mannequin, dartboard, rubbish can, waitress, call-girl, footstool or trophy
But a precious life, equal in worth and being, a test of man’s nobility.

She either treated rightly or wrongly, and dare she aid any man’s folly,
Bad husbands only worsened by such, and such wives left feeling far more empty.
Naught gained by encouraging, but holding to account, setting an example,
And where women take that sound path — wives, in this case — I certainly wish them well.

By Lance Landall

Alternative Poem

21.  Women

A woman’s worth is no less than a man’s, thus equal with every man she stands, different but not inferior in any way, not an object, nor a toy with which to play.
Her heart's not for messing with (nor her head), her body's not for assaulting (enough said), but her precious life to be protected, thus man seeing no ill's inflicted.
No, a woman’s not something man owns, but made of same flesh and bones 
 yes, an asset to be protected, not some carcass to be inspected, but a princess or a queen, just as important on the scene.
Yes, each woman's a unique individual, a blessing to man when treated well, and thus she to be given same thought and care, and all of life’s rewards should equally share, her place in this world no less, and all why her case I must press, ’cause without women, men would be all the less — lost, I confess.

By Lance Landall


22.  Woman, Hold Your Head High!

Any person or organisation viewing women in a lesser light,
Rather than equal with men in worth and being, and just as clever and bright,
Is living in a draconian world that knows nothing of reality,
And indulging in territory akin to prejudice and bigotry.

Though men and women may vary in roles (looking at things realistically,
Given women make better mothers, and men make better fathers, quite clearly),
Neither one is beneath or above the other in any form or degree,
Just like housewives are no lesser than business women, but choosing differently.

Yes, men and women are different, there’s no mistaking that, but though that be,
Such has nothing to do with value, each human being a priceless ruby.
And those differences designed to compliment, not compete, nor disparage,
Both working together for the betterment of each, like a horse and carriage.

It’s like with machinery, different cogs but each needed, necessary,
Thus men and women all the lesser without each other — shot, actually.
Roles simply roles, both equal in worth and being, so woe betide that folly
That views women in a lesser light, makes a mockery of humanity.

By Lance Landall

A warning.

23.  Dear Young Women Of Today

Dear young women of today, please don’t be fooled by what you’re being fed, those lies,
Each one designed to mould you their way, and fleece you of money, hence their disguise.
You meaning nothing to them, except where they profit from you, too often too,
Hence why I wouldn’t have a bar of it, it all something wide eyes can see through.

So just be yourself, a natural woman who doesn’t follow the crowd, nor
Bows to peer pressure, current foolish trends, that sexiness that’s become a bore,
It in ones face, shallow, empty and even crass, and why you need to realise
That much you see in theatres and on TV is all part of those same lies.

Women have more to offer than just their bodies (designed for marriage alone),
Hence why they shouldn’t give in to selfish demands despite any lustful groan.
And why they should pursue their own path, not copy boorish lads and their ways,
Nor degrade their femininity by things that men may do, the current craze.

Your best interests are better served by helping men to see differently,
To be what and how they should be, and you do that via retaining dignity.
And where they don’t lead, you should, standing alone and apart, confident and true,
Telling both errant men and the deluded, lying world just what they can do.

The answer’s not found in boys, shops or the stage, but in that path you take, and so,
It all coming down to the heart and mind, and which in your words and acts will show.
You setting a foundation that will make happiness more likely to follow,
Rather than hurt and disappointment, that “I told you so,” bitter to swallow.

So please don’t be fooled by what you’re being fed, those lies that beguile and blind,
Hence that repeating of mistakes of the past, of which parents often remind.
The young always singled out by charlatans and profiteers who stalk their prey,
And hence why I have penned these words of warning to you young women of today.

Yes, mind slick operators and their carrots (be they some business man or boy),
Who, not only ogle what they’ve fashioned so, or encouraged, but rob of joy.
Young women dancing to strings that suit agendas of every kind, sad to say,
They steered and manipulated via today's music, movies, mags and fashion,

And hence why they stray,

Because at the end of the day, there's not the same wholesomeness in things today,
And mostly quite the opposite, society in a sad state of decay.
And so, not just your mind but that body of yours being sacked by predators,
Those whose aims are selfish, misguided, and/or corrupt — and yet, where are the roars?

By Lance Landall

Steady as you go.

24.  Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman flies in the face of a man’s protectiveness, and to be frank,
She’s just another thug, whilst somewhat acting as if equal to God in rank.
Her supernatural powers (like those of Superman and Spiderman too),
Still resorting to very earthly means, that smashing and bashing that’s askew.

Yes, she’s just another violent offender — though here, in heroine guise,
Her same “End justifies the means” approach perpetuating the same old lies.
She needing no man to lovingly watch over her (like a good husband would),
But more than capable of thumping too, not that such is what anyone should.

Yes, all those Hollywood heroes are the same, very bad role models indeed,
’Cause within the hearts and minds of youngsters, they sow that same “Give it to ’em” seed.
And with it, a certain sexuality, that sex and violence fusion,
That rather than ennobles, simply fights fire with fire, and causes confusion.

It all seemingly designed to corrupt — fists, guns and zapping part of the scene,
Bad eggs aplenty, and a woman bashing men not something that should be seen.
Such simply demeaning men again, something that Hollywood’s very good at,
Men made to look like the usual villains, sexual predator or prat.

And so, who needs a Superman if there’s a Wonder Woman, though both askew,
And Wonder Woman a masculine, feminine combination, in my view.
And thus hardly appealing to any tenderness that resides within me
And governs my thoughts and actions where women are concerned, like I feel should be.

It’s my belief that underneath, most women want to be watched over, cared for,
But Wonder Woman needing none of that, and acting as if above the law.
She personifying that “A woman can do anything a man can” thing,
Which, in the hearts of  “Let me help you, Dear” men, hasn’t that buoying “Need you” ring.

It all seeming rather sad to me, woman power not in rants, guns or brawn,
But in their opposite abilities, those feminine wiles with which they’re born.
And also in their ability to say “No,” lest a fatherless kid result,
’Cause though men should be held accountable, one would think everything’s their fault.

No, Wonder Woman hardly doing it for me, but that damsel in distress, who
Knights in shining armour love to rescue — and yes, her best interests pursue.
Too many women busy tipping things upside down because of those bad men,
Which doesn’t work (hearts and minds not changed), and why the same old ill occurs again.

By Lance Landall

With housewives in mind.

25.  The Everyday Housewife

Though he no doubt meaning well, such only serves to knock stay-at-home wives, sadly,
When Glen Campbell sings, “An everyday housewife who gave up the good life for me.”
For after all, such implies that a housewife’s lot is not a happy one, and,
That she’s somehow missing out, and including those stay-at-home mums close at hand.

Thus, I wonder how much harm this very melodic, well sung ballad has done;
In other words, is this where dissatisfaction for many may’ve begun?
Oh, how folk underestimate the power of repeated lyrics, some song,
Which, as in this case, tars all housewives with the same brush, and gets things very wrong.

The truth is, many wives are much happier being at home, and strongly believe
That being at home is where the “good life” is, that they’ve nothing over which to grieve.
After all, the “good life,” just like beauty, is in the eyes of the beholder,
And why so many housewives give Glen Campbell’s so called “good life” the cold shoulder.

Lyrics aside, I really like the song, and applaud Glen’s sensitivity,
But his view that housewives are hard done by is flawed, and more imaginary.
For while some aren’t happy, and who knows why, many housewives are very happy,
The rat race nothing to envy, and the so-called “good life” more delusory.

By Lance Landall

A warning.

26.  Far, Far Too Young

Mind your young daughter, she thirteen years old, say, but ’round town with boys her own age,
They all far too young to be dating, and are sexually active I’d wage.
Yes, she far too young, and dressed to stir, those boys soon pressuring and begging her,
She deflowered before she really understands it all — a babe, as it were.

Yes, it’s crazy — and you mum and dad should be doing all you can to stop such,
She far, far too young, such oft fuelled by movies, and predators ready to clutch.
But surely you know this, so what’s going on, such freedom a danger to her,
She thinking she’s acting like an adult — oh dear — and thus why she’s seen to err.

Yes, she’s not just stirring those young boys her own age, but older men as well, who,
May well ignore the age of consent, or who those innocent young girls pursue.
But are you listening mum and dad? Is it just modern life, you think? — oh dear,
’Cause I’ve news for you: Your inaction or approval hardly shows love and care.

She may be well endowed, but emotionally she’s still a child, and you know,
Such endowment at her age kind of sets her up, and more so when it's on show.
But young girls are encouraged and influenced to dress sexy now, sad to say,
A certain adultness coming too early, and how they stray, and how boys play.

By Lance Landall

A warning.

27.  Too Soon, Too Young

One reason why so many marriages are failing is, because they were begun far too soon,
Only to become songs that wouldn’t make the charts, for certain notes were out of sync with the tune.
Yes, too young to truly know what they wanted, though convinced that they did know — plus, love is oft blind,
And hence why when further down the track — the truth of the matter — so many couples thereby find.

At the end of the day, maturity counts for a great deal, but such takes some time to acquire,
And hence why one is far better to wait until they are much more grounded, lest it all backfire.
And hence why it's wiser to wait until those hard to control hormones have subsided somewhat,
And those unrealistic romantic notions have given way to sense, and then to tie the knot.

With every year that passes by, we can find ourselves looking at things very differently,
And in time we can wonder why we liked or did the things that we did, oft embarrassingly.
And likewise, if we have married too soon, can discover that our choice of partner wasn’t wise,
And hence how the fire that once burned in the hearts of two people gradually flickers and dies.

Too often the seeker isn’t worthy of the one they find, and are seemingly unconcerned,
Which many worthy ones who have been sought by such unsound seekers, have only much later learned.
And hence why tying the knot too soon and too young can result in much misery come divorce,
For young minds and young hearts are far less likely to pursue a much wiser and unselfish course.

By Lance Landall

The right way to treat women.

28.  A Rewarding Truth

Though married, love doesn't lust and grope, but rather, it waits, delighting to serve,
And it treating as if Holy and delicate every crevice and curve.
Yes, it not in a rush, nor feverish, but selfless, thoughtful and controlled,
So that a pure love and noble dignity the cherished and pleased one may behold.

And love’s eye not critical, but accepting, appreciative and kindly,
’Cause to love and to cherish is all about the person and not their body.
Yes, love’s heart is full of goodness, never malice in the form of get and take,
For the latter is how things are lost and killed, and why here, love makes no mistake.

By Lance Landall

The right way to treat women.

29.  As The Die Is Cast

It’s my belief that men were meant to treat a woman well, shower her with love,
And such a prudent thing regardless of whether one believes in God above.
For love’s a universal key that unlocks the door of almost every heart,
Though having said that, it’s also true that treating a woman well is an art.

All why men should dote upon their partner as if she were a princess or queen,
She the recipient of daily affection and compliments in-between.
And should she be a willing housewife attending to her husband lovingly,
He thanking her at every turn, not taking for granted such kind energy.

And, let me add, he also minding how he goes come any intimacy,
Never pressuring or violating, she the focus and not her body.
For sex is but a part, not the whole, and why he should put his desires last,
Remembering that when it comes to marriage and happiness, “As the die is cast.”

Yes, when it comes to women, selfless love is what it’s all about, she put first,
For only via such fine behaviour can a man truly quench a woman’s thirst.
And why it always behoves a man to heed this sage advice, it old as Earth,
And therefore, it something that in time will prove a suitor’s unfitness or worth.

By Lance Landall

Unsuitable suitors.

A Christian poem by Lena Lathrop:

30.  A Woman's Question

Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing
Ever made by the Hand above?
A woman’s heart, and a woman’s life—
And a woman’s wonderful love.

Do you know you have asked for this priceless thing
As a child might ask for a toy?
Demanding what others have died to win.
With the reckless dash of a boy.

You have written my lesson of duty out,
Manlike, you have questioned me.
Now stand at the bars of my woman’s soul
Until I shall question thee.

You require your mutton shall always be hot,
Your socks and your shirt be whole;
I require your heart be true as God’s stars
And as pure as His heaven your soul.

You require a cook for your mutton and beef,
I require a far greater thing;
A seamstress you’re wanting for socks and shirts—
I look for a man and a king.

A king for the beautiful realm called Home,
And a man that his Maker, God,
Shall look upon as He did on the first
And say: “It is very good.”

I am fair and young, but the rose may fade
From this soft young cheek one day;
Will you love me then ‘mid the falling leaves,
As you did ‘mong the blossoms of May?

Is your heart an ocean so strong and true,
I may launch my all on its tide?
A loving woman finds heaven or hell
On the day she is made a bride.

I require all things that are grand and true,
All things that a man should be;
If you give this all, I would stake my life
To be all you demand of me.

If you cannot be this, a laundress and cook
You can hire and little to pay;
But a woman’s heart and a woman’s life
Are not to be won that way.

The right way to treat women.
Alternative Poem

31.  For Your Husband

A husband isn’t superior, and nor his wife inferior, thus not at his feet but by his side, though he with care may lovingly guide, and not because he’s more smart, but because her best is in his heart, and he thus seeking to protect, which every wife’s a right to expect, he always honest and transparent (not to mention, a responsible parent), she cherished and treasured, never weighed and measured, but rather, lovingly cared for (and as time goes by, even more), she complimented and appreciated, her wishes and desires accommodated, and he, ever ready to support, and effectively still court, thus treating, spoiling and delighting her, more oft seeking what
she’d prefer, his attentiveness habitual, his affection no mere ritual, but deep, daily and meaningful, his faithfulness as perennial — such of course being the only way, from which husbands shouldn’t stray, thus ensuring that all their life, they still have the love of their wife.

By Lance Landall

The right way to treat women.

32.  By Fate Or Daring

She has accepted you as her man, given her life and soul to you, so please,
Treat her well, love her to the moon and back, every opportunity seize.
Shower her with affection, tell her you love her over and over again,
So that she won’t regret having chosen you out of all the admiring men.

Yes, do your best to make her happy, fill her life with laughter, call her, “Honey,”
And always be very generous with your time, abilities and money.
Treat her like a queen, listen like you’re mesmerised — yes, woo her every day,
Lest from your arms she’s wrenched by fate or daring, and so she’ll be there ’till you’re grey.

By Lance Landall

The right way to treat women.

33.  How Does One Treat A Woman, One's Wife?

“How does one treat a woman?” he asked me. “As if she’s an endangered species,”
I replied with a smile, which only an honourable man desires and sees.
Never that man who can’t see past his food, loins, mates and beer, and who’s seldom there,
Or having a compartmentalised adulterous night, even long term affair.

So, how does one treat a woman, getting to the nuts and bolts of it all, and,
Bearing in mind those differences that neither sex will fully understand?
Well, you treat her like a female first and foremost, rough hands having no place here,
And you never giving her any reason for disappointment, doubts or fear.

In other words, you treat her like a lady, thus opening doors before her,
And when it comes to a clash of desires, you doing that which she would prefer,
And that way you’re surely bound to please, and how your tender care for her she sees,
For once you defend your wants, she’s likely to feel a cooling, self-centred breeze.

And yes, usher her cross busy roads with a gentle, watchful, protective hand,
And you then taking the curb side lest some driver make a move they hadn’t planned.
For she needs to know what length and depth you’d go to for her, should some threat arise;
Though such should be the way of any man the moment he hears a woman’s cries.

And yes, treat her kids well too, for how you do says so much too, they of her womb,
And thus when it comes to certain behaviour or acts, you giving such no room.
And such being to your benefit too, as your wife and kids will reciprocate,
For what goes around comes around, it's said, which so many find out far too late.

But you know (and not to mention that example that fathers set-cum-show),

A man’s not a man — well, hardly manly — if he treats any woman poorly,
And why a man should treat his partner well, love and cherish her, actually.
Yes, he delivering on his promises, or what he leads her to believe,
For there’s nothing worse than a spouse who’s seen to strike, renege, betray or deceive.

So, how does one treat a woman? Via all the above and more, that she may bloom,
And never have cause to regret whom she married, that younger sweet-talking groom.
He older now, but still treating her as affectionately, sensitively,
For a woman’s heart is never to be won but romanced continually.

Yes, that's how you treat a woman — your wife — though all women should be treated well,
For what does it say of men when women aren't? Hence those tales many have to tell.
And all why every husband should always seek to do what is best for his wife,
Who, when it comes to their relationship, has every right to a happy life.

By Lance Landall

The right way to treat women.

34.  How To Treat Your Wife

Love her, love her, love her, love her, absolutely love her,
Unconditionally, extraordinarily, faithfully.
Just really truly, love, love, love, love, love, love, love her,
Interestedly, understandingly, harmoniously.

Love her, love her, love her, love her, absolutely love her,
Appropriately, emphatically, passionately.
Just really truly, love, love, love, love, love, love, love her,
Generously, ceaselessly, perpetually, persuasively.

Love her, love her, love her, love her, absolutely love her,
Longingly, thoughtfully, noticeably, openly, totally.
Just really truly, love, love, love, love, love, love, love her,
Respectfully, helpfully, purposefully, abundantly.

Love her, love her, love her, love her, absolutely love her,
Sensitively, sympathetically, reasonably.
Just really truly, love, love, love, love, love, love, love her,
Romantically, attentively, exquisitely, kindly.

Love her, love her, love her, love her, absolutely love her,
Gratefully, graciously, patiently, genuinely, rightly.
Just really truly, love, love, love, love, love, love, love her,
Unhurriedly, tenderly, knowingly, intimately.

Love her, love her, love her, love her, absolutely love her,
Earnestly, energetically, surprisingly, gladly.
Just really truly, love, love, love, love, love, love, love her,
Observantly, lavishly, gentlemanly, pleasantly.

Love her, love her, love her, love her, absolutely love her,
Exceptionally, willingly, protectively, jealously.
Yes, just really truly, love, love, love, love, love, love her,
Supportively, tactfully, and oh yes — telepathically.

By Lance Landall

35.  Dear Son-In-Law To Be

When you push on ahead without the blessing of your father-in-law to be,
You prove your unworthiness, forgo that blessing that works beneficially.
A good man seeks to earn that blessing, not asks and then responds impatiently,
Because that’s how he soon loses the respect of his father-in-law to be.

Yes, that son-in-law to be may get that daughter’s “Yes, I will,” but at a cost,
Because regaining that respect can take an awfully long time once it’s lost.
That’s if it is regained, and why it’s folly to treat that blessing so lightly,
Remembering that what goes ’round comes ’round; perhaps the same thing visiting thee.

Without her dad’s approval, your wife’s happiness will be lessened by degree,
His heart not truly in that relationship, you having acted childishly.
And thus you having lost too; such not the actions of a man but more a boy,
Who, via wanting it all his way, something very special is sure to destroy.

A father would be a selfish, thoughtless fool too, if here, he wasn’t fussy,
Protecting her being his duty, and why here, he should act responsibly.
And this why, if he’s worth his salt, he’s not going to say “Yes” to just anyone,
And where need be — figuratively speaking, that is — may well reach for his gun.

By Lance Landall

Unsuitable suitors.

36.  A Father's Loving Plea

My precious darling daughter, there is much that I need to say
Regarding many dangers that could soon see you led astray.
But there is one important thing, that now, I wish to mention,
And if happiness you want, please give this your full attention.

This world is not the way it was, not that it has been fault-free,
But now, because it has worsened, much more wrong about you’ll see.
Some things can look attractive that in actual fact just hide
That which given half a chance could soon see you taken for a ride.

And such it is with certain men, who’ll try to ply one’s daughter
With some nice gift and hollow words, as they pretend to court her.
Yes, it takes a man to know one, thus the need to say to you,
That many a man’s intentions aren’t honourable or true.

Yes, so many steps are taken by some men who prise consent,
That in time will soon prove to you that they were not Heaven-sent.
And though they will try and fool you that you don’t have need for fear,
An error here could soon see these wise words ringing in your ear.

Any man who’ll truly love you, will never want to hurt you,
Thus, there’ll be no selfish focus in the things he’ll say and do.
However, it can happen, that like this a suitor will seem,
When in fact he’s just fooling you, as that is how some men scheme.

If a man isn't genuine, caution here should find that out,
For in such matters of the heart, you cannot afford a doubt.
So many inexperienced and caught up in emotions
Have suffered miserably due to unsound young devotions.

Thus, men who focus on the body will not be right for you,
So watch your presentation lest you get a man that you’ll rue.
They’ll treat you like an object, though could you wonder that they do
Should sexual titillation be written all over you?

This world is so obsessed with sex, and we shouldn't be surprised,
Given that self-gratification appears to be more prized.
And no wonder many men today with what they're being fed,
When it comes down to women, now think more just in terms of bed.

A man should love you for yourself, and should seek just you to please,
But this, of course, is something that only the right man sees.
A permanent relationship should be built on solid ground,
And as this is so pivotal, don’t marry one who plays around.

For many it’s just like shopping — they will try and then discard,
Unconcerned their philandering can hit some (rejected) hard.
And sadly, many women too, also play this foolish game,
Compounding such behaviour, and thus sharing the shame and blame.

Some men may be good at heart, but sexually addicted;
Though not meaning harm to you, it can surely be predicted.
And bear in mind that any child that might grow up like that dad,
Could also bring you much sadness, and just to your problems add.

All these things here, are said in love, and are a father’s duty,
So that you might avoid a man who’ll rob your life of beauty.
Thus, save yourself for just one man, whose love you’ll always treasure
Because of its unselfishness that does not weigh or measure.

By Lance Landall

Note Robbie Williams "Go Gentle" lyrics

You're gonna meet some strangers  
Welcome to the zoo
Bitter disappointments
Except for one or two
Some of them are angry
Some of them are mean
Most of them are twisted
Few of them are clean

 Now when you go dancing with young men down at the disco
Just keep it simple
You don't have to kiss though
Don't waste time with the idiots that think that they're heroes
They will betray you
Stick with us weirdos

For all your days and nights
I'm gonna be there
I'm gonna be there yes I will
Go gentle through your life
If you want me I'll be there
When you need me
I'll be there for you

Don't try to make them love you
Don't answer every call
Baby be a giant
Let the world be small
Some of them are deadly
Some don't let it show
If they try and hurt you
Just let your daddy know

Now when you go giving your heart make sure they deserve it
If they haven't earned it
Keep searching it's worth it

For all your days and nights
I'm gonna be there
I'm gonna be there yes I will
Go gentle through your life
If you want me I'll be there
When you need me I'll be there for you

Go gentle to the light
I'm gonna be there
I'm gonna be there yes I will
If all your days are nights
When you want me I'll be there
Say my name and I'll be there for you

Age gap.

37.  In My Opinion

“Age gap doesn’t matter,” he said, self interest at the forefront, of course, and
He sixty odd, she thirty odd, and in his mind, a date (with a wedding planned).
She politely declining, and rightly so, he having a cheek, in my mind,
’Cause she would get the raw end of the deal, and the burden of old age soon find.

Thirty years far too bigger a gap, and twenty years being most unkind too,
’Cause she needs someone ’round her own age so same rhythms of life they may go through.
They thus growing together, sharing together, she not disadvantaged like,
Nor looking like she’s with her dad, and why to such suitors I’d say, “On yer bike.”

Yes, if his love was true, he’d want the best for her, a man of similar years,
A man she would have for longer, not one who’s grey and well shod in all the gears.
No, she enjoying the equivalent in a male, things balanced and level,
Rather than lopsided and deficient, and which no doubt would oft bedevil.

“It’s fine if they love each other,” some might say — and yes, some do work out, but hey,
They’re no doubt a minority, most having parted, and then gone their own way.
The stages of life hardly enjoyed together, and then there’s the sexual side,
The bridegroom’s appetite and desire soon waning, but not so that of the bride.

Yes, he on the winning end, she on the losing end, and feeling it in time,
Their marriage more like general prose than the lofty heights of rhythm and rhyme.
Or possibly firing at the start, but misfiring further down the track, where
She’s looking around at what could’ve been, and dreamily is seen to stare.

It’s also unfair to any kids born who’ve but a granddad and not a dad,
He dead or doddery far too early, thus what they miss out on, very sad.
All why self should take a back seat, the eyes of men far too often flawed, and who
Justifications have at the ready, which the wiser, savvy woman sees through.

Yes, just as there are gold diggers, there are chicken stealers, and hence their trophy,
Ego booster, but at her expense, ’cause an early widow she would be.
Love all very well, ’cause there’s reality, and was it her or her body?
He no doubt not so enamoured if she was just as nice but hitting sixty.

By Lance Landall

There are those who point to certain age gaps in some biblical relationships like that of Joseph
and Mary or Ruth and Boaz. However, God never intended that such relationships be used as marital
references. They were but mere exceptions, and even tied in with the culture or needs of that time.

No fairness, no progress.

38.  With The "Me Too" Movement In Mind

In these sad times where less believe in God and a day of accountability,
Where less are brought up with those morals and principles found in Christianity,
Where males are being fed a diet of filth, violence and pornography,
Where women are stripping off in disturbing movies and acting just as horny,

Where women are just as promiscuous and dressing more provocatively,
Where hearts and minds are being corrupted by those vices acted out on TV,
Where Hollywood’s churning out darkness that’s clearly inspired satanically,
Where fewer voices are condemning such, and there’s a rampant liberality,

What are the chances that violent assaults and sexual assaults will decline,
Except on a surface level, perhaps, the answer hardly prison or a fine.
You see, while women contribute to the ill themselves (displaying hypocrisy),
And while all this ill’s continued, men aren’t likely to act any differently.

If the diet is worse, so too will be ones mental state, ’cause we’re what we take in,
And we’re also what we act out, what we allow, and what we participate in.
All why society’s less noble, less wholesome, less loving and caring, and why
Little’s going to change no matter how hard the “Me Too” movement is seen to cry.

Patches won’t work, because it’s surgery that’s needed, most hearts and minds full of ill,
The conscience seared, the heart hardened, and even youngsters drawing from that poisoned well.
Laws doing little in the scheme of things, though it’s not their job to, but yours and mine,
And a bad job we’ll do if our own thoughts and ways are corrupted, out of line.

Yes, it’s most intriguing how women are protesting over assaults and so on,
Yet many only too happy to take part in the ills, see morality gone.
They baring it all in mags, in movies, on TV, even in pornography,
Cranking men up, stirring them regularly, and hence those sexual ills we see.

No, women can’t have it both ways, and given the way men are made, it’s most unfair,
Men stirred so easily sexually, and is it any wonder if they leer.
Once stirred, they’re not designed to cut off instantly, hence that frustration that oft churns,
And that criminal compulsion or obsession that in a certain man’s heart burns.

Women’s rights are one thing, prudence and fairness another, thus change needed quickly,
The reintroduction of selflessness, nobleness, wholesomeness and modesty.
But we’re living in a time when anger over things has got out of control, and
Where those protesting are acting just as badly, hence how the fire’s simply fanned.

Political correctness, overreaction, revenge and feministic hate
Are playing their foolish part, including those who evidence even fabricate.
All this turning many off who might otherwise be supportive, and that’s a shame,
’Cause genuine and fair complaints should be dealt with regardless of status or fame.

Such reminds me of Greenpeace and how it’s lost supporters too, given some tactics,
That lawless behaviour that’s supposedly acceptable in order to fix.
Well no it isn’t, two wrongs not making a right, and why all should use commonsense,
And mind what’s on their side before condemning what’s on the other side of the fence.

When we contribute to the ills, who are we to condemn, though crime still shouldn't pay,
But it’s pretty hypocritical when with the emotions of men women play.
Though men shouldn’t assault (period), they shouldn’t be cranked up either, so mind,
'Cause there’s something about the whole “Me Too” thing that's not right, nor fair, but somewhat blind.

Yes, those female predators, groomers, seducers and false accusers missing here,
Not that they should be, because throughout history women have done their horrid share.
All why the focus needs to return to renewed hearts and minds, those things thrown out,
Otherwise, forever and a day, we will still be hearing that same “Me Too” shout.

By Lance Landall

You may also wish to check out my poem Disingenuous "Me Too" Supporters
which is found on my page Concern For Men, Home page.

No fairness, no progress.

39.  Dear Feminist

Dear feminist, I’m guessing that you’ve had a bad run with men — well, certain men,
A father, husband, or just a rum lot, and hence why I have picked up my pen.
And the main reason being, that though I can understand any inner rage,
It’s really a pointless and hypocritical war that many of you wage.

The truth is, there are men out there who have suffered at the hands of women too,
And yet, most kind of taking it on the chin, despite relationships that they rue.
And women in general not making it easy for men, ’cause how they tease,
Driving men crazy with their sexiness, women not seeing for their own trees,

And they wonder why they’re objectified, objectifying coming with ease.

Yes, there’s rude women, nasty women, cold women, cruel women, loose women too,
And many treating men poorly, and there’s those mothers whose behaviour’s askew.
All why you should mind when you point the finger at men, many of them noble,
And yet, many of you taking them down, hence why your rants don’t altogether gel.

Enter that phrase “the other woman,” and sex being a man’s Achilles heel,
Many women using sex, or they starring in porn, hence how from wives they steal.
And so many women nagging and belittling men into relationships,
So how about some fairness, ’cause men too, could spend time on pity party trips.

I’m not meaning to be harsh, but just straight and honest, fault lying on both sides,
Humanity the problem, that sad fallenness that within us all resides.
Nothing gained by blaming things on men, nor women, but by changing hearts and minds,
Which we achieve by breaking down barriers, and not by forming sexist lines.

By Lance Landall

No fairness, no progress.
Christian content or degree.

40.  Take Heart, Dear Wounded Wife

Should your husband go to bed with another women, which he shouldn’t, of course,
It’s not the end of the world, and nor reason to gallop away on your horse.
Such folly on his part may not mean that he doesn’t love you with all his heart,
But simply that he was tempted by sex, the eyes oft where many problems start.

Those Christians that God means everything to, can fall into temptation too,
And thus that same unfaithfulness hurting God as well, who same “Sorry” is due.
Yes, humans so prone to marring their best intentions, and why many men stray,
Because though married, men can see sex as just sex, their loins getting in the way.

And to be fair, there’s much out there that’s spinning a mans radar — yes, the sexy,
Which men have always struggled with, even pictures stirring their machinery.
And once stirred (and work places oft full of real pictures), that hard struggle begins,
Hence that regrettable moment, and why many a Christian too, also sins.

All why God forgives, because He’s into restoration, not demolition,
And thus He saving, hence His grace, which always covers genuine contrition.
But that impaired relationship needing work, and so too that marital blow,
That broken promise, that torpedoed trust, all why healing can be very slow.

Yes, any man can fall, and another chance is one thing, but chances, oh dear,
There you’ve a real problem, repeat offenders but showing how little they care.
All why God might eventually say to many Christians, “Depart from me,” too,
Because there comes a time, and the truth of our profession either false or true.

But take heart, dear wounded wife, mindful of that burden that a man has to bear,
Constantly bombarded with the sexual; your heart he not meaning to tear.
But stirred he will be by much that puts petrol in his tank, and why men can fall,
And this why you should think carefully and thoughtfully before you make that call.

The last thing many men want is to cause hurt, but the pull of sex very strong,
And certain circumstances oft not helping, though any such affair still wrong.
We all needing to exercise control, and deal with those unfair things in life,
And why, despite temptation in any form, a husband shouldn’t hurt his wife.

By Lance Landall

See my poem "Husbands, Love Your Wives" which is found on my page Husbands And Wives.

Why The "Me Too" Movement Should Take Care

You’ve a right to protest, and so you should, but mind that you don’t get too carried away with it all:

Lest you frighten good men off.

Lest all men be dammed, seen as perverts and molesters.

Lest you injure that natural boy and girl flirtation.

Lest men become afraid of being alone with any woman.

Lest men begin to see all women as potential accusers.

Lest more is read into things than should be.

Lest men become hardened due to feeling set upon unfairly.

Lest you aid false accusers, women with some grudge or anti-men sentiments.

Lest it be overlooked that there are women seducers and predators too.

Lest men become discouraged and lose the will to change.

Lest more men pull out of the teaching profession, afraid that they may be accused of this or that.

And lest women suffer too;
Let me explain:
Teaching women to fight back could well prove counterproductive come some rape, say. That rape turning to murder should the rapist become really fired up via a woman’s response that really hurts him. 
Big men hurt aren’t necessarily down, and thus someone’s worst nightmare about to begin.
Thus better women use their minds (though not the same mentality), weighing things very carefully, and remembering 
that attackers often carry a knife or gun (possibly hidden), and thus fists, knees and feet often powerless to do a thing. 
Now, I’m not saying that women shouldn’t defend themselves, but that they had surely better mind, and not get too carried away, because any failed attempt could see them far worse off than they might have been; either suffering far greater injury or dead.
All these martial arts classes and so on are simply making many women rougher and tougher, more like those fantasy Amazon women, and thus such men possibly responding with greater force as if those women were men themselves.
Given the rise in young women committing assaults, we may simply be helping such off track young women out.

The following things will help in discouraging unwanted attention and sexual misconduct:

A manner that declares you’ve higher standards.

Making your boundaries known.

Minding that over friendliness on either side.

Saying “No” to any possible wedges in the door.

Avoiding asking for favours.

Avoiding being alone with men, where possible and practical.

Demanding and encouraging a higher standard from men (which you must live up to yourself lest hypocrisy weaken your stand).

Minding certain industries and situations.

Holding up men who show good character and respect for women, men who’ve a good track record.

Dressing more modestly (because sexiness automatically ups the potential regarding sexual assults given its stirring factor).

This article was tweaked on 11 May 2023.